A/N: Okay, this is my personal favorite chapter out of the entire story. I liked the last one as well, but it comes in second – this is my favorite. ;D See, I wrote this one in the very early planning stages, back when I had no idea where this story was going, and I knew I absolutely had to use this. So the first draft was done, and I was happy with it. Then, as the full plot line became defined, I realized that there would need to be some heavy editing. But, after all that, I still love this chapter. :P So here you go – read on and enjoy!

Songs to listen to with this chapter:

Lily – Open Your Eyes (LMNT) or This Time (Vanessa Carlton – only on YouTube) or Pretty Baby (Vanessa Carlton) or Breathe (Michelle Branch)

James – The Little Things (Colbie Caillat), Just the Girl (Click 5), or Hey Juliet (LMNT)

Lily

February 14th

Dear Diary,

I've been so preoccupied lately that I completely forgot that today was Valentine's Day. There is, of course, a reason why I prefer to forget about this holiday – I absolutely despise it.

What's the point of it, anyway? From what I've seen, all you do is go around bothering people, and giving them dusty candy and cheap flowers they only pretend to like. Girls usually shriek annoyingly all day, wear an unhealthy amount of pink, and flirt outrageously. Guys usually take advantage of that. Is that any reason to celebrate? Not particularly.

So today, when I went down to the Great Hall with Leila (who, unlike me, loves Valentine's Day and was chattering away about how wonderful it was), I had no expectations for the day. I was not going to get any boys trailing after me like in those cheesy romance novels. I was not going to get any presents because it wasn't a major holiday. I was not going to do anything worth writing about – that's what I had thought when I walked into the Great Hall this morning.

How wrong I was.

When I sat down with Leila, she began to eat, babbling about how she wanted to tell James that she loved him. I was barely listening; I simply nodded and said "Yes, of course" whenever she needed me to. That was one of the best things about Leila – you never had to pay close attention because she was never really talking to you; she was talking in general to calm her nerves. I rested my head on my hands, glum because I was bored, and I waited for Leila to finish her rant.

At last, she did, and she said, "I wrote a love letter to James that I'm going to give him today. Can you read it through?" She was breathless; vaguely, I was annoyed because of the effect he seemed to have on my best friend, but I forced a smile to my face.

"Sure." I reluctantly took the paper from her trembling hand, and read it through. When I was done, I handed it back to her; she had that expectant look on her face, but I gave her a noncommittal shrug.

"I suppose it's all right," I said. "But you signed it anonymously – shouldn't you have your name on it, so that he can actually find you and ask you out like you wanted?"

"No!" she objected. "It's so embarrassing! Let him figure it out. He can, too, because he's so damn clever…"

I rolled my eyes. "James Potter is the most arrogant ignoramus I've ever laid my eyes on; what do you see in him? For years, I have looked and found nothing of consequence?" I must admit though; what I was saying was an utter falsehood. I only said it because I knew that was what she wanted to hear me say, and it was just a habit – it would be hard to break, but it was still a habit. However, it did what it needed to do – it put Leila on avid rant mode.

"He's so incredibly good-looking," she gushed. "And he's talented, smart, hilarious, sensitive, sweet, and absolutely perfect. What do you see?"

What did I see? Well, maybe a watered-down version of what she saw, but I wasn't about to tell her that; instead, I lied through my teeth. "I see a vain, pig-headed, desperate, idiotic, cruel, and aggravating jerk," I said, hoping I sounded as strong as I normally did when I went on about how much I loathed him. "He thinks the world of himself, he's desperate to find a girl, he is a first-class idiot, he's so vindictive if he decides he doesn't like you, and he aggravates the living hell out of me." Had I really been able to talk about him like that with ease before? How strange. No, no, no!!! It's normal!!! What's wrong with me?!?!

"Oh, Lily," Leila sighed. "He thinks that you are the most incredible thing that's ever waltzed into his life; he told me to tell you that today. He also wishes you a happy Valentine's Day."

Though I was flattered (and rather pleased), I said sardonically, "How thoughtful; he even had his sentiment passed on by you rather than telling me himself."

