A/N: I am so very, very sorry. I really didn't mean for it to take this long. I had life issues and writer's block and stuff. But here's the next chapter. The really short next chapter. It's pathetic really. I go away forever and then I come back with this. Oh well. Oh, and this chapter introduces Rude, even if he doesn't say anything...

Chapter Six

Partner

Reno found it very hard not to stare the next morning as he walked into Rufus' office. For a second he wondered if he was dreaming, and then he realized that even he lacked the imagination to come up with something quite this illogical. For a start, Tseng was standing behind Rufus' desk and had what appeared to be a broken nose. There was a large, black skinhead wearing mirrored sunglasses standing next to him, expression totally impassive. And Rufus was smiling.

Reno searched for something to say and fell back on his usual method of polite inquiry. "What the fuck?"

"Tseng has a broken nose," said Rufus, cheerfully stating the obvious. He gestured at the skinhead. "This is Rude. He will be your partner. I did tell you that you would be assigned one."

Reno processed this. "O-kay," he said finally. "But what happened to you?" Was Rufus smiling because of what happened last night? But, but he'd been asleep when Reno kissed him, right? And it wasn't like he'd meant anything much by that kiss, right? It'd just been sympathetic, a comfort thing... right? It had had nothing to do with the fact that Rufus had been looking utterly beautiful.

The smile disappeared then, and Rufus gave him a cold look that wasn't quite as convincing as earlier ones had been. "I don't know what you're talking about, Reno."

"You were smiling."

"So? To the best of my knowledge, I'm allowed. Was there anything else?"

Reno bit his lip, wondering how far he could push his luck. Deciding to take a risk, he said, "Yeah... How did Tseng break his nose?"

Rufus' lips twitched as he fought down another smile. His voice was laced with amusement as he made his reply. "Ask him yourself," he murmured, locking his eyes Reno's face. He wanted a good view of the redhead's reaction when he got the answer.

"Huh? How did you break it, Dothead?" Rufus had to fight another grin at Reno's dismissive new nickname for Tseng. That was Reno, alright – just when you though he couldn't get any more insubordinate, he went and surprised you.

"Stop calling me that, Reno," Tseng said flatly. "And I... walked... into a door frame..."

"WHAT?" Rufus was rewarded with the image of Reno's face in shades of confusion, shock, incredulity and extreme amusement. Reno collapsed into hysterical laughter as Tseng glared at him through raccoon-like eyes.

Rufus started to smile again.

Reno was beginning to wonder if his new partner was human. He hadn't spoken at all to Reno since they had left Rufus' office. Tseng had led the two of them through the building to Turk headquarters, stopping in front off a plain wooden door. He paused a moment, took a deep breath, and then opened the door. A soft wave of quickly stifled laughter hit the three men as the many occupants of the large room looked up and caught sight of Tseng's face. Reno didn't bother to smother his snickers. He laughed openly as he followed an incredibly pissed off looking Tseng across what looked like a common room for Shinra intelligence officers. "So..." he said, grinning evilly. "...How did you manage to break your nose walking into a door frame? You gotta admit it, boss, that takes some doing. Door frames are pretty obvious..." The quiet snickering rose slightly in volume.

Tseng did not reply. Reaching a door on the other side of the room, he opened it and shoved Reno inside. "Your office," he said in the chilly kind of tone Reno would normally expect from Rufus. He pointed at a steel desk on one side of the tiny room. "Your desk." There was a stack of paper on the desk. Tseng grinned. "Your paperwork. I want it finished by the end of the day, Reno."

Reno froze, staring at the stack. "But... But I'm seventeen! I can barely fucking spell! Come on, Dothead..."

But Tseng was already gone, closing the door behind him and leaving Reno alone with his paperwork and his scary new partner.

Reno stared at the page in complete horror. It was some ridiculous form where he was supposed to write down the exact details of how he had foiled the attempts of a random terrorist group to take Rufus hostage last week. What the fuck was he supposed to write?He'd just zapped a few people and then Rufus had shot the ringleader in the head with his shotgun. Simple. Why did he have to write out a fucking book about it?

At the other desk, Rude was working his way steadily through his own, much smaller pile of paper. Reno glared at him for a moment then stalked over to the door and wrenched it open. "Oi, Dothead."

Tseng turned around with a sigh, breaking off his conversation with two other Shinra executives. "What is it, Reno?" It would seem he'd resigned himself to the nickname. "Why the hell doesn't he have as much of this shit as me?"

"Because he's new. Because he doesn't annoy people as much as you. Because he doesn't attempt to kill anyone who looks at him the wrong way."

"So this shit is just some fucked-up way to try and get me to mind my manners?"

"Essentially, yes."

Reno went back into his office and threw his paperwork out the window.

Rufus closed his eyes and sighed with frustration. "Alright, let him in." The secretary scuttled away and a moment later Reno walked in looking mutinous. He couldn't quite meet Rufus' eyes, however, choosing instead to examine the carpet. Rufus stared at him, trying to figure out which one of the plethora of questions queuing in his brain he should start with. Finally he settled on the one that seemed to cover most of the main points. "Why?"

The redhead made an irritated noise. "Because it was pissing me off. Why the hell should I have to write out all that shit when all my job is is to keep you from bein' killed or something? Besides, no one can even read my fucking handwriting. I can't even read it. And I can't spell."

Rufus shoved a pen and a piece of paper at Reno. "Write something." There was a quick sound of scratching as Reno scribbled something and then silence. Reno carefully replaced the pen on the desk. Both teenagers stared at the piece of paper. It looked like a two year olds first drawing. "What does it say?" Rufus said eventually.

"It's supposed to say 'I fucking hate paperwork' but I can't actually tell..."

There was more silence.

"What's that?" Rufus asked, pointing at one looped part of the word.

"It's a P. I think." Even Reno seemed awed at the sheer incomprehensibility of his writing. (And I never want to see Reno try to write incomprehensibility. His spelling is even worse than his writing.)

Rufus stared at the scribble some more, his eyes distant as he worked out what to do. Reno just waited. "Alright," Rufus muttered finally. "Here's what you'll do. When you get reports from Heidegger, Scarlet, Tseng or my bastard father then just write whatever you want. No one will be able to read it anyway. When they come to ask you what the hell it is you've written, be very polite and report verbally. Please keep swearing to a minimum... Now, if I send you something... Just fill it out as well as you can, and we'll go over it when you have you're next shift guarding me. Okay?"

"Thanks, sir," Reno said, a genuine grin on his face. Rufus ignored the sudden, inexplicable acceleration of his heart rate at the sight. "You're welcome. No go away. I have my own mountain of this crap to deal with."

Tseng never realized it, but the very next form he got back from Reno said "Tseng is a fuckwit" over and over and over...