Chapter 20: The Best

(3 months later)

Rachael's POV

I hummed quietly that irresistible hook as I sat down with a bowl of cereal. Roger's band was really doing well and their newest song was stuck in my head, again.

"You like it then?" I heard a rather smug voice say from behind me.

"Yeah I do, you guys are really good." I said as Roger smiled, getting himself a cup of coffee.

I felt arms come around my waist and I closed my eyes, leaning into Mark's chest. I felt his scarf next to my face and I gave it a playful tug, "Morning love"

"Morning Rach." He kept his arms around me tightly as he gave me a kiss on the neck. Ever since we had been married, our relationship was better than ever. We spent most of the time together, apart from work, and I didn't think our love had ever been stronger.

Every time we were together, it was just this feeling in the pit of my stomach – wait, god no that's not what this is. This doesn't feel like normal, not at all. "Excuse me." I got up quickly and ran to the sink. With my hands on either side of the sink, I threw up.

My throat felt scratched up and my stomach felt oddly queasy. I was about to lift my head when my stomach gurgled and more came up. I felt Mark's hand rubbing my back. Once I felt a little steadier I turned the tap on and took a small sip.

"Are you ok?" Mark asked his worry discernable. "Rachael?"

I stood slowly and rested against Mark as he stroked my hair. "Was it bad cereal?" He asked, which caused Roger to stop mid chew and push his bowl away.

"I don't know, maybe." I kept my head on his chest, his smell was soothing. I played with the frayed edges of his scarf as my thoughts mulled over. The feeling wasn't entirely new, but I couldn't place when I had felt like this ever before. I closed my eyes when suddenly the memories hit me and my eyes opened just as quickly as they had shut. I had been like this, with my head on his chest, we were lying in bed and I had gotten up, oh god.

"Mark, I haven't felt like this since I was pregnant." I blurted out

"You- what?" He asked quietly. I looked up at him, "I could be pregnant."

His eyes widened and he stuttered slightly, "A-are you s-sure?"

I shook my head, "Not absolutely sure, but I know this feeling is the same as last time."

As he stared at my stomach and a smile slowly started to form, "Wow."

"I can't believe it." I said so quietly I was almost whispering in excitement.

"Me neither." He said as his blue eyes twinkled before giving me a small kiss: to which I happily responded.

"Before you two go all crazy on me, don't you at least want to make sure?" Roger suggested smartly.

"Right, we need to get some tests." I said with cheerful jitters as I grabbed my purse. With a bright but uncertain smile on his face Mark shook his head as we walked out the door, "There is a free clinic closer than the store."

I held his hand tightly as we both sat in the white plastic chairs, which were rather uncomfortable. But the discomfort took a back seat to my anticipation.

"Mrs. Cohen?" I stood swiftly, stopping only for a moment to enjoy hearing those words. Even though it had been 3 months, I felt slightly giddy at the outward mention of being Mark's wife. I doubted I would ever stop taking pleasure in being his 'Mrs. Cohen'.

Still holding his hand tightly, we followed the red-headed nurse. She led us to a beige-walled room but before leaving to talk to the doctor, she turned to me. "Just down the hall is the restroom, inside it are some tests. We recommend that you take more than two just to be sure and then we'll check you."

Mark seemed apprehensive at staying behind, but I gave his hand a squeeze and whispered, "It's ok, I'll be right back."

I had an energy pulsing through me as I walked down the corridor. I could be carrying Mark's child, a baby with his sweet cobalt eyes. I locked the door then took three tests just to be sure.

Holding them carefully on the correct side, I walked back to Mark's side and set them on the table. We both waited nervously for the time to elapse for them to reveal their answers.

He kissed my forehead reassuringly, "How much longer?"

I laughed softly, glad to know he was as restless as I was. "Only a minute or so left."

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze as the time passed what seemed very slowly. Finally one the tests had changed color, "Blue! Oh my gosh, Mark!" He held my hand a little tighter as the next two changed within seconds of the first, and they all turned blue.

I threw my arms around his neck as tears unexpectedly started to flow. "I'm pregnant Mark." I had never thought it would happen this quickly but I was glad that it had. I wanted nothing more than to a mum to his kids. The dizziness was momentarily forgotten as I was filled with a blissful joy.

He held me tightly, "Wow, this is amazing…we're having a baby." His voice was quiet, but he sounded excited.

The nurse came in and seeing the tests, she smiled, "Congratulations." Her words spoken as though she really meant it, "Was this planned?"

Mark shook his head, "Not really, but its good news anyways."

She checked me over to see how far along I was and to make sure everything seemed alright. As I was 12 weeks along, she said everything looked great and to come back periodically.

"There's a phone in the waiting room if you need to make calls." She said after congratulating us once again.

I was bursting with elation as I dialed the number to my mum's flat in London, "Hello?"

"Mum? It's Rachael." I said trying to keep myself calm so not to give it away

"Hello darling. How are you? You certainly sound like everything's well." She said in her usually jovial voice

"Everything's wonderful. We actually have some news for you." I said with a grin, "I'm pregnant."

"That was rather quick!" I blushed pink, "That's very exciting news indeed. Oh darling, I wish you two the best."

Mark's parents were next, I could tell he was unsure of how they would take this.

"Hi Mom."

"No no everything's good." He tightened his grip on my hand.

"That's not why I'm calling actually. Rachael and I wanted to share something with you."

"Well, you're going to be grandparents." I saw him wince as pleasant hysterics came loudly through the phone. Although her voice was muffled, I could tell she was defiantly not upset, which came as a relief to both of us.

"Thanks mom, well we have more people to call. I'll talk to you later." He hung up with a look of puzzlement.

"It went well love, don't worry." I said

He nodded and bit his lip, looking down at the money we had left to spend, "How about we tell everyone else at the life instead of wasting this on phone calls."

