A/N: Ahh this took me a while to do! Mainly because during the holidays, I was having fun, which I'm sure most of us were, right? But now it's back to school oo nuuuu! I have so many textbooks to read, and a thick novel called, Pride and Prejudice. Bahh, I'll just read the study guide chapter summaries grins. But let's forget about school for about 30 minutes and enjoy the latest chapter. It's the longest one I've done so far! I'm sure you'll like this one, or at least I hope so! I hope everyone had a safe and fun winter holiday!
Tai...
I awoke suddenly. The pain seemed to disappear in a flash, but it was still pitch black. I then realized that my eyes were still closed. I struggled to open them, and as I did, light seeped in and everything was white. Where am I? Am I dead?
It was then the scent of antiseptic and that horrid hospital smell filled my nose. I could see out of my peripheral vision what must have been a window on my left, since there was a bright light shining through. My vision was still blurry, so I couldn't make everything out just yet. On my right, there appeared to be a curtain, which was likely the room divider.
Why am I in a hospital? That was the thought that came to mind before images prior to the accident came flooding back in fragments. Drinking with Mimi. Tai and I in the living room talking about something. Then I was on a balcony and... And...
And then you fell off like a drunken idiot!
Oh right! That's right! I was going to confess my love to Tai that night! How the hell did I manage to fall off the balcony? I must have been really drunk. God, I'm such an idiot! Jeez...what the hell was I thinking? And now here I am, confined to a fricken hospital bed, in a fricken hospital, with that fricken tube down my throat, and fricken IV needle up my wrist. I hate needles...Even if I could turn my head right now, I wouldn't want to look at it. Worse yet, I can't begin to imagine my injuries. If I recall correctly, I remember falling on something very hard...the pain must have been excruciating. Thank goodness I barely remember that part. I just hope I'm not paralysed in any way...that would just...well that would just suck!
Right then, I noticed something warm and heavy on my bed. I attempted to tilt my head up so that I could see what it was, but I couldn't. I could, however, move my fingers on both hands. My left arm must have been broken, because it was folded towards my chest in a cast. My right hand, however, felt very tight and moving the fingers hurt a bit. Pushing the pain aside, I moved my fingers towards the heated, heavy area on the bed and felt hair. Thick, oily, long hair. It was sticking up all over apparently too. By now, my vision had cleared and I could see a mass of brown in my lower peripheral vision.
Tai? TAI? Tai's here! Tai...oh Tai...Dammit! If only I could speak. I tried to tug on his hair, but it hurt so badly to move my arm. I tried anyways, pushing the pain aside. Come on Tai, wake up!
I saw him stir, moaning softly. Yes Tai! Wake up! My heart rate increased as I heard the heart monitor beeping much faster than before. He grasped my hand with his left and looked up. Tai was in awe. He moved towards me, mouth gaping and eyes wide.
"Yama! You're-You're awake! Oh Yama..." he sighed. He moved to hug me, but hesitated. I looked at him confused and he just smiled.
"You're pretty banged up...hugging you probably isn't the best idea." He moved towards me again, hand gently caressing my hair, and softly planted a kiss on my cheek. Then another...and another few more. Damn, maybe falling off that balcony wasn't such a bad idea! I managed to tilt my head and was struck by intense pain. "Ughhhh!" Ok, maybe it was a bad idea!
"Oh, don't move Yama! You're neck was fractured...You were in one hell of an accident! Hang on, let me get the nurse!" Tai left the room in a rush, calling for a nurse. Moments later, the nurse, as well as TK, came rushing into the room. Wow! TK was here! Boy, was he a sight for sore eyes. Literally, my eyes were starting to hurt...
XXX A FEW DAYS LATER...XXX
So I finally had the tubes and needles out of me, but the neck brace, left arm and right leg casts, and bandages on the remaining limbs still remained. Apparently, I was out cold for about a week! It still hurt to move my non-fractured/broken limbs, but I was able to speak somewhat clearly. I was told that I was lucky enough to be alive from that fall. Apparently I fell onto a parked Mercedes, leaving the car to be a near total write-off. I was also fortunate to not have any permanent disabilities, and that I would be able to get therapy in a couple months, and thus walk and move around again.
I was also finally able to go home! And by the way, Tai and I were great again. No awkwardness whatsoever. Though, that may have been due to the fact that I was relying heavily on painkiller medication and sleeping most of the time. My father...hadn't come to visit me, nor had he called me during my stay in the hospital. The staff said that he was informed, but...
