-1Author's Note: Thanks so much for your reviews! I know I don't usually write more than one chapter a night but I'm just itching to write more right now to get my mind off of things so hopefully it's still good. Oh and Sean may seem a bit OOC but hey, I wanted to write him like this so oh well. This is just how I imagine him when he's not trying to be all tough and bad-boy. :o) ------------------------------------
"I'm here to study, as promised." I smiled as Sean let me in his house. He grinned too, pulling me closer to him as we made our way to the couch. "As far as the rest of the world knows, I'm studying at Ashley's right now."
"Oh yeah, and what are you studying?" He asked, pulling me down on the couch with him. I leaned in and brushed my lips against his and moved to his ear, whispering in it.
"Math…You plus me equals-" We leaned in at the same time, sharing a long kiss, almost too long.
"Hey, Sean, oh!" Tracker said, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw us kissing on the couch together. I blushed again and slid away from Sean to the other side of the couch.
"Always equals interruptions." I finished, feeling completely embarrassed that Tracker had caught us making out. Sean shot him a glare and ran a hand through his messy hair, obviously irritated. "Hi Tracker." I said, trying to act as if nothing had happened.
"Hey Ellie, uh I just wanted to tell you guys I was going out for the night but now I'm not so sure I should. You guys may need some supervision the way it looks." He laughed, making me turn an even deeper shade of red. Sean rolled his eyes and motioned for him to get out.
"Sorry, El. Just when we're getting somewhere something has to happen to distract us." He whined, pulling me back in his lap. I laughed and went in to continue our kiss once I knew that Tracker had left for the night. After a few minutes, we separated out of breath. "I'm hungry." He said, getting up and heading towards the kitchen.
"Uh, should I take that as a compliment or an insult?" I asked, following him to the kitchen. He rummaged through the cupboards but came up empty-handed. His face suddenly lit up as if he had a great idea and he opened the fridge, pulling out a box of leftover pizza and a carton of chocolate milk. "Pizza and chocolate milk?" I asked, making a face.
"Hey, chocolate milk goes with everything!" He laughed, leading me back out to the couch. "I hope you like sausage, it's mine and Tracker's favorite." He said, handing me a piece of cold pizza. I nodded, sausage was my favorite as well. After a few seconds, he grabbed the carton of milk and I realized he hadn't grabbed any glasses for us. I looked at him in awe as he opened the carton and drank straight from it. After a few seconds he set it down, noticing that I was staring at him. "What?"
"You just drank out of there. No glass?" I asked, trying not to laugh at his milk mustache. He looked back at me in shock.
"You are telling me you've never drank straight from the carton?" He asked, laughing at me. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying not to laugh as I shook my head. "Here, you've gotta try it. Live on the edge, El." He teased, handing me the carton of chocolate milk. I gave him a disgusted face but couldn't refuse his puppy dog eyes. I held it up to my lips but couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculously crazy we were being. "Come on, just do it!" He laughed, tipping it up for me. I got a half of a swallow in my mouth and the rest ran down my face and soaked my shirt.
"Sean!" I yelled, trying my hardest to stop laughing. He shook his head, grabbing the carton back from me and setting it down on the table next to the pizza box. He grabbed a towel and wiped my chocolate mustache-well, more like a waterfall-off of my face. I laughed and grabbed it from him, trying to dry my now-stained shirt. "So much for living on the edge."
"Hey, it just means you need some practice." He teased, taking a bite of his pizza. I laid down on the couch, my head on his lap as I started on my second pizza slice. Sean ran his hand through my hair, and it was soothing. I didn't know why, but guys always had a thing for my hair. They always said they loved the way it felt and the way that it smelled but I couldn't tell a difference between my and anybody else's hair besides the wild shade of auburn that it was.
"Sean, you know my deep, dark secret now. Actually you know more than one, so why don't I know any of your secrets?" I asked, looking up at him. He shrugged, finishing his pizza.
"I don't know, I guess I didn't think you were that interested." I looked at him expectantly, hoping that he would continue. "If I tell you mine, will you tell me yours?" He asked, looking a bit skeptical of telling me.
"You already know my worst secret." I lied, fidgeting a little. He must have picked up on it right away because he just sat here, staring at me as if he didn't believe me. I rolled my eyes and sighed, nodding. "Fine, if you tell me yours I will tell you mine, okay? Fair enough?" He nodded, but still looked uncomfortable.
"You know, I don't know why I'm telling you this, I haven't told anybody at Degrassi this…" He paused, making me want to know more. I sat up, looking him in the eyes as I tried to figure out his secret. "So back in Wasega, I was kind of the rebel at my school." He started, scratching his head.
"Surprise surprise, Sean Cameron the rebel?" I said, trying to lighten the mood and relax him a little. He laughed a little but then got serious again.
"Well I got into this fight with a kid in my grade, his name was Tyler. He was really getting to me, he was saying stuff about my family and shit and before I knew it we were throwing punches. I guess it went a little too far, because I-" He stopped, beginning to tap his fingers on his lap. "And then I made him deaf in one ear." I looked at him in shock, he was obviously serious about this.
"Yeah, but I mean it wasn't your fault or anything. I mean, he was talking about your family…you had to do something, right?" I stuttered, wringing my hands nervously. He shook his head, putting his feet up on the coffee table in front of him.
"That doesn't give me the right to make somebody deaf in one ear, El." He said softly. I mentally kicked myself for even bringing this subject up, boy did I know how to ruin a night? This was the first time in my life that I had ever seen a guy so vulnerable and the fact that this guy was Sean was even more bizarre. I could have sworn I saw a tear in his eye, but no, it had to be the lights reflecting off of them. Sean wouldn't be that vulnerable, especially in front of someone. "Okay, well there you go. Now spill yours, Nash." He said, trying to give me a small smile.
"I already told you mine." I repeated again, shifting uncomfortably. When I made the deal with Sean I hadn't actually thought he'd spill something so personal. I thought he'd say something about him stealing or maybe going to prison once for toilet papering a house…but not that kind of a secret. I groaned softly when he looked at me expectantly, wanting me to give him mine. "Fine, but if you tell anybody this… and you have to promise me that you won't treat me any differently." I said, trying to warn him.
"Yeah, of course. You know I won't judge you, I don't care what it is." He said, pulling me closer to him. I rested my head against his shoulder and took a deep breath, rolling up my left sleeve. Of course there were cuts from a few days ago but that wasn't what I was showing him. I pointed to a deep scar that ran all the way across my wrist.
"That one there, I did that before I moved here to Degrassi." I started, looking at him to try and read his expression. He nodded slowly, waiting for me to go on. "I tried to- I tried to kill myself." I sighed, it was like a weight had been lifted. "And that wasn't the first time I'd tried, I'd tried one other time with some of my mom's prescription pills but it didn't work, my dad found me passed out on the floor of my room." Tears burned my eyes and I was too ashamed to look up at Sean to see his expression. We both stayed silent for a few minutes until he cleared his throat.
"I'm glad you told me. I know it may not mean a lot to you or whatever, but it's like I can trust you more than other people, ya know?" He asked, running his fingertips up and down the scars on my arm. I smiled gently and looked up at him, nodding.
"I know the feeling." I said, sitting up and pulling down my sleeve. Why had I told him? He was the first person that I ever told about these attempts, and I mean the first. Not Marco. Not Ashley. Not Mrs. Sauvé. Nobody but Sean. I shook my head, bringing him in for a kiss. "Okay, enough studying history. Let's go back and review our math lesson." I smiled, knowing this time there would be no interruptions.