A/N: I've just realized that this is the last chapter for March; the next one will be for April 8th – isn't that crazy how close we're getting to the end? I've just realized that you've all stuck with me for about three months now! Aww, how nice of you. :) You get a cyber cookie just for that. I'll give you a brownie if you finish this insane story though. :P So…go ahead and start reading. I don't have much else to say. xD

Side note: I know your opinion of the Duff sisters is probably very low, but I do like the song One in this World, by Haylie Duff, and I think it matches the James/Lily situation pretty well.

Lily

March 27th

Dear Diary,

I couldn't believe I forgot it, but it was James's birthday today.

I really don't know how the date slipped my mind – I mean, he's James Potter. Everybody knows his birthday because people always make a big deal about it every year. Not only that, but it's his sixteenth; that's a pretty big deal. I felt even worse when I remembered the hullabaloo he had set up for my own birthday – I hadn't even bought his present because I forgot to. I amounted to just about nothing in the morning when I realized, with a jolt, what the date March 27th meant.

Now, I was in quite a predicament when I remembered his birthday; how could I give him the right present when I only had roughly two hours to get it all ready? It was really tricky business picking the right gift – he didn't know I was secretly in love with him (I still winced internally when I let that phrase form in my mind); he still thought that I hated him. Of course, that was sort of true because I hated how he gave me no peace of mind, but waving that aside, he still thought I hated him. I had to get hi something that said I-only-got-this-because-I-had-to, yet also said James-Potter-I-am-hopelessly-in-love-with-you; I don't think there is a single object that said both of those things at once, which left me the agonizing choice – the truth or what was expected of me. I wasn't sure what to go with, and to help matters even more, I knew that my decision could ruin all that I've been defending for five years; isn't fate so lovely? Ha. Of course it is.

So what was I supposed to do? I could give him one of three things:

A material object

Any service he desired (most likely a kiss)

A passionate snog that lasted an hour

Choice A, I decided, would be my back-up; if I couldn't think of anything, I'd buy him a moderately priced Quidditch item. Fair enough.

Choice B…that would probably be the best out of the lot; he could choose whatever he wanted. If it was a kiss, I could put up a fuss, but kiss him anyway. Yes, that would most likely work. I liked this option.

Choice C would be the idea for me, but I knew that I couldn't do it – I wouldn't have the guts or the time, since there are only a little over two months left for the O. W. L. exams. So no – the snog was, regrettably, not a good selection.

Choice B it was then; I had James's birthday present figured out. Yay for me. Now all I had to do was tell him. Hold that yay.

All day today, people sought James out and wished him a happy birthday. He got a boatload of presents, as well as tons of money; the rumor circulating through the school was that he had kissed eleven girls. It was a believable one too – James kissed girls as a hobby after Quidditch. A surge of pride and sorrow always went through me when I thought about that – I was the only one with enough backbone to not let him kiss me, yet I wanted to, and badly at that.

Still, I had to give him my gift; so, at lunch, I found him at the Gryffindor table. It wasn't hard – he was the only one with a group of girls standing around him, giggling. I took a deep breath and approached him; when he saw me, he shooed his fans away and smiled at me – it was a smile that took my breath away, but I tried to hide it.

"Hey," I said. "Happy sixteenth birthday."

"Thanks," said James. He then looked into my empty hands and asked teasingly, "Where's my present?"

I smacked his arm. "You are so rude! As it is, I didn't have a present I could wrap for you."

"Is it a kiss?" he guessed hopefully.

"No," I said, though I was ashamed to find that I hoped it would be. "It's a service, almost like your coupons – I will do any one thing for you today only." I was sure to add emphasis on the one.

"Anything?" Mischief lit his eyes; I could only guess what horrid thoughts were going through his mind.

"Yes, but with a few exceptions," I said. "Firstly, you may not drag me into your bed against my will. Secondly, I am not going to tell you that I love you, and I am certainly not going to mean it. Thirdly, going along with the first thing, I am not going to take my clothes off."

James pretended to look sorrowful. "Then I'll have to think carefully about this. Am I allowed that kiss I thought you were going to give me though?"

