Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers
Chapter Two (chapter 2)
By: Crack God (used to be Aoshi Master of the Kodachi)
So Far: Sasuke and Naruto left the village to train. Kakashi is super perverted and pops into Sakura's room for his perverted reasons. Sakura gets really mad and yells that she will kill her sensei and blame it on Rock Lee. Kakashi leaves only to have Lee show up. Then things got sappy.
There was a moment's silence between the pink-haired Sakura and the bug-eyed, bushy-browed Rock Lee. The wind swept pass them as the last golden rays from the sun dissipated into the sky as night came to be.
"I, I, I really don't know what to say," Sakura stuttered. "I guess I should apologize, so I'm sorry, Lee."
What is he thinking, trying to make a move on me? Cha!! The only man I'll ever like is Sasuke, so just forget about me bug-eyes! Inner Sakura mouthed off. Besides, why the hell would I want to go out with a freak like you?
Cha!
The tears of youthfulness dried off on Rock Lee's face. He smiled and that glint of that on his teeth made that 'ping' kind of sound. The sunset mysteriously appeared, or reappeared, in this case, like in the anime T.V. show.
"Sakura," Lee spoke. "Will you please be my youthful cherry blossom girlfr-?"
Lee's fingers slipped off of Sakura's window and he tumbled down into a heaping mess of thorny rose bushes that were growing around the young kunoichi's house.
"The pain," Lee groaned. "I can feel the youthfulness being sucked out of my youthful body. My sweet, sweet cherry blossoms have turned into desolate, painful roses. Alas, my poor youthful self. When shall life turn directions and finally treat me like everyone else?"
"Lee, are you all right?" Sakura asked the figure in her rose bushes, now with the mysterious sunset gone. Cha! That freak finally got what every freak deserves! Inner Sakura yelled in joy. That's what bushy-browed ass holes get when they make a move on me when my true love, Sasuke, is gone. Cha!
"Oh no! My Lee!" Gai sensei's voice echoed across the street. "What happened, Lee? Speak to me, my boy! Speak to me!!"
Sakura darted from her window so that Gai would not be able to see her. It was figured that whenever Lee was hurt that his sensei's ' Lee Senses ' would be tingling. Wait, if Rock Lee is straight then why is he ALWAYS emotional with Gai? Sakura (not Inner Sakura) thought to herself. And why does Lee dress EXACTLY like Gai. Well, I guess I don't have anything better to do tomorrow since Sasuke left, so tomorrow I'm going to spy on Gai and Lee to see what's up. Anyway, if I find out anything about Lee's ninja abilities I can tell Sasuke about them. Then he'll use my information to beat Rock Lee in a fight, and ultimately ending it by asking me out. YES!! It's the perfect plan!
"Lee! Oh no, you're unconscious!" Gai sensei panicked. "We have to hasten to the hospital or your very youthfulness will be at risk!"
"Gai, Gai sensei," Lee managed to say. "I, I apologize for being such a large burden to you, sensei."
"Lee! You're conscious!" Gai exclaimed in joy. "We shall hurry to the hospital quickly or else your precious youthfulness will be ruined."
Gai picked up his battered pupil and sprinted off to get some medical help for his student. (I think that he should have also gotten some mental help for the both of them, but that would've ruined the story and destroyed part of the humor.)
It was eight o'clock a.m. the next morning and Sakura had been in the bathroom for over thirty minutes now. She was supposed to have met up with Kakashi fifteen minutes ago for her next new mission, but she had figured that he would be late yet again. Besides, when it happens it happens.
Ploing! The perverted sensei popped into Sakura's room with the now familiar puff of smoke. "Sakura," he called out. "You're late for the mission. Oh Sakura, where are you?"
Sakura became silent as if she was in a life or death situation. She covered her mouth with her hand so that Kakashi couldn't hear her breathing. She tried to hold it in, but the last bit of the bloody mess for her period just HAD to come out. Then it hit the water in her toilet and made a slight splash.
Kakashi sensei's ears pricked up. He had heard it. His one and only female pupil was in her bathroom. It was the moment that the pervert had been waiting for since the very moment Sakura was assigned to his squad. But would he dare try today after what happened yesterday? Yet, it was something that he just couldn't resist. It took him five minutes or so to weigh the odds and then he finally made his decision. With two puffs of smoke he disappeared from Sakura's room and appeared in her bathroom.