"He had to get a special Valentine's Day gift for you; he didn't have time to tell you right now," Leila explained.

I rolled my eyes again. "Like I haven't heard that excuse before. Does he think I was born yesterday or something?"

Before Leila could answer though, we heard a huge, explosive noise behind us. We turned around to see James himself, riding in from the Entrance Hall on a huge cloud. It was a light, pastel pink, and had lots of mini fireworks exploding off the sides; it was the single most obnoxious thing I had ever seen in my life, regardless of the person sitting on it. Then, to my intense horror, he stopped the cloud right next to Leila and me, beaming. Leila squealed delightedly, but I was still frozen with repulsion.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Lily," he said cheerfully. "Hop on and I can give you a ride to each class all day."

I was sorely tempted to get on with him and whiz off, but at the same time, I had a reputation to think about and the cloud was beyond atrocious. I had to pick a course of action – and fast – so I picked the latter of the two options by asking, "Is this supposed to thrill me?"

"Well, yes," he said, smile fading ever so slightly. "I wanted to give you something different for Valentine's Day this year, rather than trying to kiss you like I usually do."

He did try to kiss me every year! Damn, why did he have to pick this year to be different? But I sighed, and I told him, "I appreciate the effort, but I wouldn't ride with you on that thing for a day even if you paid me fifty Galleons." I sort of liked him, but not enough to ride with him on something so hideous.

As if to try saving the situation, Leila came in front of me to block me from view unsuccessfully. "I'll come with you, James," she piped up, blushing.

"Are you sure it's a no then, Lily?" James asked, completely ignoring Leila as he looked over her shoulder to give me his pleading stare.

"Yes, of course I'm sure," I said, even though I wasn't. "Go take some other girl on your Valentine's Day ride from hell; I'm not going." Was it just me or did I sound really bitter?

James sighed, but rode off to locate Regina. I watched him give her a mock bow as he sat her down on the spot he had wanted me to fill, and something bubbled up in the pit of my stomach – something that frightened the crap out of me.

It was fiery; I couldn't understand why I wanted to rip Regina apart at that moment, other than the obvious reasons. She kissed him on the cheek, and then on his lips, and I thought I'd go deranged with anger. But then I stopped myself; why did I care? He was a pain in the arse that I faintly liked – he had left, and I should have been happy; so why wasn't I? I would only feel that way if I was in love with him, which I wasn't. It was utterly confusing, and not for the first time, my head began to hurt – I thought too much, but when I thought too little, I didn't like what I came up with.

Preoccupied with my overwrought brain, I followed Leila to History of Magic without eating anything. James zoomed by on his cloud with that vile Regina on his back, literally hanging on his neck, and both of them were laughing. I wanted to cry; it bothered me so incredibly much, even though it shouldn't matter at all. I almost wanted to cry out of shame; what was going on in my head was beyond all rationality, and I felt like a freak for housing those thoughts.

I wasn't the only one annoyed with Regina though – when Leila saw the two of them together, she called Regina a name I won't even write down. "Why can't she get her filthy claws off of him?" she asked me angrily. "She's about as sweet as a vampire and about as gentle as one too."

"I know," I said. "I don't know what he sees in her." I honestly didn't – she was the biggest bitch in England, and James had to pick her.

"I hate her," Leila proclaimed. "I bet she doesn't even like James; she's just trying to take him away from the people who truly love him, since she likes to mess with people's heads."

She was doing a good job on mine then; that was for sure. "I guess," I said, at a loss for any other response.

"I guess!" she exploded. "How can that be all you want to say?! She's a right bitch – a shitty, arsehole bitch – and you can just say 'I guess'?!"

I shrugged. "You know what I think – I'm just tired. I hardly slept last night." That was true – I'd had a lot of homework to catch up with, since I was being so flippant about finishing it before.

"Oh, okay," she said. "But you should have gone with James; he would have liked it."

"Of course he would have," I said. "But I wasn't sure about how I would feel, which is why I didn't go."