"You might be," was all I would say on the subject. I left him at the table to join Leila, who was placidly eating her eggs. When she saw me, she grinned. "So did you wish James happy birthday?" was the first thing she said.

"Yes," I told her. "I even gave him a present."

"Ooh, what was it?" Leila asked, ignoring her eggs to find out what I had done.

"I told him I'd do any one thing for him today – but with a few exceptions," I said. "Do you think that works?"

"You should have kissed him," Leila said. "He would have liked that. I assume a kiss was one of the exceptions though, right?"

"No, it wasn't," I admitted. "My exceptions were no taking my clothes off and no asking me to say I loved him. But I didn't want to kiss him, Leils."

"Why not? You love him," Leila said, her eyes searching me for an answer.

"I don't," I told her crossly. "Stop saying I do."

"Well then stop denying it," she said simply. "You're in love, Miss Lily Evans, and I'm waiting to hear you say it."

It was much harder to deny that I loved him, now that I actually did, so I decided to make her drop the subject. "Leils, I'm not saying it. Now can we please go to class? I want to avoid the Potter fan club."

"Good idea," Leila said, shuddering. "They're so creepy."

"You should be their president," I remarked.

"No – that's Regina's job," Leila said with a smirk.

I giggled. "True." So we walked to class together, thankfully only trashing Regina rather than interrogating me on my feelings for James. That had been a pretty close call.

Every time I looked at James for the rest of our lessons, he was always surrounded by people. Regina was with him pretty frequently, but that was a granted; she was obsessed with him. I knew why now, and it was all I could do to not tear her apart with my bare hands. She was a bitch, and I wanted James – I felt like a jealous, overemotional little preteen, but it was the truth; I tell you, my diary, the whole truth and nothing but because you are the only one I trust. You aren't going to any other hands, so I can say everything I want to say. That is the only bit of bliss I can possibly get on my dark horizon.

Anyway, so when classes ended for the day, James managed to get away from his friends and took me aside in a more insignificant corner. His eyes were achingly peaceful; I wanted that peace, but the only way to get it was to find some kind of courage in me and take what I needed – him.

I'd rather stay screwed up.

He was quiet; he seemed to have trouble forming the right words. I knew that feeling all too well; therefore, I prompted him. "Yes?"

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about that service of yours," he began. His voice was uncertain; what on earth could he possibly want from me?

"And…?" I encouraged.

"And I know what I want," he said.

It was probably a kiss, I thought. "What is it?" I inquired anyway.

James looked into my face for a long, long time before he said, "For my birthday, all I really want is for you to be truly happy."

That had definitely not been what I had expected. "What?" I queried stupidly.

"I just want you to be happy," he repeated, his hazel eyes softer than baby powder.

"You mean you're not going to ask me to do anything obnoxious?" I asked in disbelief.

"No," he said.

"You won't make me kiss you?"

"No."

"You won't want any kind of real gift."

He laughed. "No."

"You won't ask me out?"

"No."

"You won't force me to take study breaks?"

"No, but that's a good idea."

"Boy, what is wrong with you?" I demanded. "Stop being so sweet; not taking advantage of this situation is not like you!"

He laughed once more. "I love you, so I value your happiness above anything else. You're pretty touchy lately – I just want you to genuinely smile and have a good time."

I was really taken aback; that was actually very, very nice of him, and only made me love him more – he wanted me to be happy on his birthday! How many guys asked you for something like that?!

"Can you do that for me?" James requested.

I nodded and gave him the first smile – a real one, like he'd wanted. "Yes, I can."

He smiled back, seemingly pleased to see me take his appeal to heart so quickly. "Thank you."

"Happy birthday." I tried to give him a hug, but found it too awkward – he was still under that impression of hatred, and that meant he still thought I would burn anything he touched. So, instead, he shook my hand and we went our separate ways. My heart was still fluttering; how adorable of him! The urge to admit my love for him became enormous, but I kept trying to shake it away. I didn't want to admit anything.

When Leila saw me, she asked at once, "What did James want?"