Well then again, my father and I have always had a bit of a rocky relationship so it's not too surprising that he hadn't come to see me. He's actually one of the main reason's I'm living so far away from home...but that's a story for another time.
So Tai and I finally headed home, with me in a wheelchair.
XXXXX
We were at home at last, in the kitchen area where Tai was warming up some left over food his mother brought over. When my accident occurred, the whole Yagami family learned about it as well. I was what you would call...a second son to them. Tai told me that his mother had come to visit me, but I had been sleeping during her visit.
"Man, you must feel great to finally be out of that hospital huh?" Tai joked. "I know you hate those places...I do too, those doctors and their scalpels scare me..."
I smiled at Tai's similar fear of hospitals. It must have been torture for him to be waiting to see if I would even wake up, much less torture to just be in a hospital. It hit me then that Tai still did not know my true feelings. Would now be a good time to tell him? It is a bit awkward to speak with a neck-brace on and after just leaving the hospital, so confessing now seems like it would be a bit out of place. Besides, chances are likely that he doesn't feel the same, and in confessing, I may make things very awkward, especially considering that I'll be nearly completely dependent on him!
Wait a second...how am I going to take a shower? Or worse yet...use the bathroom!
"Yama? Is everything ok? You seem...out of it? I would think you'd be thrilled right now! Well...maybe not thrilled, but you know...at least a bit excited. Show some life, would ya!" Tai exclaimed, with that joyful grin plastered on his face. His face stood merely a few inches from mine and I swear my heart skipped a beat. Could I really put this confession off? I was so prepared to tell him that night...never mind the fact that things weren't awkward anymore. Never mind the possibility that he wouldn't return my love for him. I wanted him to know how I felt!
"Tai...um..." I began, "Uh..." I hesitated, unsure of what to say.
"Mhmm, I know..." Tai answered, his back to me. "You're hungry for some real food! And I know Mom's cooking isn't the best, but you gotta admit, anything's better than liquid food served through a tube! You must have had some serious diarrhoea from that stuff, I mean it must have been all smooshy and-"
"Tai!" I cried out as loud as I could. It kind of hurt to speak that loud.
"Oh right! Sorry Yama! Ok, so I guess I'll have to feed you, you're right arm is still a bit weak right?" Tai pulled a chair up to me and began feeding me some curry noodles. "We have some rotisserie chicken that I bought yesterday too. You want some water?" Tai brought the glass up to my lips carefully. He was being so gentle, so kind. I missed this so much, this softer side to Tai.
After eating, the next thought that came to mind was showering. I really did want a nice clean bath, but...how the heck was that going to work? I figured...it didn't hurt to ask. It was going to come up eventually. "Tai? Uh...we're going to have a bit of a situation here..."
"What's the matter, Yama?" Tai asked, pushing my chair out of the kitchen.
"How am I going to take a bath or shower?" I asked. Tai looked at me, then at the bathroom, then took a deep breath.
"Yeah...I'll have to help you for sure," was Tai's simple reply. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."
"And, if I have to use the bathroom...I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be able to move my right arm a bit, so I should be good on my own then, but for now..." This part really worried me. Tai is my best friend, and though I trust him with my life, this is just one thing that I'd rather...deal with myself.
"Uh...heh." Tai let out a small laugh and looked at me knowingly. "Don't worry, we're both men so...I'll just wear rubber gloves or something." Tai suddenly started laughing loudly. Apparently I looked about as sick as I felt just then. "Oh man, Yama, relax! Look, it'll be ok. Do you have to go now?"
"Oh, God no. Thank God." I sighed in relief, closing my eyes.
"How about a bath?" he asked.
"Yeah, sure, mind as well get it over with. I refused a bath from the moment I woke up, the old nurse just looked plain scary…" Tai laughed at the sour expression on my face, and soon he was filling the tub with water. As the water poured in the tub, he helped me take my sweater off, which was quite painful to do since practically any movement of my right arm, which was inside the arm hole of the sweater, hurt. Soon, I was sitting in my chair completely naked, minus the casts and bandages.
"I'm gonna get something to cover up those casts so they don't get wet." Tai left the room and came back with a few plastic bags and rubber bands.
"Plastic bags?" I looked him incredulously.
