A/n: This is a very short chapter, but I hope you all still enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed nor do I own anything related to Beth Nielson Chapman's song, "Sand and Water." This takes place sometime after "Valhalley of the Dolls."
Through the Years
Fourteen: Sand and Water
All alone I didn't like the feeling,
All alone I sat and cried,
All alone I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside.
All alone I came into this world;
All alone I will someday die.
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby.
Sand and water, and a million years gone by.
-Beth Nielson Chapman, "Sand and Water"
In all the chaos and fighting about the wedding plans, it had been enormously gratifying the first time they had agreed on something. At the time, it had seemed so simple; one of those little things that signified a step in the right direction, even if everything else was so complicated. White gold wedding bands.
Leo thought they looked tasteful, she remembered. More so than the traditional gold, for some reason. She had wanted them because her engagement ring was white gold, as was most of her other jewelry. It was practical and made sense. And when they had agreed it had been like a weight lifting off of her shoulders. We can get through these plans, she had thought.
She really hadn't anticipated that less than three years later, the wedding rings would be causing her so much pain. More pain than a cake. A guest list. Flower arrangements. Who cared about any of that now? The cake had been ruined; the guests had left; the flowers died; but her ring, that was supposed to last forever.
How was she supposed to do this? It wasn't the kind of thing you imagined or foresaw. It wasn't even something anyone prepared you for. Should she do it all at once, like ripping off a band aid, or slowly, to try to dull the pain? Phoebe did it, she thought vaguely. Mom did it. With the same engagement ring I'm wearing now.
But it wasn't supposed to be like this. These rings were supposed to stay on her finger until the day she died, and then, maybe, someone could take them off to pass on to another family member.
It was strange how far distant and unreal her life had become. Her mother was dead. Her grandmother was dead. Her sister was dead. Her husband had chosen to leave after years of fighting to be with her. She was raising a child by herself. Her other sisters were running further and further from the family. All around her people were living and dying and smiling and sobbing and dancing and praying, and here she was, sitting in a dark bedroom at eleven o'clock at night, thinking of the least painful way to remove her wedding ring.
"Okay," she said quietly, trying to clear her mind. "Real fast. It won't hurt." Shutting her eyes, she wrapped her fingers around both rings and pulled; up over her knuckles, past her fingernail, off into the palm of her right hand. When she opened her eyes, her ring finger was bare, with scarcely a tan line to indicate she'd been married. Slowly, she opened her right fist and looked at the rings lying in her palm, lonely and out of place.
Maintaining her composure better than she had expected, she opened her jewelry box and took out Leo's ring, which he had given to her when he had left. Was it as hard for him to remove his? she wondered. She gathered all three rings together and picked up a ribbon, slipping it through the rings and tying it. Then she lay the rings in her jewelry box, and with one last glance, shut it.