"Nothing," I muttered as I retreated to my dormitory. I didn't want to tell her what he had wanted; when it came to James, I couldn't tell Leila anything – we'd been rather distant because of that fact. We still hung around together, and it wasn't as though Leila had no other friends, but I didn't cling to her like I had when Remus broke it off with me. I could feel myself falling apart, but I wasn't going to let her in. Not for this one. This crush was one that I would deal with on my own, even if it broke me apart.

So what am I left to do? I guess I'll go study; my books are my escapes from reality, because when I'm sucked into my work, there's almost no way to get me out. It won't be a textbook – it'll be a book my mother had read and sent to me by post. I hadn't had the chance to start it, and now I think I will.

We all know that there's nothing like curling up with a good book and trying to forget about the guy you love on his birthday.

James

March 27th

Dear Diary,

Happy birthday to me!

Yes, yes, today is indeed my sixteenth birthday. I have been waiting ages for this day and here it is; I am officially sixteen. Better yet, I only have to wait one more year before I'm an official adult and can take the world by storm, just like I've always dreamed. I can take Lily with me, and together, we'll travel, see the world, be together, and possibly give me a kid to teach Marauder history. It's all so close, I can almost taste it; that gives me more reason to have fun today – because my life will officially start very, very soon.

When I woke up this morning, Sirius pounced on me in an enormous bear hug. "Happy birthday, Prongs," he said, grinning wickedly at me. "What do you say to some mischievousness just because you're a whole year elder today? We can sneak down and get you a snack from the kitchens."

"Thanks Pads," I said with a laugh. "I'd say that sounds great – I'm growing old, and I need to have some fun."

"Excellent," he said. "C'mon; Moony and Wormtail are outside in the common room."

I gladly followed him, feeling that usual burst of energy I got when I was ready to run around like a lunatic, causing as much trouble as I could. We bounded down the stairs, and sure enough, the rest of the Gryffindor fifth years shouted out to me, "Happy birthday, James!"

With a grin, I shouted back, "Thank you!"

Peter fought his way out of the throng of people then, smiling up at me. "Hey Prongs; come down here, would you?"

I obliged, and by that time, Sirius had managed to drag Remus out of the crowd as well so that the four of us stood in the same little corner. Peter said, "We're having a party tonight; we're all going to be in here at seven until whatever time we can stay up till. Does that work?"

"Hell yeah," I said, beaming. "Should I help get things set up?"

"It's your birthday, Prongs," Sirius reminded me. "You don't have to do anything. We do it for you."

"Then can you get Lily Evans to be nice to me today?" I asked, smirking.

"Prongs, if I had my way, she would bloody marry you tomorrow so you stop obsessing over her," Sirius said. "But as it is, we can't; she hates you, and I'm not going to take the trouble to fight for a lost cause. Girls are never worth that much concern."

"That particular girl is," I insisted. "But whatever – I understand. Shall we go down to breakfast then, my fellow Marauders?"

"We shall." Sirius gave me a mock bow, and then said suddenly, "Last one there is a Snivelly!"

At once, Sirius, Peter, and I tore off to the Great Hall; Remus, of course, did not care for our little games, and came at his own pace. We got some breakfast – Sirius got his usual porridge, which went straight finally came in to sit with us.

"Why do you always want to be the Snivelly?" Sirius asked, aggravated. "I am friends with Remus Lupin, not Snivelly."

"Why do you always play that stupid game?" Remus countered, buttering his toast calmly as he looked to Sirius for an answer.

"Because it's fun," he explained, drawing out the word 'fun.' "If you don't know what that is, well, I'm not surprised, but the rest of us like to have it whenever we can so that we don't end up single and boring for the rest of our lives."

"If that's supposed to imply that I'm never going to get married and am going to be boring my entire life, then you're quite wrong," Remus said conversationally, taking a bite of toast. "While I may not get married, I will never be boring; you three know that."

"Oh, you mean your FLP?" I inquired.

"Of course," Remus said. "I don't think I can ever be boring while I have that, can I?"

"Ugh." Sirius rolled his eyes in disgust. "I meant generally boring – don't talk much, work overtime for free; that sort of thing."

