A/N: Yuck; my life sucks so badly, I'm not even going to go into any details. All you need to know is that updating is going to be slow, and I'm terribly sorry about that, but there's really nothing I can do. So here's this chapter (it's a lot of fluff and romance – you have been warned) – I hope you like it.
Music to listen to: Brighter Than Sunshine (Aqualung), Some Hearts (Carrie Underwood), I Could Get Used to This (The Veronicas), Home (Vanessa Carlton)
Lily
May 17th
Dear Diary,
It's been ten days since James Potter read my diary. That means it's been ten days I've been living in a life that's not my own.
It may sound strange for me to say that, but it feels like its true – I never, ever thought I'd be acting the way I am nowadays. I always thought I'd find the perfect guy later some day, when I was a little older, and he'd come, sweep me off my feet, and marry me away. I'd be happy, and bam; there was my fairytale ending – quick, effortless, and utterly perfect. Of course, I'd been naïve when I thought like that; I know now that real life works much differently. For example, real life presented me with James, and like someone who turned out to be very smart once told me, he was a truly good person in disguise. He taught me everything I needed to know over the course of five years, and when I got the completely wrong idea, he set me straight – he has changed me more than I could have guessed he would. It's crazy, and I feel like I'm going to wake up from the dream any day now, but for now, I'm happy, and that's all that matters to me.
Why am I happy? Well, this time, the better question is why I wouldn't be happy – I am in the company of one of the best people on this planet nearly every hour or every day. His face is the last thing I see in my mind's eye at night before I go to sleep and the first thing I think of in the morning when I awake. He spends every available minute he can with me, and he's sensitive to what I like or don't like. I never – not in a million years – who would have thought that James Potter could be so sensitive, or sweet, or generally perfect? All of the faults I used to pick at are cute habits to me now, and I don't mind them. His strengths seem to stand out, and I wonder why I didn't appreciate them before. The air outside seems to be warmer, the early-summer sun seems to shine brighter, and I, the most pessimistic person to walk the earth, seem to be a little more optimistic, which is a miracle in itself. I'm invincible to everything and everyone, and it's only because I know James is on my side. I guess I always knew that, but now I trust it, and I'm the first to know that trusting someone can make all the difference in the world.
I know that Leila gets a huge kick out of seeing us together all the time. She always grins when James kisses me, and giggles when he tells me he loves me – she had been telling me for years it would end up working that way, and she enjoyed being right. She told me that this morning, when she and I walked down to breakfast together.
"I knew it, Lily," Leila said for about the twentieth time that day alone. "I'd known it since you first decided to hate him, and look at how right I was."
"Yes, thank you, Leila," I said, grinning at her.
"I'm so good at this," Leila complimented herself. "I think I should take up Divination – I'd impress those Seers, eh?"
"Of course you would," I said, laughing.
"Hell yeah." Leila put her fist in the air. "So, what do you say to having a night at Honeydukes, eating as much chocolate as we possibly can?"
"I say let's do it," I said, smiling. "We haven't done anything together lately because I'm utterly obsessed with James."
"I know." Leila pulled a face. "I totally support you guys and all, but I miss my best friend."
"I miss you too, Leils – that's why we're going to do something tonight," I said, hugging her briefly.
"Sounds good." She gave me an enormous grin and then raced me down to the Great Hall. I did see James in there (he was sitting with Remus, Sirius, and Peter), but he didn't see me – I made sure he didn't. I felt that I should probably eat with Leila for once, without having James there, flirting like the maniac that he was, so that was exactly what I did – Leila and I tried to figure out who could chug their orange juice faster. Sure, it was a behavior I usually didn't engage myself in, but it was fun; and, as a fun fact, Leila won by two and a half seconds. However, I could eat my toast faster than she could by five seconds; I felt a bit better, even if she probably did let me win.
