Hey! I am so SORRY, I know I take FOREVER to get my chapters up, and ughhh, I am so sorry, I feel really bad about it! You're probably gonna hate me for this but, I am a slow updater, so updates are probably gonna be coming slowly, a week or less, or even more, I just can't help it. That's the way I am and I feel really bad, I hope you guys will still keep reading! Also I have a very busy life at the moment, so updating is really, hard. Please remember, that I will not drop this story, I am going to finish it! This chapter is NOT read through, I edited the spelling mistakes… I am pretty sure I got them all.

-smartchic

Chapter 8

Edwards POV

Bella was insane. Did she want herself to get killed? When I saw her walk into biology I was s tempted to… I was very frustrated. I was about to kill Bella. The Bella who fascinated me so much with her blank mind, and everything about her, I confessed to myself.

To say I was a bit drawn to Bella was an understatement. A huge one at that. I felt so ashamed, at my behavior, how could I ever want to kill Bella? But I still felt suspicious. Did Bella somehow know what we are?

In Biology, I saw-though she was trying to hide it-feel around her neck, touching the one spot, where I could see her pulse visibly moving quickly, taunting me, mesmerizing, telling me to drink her sweet smelling blood, that very second, the monster that I tried so hard to contain, was ready to take an innocent human's life.

I ran into the forest, deep where I could yell without anyone thinking anything of it. I smelt a deer of in the distance and raced towards it, my strength killing it instantly. I bit my teeth into the creature, warm blood racing through my body.

I stalked a couple of more deer. As I ran to Carlisle, I thought about Bella. Bella was beautiful to me. She had this sense about her, which made me curious, I wanted to know more about her. But I had to keep my distance, I couldn't let myself be alone with her, but how I wished I could. So I had to do something, I had to leave forks, I couldn't be anywhere near, anywhere I could kill her. As I approached the hospital I slowed down in fast paced walk. With out even telling the nurses where I was going I walked into the room that Carlisle was in, waiting for his next patient. Carlisle was expecting me, his mind told me so. Alice. I thought.

"Carlisle" I said acknowledging him as I barged through the door.

I paced around the room, gathering my thoughts before I spoke.

"I am leaving for Alaska, tonight, I need to get away, think, just get things together." Carlisle looked hurt.

"Edward" Carlisle said. I wasn't listening to his thoughts, I had learned to control, my gift.

"If you must go, go by all means, but, think about it. Edward, do you really have to leave, why not get accustomed, to what Bella smells like to you, you never know if there is someone else out there like Bella that has the same affect on you." Carlisle said.

I almost shouted, that no one will ever have the same affect Bella does on m, because I don't only lust for her blood, but something much more than, something I can't explain. I was in deep thought;

I did not notice Carlisle telling me of Bella's arrival, until I caught a whiff of her scent. I tensed up, my mouth aching to drink her sweet blood, I stopped breathing, I tried to rush out, but I stopped.

Bella and I were face to face, very close to each other on my standards. I looked into her eyes. I wanted to reach for her face. To at least touch her before I left. I felt my hand move up. What am I doing? I stopped myself. I couldn't touch her. I looked more intensely into her eyes.

What were these feelings that I had for her? A mere human. Why was I so attached to a person, that I barely knew? My heart almost sank, I saw pain in her eyes I don't know from where. I searched her face. There was a lone tear lingering on her face, a human wouldn't have noticed it, but I wasn't human.

Knowing she had cried, hurt me, I didn't want her in pain. I left before, I was going to do anything stupid. I needed to pack, and leave right away, leave Bella behind.

I Felt sadness. Both for leaving my family and leaving Bella. I shook in anger, I couldn't have these feelings for her, they were dangerous, especially if I acted upon, my feelings for Bella like I almost did back at the hospital.

I let my mind forget about Bella, I needed to pack. I looked at the sky and saw I had been out here for at least an hour, and blizzard was forming.

(AN) I want to stop Edwards POV here because I don't think I write Edward that well, and I don't want you to stop reading, also I don't know how Edward would act, while Bella was giving birth through his mind, and at the hospital, you can just imagine that all for your self, sorry, I am just not as good as writing other peoples POV, though I will occasionally, do it, maybe even full chapters, I don't really know if I am capturing the characters personality's right, also writing through Edward took a while , I wanted to get it right too! Anyway the story will now continue from the cliffy, part Kay? Enjoy!!!)

I stared up at Carlisle eyes. My worried expression, making Carlisle even sadder. I was breathing loud and slowly. A few tears had already escaped, my eyes.

"Bella, I as I assume you know, I am hear to talk to you about Elizabeth." Carlisle stated, in a serious tone.

I nodded weakly. Seeing that was the only thing I was able to do at the moment. Carlisle, stopped talking and looked up at me, as if contemplating whether or not he should say this.

"Please, Carlisle. Please just tell me" I choked out, whispering the last few words.

"Bella, there is a big chance the Elizabeth, might not make it." He said staring into eyes, pleading me to understand.

" …and what chance does she have to living" I said, my voice quivering. He looked into my eyes, eyes furrowed together, his expression, pained and sad. He just shook his head.