"Sirius, our definitions of boring differ quite a bit," he said. "You consider being a virgin boring."

"Well, if you like a girl, then get in bed with her – that's my motto," Sirius said simply. "It's easy; I don't see why you three don't try it."

"I don't like anyone," Peter said. "I mean, Leila Patterson's cute, but she hates me."

The porridge in Sirius's nose flew forward into his plate as he snorted violently with laughter. "You like Leila Patterson?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," Peter said, blushing. "I do, but she hates me. I don't care – she's probably not my type – but I do like her."

Sirius went back to his hysterics while Remus made a face. "Ignore him, Wormtail."

"She likes me, but you can have her, Pete," I said. "She scares me."

"Well that works, because Peter is scared of her," Sirius said, regaining a little of his hold on himself. "You'd make a beautiful couple. As for the two of you – Remus, you don't like anyone, do you?"

"I might," Remus said, his ears turning red.

"Who?" Sirius demanded. "Who do you like?"

"No one," Remus corrected himself hastily. "It won't work."

"Oh, do you mean…her?" I asked, catching on.

"Yes, I mean her." I had never seen Remus so uncomfortable, or so sad, really.

"Who is 'she'?" Peter and Sirius inquired simultaneously.

"No one," Remus and I answered back simultaneously.

Silence.

Then – "What had we been talking about?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing important," Remus said. "Now finish your breakfast, please."

"Yes, mother," Sirius said, snickering, as he put more porridge into his nose.

"Would it kill you to eat properly, Sirius?" Remus inquired, looking in distaste at Sirius's nose, which was leaking with grayish slop.

"Yes." Sirius gave a hearty sniff and turned back to Remus. "Is that a problem?"

"Of course it's a problem!" Remus exploded. "That's disgusting!

"I'm not asking you to do it!" Sirius exploded right back. "What's wrong with putting porridge in your nose? We've already had this discussion!"

"You know, you two sound just like a married couple," Peter remarked.

"We do not," Sirius and Remus snapped at him at the same time.

I laughed. "Well, either way, it's my birthday, and I want to request that you two stop fighting. Remus, it's not that big of a deal if Sirius wants to put porridge into his nose. Sirius…quit being sensitive."

"I stand corrected – you're my mother, Prongs, not Remus," Sirius said, snickering. "Remus can be my wife instead."

Peter chuckled, but Remus threw Sirius a filthy look. "Sirius, don't be absurd."

"No, really Moony, I love you." Sirius batted his eyelashes. "Run away with me – we can get married in France tomorrow."

Remus rolled his eyes and continued to eat his toast, though I did notice his ears were still rather red. Sirius forgot about taunting him then, and began to go into details about the party, but I was more interested in the girls that began to come in groups, giggling, and wishing me a happy birthday. Parcel after parcel was dropped into my lap, and if it wasn't a parcel, it was a tiny bag with five to ten Galleons in it. Otherwise, I got kisses – I counted about six. The rumor is that I got eleven, but it's not true – six kisses (terrible ones at that) was where it stopped.

I was mostly watching Lily all day, but she never really looked my way; she talked to Leila, or simply did her work in silence. That slightly irritated me – though it did sound kind of arrogant, I did feel hurt that she hardly acknowledged my birthday after all I'd done for hers. However, I couldn't dwell on that too much; Regina continued her quest to hang on to me as tightly as she possibly could. When she saw me in first period, she threw her arms around me and hugged me so hard I was scared for my rib cage.

"Jamesie! Happy birthday, baby!" she said, smiling broadly at me.

"Erm, thanks Gina," I said awkwardly, feeling myself blush.

"I have your birthday kiss," she said, her smile widening even more, if it was possible. "Would you like it right now?"

Before I could protest, though, she came forward and kissed me powerfully on my lips. It was horrible, and even if I tried to push her off of me, she kept on going! I should've reported her for sexual harassment – it was beyond revolting having to kiss her that way.

When she finally got off of me, she laughed. "I love kissing you; you're so good at it."

I was? "I am?" I asked, taken aback.