"Take a chance, live a dream," she suggested dreamily.

"No and never," I answered.

Leila smacked my shoulder playfully. "Silly girl! Come on, it's Valentine's Day. Flirt a bit. Let your hair down. Laugh. Love. Live." She even made to open my hair from its usual ponytail, but I didn't let her.

"No way," I said. "I'm not flirting. I'm done with guys; they're not worth my trouble."

"So you're saying if Remus tried to kiss you today, you wouldn't let him?" she asked me skeptically.

"No," I said. "I said I'm done flirting myself – if they flirt with me, then it's a different story. But Remus wouldn't kiss me – we're done."

"Oh yeah," she said. "It's not like you could tell him to kiss you, is it?"

Suddenly, however, I was hit with a brainwave; I had four coupons sitting upstairs on my dresser that could make those four boys do anything I wanted! I would kiss Remus with one of them as a Valentine's Day present for myself. Yes, yes, yes; excellent!

"Actually, I can, Leils," I said happily. "I have four coupons from James that he gave me on my birthday – I can make them do any one thing I want, kissing including."

"Fantastic!" Leila high-fived me, pleased on my behalf. "Go get him, Lils."

"I shall." Satisfied, I tore up to my dormitory as fast as my legs would let me go. Strangely though, my legs were almost spindly; it was harder to hold myself with them. Yet it couldn't be right – my legs were fatter than ever. Whatever. I needed my coupons; not to worry about my legs.

There they were – sitting on my dresser, waiting for me. I took them eagerly, hugging them to my chest. I could have Remus for just a few seconds – maybe minutes –and that made them gold in my book. The paper smelled amazingly sweet; I adored the scent. I held the coupons to my nose, inhaling the aroma – I could never have enough of it. When it was away from my nose, I craved it. When it was there, it was better than any perfume that could be manufactured. I'd have to find out who/what had this scent.

I bounded down the stairs and into the corridor, eager to find Remus (who was finally over his mysterious illness), but instead, I bumped into Severus Snape. "I'm sorry," I said, rushed and breathless. "I didn't see you."

"It's okay – I was looking for you anyway," he said. Then he handed me a single white lily, blushing a slight pink, and told me, "There is the lily and the rose in her fair face striving for precedence; the lily shall always win, in my book."

I smiled awkwardly as I accepted his flower. "Thank you, Severus."

He smiled lightly. "No problem. Happy Valentine's Day, Lil."

I smiled back at him and watched him go while stroking the flower he gave me; it was quite pretty, and though it was from Snape, who made me nervous sometimes, I liked it very much. I doubled back to my dormitory to put it away, but I went straight back down the corridor to find Remus; he would be on his way out of the Great Hall by that time. And, sure enough, there he was, looking bemused like he always did in the morning.

"Remus, can I have a word?" I asked.

He nodded, seemingly glad to see me. "Of course."

We walked together to the common room, which was empty, and we sat on the sofa. I took a deep breath and looked at him, and he simply looked back.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I said lamely.

"Same to you," he said. "I have something for you – I was going to give it to you during lunch."

I hadn't been expecting that. "Really? You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to." Remus smiled at me and gave me a small box of Valentine's Day chocolates from Honeydukes. "It's cliché, I know, but I didn't know what else to give you."

"Let me tell you what I want," I said, holding out one of my coupons. "Remus, I want you to kiss me, and you have to do it, because James gave me no limitations on these coupons."

Remus turned quite pink. "Lils, I don't know…"

"It's my birthday and Valentine's Day present," I pressed. "You can't say no. Just one kiss; that's all I want. I won't ever do this to you again."

His gray eyes grew rather misty. "Lily, I don't think that's possible."

"Why not?" I asked. "Tell me why not. I'm not going to burst into tears on you again; I can handle it."

He sighed heavily and said, "James wouldn't like it."

"James gave me these coupons himself, and if he didn't want me to kiss you, he would have kept that as a limitation," I said. "He obviously doesn't care."

"It's not just that, it's…" his voice trailed off as he tried to phrase his thoughts correctly. "Lily, we're not right for each other."