On my way out of breakfast, James came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my middle, squeezed me, and blew in my ear. I screamed out loud, making Leila chortle crazily, but James just turned me around and kissed me deeply, knowing he wouldn't meet any resistance.
"You didn't think you'd be able to avoid me today, did you?" he asked me playfully when he was finished.
"No, I didn't – I just wanted breakfast to myself, James," I said, smiling slightly. "Give me some space, would you?"
"I did, and trust me, it's been far too long as it is," he said. "I mean really – when was the last time I saw you? Yesterday night?"
I knew by his tone that he was joking, but somehow, it didn't feel that way. "You mad, mad child," I said. "You're being so hopeless right now."
James gave me his huge, I-don't-care-if-you-think-I'm-too-obsessed-with-you smile, which made Leila stop laughing at us and say, "Lily! Don't call your boyfriend hopeless."
"He attacked me – I think I'm allowed to call him hopeless," I told her. "Don't you think so, James?"
"Of course I do," he agreed. "But I think we're going to get late to class, and knowing Lily's values for work, I'd better get her there." Then he surprised me by seizing me, and throwing me over his shoulder before making his way through the corridor, leaving Leila hooting her arse off behind us.
"James, put me down!" I hollered. I had never liked being carried – it felt bumpy and made it far too easy to fall to the ground.
"I've got you, Lily, stop worrying so much," he said playfully. "You're still too light – are you sure you've been eating properly?"
"Yes, I have; you've been watching me eat for ages," I said. "Now bloody put me down!"
"I thought you'd enjoy a ride to class," James told me naively. "Most girls do."
"Not this girl – my cousin David once did this to me when I was six, and I ended up breaking my wrist because he dropped me," I informed him.
"I'm not your cousin David, so you have nothing to agonize about," he said easily. "I'm never going to drop you."
It was no use arguing with him on the matter, so I let him take me up to Transfiguration. It wasn't as scary as it could be, since James was true to his word and didn't even get close to dropping me, and I confessed that when he sat me on my desk in the empty classroom.
My statement made him grin. "I told you so," he teased.
"Why on earth did you carry me though?" I wanted to know.
"I felt like it," he answered. "And why do you question me on everything I do?"
"Because none of it makes bloody sense."
James made his disbelieving noise. "Lil, really – why do you question me all the time?"
"I ask a lot of questions," I said defensively. "All you have to do is answer them, James."
"You still don't trust me." He wasn't hurt by that; simply amused.
"I trust you," I protested. "But when everything's going right, don't you ever feel like you're way overdue for some bad luck? I know I'm not going to care when it comes around, but it's a sense of foreboding, you know?"
He thought on that. "I think I get it. But you really need to shake that foreboding – nothing and no one are going to touch you besides me, all right? Relax."
"I can do that," I said.
"Good." James smiled and leaned up to kiss me again, and I happily obliged. With a lot of couples that lasted more than six months, I had noticed that there was never any passion or any magic in the way they kissed – it was like they were just going through the motions because they were still a couple. I knew it wasn't like that with James and me though; the magic remained with every day we were together, and there was always that little spark that went off when we kissed. We had a timeless love, and I constantly admired that when he was with me.
We only stopped kissing once Kyleigh walked into the room, and she looked rather surprised to see us in there so early, let alone doing what we were. "Hey Lily, hey James," she said, her bewilderment evident in her tone of voice.
"Hey Kyleigh," I said, blushing slightly. "What brings you in here so early?"
"Had to drop off my stuff so that I could find Sirius again," she said as she dropped her bag by her seat. "How about you?"
"James wanted to be in here early," I said.
"I see." She took a breath and then said, "I guess I'll see you around."
"Sure," I replied. "Bye."
Kyleigh waved awkwardly, but left the room anyway. James and I looked at each other for a moment, digesting what had just taken place, and I laughed. "She's probably outside giggling about what she just saw us do," I said. "Kyleigh lives to gossip."
"I'm okay with that," he said, grinning. "We'll give her things to gossip about."
