Chapter 6
The next morning, Brennan woke up to her bedroom filled with bright sunshine. She felt better than she expected and had tolerated worse as aches and pains were still there if she moved wrong. Thankfully, the anguished emotions of yesterday were gone.
She looked across the room and was surprised to see Booth asleep in the recliner where she did most of her reading and writing. He was covered with the quilt she kept draped over the back of the chair. She wondered why he was there and suddenly it came to her. She remembered having a nightmare last night, a recurring one from the time just after her parents had disappeared when she was fifteen. She had a lot of problems sleeping as a teen. It was usually brought on by stress and she had certainly had enough to warrant it. This one, however, ended differently. She had seen her mother who told her to find her sister, Beth. How can she have a sister, Brennan wondered?
The next thing she remembered was waking up from the dream to find herself in Booth's arms. The rest all came back to her in waves of vivid detail. She had felt safe in his arms after being frightened by her dream. She remembered strongly wanting to kiss him…and then she did… they did….a lot. At the time, it all seemed dream-like but the fact that she could remember every detail told her that the part with Booth, at least, couldn't be a dream but had actually happened. Even details of dreaming about her mother were fading. She could still feel the warmth of his touch on her lips. No doubt, last night Booth heard her calling out and came running.
She knew, this time, she wasn't going to get away with passing this experience off as "nothing" and "totally sexless". Maybe she could try something like "emotional and physical release after trauma but otherwise meaningless".
No, she knew it was time to be honest about herself to Booth. If he was the man she believed him to be, their partnership would be okay and maybe they could go back to being "just friends" without too much fuss. He needed to understand why it was difficult for her to express herself about emotions and why she reacted to certain things in a seemingly odd way. She accepted the fact that he was important to her and affected her deeply. She just didn't know what to do about it.
He had an amazing ability to tell when people were lying or avoiding the truth and she probably wouldn't get away with trying to, anyway. She had watched him interview too many people to doubt that. He could read people so well and understood their motivations. She had learned a lot from watching him over the years they had worked together.
She needed to think and decided a quick hot shower would help ease her bruised muscles and confused mind. She had a million thoughts that ran circles in her mind and tried to logically sort them out.
Booth woke up to the sounds of the shower and seeing an empty bed, knew where Bones was. He was a bit stiff from sleeping in the chair but it was actually more comfortable than he had expected. He got up, stretched, folded the quilt and returned it to the back of the chair. Returning to the guest room, he changed his clothes and went into the kitchen to start coffee and something for breakfast.
While he waited for the coffee to brew and bread to toast, he thought about what had happened with Brennan last night. He didn't know if Brennan would wake up remembering anything had happened at all. If she did, would she decide to ignore it? Should he bring it up if she didn't? Was it the right time to deal with something new in their relationship? He decided if he got any inkling that she remembered, he wouldn't be able to let it pass. He knew this could cause problems if not handled properly.
Booth was surprised to see how refreshed and relaxed Brennan seemed when she came out to the kitchen. As expected, she was dressed for work in a casual but classy outfit of pants, light sweater and dark blazer. He handed her a cup of coffee and offered some toast.
"Well, you look like you're feeling much better today," said Booth with one of his trademark heart melting smiles.
"Yes, I am, thank you." said Brennan with what she hoped was a bright smile of her own. She made herself comfortable at the breakfast bar and sat next to Booth.
"Did you want anything more for breakfast? I make great omelettes," offered Booth.
"No thanks," replied Brennan, "Coffee and toast is usually all I do for breakfast. Thanks for making it."
"You're welcome," replied Booth, not sure if this exchange of small talk was suspicious or not.
Brennan looked at Booth and gathered her courage to ask "Why did you slept in my room last night?" Now that the question was out, she was unsure if she was ready for the answer.
"Do you remember waking up from a nightmare or something last night?" said Booth, responding with his own question as he watched her carefully for any clues to what she might remember.
"I had one of those dreams I used to have after my parents disappeared. Wolves chase me through the woods until I wake up screaming. I'm always terrified of something but when I wake up, I can never remember why," explained Brennan, not yet ready to reveal the "meeting her Mom" part of her dream.
"I heard you scream and ran in to check on you. Something had you upset. You were thrashing about so much I was afraid you might hurt yourself. When you settled down, I decided to stay just in case," replied Booth, "That's usually what I do when Parker has nightmares."
Brennan hesitated a moment, made her decision and reached over to cover his hand with her own and looked into Booth's eyes.