"Sounds like a great idea." I said, feeling very giddy still.

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(3 months later)

I closed the door and set down my purse. I had just had a doctor's appointment that Mark was supposed to have been at, but he didn't show. I rubbed my rounded belly, cursing at my aching body as I sat down on the couch. I was in dire need of a back rub or something. I stared around empty loft with a sigh. Collins was at a class, Roger had band practice, and Mark…he was out at work as usual I guess. Ever since the baby had come, he had started to pull away and was working more than ever. I rested my head against the pillow looking out at the summer sunshine outside the window. When I had found out that I was pregnant, I hadn't expected this at all. We were both so excited. Maybe I had been daft to think he would be here with me, coming to the doctor's, taking me on walks, rubbing my back. He had done so in the first trimester, but now well on into the second trimester when I was starting to need him the most, he was no longer here.

I closed my eyes as the hot air prickled against my skin causing me to feel even more uncomfortable. I needed him now so much, to hold me to tell it would be ok in the end. I felt so misshapen and unsightly and although he didn't seem to mind much, he wasn't responding to me the way he used to. I bit back tears as I tried to nod off to sleep.

I was woken suddenly as I heard the door close. "Mark?" I opened my eyes slowly, sat up, and glanced up at the clock which read 7:00. He had never stayed working this late.

"Hey Rachael." He said in monotone. I stood, trying to be optimistic and went to go give him a hug, maybe he had just had a bad day. But when I touched his shoulder, he recoiled and started to arrange some of his reels.

His flinch sent a tremble though me and with it a wave of sadness. What had happened to the Mark I married?

With a little trouble I waddled to our room and lay down on the bed. The mattress gave comfort to my swollen feet, but my heart was still in pain. In my pregnant therefore very hormonal state I couldn't help it any longer and cried into the pillow.

Mark's POV

Ok, that scene has to come before this, no no. I slammed my fist against the table and put my head in my hands, nothing was going right today. I heard the door open and I looked up to see Roger walk in the door.

"How was practice?" I asked, staring back down at the reels in determination

"It was good, things are going well..." He set his guitar down and looked over to the couch, "Where's Rachael?" he asked, his ragged worn-out voice sounded concerned.

"Uhh, in our room I think." I said, not really listening as I thought about this upcoming film.

"Mark…Mark?!" Roger waved his hand in front of my face, his voice pulling me out of my concerns.

"What? Yeah. Sorry, I was thinking." I said. Roger sighed, "God Mark, when did you become the idiot? It's normally the other way around."

"Excuse me?" I looked up at him not understanding at all.

His expression grew almost angry and his voice gradually was getting louder, "It doesn't take a genius to see Rachael's unhappy. You're barely around anymore. You need to be here for her, she needs you. And quite frankly if you don't do something, you might lose her. She's my friend too and I'm not going to let your stupidity ruin everything. Have you even seen her lately? You're being a stubborn ass and it's about time you realized."

I shoved all the film onto the floor. "I know I know ok!" I said loudly, frustrated with myself more than anything. "I'm not trying to Roger! I'm not trying to hurt her. God I'm scared, okay… I'm fucking terrified." Soon everything was tumbling out, "The reason I work so much is because I want more than anything for this baby to have a good life to come into. New York isn't a goddam rich suburb, its not! I would never forgive myself if this baby was screwed up. I'm trying to do – everything – that I can for it." I tried to calm myself down, and whispered "What if I'm not a good dad?"

I looked up at Roger, who looked shocked. I hadn't really gotten in this big of an argument with him since before he left for Santa Fe. "Roger what if I screw up? I can't let that happen, okay?"

Roger shook his head before speaking in a much calmer tone than before, "Mark, man, you're going to be a great dad. Really, trust me on that. You have to relax though ok. Yeah, Alphabet City might not be the best place to raise a kid. But you two are going to love the baby so much, and it will have us. Screw suburbs, we'll figure this out. We always do. I understand that you want to throw yourself into your work, but man, Rachael needs you."

I nodded and slowly put the reels away. "Go get her" Roger said with a fraction of a smirk.

I opened the door to see Rachael crying into the pillow and it nearly broke my heart. Roger was right, I really had been an ass. I sat next to her and stroked her hair. She eventually turned on her side and looked up at me in surprise.

Before she could speak I said, "I'm sorry." This seemed to surprise her even more, her green eyes looked up at me sad but hopeful.

"I know I should have-" It was hard for me to tell this to her, but I knew I had to continue, "I should have come talk to you instead flooding myself with my job. But, Rachael, I've been so scared. I'm sorry for detaching from everything, I-I'm just worried all the time that the baby won't have what it needs and that I won't be able to give it what it needs. I just want to be a good dad." I finished quietly.

I remembered suddenly a movie I had watched when I was younger. I felt very much like the main character: Johnny, save for Johnny had stolen candy. I felt like he did when he was explaining the felony to his mother, he was just trying to please her. He wasn't trying to be bad, and neither was I. We were both just a little confused I guess.

"Oh Mark…." She cried. "You are going to be great dad, you'll see."

I slid down and lay next to her. She scooted closer to me as I wrapped my arms around her, my hands resting on her stomach.

"I'm scared too." "We'll get through this together. We'll figure it out someway."

I nestled closer to her. I hadn't realized how much I had missed just holding her, it was what I was meant to do. As she slowly fell asleep, I just watched her breathe until I felt something beneath my hands. I looked down and realized the baby had kicked me. I smiled and fell asleep too as our world was slowly starting to right itself again.

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Sorry it took so long for a chapter, 'm a lazy ass I'll admit. I have finals soon so I'll do what I can. Sadly I only see a few more chapters for this story. But then….duh duh duh – a sequel!!!!