"Like what?"
James thought about that. "I dunno. We can hide in a broom cupboard and let her find us snogging in there or something."
I swatted his shoulder. "I am not going to hide in a broom cupboard with you. If you want to snog me, you're going to have to do it in places that aren't broom cupboards."
"Tell me where and I'll be there," he said rather suggestively.
I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Not tonight – I have O. W. L. practice papers to get to."
"Not you too," he groaned. "Remus has been doing those obsessively lately, and I was hoping you'd forgotten about it."
"How could I forget about it? The O. W. L.'s are coming in less than a month – this is the time to be studying," I told him. "I have plenty; you can do them with me."
"Lily, I'm not going to do bloody O. W. L. practice papers," James said firmly. "That's positively inhuman. Sirius would eat me alive."
"Like I would really let him do that," I scoffed. "Come on – they can only help you after all."
"I don't want to do them," he repeated. "They're positively inhuman – I just said that."
"James, I want you to pass and do well, so you're going to do O. W. L. practice papers with me tonight, all right?" I ordered. "That's final."
"Lily." He dragged my name out into an almighty moan. "I don't want to study."
"Sweetie, I don't care if you want to or not," I said. "You're studying with me tonight because you haven't even started yet, which is bad."
"I don't need to," he tried to convince me.
"Yes, you do," I said. "I don't care how smart you are – you need to prepare regardless. Besides, it would make me happy; can you study as a favor?"
James looked extremely displeased. "Lily, please don't do this to me. You know I can't turn down a favor."
I batted my eyelashes. "I know."
He exhaled irately. "Fine. Just because I love you so much."
"Thank you," I said demurely. "I love you too."
"At least kiss me and make my efforts worthwhile," he complained.
"I can do that," I said, smiling as I leaned down to him for the second time. He met me readily and savored the kiss for a few minutes. Then he let me go and said, "Okay, so tonight we're studying?"
"Yes, we are," I confirmed.
"And tomorrow you're going to come with me to my Quidditch practice?"
"I am?" I frowned; he knew that I didn't like Quidditch too much.
"Yes, you are," he said with a triumphant nod.
"Okay, I am," I agreed, just because he expected me not to. "I'll watch you terrorize that poor Keeper as you shoot goal after goal."
"Excellent." He kissed me again. "I like the sound of that."
I bounced down from my spot on the desk and sat in my actual chair. "So do I. Now sit – Professor McGonagall will be in here soon and if she sees you kissing me, she's going to throw a fit or something."
"Right," he said with a laugh as he went to his seat. "I forgot that I'm not allowed to kiss you when a teacher is around."
I smirked while I got out my books from my bag; James was just so silly sometimes, and it just made him cuter somehow. I was too in love with him for my own good.
Professor McGonagall did enter the room at that point, followed closely by a large group of early-breakfast-eaters, and I wasn't able to talk to James again. Leila bounced in and seized the seat next to me, pleased that she was able to occupy it for once, and began to take out her things.
"So, what did you have to give James to let this seat stay open?" she asked me conversationally.
"Nothing," I said. "He went to his old seat. I think Sirius wanted to sit with him and I knew I'd been ignoring you in class lately."
She laughed. "Your sitting with James all the time doesn't make me mad or anything, if you're doing this out of pity – I think it's perfectly fine if you sit with your boyfriend."
"Relax Leila," I said. "Now what did you get for question three on the list of questions McGonagall assigned? That was the only one I wasn't sure about."
"I don't know, I didn't get many of them at all," Leila said, giving me her page. "You can take a look at what I have, but it's probably not right."
"Leils, why didn't you ask me for help on this?" I inquired.
"Because I did it at about four this morning," she said. "Otherwise believe me, I would have asked for your help."