"Thank you, Booth, for being there for me. Yesterday was very overwhelming. There's a couple of things you don't know about yet but I'll get to them in a minute. I know something happened between us last night. I woke up from my dream and you were there," she said, watching him intently and then looked away for a second, before she forced herself to look at him.
"Yes, something did. I didn't know if you were really awake," said Booth, cautiously.
"Well, mostly awake. I don't regret what happened. It was a lot like the times I would hug you when I was scared of something. You always make me feel safe, Booth, and I can't imagine my life without you, but there's something about me that you don't know. Angela knows but I've never told anyone else. Do you know what Asperger's syndrome is?" Brennan began, nervously.
Booth knew that he had heard about this before but couldn't quite place it. Then it came to him. He thought about some of Bones' odd behavior and things started to click into place. Her awkward social skills, the focus on brain chemistry to explain emotions as physical reactions, from sex to motherhood, often brought up in conversation at odd times and difficulties with relationships all seemed to make sense in the context of this new information.
"Yes, it took me a moment but now I remember. When Rebecca was pregnant, she started doing all this research into parenting and childcare. Sometimes, she would get paranoid about something going wrong with the baby. One of her friends, from the childbirth classes we went to, told her about a family member whose baby was autistic. She started reading up on this and anything else she thought of and kept giving me things to read, expecting me to be able to keep up with her. I remember Asperger's is a related condition to autism," explained Booth. "Is that what you're trying to tell me? That you have this?"
"That's what all the doctors told my parents. I was a difficult child and there were a few things that caused my parents to worry about what might be wrong with me. I was easily frustrated and often lashed out when I didn't understand something or was misunderstood. I didn't get along with other kids very well. I was very clumsy and always had bumps and bruises. That's also when I first got interested in bones. I would bring home dead animals and my mother would freak out when she found them. I had collections of them all over the house."
"For a few years after I started school, I was taken to one doctor or psychologist after another. They drove me crazy telling me how I was supposed to feel about one thing or another. In their opinion, my brain wasn't working the way everyone else's did, like I was broken and needed fixing.
They finally settled on labelling me as having a mild case of Asperger's and sent me to special classes until I started high school. To help my coordination, I started dance lessons which I hated. My parents let me choose martial arts instead when I was ten years old. I've been doing that ever since," Brennan continued with her story.
She stood up shakily from the kitchen bar to ease her cramped muscles. Booth steadied her by putting a hand on her shoulder and stood up himself. Booth was thankful that she had trusted him enough to tell him about this difficult part of her childhood. As if losing her parents wasn't bad enough, she had to deal with all of this as well. He pulled Brennan gently into his arms.
"Thank you for telling me, Bones," Booth said. Brennan stepped back enough to look into his eyes.
"Booth, last night...what happened between us...I don't want you to think I expect anything to change because of it. I don't process feelings well. That's why I reduce things to their physical equivalent. Sexual attraction is understandable but being "in love" doesn't make sense. I can't tell the difference. I'm not good at personal relationships when they become full of expectations. I don't pick up on things everyone else seems to be able to do automatically."
"I know I care about you but I won't let anything jeopardize our work and our being partners. I've worked too hard to build my life. Besides you said you didn't want to be involved with someone you worked with. Isn't that why you broke things off with Cam?" said Brennan, her courage began to falter and her knees felt weak again, thankful for Booth's gentle grip of her arms.
Booth knew what saying all of this had cost her emotionally. Not able to resist any further, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently. Now came his turn. He took her hand and led her to the sofa so they could talk more comfortably. He knew she would need to sit down again due to her injuries. He retrieved their coffees and returned to sit beside Brennan. As she made her way to the sofa, she grabbed her handbag from where she dropped it last night and dug out Anna's picture.
"Bones, I have no regrets either. You're right, our jobs are important and we work well together. I don't want that to change. Nothing else has to change either, if that's what you want. What's important now is that you know how I feel about you. I don't know where this will lead any more than you do. Understanding your childhood helps figure out some of your mysteries," Booth said with a smile, "but it doesn't change how I feel."
"When that bastard Epps used Parker for his twisted game, I lost my perspective and Cam almost died. I felt out of control and thought I needed to stay detached to keep the people I cared about safe. I respect Cam and we are still good friends, but I was never in love with her. When you didn't go away with Sully, I was happy we could still be partners. I didn't want to lose that but your decision had to be up to you. All I could do was support whatever you wanted. When you didn't go, I was happy I wouldn't have to share you with him, though. I guess I'm not as afraid now as I was about taking a chance."