"KAKASHI, YOU PERVERT!!" Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs. Luckily for her, and unfortunately for Kakashi, the kunoichi had finished while her perverted sensei was deciding on what to do, she even had enough time to fully cover herself correctly with her clothes.
Sakura mightily raised her clenched fist and repeatedly hammered her despicable, rude, forgetful, silver-haired, idiotic, and perverted sensei. Just because Sakura was weak on missions didn't mean that she was weak off them- in fact it was very much quite the exact opposite. Her deadly assaults were so fast that the copy-cat ninja didn't even have time to use the substitution jutsu, the shadow clone jutsu, or even his sharingan eye (which had been completely exposed for Kakashi to see every detail of what Sakura was doing and how much she was exposed before he knew that she had already finished).
After far more than a thousand, maybe even a million, blows Kakashi finally got the picture and left with yet another puff of smoke, aiming to go to the hospital. He barely managed to reach its door, which he then tried to open. Unfortunately, he was way too badly injured to do so. Luckily though, ten seconds later Rock Lee opened the door from the inside to exit, his arms and legs wrapped in new bandages.
"Kakashi! Are you all right? Did the evil, unyouthful being that hurt you also hurt my cherry blossomed Sakura?" Lee bursted into tears. "Who was it? Tell me Kakashi, tell me now! And where is Sakura? Did the being abduct her? Where did they go off to? I MUST save my Sakura!!"
Now I see why Sakura was going to blame my death on Lee, Kakashi thought to himself. "No, Lee. Sakura's just fine," the perverted sensei lied. "Just let me into the hospital. Oh, and also could you tell Sakura that I'm here so that she can receive her new mission for the day. I think that she's still at her house."
"Yes sir, of course I will!" Lee exclaimed. "I will be happy to help you and Sakura any day." Then Lee ran off to Sakura's house.
Kakashi crawled into the hospital and managed to look up a few of the nurses' skirts before they noticed, hit him some more, and finally took him to get medical help. It's always worth it, a smug Kakashi thought. It's ALWAYS worth it.
Right when Rock Lee was about to knock on Sakura's door, the kunoichi slammed it open while she muttered curses under her breath.
"Hello my lovely, youthful cherry blossom of warm heartiness," Lee joyfully spoke with a smile.
"What do you want now, Lee?" Sakura angrily demanded in a tone closely resembling a deep growl.
"Nothing really," Lee said as if he was confronting a monster of death and decay. "It's just that … umm, well Kakashi's in the hospital and wants you to come over there to tell you your new mission for today."
"Kakashi can hump his couch for all I care," Sakura replied scornfully as if Lee himself was Kakashi.
"What's wrong, my youthful companion?" Lee questioned.
"MY SENSEI IS AN IDIOTIC PERVERT WITH NO LIFE WHAT SO EVER!" Sakura roared.
Lee hastily ran away in a way that Naruto would have if he was in this scary situation. Okay, I'll go to the hospital, my dear friend, Inner Sakura plotted in an almost, but not quite, sarcastic tone. But instead of getting my mission, I'm going to kill Kakashi and blame it on you, Rock Lee. Cha!
Sakura stomped all the way to the hospital. When she reached its door she pulled it off its hinges and went inside. Her eyes glowed red as she searched for Kakashi. Eventually she found him in a room labeled 'critical condition.'
The copy-cat ninja turned his head and spoke, "Oh, hello Sakura. Today your mission is-" He stopped as Sakura kicked his head, which was literally the only part of his body that was not covered in bandages.
"Fine then, be that way," Kakashi smirked like a seven year old child. "You just won't get your very first 'A' ranked mission."
"A RANK!!" Sakura screamed like a giddy little schoolgirl. "Do you really mean it, Kakashi? Yeah! My first mission as a jounin!"
"Yes, but anyway," Kakashi smiled, "the mission is to spy on Gai sensei and his squad. If you manage to pull it off for the whole day without getting caught I'll take you to see Naruto and Sasuke."
Alas, the second chapter is at its end. I hope you enjoyed the story so far. Please review so I can see your comments and please wait for the next chapter! (Again, I'm sorry that it's so short.)