She nodded. "Yes; very good. Now come here, you – sit with me." With that, I was hauled to Regina's desk, where I was forced to sit next to her for the entire period. I stole countless glances at Lily, who was still with Leila. She was always with that girl – I couldn't see why. Leila was nice enough, but was she so great that she was worth hanging around with all the time? I had never thought so; I wonder what Lily saw in her.

Anyhow, my morning was all right, with lessons I ignored, friends I talked to, and most of the school wishing me a happy birthday, but it was at lunch that things really changed up a bit. I had a bunch of girls surrounding my spot; they were there because they wanted to tell me happy birthday, but the journey to my seat was mostly to flirt with Sirius, which amused him. Whatever. I ate my breakfast quietly until I saw Lily walk towards my spot. I made Sirius get rid of the girls (which he did grudgingly) and grinned up at Lily's beautiful face; her emerald eyes were my favorite out of all the eyes in the school.

"Hey," she said. "Happy sixteenth birthday." Why was she so awkward? Didn't she know that I would give my front teeth for her to spend a full day with me?

"Thanks," I said. Then I smirked and asked her, "Where's my present?"

My comment earned me a spank on my arm. "You are so rude," Lily scolded playfully. "As it is, I didn't have a present I could wrap for you."

Hopeful at once, I inquired, "Is it a kiss?"

"No," she said. "It's a service – almost like your coupons; I will do any one thing for you today only."

"Anything?" I was only teasing her; I wasn't going to ask for anything that would make my sweet little Lily uncomfortable – I loved her too much for that – but alarm bells went off in her head right away.

"Yes, but with a few exceptions," Lily said. "Firstly, you may not drag me into your bed against my will. Secondly, I am not going to tell you that I love you, and I am certainly not going to mean it. Thirdly, going along with the first thing, I am not going to take my clothes off."

With a fake-sad expression, I said, "Then I'll have to think carefully about this. Am I allowed that kiss I thought you were going to give me though?" Though she hated it when I tried to kiss her, I knew I would like to keep that option open.

"You might be." That was all she said about it; she merely walked right back to Leila without another word to me. It was a little disheartening, but I still turned to my friends eagerly.

"What did Evans want?" Sirius asked interestedly.

"She wanted to tell me happy birthday, and that she would do any one thing for me today," I told all three of them. "What should I ask her for?"

Sirius opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "She said I'm not allowed to bring her into bed, make her take her clothes off, or make her say 'I love you' and mean it." Sirius closed his mouth again, disappointed, and I turned to Remus and Peter.

"I really don't know," Remus said. "What do you want the most from Lily, James?"

"I want her to kiss me, but I'm not allowed to," I said. "I want her to be my girlfriend too – do you think she'd say yes to that?"

"No," Peter said. "She'll hex your ears off like she did when we were in second year – do you remember that?"

"Vividly," I said with a scowl. "Okay…hmmm…what do I want most from her?"

"I'd say to hell with the exceptions – take her clothes off," Sirius said, shrugging.

"Sirius, that's disgusting," Remus chastised. "Don't say things like that."

"Sorry, sweetie," Sirius said lazily.

Remus looked at him with revolted confusion. "Excuse me?"

"You're my wife, remember?" He grinned. "What should I call you then? Do you prefer 'babe'?"

"This may sound a bit strange, but I prefer just being called Remus or Moony," he said sarcastically.

"Aww, you're boring," Sirius complained. "I want a divorce."

Remus rolled his eyes (his ears were still so red though – I didn't know why) and shifted his attention back to me. "Well James? What do you want from Lily?"

"I really just want her to be happy," I said honestly. "Should I tell her that I want her to be happy for my birthday?"

"No," Peter said at once. "That sounds tacky."

"Yeah, listen to Peter because Peter would know everything about what's cool and what's not," Sirius said, smirking.

Remus gave Sirius a dangerous look but said to me, "Yes, if that's what you really want from her. I think that's rather sweet; I'd like to see that girl smile a little bit more."

"It's tacky," Peter insisted.

"I think it's perfect," I said shortly. "I'll tell her later though – right now we have to get to class if we don't want a detention."

"Sounds good," Remus said, standing up. "C'mon Sirius."

