'Twas the Night Before Christmas—Atlantis Style!
By Deana Lisi

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone from SGA or the original 'Night Before Christmas' poem! The 'rum' thing was inspired from 'Pirates of the Caribbean', which I also don't own.

LOL hope you all enjoy this silly thing! Merry Christmas! ;)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Atlantis,
most of the scientists were hiding; all pantless.
Spiked egg nog had made the cleaners all drunk,
so into the bleach, much clothing got dunked.

Carson was glad; beige clothes he disliked,
so now some gray uniforms; get them he might!
Also drunk was he, because he didn't know,
that Rodney had poured lots of rum in the bowl!

They laughed as they stumbled their way down the hall,
while others all passed them, having a ball.
"Rodney," he slurred, as he looked at his friend,
"Sheppard's room is just around the next bend."

"Do you think he's there? I didn't see him before,"
asked Rodney, as they made their way to the door.
"Dunno," Carson said. "But it would no' be right,
fer him ta no' get some…it really tastes nice!"

He took one more sip of the rum-nog he held,
tried tapping the door, but got his bell-rung instead.
For Rodney had oddly tripped over himself,
and knocked Carson down, where he fell with a yelp.

Rodney just watched him, before he then laughed,
Carson blinked with a frown, thinking him daft.
"I've fallen," he mumbled. "And I can't get up!"
Rodney choked on his laughter, and then dropped his cup.

It splashed on the doctor, who grumbled and tried,
to get himself up, but his brain was now fried.
For much too long now, so much rum they had drank,
he couldn't think clearly, and now his head ached.

Sounds could be heard, and then somebody came
around the next corner, but he looked quite lame.
Sheppard was limping, also holding a cup,
and he looked at his friends, before saying, 'Sup!'

Rodney, still laughing, pointed at Carson,
who still lay on the floor, probably planning some arson.
"I think he needs help," to John Rodney told.
"Otherwise he'll lie there until he gets old!"

Sheppard then blinked, and reached down to help,
but somehow he missed, falling down with a yelp.
"Not again," he whined. "I just did this before
I came 'round the bend and found you at my door."

Carson mumbled back, but who knows what he said,
for John was now laying on top of his head.
"Get off me, ya daftie!" they finally heard,
he then pushed John off, and chucked them the bird.

At least, that's what they thought, until they then saw,
it was the wrong finger, and seemed to be sore.
"Ya broke m' wee pinkie!" Carson complained,
holding his finger up, as if it was plain.

"Don't look broken to me," Rodney supplied,
as his friend's finger he critically eyed.
"Sorry!" said John, looking contrite,
"Besides your 'wee pinkie', are you all right?"

He helped his friend up, who played with his finger,
saw it was just fine, and chose not to linger.
"Let's go get more 'nog," Carson said to his friends,
"Okay," said John. "But that really depends
on if there's more left, and who is still there,
for who the one left with it was Dr. Weir!"

"She's drinking my rum?!" Rodney yelled out,
his face changing into a silly young pout.
"She'll throw it away, once she finds out it's there,
and then…why I'll pull out the rest of my hair!"

Carson and John then walked down the hall,
(though in their drunk state, they probably should crawl.)
Rodney then ran his best to catch up,
but almost tripped over his earlier dropped cup.

They ran to the mess hall, and there they did find,
that they should not have left the nog bowl behind.
It was empty now, of the rum and the nog,
and all three of their brains felt quite filled with fog.

Elizabeth stood there, and studied the three,
wondering which of them the perp had to be.
"Why is the rum gone?!" Rodney then asked,
"I knew that I should have kept my own flask!"

Liz shook her head. "You should be ashamed!
For everyone's hangovers you will be blamed!"
Carson and John then frowned at their friend,
for, thanks to him, they'll be stuck in their beds.

"That wasn't nice," Carson practically slurred,
he then blinked his eyes, his vision quite blurred.
"You know it is late," Elizabeth said.
"All three of you now should go on straight to bed."

Carson put down the cup he still held,
his consciousness wanting right then to rebel.
He backed into Rodney, who didn't expect,
the rum to have on Carson such an effect.

He knew that the doctor did not often drink,
no wonder his brain was now close to the brink!
Rodney grabbed Carson's arm, not knowing how
they didn't both fall, but he then made a vow.

He shouldn't have done this to his two best friends,
and he solemnly swore that he would make amends.
He and John both then helped their poor friend,
out of the mess hall, and straight to his bed.

John sat in a chair, and Rod on the floor,
their strength they had used; they now had no more.
And that's how Liz found them, when she came to check,
for she knew that all three of them were quite a wreck.

Carson slept in his bed, Rodney on the floor,
John in a chair, with a very soft snore.
She smiled as she watched, and started to hum,
"Merry Christmas to all, but for you, no more rum!"

THE END
Ha! Was that as funny as I thought it was? ;)