A/N: Yeah, I'm fully aware that the last chapter didn't have much in it. If you reviewed, I told you why. But unfortunately, this is another one of those kinds of chapters, as the chapter suggests. It's the last of it's kind – I promise. :P It's just that you need some fairly pointless chapters – I usually rush through all my stories, and I just don't want to do that with this one. It's gradual – I'm trying my hardest to make it as real as I can. That means there will be some slow lag time because real life doesn't always give you what you want right away. However, the next chapter has more action-ish stuff in it, so hang tight! Haha, lol, I'm done now. I hope you like this one though!

Side note: Soulmate, by Natasha Bedingfield, is not only my favorite song right now, but it was the fuel and inspiration for Lily's entry. :) Private Radio, by Vanessa Carlton, was a cute song I listened to with James's entry – it doesn't fit, but it makes me think 'fun,' which James had a lot of. :P

Lily

March 19th

Dear Diary,

Love is a very strange thing.

Why? Because it leaves you so vulnerable; it's as if the lightest word from him could make you or break you. I think of it as one of those Muggle game shows; the higher you go, the better you feel, but the easier it is to fall apart. I'm at the highest stake ever, and I feel like I'm going to fall at any given second. That's not the worst part though – the real hell of it is that no one can know about it – not even Leila, my beloved confident and best friend. I can't tell anyone about this because if people knew, all anyone would say to me is how they told me that we were the perfect couple, and how they had known all along that I loved him. I don't want that; no one knows how I have been feeling lately, and I don't want them judging me on something so fragile and raw without all the background information (which, of course, I'm never going to give them). It's simply not done.

I've been lying in bed all day today, listening to the rain. We had today, Friday, off from classes, but no one could do anything outdoors because of the storm going on around us. James has been complaining at the top of his voice about how he really wanted to play Quidditch today, but couldn't because no one was in the mood to brave the winds, and he wasn't the only one who was voicing negative thoughts on the matter; many people had wanted to lounge about in the sunshine on their day off, but none of us could. I don't know what they're so upset about; I like the rain better than the shine sometimes.

The weather going on outside is actually a very accurate version of my mood at the moment. It's dark, but it's not too heavy; you can see a little bit of light struggling through the numerous, intense clouds. The rain is falling in such a comforting style; the pitter pat of the water pelting on the roof seems to promise that life will go on, despite of all my emotions – that's comforting, because I have often felt like the world is going to end and I'm never going to be okay. There's thunder, true enough, but it sounds more like an achy moan of despair; it sounded exactly like the sort of noise I would make if I was able to. I enjoy storms; people are always talking about how they are terrible, disruptive, and noisy, but in actuality, they aren't. They make lovely moods for writing, that's for sure, but they also just wring your soul in such a powerful way, if you let them. Thoughts that wouldn't come to you otherwise seem to flow through the passages of your mind, allowing you to realize truths that you may not have necessarily realized before. Rain is an incredible thing, and can do unbelievable things to our feeble human minds, yet no one can grasp this when it comes around. Mundanity is a dreadful problem.

Love. It's such a stupid thing; why do we have to care so much? Why are we capable of giving ourselves away so easily? I don't want to love anyone; I want to be complete within myself so that I don't have to rely on someone that will most likely turn out to be a bad candidate. And, if I do have to love someone, why can't he just bloody come to me and find me? Why can't I feel the electric spark right away? It would make life so much easier. There wouldn't be so much pain that way. We all have a soul-mate, so why am I the only one who hasn't found hers yet? I know I'm probably not, but it feels like I am; I just want to find him and be done with it, but he's nowhere to be found. I do love James, but there's no way he'd be my soul-mate – we're too different, and my love for him is almost fickle because I doubt it even though I know it's there.

But, right now, the question on my mind is about love, as you have probably already figured out. Let's try a little question and answer session, shall we? This may seem strange, but it's only an experiment; I have never done this before.

What is love?

According to Muggle dictionaries, love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. According to me, it's the feeling that they give you to punish you for the most felonious crime you have ever committed. I'm not sure what mine was, but I'm being punished anyway.

Why do you think you feel love?

To be punished in the most sound, thorough fashion you can think of.

Is love a good thing?

In my experiences, it most definitely is not.

Why is love a bad thing?

You give yourself away to someone who can easily break you without looking back. Instinct always tells you that this person feels the same way you do, and that it's okay to give your heart and soul to them in entirety, but instinct is wrong. Love is a Muggle roller coaster ride; exhilarating at first, but then you just feel sick to your stomach at the end. I'm not getting in line for this one.

Who are you in love with?

James Bloody Potter.

Really?

Unfortunately, yes.

