Hey all! One more chapter for your literary pleasures--geez, how corny is that?! Anyways, here's where we find out exactly what Hawkes is up to--any guesses? Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing from Halo.
Chapter Thirteen: Heart-to-Heart
His musings were interrupted when the door to the conference room opened, revealing a familiar green-flecked gaze. Jessica stared at him through the doorway, and he swore she had a sad look on her face. Something's happened. The "parent" in him wanted to do something, anything, to get that sad look out of her eyes, but the colonel in him said to wait until she'd said her piece.
"Sir, respectfully, we need to talk."
Whenever Jessica opened a conversation like that, it usually meant trouble regarding a mission. She'd only done that a few times, and each time she'd been right on the dot with her statements, whether it was an assessment of the mission participants or notifying him of risks that had been overlooked. Judging by that sad look on her face, something serious is going on, Ackerson mused.
"All right, Lieutenant. Say what's on your mind."
She took a breath, then pasted a smile on her face. "To start with, I think the cook on the Athens has been neglecting his duties. He's not very good at his job—I caught him adding something to the rations on the way back."
"Oh?" Ackerson raised an eyebrow, a nonverbal signal for her to continue.
"I took a look around his kitchen at one point. Turns out he can't cook at all, and the rations themselves are being substituted for lower-quality items. He compensates by adding various pharmaceuticals in the rations to boost the nutritional value. The end result is a bad-tasting meal, a potentially fatal health problem for the crew, and very unhappy people all around." Jessica flinched when his eyes narrowed; it took a lot for him to lose his temper when she was in the room, and the fact that he was irritated now spelled no good.
"I'll order a full investigation. The crew on the Athens is one of my best, and if they're not being taken care of, and possibly poisoned, I'm not about to let that go so lightly." Ackerson took a deep breath, trying to rein in his temper.
"Sir, there's more." Jessica hesitated. "You may want to sit down for this."
----
"You may want to sit down for this."
The minute the words were out of her mouth, Jessica knew there was no going back. She needed to tell him now, as much as she would have loved to avoid doing so.
"What's wrong, Hawkes?" He's not going to like this. She knew that steely look meant trouble.
"There was some trouble during the mission, something I didn't put in the report. I'm aware that an omission of mission details is grounds for disciplinary action, but I had to omit this." She took a deep breath, then related the incidents in the caverns on Olympus, and the confrontation in her quarters on the Athens.
"This was the only thing you omitted from the mission report?" He doesn't seem angry at all. Still, she couldn't look him in the eye.
"That's the only thing I left out, sir. And we both know why I did. You had to have guessed I was fascinated by him, at the very least, and yet you still paired us for a mission."
"I put you two together because I wanted to prove to them that I hadn't made a mistake. This was unexpected, Hawkes." The colonel glanced around the room and then focused on her. His face softened a bit, and she recognized the parent in him coming out.
"Jessica, I didn't expect that you'd fall for a Spartan, but even if I did I wouldn't have done anything differently. You needed this mission to prove to ONI that you aren't a mistake." One hand rested on her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. You're not making this any easier, she thought sadly.
"And yet this mission proved the opposite, Colonel. I gave in to my emotions on Olympus, emotions that I should've learned to push aside a long time ago. Granted, we were in a relatively safe situation, but what if I allow myself to lose focus in the middle of a potentially lethal situation? Can ONI really afford to take that chance? Can you?"
Jessica stepped away from him, looking him in the eye for the first time through their conversation. "I'll have my resignation on your desk tomorrow morning."
As she headed for the door, Ackerson's voice stopped her in her tracks. "Is this really what you want, Jessica?"
Turning, she answered, "It's what I need." Then, without a backward glance, she left.
----
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Yes, Master Chief, take a seat." John sat down stiffly, watching as the ONI colonel sorted through various papers on his desk. Picking up one paper, the man frowned and passed it to the petty officer.
"What do you make of this, Master Chief?" Ackerson's tone was carefully neutral as John scanned the documentation. It appeared to be a resignation…
"Lieutenant Hawkes?" he asked in disbelief; for a Spartan to openly display surprise, or any emotion for that matter, was extremely rare.