"I don't care," I said stubbornly. I thrust the coupon into his hands, and I looked into his eyes – those told me so much more than his words did. They told me that he wanted it just as much as I did, which was exactly what I wanted to know. Inspired, I very gently pressed my lips against his, committing every moment to my memory. But he surprised me; he kissed me back, but much harder than I had expected. I didn't care; I wanted him, and whatever he gave me, I would take.

Before, we had stopped ourselves from going too far because we were too confused about the other to do what we wanted. This time was not the same way – this time, we went as far as we needed to. For the first time, Remus's hands were purposefully on my waist, and my arms were around his neck; it felt nicer than anything I had ever felt. We kissed for what felt like an eternity (an eternity I didn't mind living out) before he pulled away from me, and looked me in the eye. I didn't back down like I would have before – I looked right back.

"I think I'm ready to just be your friend now," I said, smiling slightly.

"Thank you," he said. "Happy birthday, and happy Valentine's Day, as well."

"You're welcome," I answered. "And thank you for both the kiss and the chocolate."

His smile was big and sincere. "No problem."

I gave a small giggle. "I'm never, ever going to get over you."

He shrugged. "It's okay. But no matter what, we're never going to be more than this, all right?"

"I know, I know," I said. "I still think you're being ridiculous, but you know better than I do. Just take a chance one day, Remus; you're a lovely person, and I know that there's a girl out there for you."

"Trust me, there isn't," he muttered.

"There is," I insisted. "You may tell her what you're telling me right now – that you're not right and whatever – but I want you to please marry her away because you know you love her, whoever she may be. Even if she's related to Sirius, which, of course, would dock points, especially in my book. Can you do that? For me?"

Remus sighed, but there was a small grin on his face. "I can try, Lily."

"That's all I ask." I smiled at him, and I left the common room, feeling cleansed. I hadn't fallen apart. I was all right – better than ever. I had kissed the boy I used to love, and I made him promise to please get his head together and get married when he knew the time was right. He gave me chocolate, which I liked. But most of all, I felt like he had set me free. The weight that had been holding me to the ground had mysteriously vanished, and I felt like I could float away and fly. I was over him at last, and I could move on with my life. No more wallowing, no more hiding; I was going to live with my arms wide open, embracing life and whatever came to me next. I wasn't perfectly healed, but I had taken the pieces that he had broken earlier and I had rearranged them in a different way – a less frail way. I was all right. I was going to be fine.

I found Leila, and together, we began to babble about something or another – I don't even remember what it was, because it wasn't important. I was strangely fond of everyone – especially Leila, who managed to stick things out with me – and silly girlish banter felt just right, when other times, it was just annoying. Life had never been better.

I saw James and Regina again later, but this time, it didn't bother me. This time, I simply surveyed them with a smile on my face, and then turned back to Leila to finish what I was saying, or finish listening to what she had been telling me. We were all right by ourselves; we didn't need to think about James.

But just because we didn't need to think about James, doesn't mean that we didn't think about him anyway.

When I was this liberated – when the world was this crystal clear – everything was beautiful, but James was more beautiful in my eyes. He seemed to sparkle, and his face haunted my thoughts throughout the day. I couldn't get rid of him. Since he was away from me and not trying to flirt, I felt unusually fond of him. My head began to come back down to earth, and I began to worry; was I in love with him? Was that why he seemed to occupy my mind the way he was?

After I was done with everything for the day, I went to my dormitory; I had to think. Leila was off to flirt with James, like the rest of the girls were, which gave me some alone time. I lay on my bed, closed my eyes, and allowed my mind to wander. It went to James, of course. My heart pounded harder than it normally did, and my stomach was so twisted, I was afraid of vomiting. There had to be something wrong.

Since I couldn't think of anything else, I tried out Leila's theory of loving James. What was my definition of love?

That was easy – adoring someone.

Did I adore James?

Yes. Yes, I did. I discovered that I did.

What else came with love?

Thinking about him, of course.

Did I think about James?

Hell yes, I did. More than I should.