I chuckled, handed the parchment back to her, and watched the last of the class throw themselves into their desks before the bell rang and McGonagall began the day's lesson. James had indeed chosen to sit next to Sirius for the day, and McGonagall did note dryly that when he sat with me, he was much better behaved; that made him wink at me from across the room before arguing vehemently about the conclusion. Sirius backed him up, claiming "no chick could keep him under control," and about half the class period was wasted, which, of course, was fine with everyone in the room. Before, if that had happened, I would have been furious – I would have added that to my list of the reasons I hated James. Not today though; today, I enjoyed our day off just like everyone else. Leila said that this was either a sign of me being ill or me acting like a normal person at last. I agreed with the former; I had already diagnosed myself with love sickness.
After classes ended for the afternoon, I dragged James down to the common room without letting him drop his bag off upstairs. I laid out my books, parchment, and quill like always, while James watched me in disbelief.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked me.
"Because I know it's good for me," I said. "Get your quill and ink out – I'll give you a practice test to take to see where you're at."
He groaned, but took out the quill anyway and waited for me to give him the test. I did, and took one of myself as well. "Enjoy yourself," I said as I began to write down the answer for the first question.
I got a grunt in reply, which was intended to tell me he wasn't happy about what he was doing, but I ignored it as I got lost into my thought processes. The test was very, very easy for me, which was a good sign, and I managed to get the whole thing done in half an hour – a new record for me. I turned around to find the answer key in my bag, but James was already flipping through it, checking his paper.
"How are you already done?" I asked in disbelief. "That's one of the more difficult tests I have."
"Really?" James looked at his sheet in disbelief. "It was a piece of cake – I'll be fine on this O. W. L. if this is the standard."
I sighed. "James Potter, you never cease to amaze me. Did you miss any?"
"No," he said, handing to me. "Here, check it for me."
I looked through his work, and even though it was done in something that amounted to a little more than barely legible chicken-scratch, it was correct. I gave it back to him, looking annoyed. "How do you do it? How can you do this with such ease the first time while I blunder along, doing the same thing for ages to get it right?"
"I don't know," James said. "I really don't. I just trust my instinct – maybe you should try that. You always change your answers through five times before you're satisfied."
"Well, I'm doing better than you in every class, so perhaps my methods aren't as fallible as you claim," I said, miffed.
"I'm not saying they're fallible – whatever that means," he said. "I'm just saying that you should go with your gut feeling. It's always worked for me and Sirius."
I sighed once again. "Maybe so, but your gut can be wrong – you have to keep checking your answers to make sure you got the maximum amount right."
"This is your problem with life in general, Lily – you always doubt what you know is right just because you think you can do better," James told me. "Sometimes, that's not the case; sometimes, you just need to go out there and do something incredibly stupid just because you can."
I chose to ignore his comments as I said, "Do you want another test?"
"No, I don't," he said. "I know this stuff already, and so do you. Trust me, Lil; one day, your brain is going to completely rebel against you and refuse to work anymore, if this is the hell you've been giving it all year."
"My brain, like me, has learned to persist," I said stoutly.
"Take a break," he suggested. "How about I take you out tonight?"
"I don't want to go out – I want to get ready for these bloody exams," I said.
I was really beginning to irritate James. "Do you want me to drag you out by force then?"
I pursed my lips, but I packed up my bag. When everything was put away, I faced him and said, "There – I'm done. What now?"
"Now you and I are going to Hogsmeade and I take you out for real," he said. "I've been trying for ages, but you never let me; today, I will."
"I'm hanging out with Leila tonight," I said. "And you have Quidditch practice tomorrow."
He groaned. "Why can I never take you out?"
"You don't need to," I said. "I'm happy being with you every waking minute within the castle. It's not necessary to take me out to the village because I'm already in love with you."
"Still," he fussed. "I've been dreaming of the day I'd be able to go out with you, and even now, I can't get it."
"Why are you insistent that we go out?" I asked.
"It's what normal couples usually do," he clarified.
"You are so damn stupid," I accused him.