"You're not my wife anymore – you can't order me around," Sirius informed him.

"You didn't listen to me when I was your 'wife' and you won't listen to me now, but I thought I'd ask anyway," Remus said.

"Good point," Sirius said. "I think I'll come with you anyway. Just because I'm a great ex-husband." He stood up and grinned amiably, but Remus ignored him and walked with Peter. Sirius walked with me; he was still chortling away at his joke of marriage, and I decided to enjoy it with him – after all, it had been rather entertaining to watch.

Finally, after a long day of classes, I went to the common room to do the job I had been waiting to do for hours – find Lily and tell her what I wanted for my birthday. I looked around for her, and eventually, I found her and took her off to the side with me.

Once we were standing there, waiting for me to say something, I couldn't talk; I wasn't sure how to start the conversation. What could I say – Lily, I'm in love with you and for my birthday I want you to be happy? That would be tacky, as Peter said. I had to be a little diplomatic; Lily liked smart guys.

"Yes?" she prompted after a few moments.

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about that service of yours," I started off.

"And…?"

"And I know what I want," I said, proud that I had finished my sentence.

Lily was less fulfilled, but she still asked, "What is it?"

I gazed into her thin, pale, heart-shaped face for what felt like hours, and told her that for my birthday, all I wanted was for her to be truly happy.

This took her by complete surprise. "What?"

"I just want you to be happy," I said again, watching her tenderly.

"You mean you're not going to ask me to do anything obnoxious?" It was almost insulting how flabbergasted she was by that point.

"No," I said.

Then she proceeded by asking me a series of things I wasn't going to want for my birthday – kissing her, a 'real gift,' going out with her, taking study breaks – but I just smiled and said no, I wasn't going to make her do those things. All I'd ever wanted was for her to be happy, and now I'd told her; hopefully she'd do it.

"Boy, what is wrong with you? Stop being so sweet; not taking advantage of this situation is not like you!" Her voice was commanding – she was actually requiring me to answer. I found that rather laughable.

I chuckled. "I love you, so I value your happiness above anything else. You're pretty touchy lately – I just want you to genuinely smile and have a good time. Can you do that for me?"

She smiled at me, making me smile as well. "Yes, I can."

"Thank you," I said.

"Happy birthday." She was about to hug me, but neither of us could find a way to make our bodies fit together, since we'd never done it before. That meant we just shook hands and scooted away as quickly as possible so that we wouldn't have to have an awkward moment. I went back to Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and they eagerly asked me how Lily took my request.

"She was really stunned – too stunned, really," I said coolly. "But it doesn't matter – she said she'd do it. Now what else is going on?"

I wasn't in the mood to discuss Lily, for the first time ever, and I wasn't even sure why – it was probably because I was confused by the look in her eyes when I said I wanted her to be happy. It was as though the usual layer of hostility had melted away, leaving a rawer, more sensitive side of her exposed – I had rarely seen such a phenomenon, and I wanted to be alone to think about it. I had excused myself to my dormitory after about five minutes of chatting about nothing with the Marauders, and that's where I am now. I think I'm getting to the real Lily Evans now – the one that I had fallen in love with, and the one that might possibly love me back.

I don't want to jinx anything, but I really hope that this is my breakthrough – that soon, she'll tell me what I want to hear and make everything all right again.

The party that was scheduled to be in the common room is right now though, and I can hear Sirius banging on the door, asking what the hell I'm doing and why I'm not outside having fun. I'd best go attend to that; Sirius gets antsy when I'm not dancing and having a good time, because if I'm alone too long, he reckons I'm doing something boring.

Sirius has a hard time sitting still for a long period of time. Surprises, right? Ha.

So I'll write again later – maybe. I still hate this book with a passion, and I don't like using it. However, I promise that the next time something major happens with me and Lily, I'll write about it.

Are you happy now, Moony?

A/N: No, I didn't write about the party – length issues and laziness were the two main reasons why. :P But anyhow, review and let me know what you thought! I know it was a little cheesy, but whatever; you could probably see why it had to be that way. So…click the button and give me motivation to write the next chapter faster. :P