Hmm…love to me was also wanting to be with him all the time.

Did I want to be with James all the time?

True, honest answer. 'Come on, Lily,' I tried to coax myself. 'Just answer the question.'

I sighed and I realized that yes, I did want to be with him all the time.

All of my expectations had been agreed with. Everything I had associated with love through the years had been answered in the form of James Potter.

Holy shit, this meant I was in love with James Potter.

I was breathless; so many emotions hit me as the truth began to process. I was in love. I was in love, I was in love, I was in love; I loved him so, so much. How long had I loved him? Oh, too long. Ever since I laid eyes on him, my stomach had misbehaved constantly. When he looked at me, when he talked to me, when he had touched me…if it had been anyone else, I would have seen the symptoms right away, but of course, it was me that was suffering – I would have a hard time seeing it, and an even harder time believing it. But it was true – I loved him.

Oh my goodness, I was in love with him. I just couldn't believe that.

I tried to regain my breathing; what would I do now? I knew that I loved him, but I wasn't sure what I would do about it. Would I tell him? No, no, no; I would never tell him right now. I might not tell him at all. I needed some time to get used to the idea that I was in love with James, the person I was supposed to hate more than anyone in the world, before I could tell anybody, even Leila.

None of this made any sense. I was supposed to hate him, like I said, but somehow, I can't hate him anymore. I feel something so much stronger, and now I've figured out that it's love. I guess I loved him so much subconsciously that I began to hate him for stealing my affections, and now, the reality has come out, leaving me exposed and raw. This is so screwed up, but so fantastic at the same time – I'm in love! I never thought the day would come, but here it is; Valentine's Day.

I have hit that pivotal, unavoidable fact at last diary; I do love him, just like everybody said. I can't write anymore though; I really can't. I need to go and bang my head against the wall a few hundred times and figure out why in the name of Merlin I'm officially in love with James Potter.

James

February 14th

Dear Diary,

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well, it wasn't as happy for me (guess why), but somehow, it was still a very interesting day. Any day where I talk to the unpredictable Lily Evans is an interesting day for me, really, but let me just write everything down, and maybe it will show how moody Miss Evans truly is.

This morning though, when I woke up (early – at seven), Sirius was putting gel in his hair – something he usually didn't do. I approached him cautiously, unsure of how to feel about such an action.

"Padfoot, why are you putting that crap on your head?" I inquired.

"Because it's Valentine's Day," Sirius told me. "I needed a present for Kyleigh, but I didn't know what to get her; so I decided on a night in bed."

"What does that have to with your hair?" I asked, very close to laughter.

"I have to look sexy to get her in the mood, don't I, Prongsie?" Sirius snorted and smacked the side of my head. "Get with it."

"I see," I said, smirking. "But speaking of Valentine's Day presents, I need to run; might have reached the Entrance Hall already."

"What is it?" Sirius looked interestedly up at me from beneath his overhanging hair.

"It's this little cloud," I explained. "Built for two; I want to take Lily on it all day."

Sirius snorted again and continued with his gel. "Mate, you're dreaming – you'd be better off taking Master Bitch with you instead."

"I'll end up doing that anyway, I reckon, but I still need to try asking Lily," I said. "I think I'm close to making her fall in love with me, Pads."

"Oh yes; as close as Snivelly is to a bar of soap," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"Stop it," I said crossly. "I really think I'm getting to a breakthrough here – finally."

"Of course you are, of course you are," Sirius said, grinning as he admired the effect of his hair in the mirror. I threw a small pillow at him before walking out of the room; I had a delivery to check on, and I did not need Sirius's negativity.

On my way out of the common room, however, I bumped into Leila. She giggled when she saw me, and said, "Happy Valentine's Day, James."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Leila," I said hurriedly. I then got a sudden stroke of inspiration and requested, "Hey, can you tell Lily that she is the most incredible thing in the world, and Happy Valentine's Day for me? I may not see her; I have to pick up her present from the Entrance Hall – it should be here."

"Sure," she said, surprised at my rush. "I'll let her know."