" So you mean, not much time?" I whisper out.

" Not with the way things are going Bella-" he sighed and continued. " I don't want this Bella, I am doing everything I can, to help her, please believe me. Some things are just laid out this way, and we have no way of fixing things, especially with someone as young as Elizabeth."

My mouthed opened many times, trying to say many things, each time my mouth opened more tears burned my vision, until all I could do was collapse to the ground and cry. My face was covered with my hands, and you could see my shoulders shake every time I would let out a sob.

I wasn't aware of Carlisle picking me of the ground and driving me home in my truck. I just remember Charlie, taking me upstairs when we arrived at the house after Carlisle left. Charlie was mumbling nonsense, telling me everything would be alright. Yeah tight! Everything was different now, and no matter how much I prayed or wished, nothing could save my Elizabeth, just like Carlisle said, Elizabeth was a hopeless case.

I lay in bed not crying, just staring off into space. Making myself learn to be numb, just melt away into nothingness, if I was nothing, I wouldn't have to think, I wouldn't be able to worry about…anything, the more I thought about it, the more appealing nothing seemed to me. If I couldn't feel a thing everything would be perfect, I would know anything, anyone, and I would be… really I didn't know.

I laughed a sad angry laugh, I was being suicidal now. Exactly what I need! Something to make me even more messed up!

I cried a lot , and then fell asleep, the dream was the same one, about Elizabeth. The only difference was that I saw part of the face, that belongs to the flash of red. The red hair. Where have I seen this person before I thought before I completely went into unconsciousness.

The weekend was spent, at the hospital, where I would be with Elizabeth, watching as she slowly moved towards death. I read to her, and told her about boys, I told everything I could think of, that she would have learned about in school. I knew she couldn't' understand me, but her being there and alive, was enough. Who really how babies minds' worked, how do people know that infants, toddlers and children, don't understand anything at all, how has it been proven? Their age? How can someone be so sure that age has anything to do with it? For all anyone knows, they could be the world's greatest genius, even though they haven't figured how to work things out?

Today was the day, I finally had to go back to school, with a week of assignments not done, I had a lot of catching up to do, the incident in the forest forgotten. My mind was constantly on Elizabeth, I didn't care about my surroundings which would explain, the several bruises over my body, from tripping, to bumping into things.

School made me depressed and I walked though it, not paying attention to anything, all the rude remarks, Lauren and Jessica would make, were like a different language to me I didn't care nor did I pay attention anymore.

Loosing the baby weight was easy, for I barley ate anything, and I always walked to the hospital, my truck scared me, I don't know why, but I wasn't able to drive it anymore, I always walked to school, also, in the piling snow. Not caring that I would be sick. Nothing mattered to me more than my baby.

So that's how my months went by, that's how my junior year flew by. And all of a sudden it was 2 weeks until summer. Some summer. I thought, while I overheard some freshman exciting about it.

Today was boring, and I walked into the lunch room not expecting anything to happen, when I happed to look over at the Cullen's. I only saw four people. Where was Edward. My heart shuddered, it was a stupid reaction. Alice looked towards me confused, it's as if she heard, me heart. I let out a weak laugh. No human being could hear anyone's heart beat.

"Hey Bella" I heard a quiet voice say behind me I turned around.

It was Angela, and she looked shocked for some reason.

Without thinking I asked. "How come Edward's not here today?" Angela looked happy, I stared at her confused.

" He's been gone for a while Bella, since October." I was really confused.

"I never remember him leaving" I mumble more to myself, then to her.

" How come I didn't notice him gone?" I mumble again to myself.

" Bella, you don't even pay attention, to anyone who talks to you, you haven't since October." I stare at her even more confused. She sees my expression.

" You didn't even know anyone was talking to you, did you?" She whispered softly, I gave a nod.

Angela stared at me concerned. I didn't even care about what she was saying anymore. I felt tears in my eyes. Was it even possible for me to miss him, when we barely knew each other.

I was hyperventilating. "Bella? Are you okay!" Angela yelled startled by my reaction. I shake me head, meaning no. Suddenly I can't breath.

" Angela is looking at me panicked. "Bella! What's wrong!" She yells,. Trying to be useful with her hands, but she does nothing because she can't do anything, her hands move around pointlessly try to figure out what to use them for.

I can fell my oxygen level in my lung almost gone. I point to my throat. "She can't breathe! Someone help!" Angela yells, turning pale.

I feel small pixie like cold hands wrap around my neck, locating a pulse.

"Bella, slow your breathing, concentrate, breathing slowly and calmly" I hear a beautiful voice tell me, and I oblige.

I only think about my breathing, in, out, in, out. I feel, the oxygen return to my body. I stand there pale and in shock. "Bella? Are you alright?"

I nod my head, and mumble thanks, then I walk away. How could Edward being gone, give me such a reaction? I stopped breathing, just because, he wasn't here. Why was I like this? I went to my truck and decided to go home, I knew I would be crying, crying for Edward. And I didn't know why.

I hope you're not disappointed! I tried to make them like there character's would act!!

Please Review!

-smartchic