Disclaimer: same as always

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Chapter 6: Dream Without Hesistation

Mark's POV

I smiled, Rachael had her arms around me, begging me to stay, "I'm sorry Rach, but I have to get to work, we do have bills to pay."

She nodded, her body pressed against mine, with her hands still not letting me go, "I know, but can't you just skip work and stay home with me."

She looked up at me, pouting and batting her eyelashes. The fact that she was also in a tight fitting, but loosely wrapped, robe made it hard to resist.

But I was adamant in my decision, "I might be able to cut out a little early, maybe. Just for you."

She smiled, "Fine." Her arms now resting on my waist but not as protectively.

I gave her a kiss, my arms around her, the taste made me want to head back into her loft and make love to her.

But I pulled away and left for the Life, "Bye."

"Bye!!"

I hung my messenger bag over my shoulder, breathing quickly as the cool breeze passed by. I thought about her longing face as we parted every morning. It was so hard to leave her there when I was out washing fucking dishes. I knew it was worth it though. I wanted to buy her something once I had enough money, I didn't know what, but something to show her I cared. I know it will be worth it in the end, to her smile, as long as I get her the right gift. I frowned in thought, opening to the door to The Life.

Rachael's POV

I shut the door, feeling the smile quickly fall off my face. He made me feel so happy, without him it was pure torture. I wanted to have him next to me, holding me, kissing me.

I was about to make myself breakfast when the phone rang.

"Hi you've reached Rachael, please leave a message after the beep!"

Because of costs, I was screening my calls. I also didn't exactly want to speak to my dad, our regular silence had ensued since his visit.

"Hey Rach, Its Joanne." I heard another voice add, "and Maureen!" Joanne took back over, "We were wondering if you wouldn't mind babysitting for us-"

I ran over to the phone and picked up, "I would love to!!!"

It would give me something to do till Mark got back, and they were adorable kids. It was perfect.

"Really?" Joanne asked sounding extremely relieved.

"Of course. Its no problem, you can drop them off and pick them off whenever." I said.

I was excited for a chance to play mom for a bit. It was a role, I had envisioned myself being a mom since I was little, and it was always fun to pretend even if for just a couple hours.

"Thanks, we'll bring them over in about an hour or so. Thanks again Rachael!!" Joanne said, and in the background I could hear her rushing the kids out the door.

"No problem, see you soon!" I said, hanging up the phone.

With a new bounce in my step, I tried to prepare of a night of kid fun. I realized after I was all ready, and in a more comfy outfit, that Roger was probably alone in the loft. I went over and knocked on his door. At first there wasn't an answer, so I knocked harder, scared suddenly. What if something had happened to him? What if he had left without telling anyone then got mugged or something else terrible had happened to him? I pounded on the door, when he finally opened.

"Hey Rachael." He said nonchalantly, as if nothing was wrong.

I gave him a huge hug, then hit him lightly on his arm. He feigned pain, nursing his now 'broken arm'. "What was that for?"

"For scaring me shitless! That's why! Its better to come on first knock." I scolded, arms crossed around my chest.

He smiled, "Sorry Rach. What ya up to?"

"Joanne and Maureen asked me to babysit, I was wondering if you wanted to help me, I didn't know if you were gonna be alone in the loft, sooo yeah." I said, rambling slightly.

He shrugged, "I surely have nothing to do, sure. Can I bring my guitar?"

I nodded, he ran to grab it, then walked back with me to my loft.

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Joanne and Marueen arrived not to long after, the kids in their arms.

"But Mommy's, I don't want you to go!!!" Ryan begged them as they tried to leave.

Marueen smiled, "We know Ry, but we'll be back soon. And I'm sure Rachael and Roger will be awesome babysitters."

Joanne nodded, handing the already sleepy Ella to Roger. Once in his arms the little girl seemed at ease, and rested against his chest. I watched a small envy as she stayed there content. Marueen handed Ryan to me, and before he could protest anymore they were gone. He looked up me, his big brown eyes sad.

"I want my mommy's." He cried. I picked him up and let him fly into the loft like a plane. He giggled, the frown now replaced with a wide-open grin. He laughed as he 'flew' around a bit until I put him down.

"Again, again!" He asked, his eyes bright, reminding me of Marueens.

I smiled, "Later, don't worry Ryan. Don't want to get worn out to quickly."

Roger, shutting the door, chuckled softly. We had babysat before, in high school. His eyes were glazed over, probably with memory. He sat down on the couch, letting Ella rest on him, her sweet blue eyes already beginning to close.