"Looks like a year in therapy has done you good even though you now know my real reasons for hating psychology," Brennan said with a smile, hoping to lighten the mood. Booth laughed, returning a smile of his own.
"Yeah, maybe. I'm glad I don't have to hide this anymore. It's been driving me crazy ever since Caroline conned you into kissing me under that mistletoe," said Booth.
"Booth, I'm not ready to change our friendship into something else. Love is supposed to be forever and I don't think I can do that," pleaded Brennan.
"It's okay, really," reassured Booth, disappointed but knowing full well the challenge he had set himself up for. He certainly wasn't going to give up but knew he had to take this as slow as he could. It might take a very long time before Bones could trust her own feelings for him, but he could wait. The best things in life were worth waiting for. He leaned over, gave Brennan one of his sexiest most adoring smiles and kissed her chastely on the forehead.
"Now," Booth asked," Was there something else you wanted to tell me? Do you have something to show me?" pointing to the folded piece of paper Brennan held in one hand and knowing they had other issues to deal with.
"I imagine Angela told you all about what happened at the bookstore before the explosion," Brennan's smile sobered and handed Anna's picture to him. "I just don't know what to think or what to do about this."
Without looking at the picture just yet, he said, "Yes, Angela told me. I know you both went in because Angela decided on a whim to have your fortunes told. It is amazing that this little girl knew so many details about you and your family. You and Angela were probably random victims of the bomb but until we know that you weren't targets, I'm telling Cam to increase security at the Jeffersonian. You'll also have someone following you wherever you go. If I can take care of other issues, that'll be me. If not, I'll get someone else assigned to follow you." He gave Brennan a look that she instantly recognised and understood. There was no point in objecting to the extra security. They didn't know enough about this situation to know what to expect.
He unfolded the drawing to reveal the scene of a family of five having a picnic in a garden. It wasn't perfect, but the detail was impressive, let alone taking into account the artist's age. The woman, meant to be the mother of the family, was shown with shoulder length brown hair and wearing a blouse and skirt with a wide belt and large buckle that looked like it had a fish on it. The main shocker of this picture was that the woman held a baby. The rest of the picture was as expected with a man, an older boy and a young girl standing together.
"Wow. It's obviously supposed to be your family. Did your parents have a third child?" said Booth.
"I have no idea. Not that I ever knew. I need to call the prison to arrange a visit with my father, and Russ too if they will let us. Do you think they would allow me to see both of them together?" she asked.
Booth shrugged and said, "All you can do is ask. You do have more privileges than the ordinary visitor."
"Booth, Ummm…last night, during my dream…my mother was there. She said I would understand once I found someone called Beth. She told me Beth was my sister," said Brennan, incredulously. "Booth, how is this possible. Nothing has ever happened like this to make me believe in this kind of thing before. I never felt my mother's presence after the time, we now know, she was dead."
"I don't know, Bones. You know I'm not comfortable with this stuff, either. I know the FBI and other agencies have used psychics before and very successfully, in some cases, but I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help this time," Booth said regretfully. "Go ahead and call the prison. Maybe your dad can make some sense out of all this. Who knows how Anna Maisson fits into this. I need to check in to the office, too. Maybe there is something new."
While Brennan made her own set of phone calls to the prison and the lab, Booth checked on Anna's condition as well as the trace on her family and the rest of the investigation.
"Good news about Anna, Bones. She's awake and doing well. She has been asking about you and Angela. She already knows about her mother somehow. She's sad, of course but otherwise okay. Probably overheard a nurse or someone talk about it. Her grandmother in New Orleans has been contacted and will be arriving as soon as it can be arranged," said Booth, starting off with the news Bones would be happiest to hear first when they had both finished their calls.
"I'm so glad she's awake and she has family coming to be with her. I'll take Angela with me when I go to visit her today," said Brennan.
"Are you okay to drive yourself or would you like to tag along with me today?" asked Booth, hoping to have an easier job of keeping tabs on his independent partner.
"I'll be fine, really," Brennan said with a reassuring smile but noted his disappointment. "I need to see Dad and Russ alone. They approved a visit for this afternoon. Depending on how things go at the lab, I'll plan to visit Anna before I go out to the prison."
"Well, I'll have to drive you out to the Institute. I had someone move your car over there after the scene had been cleared for the public yesterday," informed Booth.
After a few minutes to collect their things, they left the apartment to begin their respective tasks. When Booth dropped Brennan at the lab, he wanted so much to kiss her but knew he had to be patient and follow the expected on-the-job proprieties. They exchanged warm smiles instead and agreed to meet later that day at the lab.