Chapter 2: Crushing Addiction

Rachael's POV

I knocked on their door, "Roger? Its Rachael, can I come in?"

I heard footsteps then Roger appeared, "Yeah sure Rachael, come on in." He said with a smile.

I walked in, looking around. Their loft was much bigger than mine, and more messy. But it had a nice feel to the place, homey, lived in, mine still looks empty. "Nice place."

He just laughed, "Oh yeah, living in a crap pile, so nice." His tone held sarcasm I wasn't used to, in some ways he was the same old Roger Davis, but part of him had changed too.

I remembered when he was younger his smile was always there on his face, no matter what, he had always been a optimistic guy, but I guess times change.

He held up a box of Captn Crunch and shook it at me, "Have you had breakfast yet?"

I shook my head and he brought me a bowl, and I took a bite, but put my spoon down again, "Roger, this is stale!"

He looked at it, "Really?" He got closer to look at it, "I don't really taste it anymore. Welcome to the bohemian life."

I took another bite, chewing slower this time, "How'd you start living like this?"

He looked down at his cereal again, taking a couple more bites before answering. He knew I didn't really mean how he became broke, but more how his life had been and it was a typical Roger to stall. "It started maybe 3 years ago. I was in my band, the Well Hungarians, and my girlfriend and the band members, all started shooting up after the gigs. At first I refused ya know, we had always said it wasn't going to be like that. One day, though, I cracked, and gave in, which started my addiction. One day I came after practice and I-I saw," I could see how hard this was for him, "She had slit her wrists in the bathroom, and left a note saying, 'We've got AIDS'. Mark helped me get through withdrawal and soon I met Mimi. She-she,you would have gotten along well with her. She changed my life." His eyes grew sadder, his green eyes showing the depths of his pain, "But she died, a year ago."

I put my arms around him, "I'm so sorry."

He hugged me back silently, wiping his eyes of the tears about to fall. "So how long have you known Mark?" I asked trying to remain inconspicuous.

A smile slowly began to creep out, "I met him through Collins, do you remember him? He came my last year of high school."

I nodded, I didn't know him that well and only remembered him vaguely, but I remembered him. Roger looked at me, his smile a little brighter, watching me as I tried to pretend that I didn't want to keep asking more questions about Mark.

"You like him don't you?" He asked with a little laugh. Roger could always tell, he always knew.

"I-well, I mean, we don't." I couldn't put the sentence together, "He's very nice."

Roger looked at me closer, looking into my eyes, he always could tell what I felt. "Continue…."

He was staring at me so attently, I couldn't help but burst out, "I think he's bloody beautiful and amazing!!!"

I realized what I had said as Roger burst out laughing, then covered my mouth with my hand. "Did I actually just say that aloud?"

He nodded still laughing at my random outburst as I blushed like mad. Then I looked around in horror, "He's not here is he?"

Roger shook his head, slightly calmer now. "He's out looking for work, or filming, I cant remember."

Still very red, I grabbed my stuff, "I think I'm going to go get some drawing in before I lose inspiration. I'll see you later."

He followed me over to the door, a big smile now on his face, "You're going to go draw Mark aren't you?"

I turned even redder and didn't answer. I closed to door back into 4b, I could hear him still laughing. He knew me too well. I grabbed the same drawing pad I started using to draw him, and went to go lay on my bed. I had never had an addiction to anything before in my life, no crushing addiction like Roger had told me about. But the desire to see his eyes again was driving me insane. Lost for hours, I drew his face over and over, it never seeming quite as perfect as the real version.

Mark's POV

I closed the door taking off my scarf, and setting down my camera. "I'm home!" I expected for Roger to be in his room as usual, but instead he was sitting on the kitchen counter with his guitar, surprising me yet again. If anything, Rachael's appearance had been a blessing for Roger's recovery, he seemed happier. He wasn't back to his old self, but this blast from the past was surely helping.

"Hey Marky….." he said with traces of a smirk on his face.

"What is it?" I asked worried I had something stuck to me or something. I spun around in a circle trying to see if I had anything on my back, before stopping, realizing how stupid I must have just looked.

He laughed lightly, "Ohh nothing. Though Collins called while you were out, he's back in town at the end of the week. Film anything cool today?"

I nodded, still not sure why he had such an evil seeming grin on his face. "A couple pigeons, some hopeless people, a group of punk rocker kids sitting in the park, and…." I didn't really want to finish knowing I would have to tell Roger that every girl I filmed today in some way shape or form reminded me of Rachael. She hadn't left my mind. "That's it."

He just continued strumming his guitar. But I was dying to know and asked him quietly, "Did you see Rachael today?"

He looked up and smiled, "I thought you'd never ask mister Romeo." I blushed profusely as he continued, "Yes she did as a matter of fact. "

"How is she?" I asked, still red.

"Well if you mean, how is she like how she's doing, she's doing good. And if you meant in some weird way, like what she though of you, she thinks you're pretty cool." He said smiling impishly.

"Really?" I asked incredulously. He nodded and then continued playing his guitar.

I slowly sat down on the couch playing with my scarf in my hands. Her piercingly pretty green eyes seemed to stare at me, seducing me. I buried my head in my scarf, trying to get her out of my mind. I felt like she was right there, I could imagine her tucking her hair behind her ears as she does when she gets antsy, I could imagine her walking over to Roger, her walk graceful and then punching him in the shoulder playfully like the old friends they were. I felt doomed to walk the earth alone, her always right there smiling brilliantly.

It was almost torture to dream of her, to dream of her perfection. She was so gorgeous, it seemed unfair that I would have to watch as, inevitably, she would soon be dating someone else, and be happy with him. It was a sad feeling, knowing that I wanted her to still be happy, hoping that if she wasn't with me, that she was with someone who would treat her like the gem that I know she is.