"What?" He wrinkled his nose in confusion at my insult – he hadn't been used to getting those lately.
"James Potter, do you really think, even for a second, that we are like any other couple?" I demanded. "We're different – other people wish they were like us; we'll change things up and, like you said, give them something to gossip about."
He looked bewildered for a moment, but then his face cracked into a huge grin. "That's exactly what I like to hear. We won't go out then – not this year. Maybe next year. What do you say?"
"I say we'll think about it when the time comes," I said. "But as of right now, I need to put my things away so that Leila and I can go to Hogsmeade – I'll see you when I get back."
"I'll miss you," James said innocently.
I kissed him. "I'll miss you too, but we'll both be okay. See you later." I heaved my bag up the stairs then, and tried to do something to my hair to help it look more presentable – James was forever running his fingers through it, making it extremely messy. Then I just lingered in the dormitory, waiting for Leila, who came looking for me roughly twenty minutes later.
"Ready?" she asked.
"I have been for quite a while by now," I said. "Where were you?"
"Downstairs, trying to look for you," said Leila. "I searched everywhere – I didn't think you'd actually be ready before me."
"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically. "Now let's go – I'm craving chocolate."
"Why, didn't James feed you chocolate while you studied?" she teased.
I rolled my eyes, but grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the dormitory with me. She laughed at me and called me pushy – I told her that she hadn't seen anything yet. She expressed sorrow for James, if that was what he dealt with on a daily basis, and that hit a soft spot; I gave her my incredibly hurt look, to which she hugged me and apologized. In short, we just had a lot of silly fun – Leila and I always did that with each other. I enjoyed it too, because even if it was taken to a different direction this time (i.e. jokes on why James was in love with me), it told me that Leila was still there with me, even if I did kind of ignore her sometimes. That meant more to me than I could ever tell her, and that was a statement of pure fact.
I came back to my dormitory tonight, and I knew that I had to write. I mean, it's been beyond amazing lately – nothing has ever come out so right. Actually, it's all wrong – a few months ago, I wouldn't have ditched my friend for any guy in the universe, and James would never have even been a consideration for a boyfriend – but perhaps that was what made it so right. After all, James was always going to be the right kind of wrong – I was never supposed to love him so fully, or so fixatedly, yet I did anyway, and I adored every minute of it. No one had ever taken the time to completely befuddle me the way he had, but, even after everything I've ever said on the subject, I'm glad he did.
As I leave off this entry, I'd like to make a final statement that sums up these ten days for me: some guys give you flowers to show you they care, some guys buy you extravagant presents every day, and some guys say the sweetest things known to humankind, but it's the guys that exasperate the living hell out of you that you end up falling for. And that is the beautiful, ironic, and utter cruelty nature of life.
James
May 17th
Dear Diary,
I thought I was happy the day I got the letter to come to Hogwarts. I thought I was happy when I got sorted into Gryffindor House and found the three greatest friends anyone could ever have. I thought I was happy when I found that magic was easy for me to do, resulting in more free time to do what I wanted. But I never, ever thought happiness could come better than what I had already experienced – that is, until I met Lily Evans.
I can't even begin to describe how much I feel when I'm with her. It's like nothing can ever be wrong in the world – she is all I see, and everything else goes away for a little while. It's extreme, what I feel for her, and I shouldn't feel like that when I'm only sixteen, but it's real and it's unavoidable. When true love pays you a visit, you need to bloody welcome it into your life and take what it gives you, and that is exactly what I'm going to do.
For ten days now, I've had everything I could have asked for and much more. Lily, the girl who once told me she would sooner eat frog legs than tell me she loved me, has been in my arms or at least near me for at least eight hours every day. We rag on each other a lot, but it's like what I do with Sirius – offending if done with people who don't understand the humor, but natural and incredibly fun for us. I also randomly attack her every so often, making her scream, but she'll usually forgive me for it – she knows I can't help myself.