"Thanks," I called out to her as I ran out to the Entrance Hall. When I got there, I found that I had been right – my cloud was there and waiting for me. I paid the owl that had brought it and took the box back to the dormitory. Sirius was gone – to eat an early breakfast, probably – so I began to operate the cloud in peace. It was about an hour before I had everything read to go, and I prepared myself in the Entrance Hall; this had to go just right, otherwise everything would be ruined.

With a deep breath, I rode into the Great Hall, making a great deal of noise as I came through. I went straight for Lily, who, of course was with Leila, utterly thunderstruck. It was quite entertaining; people clapped for me – several girls squealed – and the one I was doing it all for was looking at me as though I had amputated my arms off.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Lily!" I chirped. "C'mon; get on with me and I can take you around to every class." I really wanted – check that, needed – her to say yes, but I knew from the look on her face that I would get no such luck.

"Is that supposed to thrill me?" She sounded oddly forced, but pissed nonetheless – not good. I couldn't let my sorrow show though; I tried to hold my ground.

"Well, yes; I wanted to give you something different for Valentine's Day this year, and I chose this," I clarified. Even as I said this, I knew it was no use; Lily would never like what I did for her. It was a fact of life, but it hurt more than I could ever say each day, when it continued to hold true.

"I appreciate the effort, but I wouldn't ride with you on that thing for a day even if you paid me fifty Galleons," she continued, oblivious to the internal agony flooding through me. I tried my hardest not to let it show though – when it was nearly impossible, however, Leila stepped in, and I was almost grateful for it. That is, until she said, "I'll come with you, James."

Deciding that I would rather take the pain from Lily than the strangeness from Leila, I ignored her and nearly begged, "Are you sure it's a no then, Lily?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure," Lily said. "Go take some other girl on your Valentine's Day ride from hell; I'm not interested."

There it was – the heartbreak dish of the day, served with a dash of coolness, a delicate helping of nastiness, sprinkled with loathing, and mixed until frothy. Before she could see how I took this, I sighed and went off to Regina. She looked at me with delight when she saw me, her eyes alight.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I said in a falsely cheery voice.

"Oh Jamesie, you shouldn't have!" she squealed, throwing her arms up in the air with joy.

I gave her a fake bow and allowed her to sit with me, knowing, with a heavy heart, what I condemning myself to.

She kissed me twice – once on my cheek, once on my lips – and I wanted to explode with the horridness of it all, though I couldn't; people were watching. And, to my very great displeasure, people were watching all day; I had to put up with Regina for all of it. What a thrill.

"See James, you are capable of being a good boyfriend," she told me later that afternoon, giving me a toothy smile. "And I did see you try to kiss up to that Evans girl in the morning; I'm going to take this opportunity to ask you nicely to give her up."

"Then I will take this opportunity to tell you nicely that there's no way in hell I'm going to do that," I said amiably.

"You're my boyfriend, James Potter – you will never be hers, so you might as swell get the illusion out of your head that you will be," Regina breathed, her tone icy. "You have everything set for you – popularity, brain, talent, looks, as well as a hot girlfriend – so why do you try to ruin it?"

What she was saying became the dessert to Lily's platter – the insult to the injury, if you will; her words cut me, but I went on smiling for the people around me.

"Gina, I don't give a damn about what you say," I said. "I love Lily Evans, and sooner or later, she will love me back." 'Please be sooner,' I found myself hoping.

"She won't," Regina whispered maliciously. "Lily hates you – always has and always will. Let her go."

We dropped the subject after that, even though I had no intention of letting Lily go. I let Regina ride with me for the remainder of the classes, dropped her off by the girl's dormitory, and joined Sirius, Peter, and Remus by the sofas in the common room.

"What a day," I said, collapsing on the chair by the fire.

"I know," Sirius said, tossing some chocolate roses at Peter and Remus. "I got so many of these roses, I have to split some with you guys." He gestured at Peter, who was gobbling them down like a wolf, and at Remus, who was nibbling sedately at one.

"Toss me a couple," I said, taking the few he threw at me. "Ugh, that Regina…how I hate her."

