-1"And she actually thought that you guys had done something?" Marco asked, his jaw dropping in shock as he took a bite of his lasagna. I moved the food on my plate back and forth with my fork as I nodded solemnly. "And you guys haven't talked since he left your house yesterday? What are you going to say to him? You've gotta tell him everything, El." He said, obviously concerned. I had to admit, it felt good to actually talk to Marco again. I had interrupted his and Dylan's lunch and told him I needed to talk, and of course he knew it had to be serious so he agreed to eat lunch with me.
"I don't know what I'm going to say, Marco. How am I supposed to tell him? I can't just be like, hey Sean, sorry for not warning you that my mom is a psycho alcoholic. Sorry that I didn't tell you that she didn't even know that I had a boyfriend. Sorry for-"
"Practicing?" I froze, dropping my fork on my tray. Marco looked up from his own plate to see who had joined the conversation and gave me a sympathetic look, confirming the fact that Sean Cameron was standing right behind me. "Uh, Marco, do you think that you could give us some privacy?" Sean asked, sitting across from me in Marco's spot. Marco just nodded and hurried away, he had never been one that was good with conflict. I assumed he didn't want to be around if we started fighting. "So, Emma would be pretty pissed if she saw you eating that food. She's protesting the cafeteria food again, you'd better watch out." He joked, but I didn't even crack a smile.
"Sean, why don't we just get this over with. I screwed up, I'm sorry, have a good life." I said, getting up and throwing my untouched food away. I'd been too into telling Marco everything that I hadn't bothered to eat anything, and now seeing Sean had made me lose my appetite.
"So that's it? You're saying sorry and giving up?" He asked, following me out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. I angrily did my combination and messed it up, adding even more to my frustration. I kicked it and crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against it. "It's just…why didn't you tell me about your mom? I didn't even know and I guess seeing her like that…" He stopped, kicking at the floor. "I just wish you would have told me. I'm sorry for acting kind of crazy yesterday."
"Well how was I supposed to tell you, Sean? Hi, I'm Ellie Nash and my mother is an alcoholic. Oh yeah sure I'll be your girlfriend but I'm not going to tell my mom or she'd go completely psycho!" I said sarcastically, turning back to my locker to redo the combination. This time I got it and rummaged through my entire locker until I finally found a rubber band. I quickly slid it onto my wrist and snapped it a few times, wincing as it made contact with my bruised wrist. I'd really done a number on it last night; who knew rubber bands could do so much damage?
"No, you didn't have to tell me like that but…I don't know. It's just I know what you're going through, I've been there before." He admitted, throwing me a concerned look because I was snapping my rubber band again. I looked up at him and noticed he had shoved his hands into his pockets, a sure signal that he was uncomfortable. My mouth dropped in shock a little, but I tried to pull myself together.
"You mean, your mom was a-" I started, unable to finish. "God, I am such an idiot; I had no idea." I said, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. He put his hand up to stop me from apologizing.
"And that is why I don't tell people, I don't want sympathy. Why do you think I came to Degrassi in the first place? Tracker and I live alone, my parents are still alcoholics and we didn't want to live with it anymore." He said, leaning against the locker next to mine. "So trust me, I know what it's like to be embarrassed. I know what it's like to not want to tell people but just remember, I know what you're going through."
"So, does this mean you're not mad?" I asked, somewhat hopeful. He shook his head and my smile quickly turned into a frown. How could he still be mad at me after he just got done telling me he knew what I was going through? Talk about a walking contradiction. I shot him a confused look as he grabbed my hand in his, looking at me seriously.
"I'm mad that you let her treat you like shit. Do you always let people walk all over you like that? I mean, she hit you and you acted like it didn't even matter. You just stood there and took it, Ellie. You've gotta stand up for yourself once and awhile, ya know?" He said, examining the side of my face where my mother had taken her anger out on me. I sighed and pushed his hands away from me.
"Sean, you can't blame her for what she does when she's drunk. And don't even try to tell me that I didn't ask for it by getting in her face like I did." I paused, feeling bad for fighting with him when obviously, he was just trying to help. "Okay, look I don't want to argue about this so let's just drop it for now." I said, lacing my fingers through his. "How about I make it up to you, I'll come over tonight for a study session. I'll tell my mom I'm studying at Ashley's, it'll work."
"There is one problem though, I don't study." He said, smirking at me. I laughed and pushed him gently against the lockers behind us. He raised and eyebrow, obviously enjoying how close our bodies were.
"Neither do I." I said, leaning in for a kiss. Our lips were centimeters away from touching when the lunch bell rang, signaling that lunch had ended. Kids and teachers filed out into the hallway everywhere, I pulled away from Sean blushing. "We'll continue our study session later." I whispered, grabbing my stuff for Chemistry and slowly walking away with my head held somewhat higher. My day was going a lot better than I had expected it to.