Probably the strangest part of the whole ordeal is that somehow, Lily has managed to get along with the Marauders as well. Peter has never truly minded her – only because of Sirius did he insult her – and Remus, of course, liked having her around, though not in that way, because I'm going out with her. Sirius either abused her verbally or completely ignored her; he acted on mood, mostly. Lily didn't care about that, however – I knew she didn't because if he said something rude, she'd slap him or tell him to shut the hell up, and then kiss me in front of him to show that she was there to stay. Sirius would grumble for a few minutes about how much she controlled me, but he did get over it – he had to, because I forced him to.
I remember yesterday was one such day; I was sitting in the common room by the fire, with Lily in my lap, playing with her hair, when Sirius bounced over. "James, I want something from the kitchens – do you want to come with me?"
"No, I'm busy," I said absentmindedly.
"You can bring the bitch with you," Sirius said impatiently. "Come on!"
"Oy, I'm not a bitch," Lily objected.
"Yeah, and I'm not Kyleigh's boyfriend," Sirius told her sarcastically.
She made a face at him. "You're so full of shit, it's not even funny."
"Are you going to let her get away with that?" Sirius demanded.
"Sure," I said, continuing to play with her hair.
"Why do you control him so much?" Sirius spat at Lily. "You can make him do just about anything!"
"And what's your problem?" she asked.
"My problem is that you've turned my best friend into a moldable piece of plastic!" he burst out. "He's a Quidditch player, damn it, not some little boy that plays with his girlfriend's hair instead of filches from the kitchens!"
"He can be a Quidditch player who also plays with his girlfriend's hair," Lily countered irritably. "Now go away."
Sirius looked mightily annoyed as he stomped away, but I didn't quite care, because the moment he turned around, she kissed me and told me to kill him next time I saw him.
"He's my best friend, Lil," I said, smiling wryly. "I kind of like him alive, you know?"
She sighed. "Fine, if you insist."
"Thank you." I smiled at her, and that just drove Sirius off the edge – he huffed off to the kitchen by himself. Lily found that funny.
"Why does he care so much about me and you?" she asked. "It's our business, not his."
"He's concerned, really," I told her. "It's kind of hard to understand Sirius if you don't know him as well as I do, but pretty much, he, like you did, doubts that you're going to be enough for me. He thinks that you're going to do something stupid that will offend me and break my heart – he wants to save me from that. That's all."
"It's your life, not his," she insisted. "Shouldn't boundaries mean anything to him?"
"Think of it as Leila trying very unsuccessfully to divert you from something you know is going to work," I said. "You're not going to kill her for interfering because she means well, are you?"
"I suppose." Lily sighed. "But since I'm bothering him so much, why don't you go find him in the kitchens and pig out on whatever you two eat down there? I have some homework left to do."
"You sure?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said. "We've both been neglecting our friends lately."
She was right – unfortunately. Unwillingly, I let go of the lock of her hair I'd been playing with and allowed her to stand up. She kissed me before running upstairs to her dormitory, and I walked leisurely back to the kitchens, my mind full of her again. I nearly ran into Sirius as he came out of the familiar passage I was entering – I was only brought back to earth by him yelling, "Bloody hell, Prongs, watch it!"
"Sirius," I said, my head spinning slightly. "Hey."
"Where's the bitch?" He looked around me, looking for Lily.
I smirked. "She's not a bitch, Sirius – she's Lily, and you'd better learn to like her."
"Never," Sirius said resolutely. "It's not easy to like someone like her – if it weren't for you, she'd end up alone, and for good reason."
"She wouldn't," I said. "Once you care enough to look, she's fantastic. She's just cautious – she doesn't like big risks."
"There's a turn off right there," he said triumphantly. "I'm all for big risks – if a girl I'm dating doesn't like them, I dump her on the spot."
"No you don't – Kyleigh has limits to her risk-taking," I told him.