"Same," Sirius said, making a face. "Yuck; she's the one girl in our year I'd never date in our year. I could even stand Evans over her."

I ignored the slight about Lily, but said, "That's what I think too; I desperately want to throw her to the Giant Squid most days."

"Even the Giant Squid wouldn't be able to stomach her," said Peter, shuddering.

"Ha, yeah," said Sirius, laughing. But then he stared back at Peter, startled. "Wait, Peter was right."

"Yeah, so?" Peter looked rather offended.

"You're almost never right," Sirius said in wonderment. "Wow! Had to happen some time, eh?"

Peter smirked. "I guess."

"You three," Remus interrupted disapprovingly, taking a bite of chocolate. "Not nice; not nice at all"

"Hey, you can't possibly stand up for her," I objected. "She's put me through hell today! It's horrid! And she won't even let me break it off, so I'm stuck." I took a sullen bit of chocolate to try to soothe my nerves.

"I suppose, but I am referring to the remarks themselves," Remus said. "Regina is a horrible girl, I agree, but I don't think you should say things like that."

"Stop being all goody-good two-shoes on us," Sirius complained. "It's so damn annoying."

"I hate Regina no matter what you say, Moony," Peter told him.

"And what has she done to you?" Remus inquired.

"Erm…well…she annoyed my friends," Peter stuttered.

Remus looked rather satisfied that he had been right, but Sirius stepped in. "Shut it, Moony; he's seen sense – why must you spoil it?"

He rolled his eyes, but turned to me. "How's Lily doing?" He sounded worried; I couldn't imagine why.

"She's sarcastic, and anti-Marauders, as always," I said gloomily. "What, did you expect anything different?"

"Is she still feeling all right?"

"I reckon so – why?" Remus never asked me questions like this so urgently; what had happened? "Oh, and speaking of Evans, I feel I must ask – did you make another move on her today even though you're supposedly done with her?"

"No," Remus snapped.

"It's not the full moon yet, Moony; save the bites until then," Sirius said, grinning.

"Sorry," Remus muttered.

"Ah, it's no big deal," I said, even though it was.

"Right, well, I have work to do – see you later." Remus grabbed his chocolate rose and walked upstairs a little too fast. Sirius exhaled irately, looking quite exasperated.

"That boy…he needs a life," Sirius announced.

"How do you plan to give him one?" asked Peter.

"I dunno – give me a few days," Sirius said.

"Oh no," I groaned, making a face as a few giggling girls came downstairs. "I have a feeling they left me Valentine's Day related crap upstairs – it happened last year too. I'm going to go see what they did."

"Bye Prongs," Peter called as I took the stairs four at a time. I ignored him and ran to my bed, where, sure enough, a pile of candy and cards awaited me. I sighed and sifted through them, keeping the good stuff and throwing away what I didn't want. Then, I took out this stupid book, and now here I am, writing about what had just happened.

There's nothing to say, really, nothing to think – Regina might have been right for the first time in her life. I don't know if Lily will ever fall in love with me. Her antics today proved it. I won't ever give up on her – it's much easier to keep going than give her up, as I've discovered earlier this year – but I'm just…discouraged. She's the only thing in the world I want, and it's not just because she's the only thing in that world I can't have – it's because she's her. She's Lily – she's the girl that I teased through first year, the girl I tried to kiss five hundred times, the girl I first fell in love with, and the girl who I plan to marry some day. She's beautiful, she's funny, she's clever, she's sarcastic; she's everything I've ever wanted in a girl. She's horrible and mean, yes, but she's just the girl I've looked for my whole life.

It sounds childish and rather desperate, but I want to know – will Lily Evans ever really love me?

A/N: Now that you have read this chapter, you are obligated to review because LILY'S OFFICIALLY IN LOVE!! Woot! Now click the grey button and make my day, would you:)

Side note: Snape's remark on the lily and the rose is a slightly edited version of the quote from Nathaniel Parker Willis; I found it on brainyquote's website; I'd better give him credit for that. :P