"What? Remember that time when we were kids and I broke my leg? This is what I had to do to keep the cast from getting wet in the tub!" Tai exclaimed with a cheeky grin.
"Didn't the hospital give you anything better to use?" I asked. He shook his head. Ahh, hospitals these days...
He then began to tie them around the limbs with casts. Then, he proceeded to take his clothes off, revealing his incredibly toned body. He kept his boxer briefs on, but that was fine with me! I had almost forgotten how attractive he was, and after my recent revelation, I wanted him now more than ever. My cheeks began to grow hot and suddenly, the room became warmer. Well then again, the warm air probably came from the hot water in the tub, but anyways...
Tai picked me up in his arms and carried me into the tub, bridal style. "Ok, put your legs up there," Tai instructed," and put your arm over the edge here so it doesn't get wet. I did as he told, and soon I was sitting in his lap. "Ok...Here we go!" Tai said stupidly. He was obviously very nervous right now. Heck, I was! He proceeded to rub my body down with a clean washcloth we had on hand, wetting it in the water. He was obviously avoiding my nether regions and though I couldn't turn my face to his, I could have sworn he was blushing at least as much as I was. He moved his hand slowly over my stomach, thighs, and back.
Did he have any idea how turned on I was getting? I really had to keep my cool, because since I'm a guy...well it's not very difficult to tell if a guy is turned on, if you catch my drift. Especially when that man is naked!
Then came the soaping part...Oh boy.
You know what makes being washed by your attractive best friend who's practically naked in a bathtub with you even more awkward? When the only sound is that of the water in the tub being moved around and when that same best friend has to apply the soap using his own hands since there's no loofah (and using a wash cloth isn't as practical).
Tai looked at me expectantly with the bar of soap in his hands. "I hope you don't mind me using my hands." I could only imagine the expression on his face as he said that. We both began to laugh.
So Tai began to rub the soap onto my stomach, massaging it softly since my ribs had been a bit bruised from my fall and still hurt a bit. His hands glided to the bare parts of my arms and soon after my legs. As his hands kneaded my thighs, I fought the sexual sensations desperately. His hands glided up my thighs, touching a sweet spot. I bit my lip hard and manage not to buck. I could feel my shaft on the verge of hardening. Dammit, I have to restrain myself!
He moved his hands to my back, massaging my shoulders and lower back. I could feel his warm breathe on my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut and told myself to just breathe. The only places left to soap were my nether regions. It was getting more difficult to restrain my sexual urges. He really had no idea how much this was turning me on, did he!
He placed the bar of soap on the holder, and with his soapy hand, plunged it under the water to my frontal area and began to stroke my shaft. I accidentally let out a soft moan that I did not realize I had been suppressing. Tai's hand froze. Shit! Why did I do that! I bit my lip and decided to keep my chompers down until he was finished.
Without saying a word, he continued to stroke my area and then proceeded to lift each of my thighs with his other hand and wash my buttocks. Finally, he was finished. I managed to suppress an erection by thinking about farmers killing bunnies. Pleasant, no. Effective, yes!
And rinsing wasn't too difficult since we had a handheld showerhead.
XXXXX
After everything was done, we watched some television and then headed off to sleep. Tai had to brush my teeth for me and tuck me in. Yep, I was just like a baby! A talking baby, but a baby nonetheless! But hopefully by tomorrow, I'd be able to do a thing or two on my own.
Tai pulled the covers over me. "Goodnight, Yama. If you need me, no matter what it is, just yell out for me ok?"
"Yeah, I will. Thanks Tai, for everything. I'm...I'm really sorry for being such an idiot. I should have let you pull me off the balcony, but I...I was so stupid," I admitted to him guiltily.
Tai smiled at me and kissed me on the forehead. "I'm just glad that you're alive! I..." Tai looked as if he wanted to tell me something then, but looked away.
"What is it, Tai?" I asked.
"I..." Tai began, then sighed. "I wanted to tell you something that night, but you wouldn't let me," he smiled. "It's ok, don't worry about it. Look, I'm sorry too. I was acting like a jerk before the accident. It was...I just...I should have explained to you. I had a lot going through my head and..." He sighed. "Look the point is, my head's clear now. And yes, I know, you're probably a bit lost as to what the heck I'm talking about right now, but I assure you, everything's cool."
