Chapter 13: Mara Bell Cohen
(shout out to RappAddict, who helped me an idea for this chapter!)
Rachael's POV
Joanne rested her hand on mine, "What do you want to do today?"
I shrugged, "I think I might want to try and go to the Academy, I think I'm ready again."
Joanne smiled, Ella on her lap. She had her thumb in her mouth, and her eyes bright as she looked up at me. I felt her calm in the little girls presence, and a little sad. My hand went to my stomach, as I missed the baby that used to be inside. I looked over at Mark and smiled, he was slaving away on his film, attached his projector at the hip, his brow furrowed. My hand slowly went back to my side, my heart had seemed to mend when he had said he wanted kids too, the idea didn't seem too farfetched anymore.
Joanne smiled, "That's great."
Ryan ran past me, chasing after one his toys. Following him, came Maureen whose face was lit with a motherly glow that I found myself jealous of. Ryan giggled, picked up his little car and came over to me. Jumping up and down he asked with his puppy dog eyes inherited surely from the drama queen, "Will you play with me?"
"Sure Ryan" I said, gladly sitting on the floor with him.
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I pushed open the red door to the classroom and sighed with relief, it was the same. Mark held my hand tightly.
"You're going to be great." He whispered, causing a small smile. "Thanks"
I started to prepare for class, the clock ticking by and with each moment a dull ache grew inside of me.
Finally the clock hit the hour and Mark gave me a kiss on the cheek, "I'll see you back at the loft in an hour."
He was going to leave but I reached out and took his hand, "Mark….can-can you stay?"
"Sure." He said, sitting in one of extra seats. I wasn't ready to admit it, but I was still scared, I wanted him near all the time, just in case. Eric's reappearance had made me more cautious. His continuous presence made the ache disappear.
Mark filmed me from the back as I taught, sending me assuring glances and always smiling.
As I cleaned up all the pencils and materials, Mark came behind me and wrapped his arms around me, "You were really great."
"Really?" I asked, turning around in his arms. I didn't think I was a very good teacher, I hadn't been formally taught to become a teacher.
"Yeah, they really get it when you tell them to draw something, although I don't particularly like some of the looks you get from your male students, they all respect you." He said with protectiveness in his voice.
I smiled, "Don't worry, I only have eyes for you Mark." I leaned in and kissed him deeply. He smiled and pulled me close as I leaned against my desk.
"I love you." I said softly.
He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his eyes looking in mine, "I love you too, more than you know."
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I sat down next to Mark, the Life full of fellow bohemians.
"Hey you guys!" Collins yelled from across the table.
I waved then took off my snow covered jacket and turned to Mark, who was struggling with his scarf. I laughed and helped him untangle it.
There was a rush of cold air as the door opened and Roger stepped in, looking contemplative. Ignoring our hello's he went over to Collins.
"Tell them-tell them, tell the band that I'm in." He said rushing as if he didn't say it he would change his mind.
Collins broke into a larger smile, "That's great Roger, I'll tell them."
I gave Roger a warm smile as he sat down across from Mark and I. Maureen and Joanne joined next, Maureen sitting next to me.
"Glad to have you back." She said
"Thanks."
Ella climbed over into my lap, leaning against my chest, her eyes falling fast. I smiled, my heart full of love for her. I glanced at Mark, his eyes showing the same as he touched my shoulder and kissed her forehead.
I looked out the window, the snow filling me with a sudden sadness. Ella no longer felt like a small baby in my arms, but a weight and reminder of what could have been. The waiter passed by in a hurry but I stopped him.
"Can you bring me a candle and a pen? And not the little birthday candles, a real one."
He gave me a funny look but nodded. Mark didn't say anything but he gave me that look aswell.
I looked down at Ella and rocked her gently, lost in my own world till the waiter touched my shoulder. "Here."
I took them in my hand then shakily wrote "Mara Bell Cohen" on the candle.
"Collins, can I have a match?" I asked, reaching across to him.
With another odd look, he dug out a match from his pocket and handed it to me.
I lit it and placed it on the table, just staring it and trying to keep the sadness inside. Gradually I felt everything around me get silent.
Mark's POV
She lit the candle then put in on the table, her hands shaking slightly and her eyes misty. She didn't saw anything, just stared at it. Everyone around the table gradually turned and looked at her, their voices softening. Roger's green eyes filled with concern.
What was it she was so concentrated on? I looked at the candle a little closer, and it took me a moment to understand fully. It said, Mara Bell Cohen, a name, for the baby. I wanted to help her, but I wasn't the one that had had something growing inside me, to have it taken away by someone I hated. I still felt the pain in me, I had wanted kids, but I knew it could never compare to her pain.
"Rach…" I stared down at Ella in her arms, she was clinging to Rachael tightly.
I took her hand and the hand of the person next to me. Before long everyone joined hands as all of us silently acknowledging the candle.
I saw a tear fall down her face and she remained silent. More tears began to fall and she whimpered softly, Ella now asleep in her arms.
I broke the circle and hesitantly gave her a hug. Her arms went around me, Ella between us, and she cried on my shoulder.
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Rachael lay asleep in my lap, her cheeks still tear-stained. I stroked her hair, hating that there wasn't much to take away the sadness inside her.
The phone rang and a voice filled the loft. "SPEAAAKKK!!!"
"Mark, hi it's Cindy." I felt my sorrow turn to anger, Cindy had wrecked everything. "I just wanted to see how that film of yours is coming and see what was going on…" I got up carefully and picked up the phone.
"Hi." I heard her intake of breathe, she probably hadn't expected me to actually pick up. But before she could speak I continued, "Look, I really really don't want to talk to you right now. So just don't call, okay?"
"Why not Mark? Am I not allowed to care for my little brother?" She asked, her voice sugar-coated and fake.
"No, after what you did I'm surprised you have the conscience to call. You are never allowed to speak to Rachael like that." I could hear my voice rising so I paused, I didn't want to wake Rachael. "For your information, whether or not I get a job isn't based on whether I'm seeing Rachael, it depends on how much they like what I film. You had no right to tell her what to do. She's gone through a lot because of you and what you told her. I really love her Cindy." The other end of the line became quiet, I rarely poured my heart out to her. "I love her Cindy, and you're just going to have to deal with that." I hung up, slamming the phone down.
I sighed, glad to have gotten that all off my chest. Cindy had been one of the many reasons I had wanted to leave home, she had also been nosy and a bitch.
I sat back down on the couch and kissed Rachael's forehead as she continued to sleep. I closed my eyes, leaning against the pillow. Her suitcases. I opened my eyes suddenly, the image still haunting me.
I looked down at her, remembering how I had found her, crying as she was writing a letter. I gulped, my throat caught. She was really going to have left me. The feelings came back to me and I felt once again like a little boy when my parents tried to take my camera away from me. I couldn't t breathe and I held her close, not wanting to ever let her go.
I needed her more than she thought. Did I really care about my work so much that she might think it was more important to me than her? I looked up at the falling snowflakes outside, my head and my heart in a fierce argument.
I jumped when I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned my head to see Roger standing above me. I hadn't even hear him come in.
"Roger." I whispered. "I want to marry her."
A/N: Sorry it took so long, chapters will be about everyweek or so due to the wonderful hell called school. Hope you guys are enjoying it!