Ryan had a puzzled look on his face for a moment, then pointed to my sketchbooks, which I had piled in a corner.

"What are those?" He asked, taking one.

He flipped it open to see drawings of Mark, I took them from his hand and shook my head.

"They're umm…private." Later on in that sketchbook I had let my imagination go into play, I blushed at the thought of his innocent eyes seeing them. "But I can draw you if you like?"

He nodded fervently. I smiled and slowly set him in a seat with good light.

"Now you must stay very still. It shouldn't take very long. Try not to move, here I'll make it a contest. If you can hold it the whole time, you get a prize."

He smiled a silent response, signaling me to start. I took in his face first. He had a heart shaped face, like Marueen's, his eyes a deep chocolate brown. His eyes held depth, a depth only in a child, I could see his imagination, his dreams. A childs wishes had no limits, they only dreamed of the stars. I also accounted for his small almost elf-like ears, which enhanced his youth, but then his straight nose and thin lips spoke of a calm in him, a contradicting sense of age in features. I let it all seep through me, as I drew him. 20 minutes later, I was done, and he hadn't moved a bit.

"You did great Ryan!" I got up and went over to my closet.

He hopped of the chair and shook his body, acting like an activity deprived dog. I pulled out my last bar of Cadbury's chocolate and handed it to him. When he saw that it was chocolate, he jumped up ecstatically. Roger laughed watching as Ryan danced around the room, the chocolate in hand. I sat down next to Roger, laughing along.

"Why did you gave him your last chocolate?" He asked

"Because he won it." I said.

His brow furrowed, "But it was your last, I thought you loved Cadburys."

"I do, but he earned it. That's what you do for kids, I can get chocolate any other day." I said, sticking by my beliefs, even though I was wanting the chocolate desperately as Ryan ate it messily.

Roger looked down at sleeping Ella, "You have always loved kids haven't you? Want your own someday?"

I nodded, "Someday, I don't when it would be. I've always wanted to be a mum."

"With Mark?" He asked, catching me by surprise.

"I-I don't know. If, we, if things were like that- if our relationship got there…" I paused. I'll admit I had thought about it briefly. I would love it, but what if he didn't feel the same? That thought made me feel suddenly silly for even dreaming. If only I could be like Ryan, free to dream without hesitation. I continued with a clearer sense of mind. "If Mark and I get to that point, it'd be lovely."

He nodded with knowing smiled. I could sense he wasn't telling me something. I waited but he just stayed silent.

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After some more playing, and some dinner, Ryan was finally falling asleep, his head in my lap. I stroked his hair, yawning myself. I hadn't babysat in a while, truthfully, I felt worn out. Ella was also laying on me, Roger playing his guitar. I smiled, with them laying here with me, I felt so happy. You never realized how happy children make you, until you're with them. I felt my eyes slowly shut, a smile on my face as the dream of Mark and I played in my head.

Mark's POV

I slipped the bracelet in my pocket. Finally, with today's earnings I could finally get her something. I just hoped she would like it. What if she didn't? What if she hated it or thought it was too much? I shook my head, trying to block the doubts pressing into me. I knocked on her loft door. When she opens, just smile, and ignore the thoughts in your head. I was prepared, but then Roger opened the door.

"Hey Roger." I said surprised

He put his finger to hips lips, and silently let me in. The place looked like a mess, and right in the middle of it all, she was asleep on the couch. She looked serene and peaceful, a smile on his face.

"What happened?" I whispered.

"She babysat for Mo and Jo." He whispered back, then grabbing his guitar and headed towards the door. Before he left he turned back around, "Mark?"

"Yeah Rog?" I asked quietly.

"You know how you told me you wanted kids?" He asked, and I nodded. "You should have seen her eyes when she was playing with Ryan. And…I think she's too scared to admit it, but….she wants it to. With you."

He shut the door softly behind as he left me in complete shock. My head still spinning from just the thoughts of raising a family with someone as amazing as her. I went over to the couch and lifted her into my arms. It seems she had decided to take a nap. Wrapping her arms around my neck for support, I carried her over to her bed. I layed her down, giving her a small kiss. I pulled up to leave, but her arms hadn't seemed to let go. I tried again, but she wouldn't let go. I blushed, with no other choice, and climbed into bed next to her. Her arms were still around me, as I found myself nodd off to sleep in the tight embrace. An image of us together, and little Marks and Rachaels, was in my mind as I dreamed of a potential future.