"Kyleigh is exceptional in both her kissing and her bed skills; I excuse her risk-taking," Sirius informed me. "I like a girl who can keep me interested."
I laughed. "Don't let Moony hear you say that."
"Moony has to learn to deal with these things," Sirius said flippantly, walking outside with me. "I like girls."
"That's a bit of an understatement, wouldn't you say?" I grinned. "Sirius, girls are your life."
Sirius shrugged. "Still."
"What will you do once you run out of girls to shag?"
"I'll move on to the blokes." Sirius chortled at his declaration and my appalled expression. "But that was a joke – I'm not that kind of a person. Girls only."
"Good," I said, disgruntled. "Anyway, the full moon is tonight – are we going to have some midnight fun with the rest of the Marauders tonight?"
"'Course we are, Prongsie, what's the matter with you?" Sirius thumped me on the back of the head. "I think we should do a little more work on the Map too; I want to get this thing done before the O. W. L.'s so that we can at least use it a little bit before the year is over."
"Good idea," I said. "Did you tell Moony and Wormtail?"
"Wormtail, yes, but not Moony," Sirius said. "I couldn't find him anywhere. I think he's hiding from me."
I rolled my eyes. "I doubt he's hiding from you, Padfoot – you're one of his best friends. But we'll tell him later; for now, lets prepare for what we're going to do tonight, all right?"
"Sure." Sirius seemed to like the idea, because he led me to the common room, where he began proudly showing me the blueprint of the Map he and Wormtail (but mostly he) had created. I admitted to being rather impressed, which I was – he'd done a great job on it. Even Remus would agree.
Later on last night, Remus, pale in the face, whispered that it was time to get going. I nodded, found Sirius and Peter, and told them we were on the way to the Shack – Moony was feeling a little scratchy. Peter found my joke quite humorous, although Sirius didn't, and we three transformed once in the cover of darkness on the grounds. Sirius, being the usual cover for Remus, quickly went to his place in front of him, and led all of us to the Whomping Willow, where Peter cleared the way for us to go to the Shack itself. Once in, Remus sat in his favorite corner, waiting tensely for the transformation to go through.
Sirius, despite the fairly edgy mood, brightly announced that he was in the mood for waffles. Remus gave him a look from his corner, but I laughed, and Peter completely agreed.
"How can you be thinking about waffles at a time like this?" Remus asked, his voice strained, but still aggravated.
"Because I'm bloody hungry," Sirius snapped. "And I love waffles."
Remus gives up, because at that point, he began to transform. Sirius watched placidly, while Peter squeaked under a dresser on the side and I backed away a little; I was still not accustomed to gentle little Remus turning into a werewolf.
This time, for our midnight adventure, we had decided upon searching the grounds for passages we might have missed for the Marauder's Map. Peter led the way out of the Shrieking Shack, like always, and we happily wreaked havoc across the grounds. Werewolf-Remus liked stretching his legs out a bit and taking a few laps around the castle, and Sirius and I enjoy the exercise. Peter hates it, but he hates being alone more, so he joins us, huffing and puffing as he goes. Tonight though, when we are by the side, by the Forbidden Forest, a student was walking by – from the looks of it, it was a particularly tiny first year. Worriedly, I looked at Remus, and I could see he was ready to pounce; Remus was never allowed to attack anyone, obviously, and now that he had an opportunity, he was going to try using it.
Sirius barked at me to tell me to restrain Remus, but he tore off before I could catch him. Peter squeaked again with fear, but he was too small to make a difference – Remus would devour him within a swallow if he got too close. That was why it was up to me and Sirius to save the life of that boy, who had no idea how close he was to his own untimely demise.
I jumped onto Remus's back in my enormous stag form, trying to weaken him, and Sirius pushes him away from the front, growling from the effort; Remus was fighting tooth and nail to get out and bite the child.
"Don't let him go," I tried to tell Sirius.
