A/N: It's the holiday season!!! The time when candy canes of the world unite!!! Sorry about the long wait. I'll try to get this story moving again as fast as I can. Please enjoy!

PS. Kowai means 'scary'. Honto kowai means 'really scary'. FYI.

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Inui Salt

3

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Echizen Ryoma and Ryuzaki Sakuno were waiting for their meal to arrive. Sakuno, uncomfortable with the silence, tried to make light conversation.

"Ano…Ryoma-kun…how was your day?" asked Sakuno in a quiet voice.

"It was fine," Ryoma replied vaguely as he stared out the window. I wonder if ordering one burger was enough. Maybe I should have ordered two. But then Sakuno might explode since she's ordering the same as me. She better appreciate the fact I'm sacrificing my stomach for her.

Unaware of Ryoma's silent debate, Sakuno ploughed on.

"Ano…what did you do today?"

"Tennis."

"Oh…what sort of tennis?" asked Sakuno, hoping he would elaborate.

Unfortunately, Ryoma didn't possess the mental capacity to understand what she meant. Instead, he raised his eyebrows and said, "The sort of tennis where you hit a tennis ball with a tennis racquet."

Sakuno squirmed in her seat. What am I doing wrong? Is he trying to tell me he's not interested? Is he actually seeing someone else? No, Ryoma-kun wouldn't do something like that. Maybe my grandma is paying him to go out with me…that would explain why he's so disinterested…

Sakuno sighed. She knew she was being silly. After all, she'd already cornered her grandma five times, sent Tomo-chan to spy for her and snooped around the house and grandma's office just to be sure. Still, it would be nice if her date actually paid attention to her. Ryoma-kun baka!

"Echizen baka!" Momoshiro muttered angrily. "What insanity overcame our buchou to let this thick-headed shorty join our team?"

"Nya, maybe our buchou is thick-headed too!"

"Eiji!"

"Gomen gomen Oishi!!!"

"This lack of endorphins to Echizen's cerebrum may coincide with a lack of carbohydrates in his system," concluded Inui as he pushed up his glasses.

"Na…ni?" The rest of the team stared at him dumbfounded.

"He means that Echizen's lack of enthusiasm may be due to a lack of energy," explained Fuji.

"Oh."

"And to solve that," continued Inui, "allow me to introduce you to my latest invention…Inui Salt!!!" He held up a small vial of grey powder."

"Kowai…"

"Honto kowai…"

"Suddenly the room seems so dark and cold…"

"Nya, Inui's developed a new killing device!"

"Can food even come in that colour?"

"I want my mummy!!!"

"What did you just say Mamushi?"

"Uh…I love honey…"

"This is going to be fun!"

"Nya, Fuji kowai!"

"Honto kowai…"

"The room is getting even darker and colder!!!"

"Now all we have to do," continued Inui, cutting off the Seigaku team members' cry for help, "is sprinkle this into Echizen's food when nobody's looking. This will immediately boost Echizen's energy to a sufficient level for dating."

"Either that or kill him," Momoshiro muttered to himself.

"But Sakuno-chan ordered the same thing," pointed out Oishi, "what happens if she eats the infected burger instead?"

In that case, she'll have so much energy and confidence that it'll either rub off onto Echizen or scare him off, thus directing all of his attention on his tennis training."

"Either that or kill her," muttered Momoshiro.

Fuji smiled sadistically. "Well, what are we waiting for?" he chirped happily. "Let's get moving!"

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reviewed! Please keep reviewing. Also, does anyone remember how the Seigaku team members address Sakuno? If you do, please tell me! Thanks!!!

PS. Hopefully no one will die of Inui Saltation in the next chapter…