See? Love isn't such a bad thing! Is he a sweet person?

If you ask Leila, she will say he most definitely is. If you ask me though, I say he is the most loathsome cockroach to walk this planet because he's shattered the guard I've worked so hard to put up and keep up. If that isn't a reason to hate him, then I don't know what is.

If you hate him, why do you love him?

If I knew, I would have tried to nip it in the bud long ago.

I don't get it. What are you trying to say?

I don't even know.

This is utterly stupid! You're not even dating James, and you're already worried about him breaking your heart. Give him a chance!

I'm not going to do that. End of story.

What if he's The One? What if you're going to miss out just because you're bloody afraid?

That's a chance I'm willing to take.

This question and answer thing is completely stupid because not only are you talking to yourself, you're making no sense and you're not cooperating.

All right; I think it's time to stop as well.

So that was completely stupid, and it didn't work at all. Great; now I'm stuck in here, restless as anything because I'm dying to throw James on the ground and snog him until tomorrow morning, and I can't do anything about it but write. Writing is a great help, don't get me wrong, but it's just that I want action. I want things to happen – writing about them isn't good enough for me anymore. I just can't make myself do what I want though; I'm too cowardly for that. I don't know anymore; it's all so screwed up, tiresome, and exhausting. I just want one thing and I want to be done with it all, but I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't; I hate that more than I've ever hated Regina, Chris, Sirius, or anyone.

I think it's time to go upstairs, scream for a little while, then fall on my bed and wait for night to fall, sleep to come, and reality to turn into something I actually want.

James

March 19th

Dear Diary,

Today, it rained.

I hate rain; it's so aggravating – you can't play Quidditch and you can't swim in the lake like you can in the sunshine. I don't understand how you could possibly like it – it bores me to death, personally. It's just water falling from the sky; how is that anything to celebrate?

So, while it rained, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and I sat in the library together, armed with an array of butterbeer we had Peter steal from Honeydukes, and looked through musty books for spells we could use. Remus brought slips of parchment to mark all of his pages in each book, which I found completely stupid, but hey – Remus is Remus, and you're better off just agreeing, because he's almost always right.

Sirius and Peter are really into the whole 'drawing out a map of the school with all our superior knowledge' deal – they love it. Peter is more of a hindrance than a help, true, but he has an uncanny knack for getting distances down accurately and drawing straight lines – something Sirius has not been able to do yet, which doesn't make him happy. They work well – after today, we had the rough skeleton of every floor drawn out, and Sirius wants to do the littler details on his own time later. Quite frankly, I'm just surprised that he cares enough to offer – normally, he doesn't even do that.

"I've found an extremely interesting spell, you three, come here," Remus said, gesturing for our attention.

"What is it?" Peter asked interestedly, trying to sneak a peek at the book.

"We can give everybody a little dot of their own for the map," Remus said enthusiastically. "So when they're pacing, moving, staying still – whatever, really – they will show up on the map. Professors count – we would know if they were coming near us, and we could hide!"

"Brilliant!" Sirius high-fived Remus. "That's amazing! Can we really do that?"

"Yes," Remus said, beaming now that his find was being appreciated. "It's a difficult charm though – I don't know if we'd be able to do it."

"Hell, yes we can," I said. "Give me that." I took the book from his hand, read the page, and contemplated it. "I think we could do this, who are you kidding?"

"You know that Charms is not my best subject, James," he said. "Could you do this?"

"Transfiguration is my best subject, but I like Charms – I could do it," I said. "And I'm going to keep trying this until I get it right; this is awesome, and I think we should use it."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Remus is doing all the research, I'm doing most of the actual drawing, and Peter can't do any of the spells, so you're stuck with all the dirty work; you'd better keep trying to get it right."

"Oy, shut it," Peter snapped, pink anyway, while Sirius and I laughed. "Just because I can't do these spells, doesn't mean that I can't do other ones."

"I know, I know," Sirius said through his laughter. "Unbunch your panties, Wormtail; I was just kidding."

I snorted before grabbing one of Remus's books. "Moony, what about those safety spells? Should I look those up in here?"

"Could you?" Remus asked. "Look for the most promising ones, and then tell me; I'll mark them."

"Okay." I began to flip through the book, quite bored, to be quite honest; books were so dull.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a highly intriguing little spell that was scribbled on the very last line of the very last page in the tiniest font type that could possibly exist. "Moony, come here; I have to show you this."

"Yeah?" Remus peered onto the page curiously.

"This one," I said, pointing to the appropriate spell. "For people that aren't authorized to see the map – if they say their name, a variety of insults will come up."

"It's rather rude," Remus objected. "Are you sure we should use it?"