"Obviously not," Sirius howled back at me, and we both drag Remus as far as we can from the forest. We thought it was a close save, when all of a sudden, Remus shot back out at a frightening speed to the boy, who was wandering near the edge of the forest, looking for something or the other.
"Shit," Sirius said in a low rumble as he ran after Remus. I galloped over to them, lingering nearby in case I was needed, but Sirius seemed to be doing fine on his own; he was up on his two hind legs, his front paws holding back Remus's chest. However, Remus didn't even seem to know it was Sirius that was there, keeping him away from a little kid; he just kept fighting back impatiently, trying to move him out of the way. In frustration, Sirius suddenly licked the whole of Remus's wolfy face, much to my and Peter's astonishment. Remus was even stunned – he stopped trying to kick and let Sirius take him away to the Shack again.
The moment werewolf-Remus was safely in a corner with a chair to destroy, I transformed into a human again, calling for Peter and Sirius to as well.
"Sirius, what were you doing back there?" I demanded.
"I had to do something, so I licked him," Sirius said as though this was completely normal. "Worked too, didn't it?"
"Why?" Peter asked, wrinkling his nose with disgust.
"Why wouldn't I?" Sirius was getting quickly agitated. "Look, I don't have time to come with a brilliant plan on the spot – I did whatever I could, and the result was the intended one. Can we stop questioning me?"
I decided to drop it, just because Sirius looked extremely pissed, but that didn't mean Peter didn't. "You're strong, Padfoot," he pointed out. "You could have held him back, and you were – why'd you lick him? If you were human, that would count as a huge snog."
That led to a tremendously awkward silence; Sirius's face resembled hard stone, I was awed that Peter had the nerve to say that, and Peter himself was waiting tentatively to either get an answer or be murdered. After waiting a couple of minutes, Sirius said, "I do not snog blokes. I snog girls only. Are you trying to imply that I'm in love with my best friend?"
"N-no," Peter stammers.
"Good," Sirius said. "Because if you were, I'd have to pummel you into a pulp, because that's disgusting – even for me."
"Of course." Peter gave an unconvincing little smile, but Sirius accepted it and turned to face me.
"What do you say to going inside, getting some ice cream, and then working a little on the Map?" he asked me.
"I'd say yes to the first two, but we should wait and finish the Marauder's Map when Moony is human again," I said. "It doesn't feel right, doing something this huge without him, you know what I mean?"
"I guess," Sirius said grudgingly. "I really want to finish that damn thing – we never do."
"Relax," I said soothingly. "We'll do it. Just wait for the full moon to wane again."
"Yeah, and wait for that bitch Evans to go away," he muttered.
"Can you stop calling her that?" I requested irritably. "She's my girlfriend, and I'm in love with her – leave her alone."
"Whatever." He doesn't bother to even pretend he'll stop calling her a bitch; he just gets up and gestures for me and Peter to follow him, which we do. Then, equipped with three heaping bowls of chocolate ice cream, we went upstairs, ate, and got into bed; it was about three in the morning, and we had to sleep some time. Sirius and Peter were asleep nearly at once, but I stayed up because I was thinking about Lily. I was always thinking about her, but whenever Sirius called her a bitch, I always thought about her more, wondering how she must look to the rest of the world who wasn't in love with her. She would seem melodramatic and kind of annoying, really; that was so weird to think about, because I never thought of her as anything besides my beautiful yet stubborn crush. I didn't care what everyone thought though; she was always going to be everything to me.
That's why I'm happy now – I know that no matter what I do or who I hang out with, Lily is always going to be mine, and I'm always going to be hers. It's never going to be any other way, and, for that, I am eternally grateful that I did something worth receiving a gift like Lily Evans.
I think I am pretty damn lucky that way.
A/N: Like I said before, future updates will be slow, but I do hope you enjoyed this chapter and will review! I like reviews. :P Anyway, thanks for being patient for this one, you guys, I know it was a long wait, but if we're lucky, it won't be quite as long next time.