"Yes, that's her signature. She turned in her resignation shortly after the two of you got back from Olympus. Now I have a feeling as to why she did it, but I want to see if you have any ideas as to why." Ackerson stared him in the face. "Master Chief, what happened on that planet that made her run with her tail between her legs?"
"It…," the Chief hesitated. "It didn't start on the planet, sir."
"Oh? Then when did it start?"
"On the Athens, sir. I think it started when I ran into her quarters, thinking she was being attacked."
Surprisingly, Ackerson chuckled. "She was shadowboxing, I take it?"
"Yes, sir. I guess things escalated from that point. Then on Olympus, I started feeling things, especially when she was shot. And when we were in the caverns, she kissed me."
A thoughtful look crossed the ONI officer's features. "So she made the first move. I assume you didn't respond in kind."
"Actually, sir, I did." John forced himself to look at the older man, wondering why he felt so embarrassed. "I accidentally brushed her wound, and if I hadn't then we wouldn't have stopped. Afterwards, she tried to distance herself, she said she'd make sure nothing happened to me."
"And she did so. Her official report made no mention of any of this, Master Chief. She told me in private, just before she turned in her resignation. Her excuse was that she could no longer control her emotions, and while it's a valid excuse, I wonder if she's not running away."
"Is she, sir?"
"It's possible. Plus she never did take to the black ops mindset. She could've just gotten fed up altogether." Ackerson sighed, and John couldn't help but notice how old the colonel suddenly seemed. "Once she turned in her resignation, she vanished. No one knows where she went, no one's seen her. I doubt anyone will find her unless she wants them to."
"I believe it," John nodded. "After seeing her on Olympus, her being able to disappear comes as no surprise."
A faint smile crossed Ackerson's face. "She wasn't always that skilled. Used to be she couldn't even sneak to the kitchen to raid the cookie jars. Jessica came so far, and I can't guess why she just ran away from it."
"I can answer that, Colonel," a female voice echoed through the room; a moment later Cortana materialized on a nearby holopad. Snapping her fingers, she played a recording taken from Hawkes' quarters on the Athens:
"I'm sorry, John, but I can't do it. You can't know, you weren't supposed to know. And I hope you never find out exactly how much…no, you'll never know." A deep sigh preceded the woman's next words: "Soon as I get back to Earth I'm out of here."
"Looks like she figured it was a lost cause, and decided to cut and run while she could. Frankly, I can't blame her for being scared, with the UNSC's policies on relationships, coupled with ONI locking everything down." The AI looked around the room, gazing rather sharply at Ackerson, John noticed. "I'm surprised she didn't go to you for help."
"Jessica hates it when I bail her out, she prefers to handle things herself when she can. Even when her father died, she shut everyone else out." Ackerson suddenly looked at the formidable pair. "Master Chief, Cortana, I want you two to find her."
"Why can't you find her?" Cortana asked pointedly.
"Because she knows all of ONI's tricks, and you probably have a few originals. Besides, ONI would just as soon I not find her, for obvious reasons." The colonel looked at them, almost pleadingly. "I'm asking you, as kind of a father figure. Find her."
----
The Blue Ridge Mountains rose up in the background, framing a bustling city. She walked through the main plaza, arms full of groceries, trying to find her apartment. I've been here for over a week and I still can't find my own home, she thought in disgust, shifting her load once again.
There was a commotion in the local town hall. Pausing outside, she froze when she heard a familiar gravelly voice giving a lecture on weapon safety to the local cops. Oh shit! Did he find me? Does he even know I'm here? She hurried away from the town hall and headed for her apartment as best she could. Once she managed to locate her apartment, opening the door with shaking hands, she set her groceries down.
Does he know? The question ran through her mind like nothing she'd ever known, except her feelings during the Olympus mission. No, don't think about it, it'll only bring you grief. Besides, even if he knew, he'd never recognize me. She headed for the bathroom, not even glancing at the red-haired reflection in the mirror.