"What's rude?" At this, of course Sirius's ears perked up and he walked towards us. "What shouldn't we use?"

"This," I said, pointing at the spell again.

"Damn, Prongs," he said, frowning. "You couldn't pick a smaller, more insignificant spell, could you?"

"Shut up," I snapped. "Just read."

Peter, interested as well, began to read with him, and when they finished, Sirius's previous annoyance was gone – he was itching to use the charm too.

"It's perfect, Moony!" Sirius cried. "We have to use it! It's just waiting for us to use it for our map!"

"It's so rude though," Remus said. "I don't like that."

"Well, it's rude to intrude our map, which was not for them," Sirius insisted. "Moony, if you don't let James perform the spell, I'm going to do it myself."

"You thrive in anything uncouth don't you?" Moony said, obviously disappointed in Sirius's ethics.

"Yup," Sirius chirped, unabashed. "So we're using the charm, aren't we?"

"Please say we are," Peter chimed in. "It's so funny!"

"Yeah, Moony," I added in. "Three against one."

"Oh all right," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "If it makes you guys happy."

"It does," Sirius confirmed, grinning. "This is going to be so damn fantastic – you wait and see, because I know that we're making a Hogwarts legend."

"No we're not," Remus said. "People won't know how to work it. Besides, we're either going to leave it here to get lost for years or years, or we'll keep it with us and it'll be completely useless. It won't be a legend."

"Don't be so pessimistic," I said. "I mean, what if our descendants find it? Wouldn't it be cool to leave behind a piece of our Marauder heritage for them? I know I'm going to show my kid how it works, when I get one."

"Well, then it's different," Remus said. "But I really don't think it's going to be more than just a map we made up because we wanted something to do."

"James, for your kid…I feel I must ask; who will his or her mother be?" Sirius asked, ignoring Remus's usual negativity completely as his attention turned to me.

"Lily," I answered immediately. "Lily will be the only woman I'd choose to have my children. I mean, they'll be Potters – they'll need a good mother, and Lily will be an ideal one."

"Well, I say that no matter what happens in the future, the Marauder's Map is going to be the biggest thing in the world while we're here," Peter said. "It's the present right now, not the future you're thinking about – let's live it up, shall we?"

"Those are the truest words that ever came out of your mouth, Pete," Sirius said proudly, thumping him on the back. "Let's live up this map; we're going to make it insult anyone who's not worthy. How does the charm work?"

"Well, we're supposed to come up with a general range of insults, and it'll put those up on the spot we touched the wand with on the map itself," I said, reading the paragraph in the book. "But we can do specialized ones too – I'd say we do a special one for Snivelly and then a general one for anyone else."

"Excellent," Sirius said. "Let's think extra carefully about what to say to Snivellus, and then we'll collaborate on the general one – what do you say?"

"I say that works," Peter said. "When will you guys all do the charms?"

"We'll practice and do them all at once," Remus answered. "It'll be a big deal – we'll do it at night in the common room."

"Can I steal more butterbeer for the occasion?" Peter inquired.

"There is never a time when you can't steal butterbeer," Sirius told Peter solemnly.

Remus rolled his eyes disapprovingly, but didn't comment otherwise. "So I think we've done a lot of work today – good job, boys. Shall we go upstairs and call it an afternoon?"

"Sure," I said, finishing the last of my butterbeer. "Toss my bottle for me, would you, Wormtail?"

"Okay." Peter took my empty container of butterbeer along with his own and was about to get rid of them when Sirius shouted his name.

"Pete! Can you throw mine out too?" he asked.

"No," Peter said.

"Why not? You're throwing James's out," Sirius pointed out, irritated.

"You're not James," Peter said simply. "Throw it out yourself."

"Fine," Sirius grumbled. "Damn you."

Peter laughed. "Thanks a bunch, Pads."

Sirius didn't answer; he simply grunted crossly and disposed of his butterbeer. Remus and I exchanged glances and tried to hold our laughter back; Sirius was so comical when he was pissed off.

Together, the four of us came upstairs, and now here I am, writing in my goddamn diary. How I hate this thing; I don't even know why I'm still using it. Remus has too many other things to worry about rather than my writing issues, yet I'm not taking advantage of that – it's so odd. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I reckon there is; nothing else would explain my constant handling of this book.

Why on earth was diary-writing invented?

A/N: All right, I'll be honest; even though this chapter was pointless, I liked it, which is a rare thing for me – I almost never like what I've written. But I dunno…there was so much irony in James's, and the question/answer thing was just a random idea I decided to use to change the flow a little in Lily's rants. Anyhow, review! I like those. :P