I smiled then. "Despite how confusing you're making it sound, I think I understand what you're saying," I assured him. "So everything's okay with us then? Thank goodness...But what did you want to tell me that night? I guess I can be a bit of a stubborn drunk eh? Heh."
"Yeah...you can be! What I had to say…It was nothing." Tai slapped his hand over his eyes and laughed "Ahh...Things are cool with us now, so there's no need to worry about that ok? Heh, just forget I said anything. Well, goodnight!" Tai gave me that cheeky grin of his and left the room in what seemed like a rush.
"Goodnight Tai," I called back to him.
He was lying, that's for sure. He wanted to tell me something that night, I wonder what it was. Maybe he's afraid to tell me. Things are good with us now, so it must be something that he fears will ruin the mood.
"Ahh well...whatever it is, he can tell me when he's ready. As for me, what am I going to do about this confession?" I moved my right arm to play with my hair, a natural habit I had to fulfill despite the pain I felt in my arm. I then noticed something hard underneath my pillow.
I reached under the pillow and my fingers brushed something that felt like a small book. It hurt like hell to grab the object, but I gritted my teeth and pulled it out. It was...a diary? It wasn't mine, so that must mean it's Tai's...I didn't know Tai kept a diary! I contemplated whether to give it to him right away, or read it and give it to him the next morning. "Oh...what to do?" I muttered to myself, already knowing the answer to the question.
Read it!
With some struggling and a bit of pain, I managed to sit up in the bed. I then reached for the lamp switch above my head and nearly cried from the pain. I couldn't turn it on, it hurt so much! "No...I have to read it! My curiosity must be satisfied! Therefore, I need to know what's in this book. No, I don't need to know, I MUST know! Come on Yamato! You can do this! No pain, no gain!" I reached up towards the lamp switch again, teeth clamped tightly, and successfully pushed the button. The light was on, and I was ready to read!
I skimmed through the first few pages, there wasn't anything that caught my interest, other than the fact that Tai named his diary, "Daisuke" and tended to use a lot of "msn" short forms. I was more interested in reading anything written within the past few weeks, right after that dream I had.
"Ahh...here it is!" It was an entry made the same night of my perverted dream.
Dear Daisuke,
I am really, really freaked out right now. I was in Yamato's room earlier this night and he was apparently having a dream. I only went in there to wake him up, I thought he was having a nightmare, I was just going to wake him up! And then what do I see when I get there? To even write it is hard enough...omg, hard. I can't write that word anymore, I need to use something else. Difficult! Yeah, that's a better word. He was having a sexual dream...and that's cool, like yeah, I can deal with that. But...a sexual dream about ME? JEEZ! That's just...that's just too much. We're guys for crying out loud! And yeah, I've always suspected he was more into men, but me? ME? Ahh...this is too weird. Ok, I need to calm down...Dear Daisuke, what do I do? Oh wait, I know...I'LL RUN AWAY FROM HIM! Yeah! that'll be the perfect plan. Ok, Phase 1 - avoid the target Ishida Yamato. Damn, this is gonna be hard...DIFFICULT. IT'LL BE DIFFICULT! Oh man, he was moaning too...ahh, he sounded so..so...ok Dear Daisuke, he sounded like a girl. Well no, not really, but kind of. I don't know. I...I...HE SOUNDED HOT! Ok, there. I said it. Now time for me to shut up, avoid him, and never EVER think about this again. Ok, goodnight Dear Daisuke.
I turned the book face down. "Okay then...he treats this diary like it's his old buddy or something. But wow...I didn't think hearing me moan would impact him so!" I started to laugh quietly. "Well I guess now I understand why he was avoiding me. If something freaks him out and he can't fight it, I guess his first instinct is to run from it!"
I read a few more pages and didn't read anything particularly interesting, other than an entry that stated "Phase 1 completed." Whatever Phase 2 was, he didn't state, which made me laugh some more. I then came to an entry dated the night of the accident. Though by the time written on the entry, it was written before the accident occurred. As I read it, something caught my eye. I gasped.
"Oh...my God...So this is what he wanted to tell me..."
A/N: Please Review! The story is almost done, by the way. Did you like the bathtub scene? Heh...I'm NO good at writing that stuff, but I said to myself...how can I write a bathtub and NOT include it? It just wouldn't be right! So I had to at least attempt it. Also, please forgive me if I'm horrible at verb tenses...it's my worst enemy.