Chapter Four: House Of Cards

It's so easy to build a life of lies. To make up everything about yourself, your life, until even you become beguiled by the alluring allusion of what you want to be but simply, are not. Of what you want to desperately change, but can not.

You spend your life, waiting for someone to notice that every word you've spoken has been calculated and the real you has never been seen. But what will you do when those lies come scratching out and your own worse enemy is you?

Robin walked outside of the party and on to the balcony. Finally, away from the watchful eyes of her worried friends she could let go, if even for a single moment. She could allow the fake smile to melt off her face and be replaced with something real.

The emotions, the sadness, the pain she felt day in and day out, compelling her to think long and hard about her life and whether it was all actually worth it.

Was it? She paused to think for a moment.

She knew it was, and she shook off the morbid thought that there would ever be a point in her life that she wouldn't feel like living.

She takes a deep breath, trying to think of something lighter instead of focusing on everything that was wrong in her life. She knew that if she dwelled on all her suppressed issues she would break and she couldn't afford to lose herself in that sea of pain, especially now.

Robin feels someone's hands on her shoulders. Startled, she turns around. She's disappointed to see Leo Du Pres because in her heart, she knew she wished it was Patrick.

"I did it, are you happy now?" she says, beyond frustrated that she had to go along with what "They" had done to the life she made for herself in Port Charles.

"It was for the best, Robin," he said prompting her to give into the urge to slap him. As his head harshly snaps back she realizes how much she wanted to make him feel the way she felt. She wanted him to hurt.

"For the best?" she says truly astonished. "For the best would have been all of you leaving me alone and letting me live my life. Letting me be happy for more than two seconds. Why did you make me go through with this? Why couldn't I just live the lie?"

It was amazing how well her lies had covered up who she really was, her past. In all honesty, she wasn't the Robin Scorpio that everyone saw her, and no matter how hard she wished, she could never be her.

But she had come too long, to be truthful when in all honesty her lies had shaped who she was. The lies had become her truth, had become her. She couldn't change that, and for the most part, didn't want too.

"Robin," Leo says, ready to remind her of the urgency of the situation. Yet before he can utter another word, she was gone.

The Bridge

It was then when she saw him, on the bridge in deep thought. She wanted to go up to him and just scream 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it and I sure as hell, never wanted to hurt you. If it means that I'll finally have to let you in, completely this time, I'll give up all my lies for you.'

She wanted to talk to him and tell him everything so badly. She wanted to say and do so much but she couldn't, so she did the only thing she could. She walked away, giving in to the apathy that she was forced to take on as a new part of her life.

He looked at her and though she reciprocated the glance for a moment, they both turned to gaze back down at the water. Their feet swaying as they seemingly toed the line.

He took a leap and decided to grab a lifeline, her hand. In turn she leaned her head on his shoulder. They sat together, precariously, as if with one fatal move, whatever semblance of a moment they were having might forever slip away. Out of their grasp into some unknown place that they might never reach.

"I'm sorry," they both said simultaneously. It was quiet for a moment until he decided to take the initiative and speak.

"I know that I'm supposed to hate you. I'm supposed to think that you're a slut and you're worthless because of everything you've done. I should even be sitting here, should I? But that was the old Patrick, the person that didn't know you, that didn't love you then. Honestly Robin, I could never be him again. I can never stop loving you. Even if I tried. I-"

She cuts him off with a kiss that slowly deepens for what seems like hours but is probably only a minute, maybe two.

"I love you Patrick, and I know you think you love me but you can't. There's no way that someone could ever love Robin Scorpio." Because she doesn't exist, she thinks.

"Don't you ever say that. There's a reason why I fell so hard into love with you. It's the little things, like your laugh, the way you smile, and even the fact that when I look into your eyes I see our future. I want us to work things out, I still want to marry you Robin.

"Let's go home and talk about this, okay?" Robin says as she looks behind her back, worried that someone might be watching.

"That's fine. Let's go."

They take the short walk to their apartment. Once they step in, she leads the way to the couch. She doesn't know what she should tell him or how much so she decides to be blunt and say, "You're probably wondering what happened between us, aren't you? Things were seemingly perfect, normal until I screwed everything up. Honestly Patrick, do you hate me? Because it seems that with everyday that passes, I hate what I've done more and more."

"It doesn't have to be that way Robin. I'm not going to lie and say I don't think that you have some deep, dark secret or say that I don't want to know. With time we can build on it until maybe, one day you can trust me enough to tell me. And if that day never comes, it won't change the way I feel about you. It won't make me love you any less."

What was she supposed to say to that? Rub in her fake affair, crush his hopes with false feelings of apathy or worse, tell the truth? She was supposed to be able to stay detached but something about him and what they shared made it that much harder. She didn't want it to be this way. . .

He kisses her just once, softly, before he decides to hug her. This simple act makes Robin, a woman too often guarded and tough feel vulnerable. They lay together on the couch silently until they begin to drift asleep, deciding that something's- for now- are better left unsaid.

The night goes on, undisturbed until Robin wakes up in a cold sweat screaming. The memories had once again resurface in the vivid nightmare that had tortured her thoughts all too often.

She had killed him, her father.

A/N: Thank you to all the reviewers. You're all amazing and it helps to know what you think, good or bad.