Genre: General/humour
Paring/s: -
Line: Not matter how many times you try and smush him, he just won't die!
The snow globe was quite depressing. Little Santa's head had been severed off, lying to one side, snow collecting on his red hat.
"Number Eight."
The thatch house was riddled with cracks, and the glass windows had been smashed in by a rock probably thrown by a kid.
"Number Eight!"
And Rudolph's nose was whittled down to a little nub, hollow eye sockets staring blankly at its headless master.
"God damnit, Axel! Put that down, and listen!!"
I decided to grace the speaker with my attention. I replaced the snow globe on the rich oak desk, beside a metronome. I drew my eyes to the radiant face of Number One. Yes. That was sarcasm. He looked like an agitated cat, tail bristling and ears twitching. "Your as bad as Number Two. Your mind going a mile a minute."
I brushed this comparison with a flick of my head, tossing back a few disobedient hair strands. "I heard you the first time." Xemnas has this idea that I was the best person for taking out newbies to the field. Zexion was my first and last crash course in finding out that, no, I don't have patience for that kind of thing.
"Your expendable," I caught the last part of his rant. Actually, all of us were that, and then some. But he'd rather bump off the newies than the oldies. "He doesn't even have his Nobody yet," he thrust a piece of paper at me. I raised an eyebrow as I skimmed down the page. To put it bluntly, it was like a timetable. Demyx timetable. "Dismissed."
I found Demyx with Xigbar. The Freeshooter must have been explaining something to him something, because Demyx was hanging on to his every word. He always reminds me of a puppy, Demyx. No matter how many times you kick him, he still comes back.
"Axel," Xigbar broke off in mid-sentence, glancing over Demyx's head at me. "What do you want?" Demyx immediately turned around, a smile gracing his lips. I couldn't imagine why he was happy to see me. He clung onto my waist, grinning up at me. My thoughts on sitting down where dismissed after that. Demyx also reminds me of a burr. You can't shake him off.
Xigbar was watching us with a smirk dancing on his face.
Well if Demyx is the puppy, Xigbar is defiantly a cockroach. Not matter how many times you try and smush him, he just won't die!
"I came to pick up, Demyx," said person blinked, being left out of the loop until now.
"What? No chocolates, flowers?" Xigbar looked around in mock surprise. "Heck, you don't even need to ask my permission. Though you are here… so get down on your-"
"It's not a fricken date, you bastard!" I found myself shouting. Demyx had the courtesy of letting me go as I tried to strangle Xigbar.
"Who said it was," Xigbar warded me off, grinning all the while. Scoffing, I withdrew and dragged Demyx out of the room. The crisp tap of our boots was the only noise we made as I led Demyx down the whitewashed corridors. I was silently glad Demyx hadn't said anything yet. God knows what he was thinking of me now.
My brain was still suffer from that episode, that I'd forgotten where we were supposed to be going. It took a lot of unnecessary back tracking and thought to get us back on track. Finally Demyx spoke up.
"Uh, where are we going, Axel? We're not really g-going on a-"
"No!" Would you call it naivety? Or he couldn't take Xigbar's nasty hints as a jest.
"Then, could you?-" he looked down at his hand, looking like it was being crushed in a vice by my own. I quickly let go, going bright red. Was I just radiating off the wrong message today?
Thankfully we had reached out destination. It was a small black door, smaller than the rest of the doors in the corridor. It was marked the Nobody symbol. Twisting the door knob, I let Demyx in first. The room was plain white, as always, and it had descending stairs into a pit like arena. Bright lights banished all the shadows.
Demyx stood nervously on the edge of the pit, looking into it.
"There are no lions," I assured, clicking the door shut behind me. He flashed a wavering grin over his shoulder. "Welcome," I added, waving around the room with out stretched arms. "This room doesn't have a name, but it's the one that creates new Nobodies," I clicked my fingers, and a dozen Assassins appeared behind me.
Demyx took a hasty step backwards, and promptly fell off the pit edge. I winced at the multiple thumps and the final crash as he hit the bottom in a spectacular roll. I jumped down to make sure he was still alive. All of his joints seemed to be in the right direction, and he was still breathing.
"Owie, my back."
Yup. Defiantly still alive and kicking. He managed to sit up, but cringed with the action. I knelt down and inspected him with my eyes. "Anything hurt?"
"Apart from everything?"
"Apart from everything."
"My elbow," he straightened it out, and it popped in it's socket. I had a feeling he was yanking my chain, but I felt the joint anyway. I'm no doctor, but I think he'd just knocked it on the way down. Heaving a sigh, I put on a grim face.
"Sorry, Dem, but I'm going to have to cut it off."
Demyx's eyes widened, and I honestly thought he was going to start crying. "W-what?!"
"Done some serious damage to the tendons. So off it comes," I called up my weapons. Casually, I slipped back his sleeve, revealing his arm. All the time Demyx's eyes had managed to double in size. Which was making it harder on me to keep a straight face.
"Are you serious?" A last attempt to stop me, he gave me his saddest eyes possible. To bad that only works if you have a heart.
I put the tip of one of the many spikes to his joint.
With a squeak, he knocked the object out of my hand, and griped my collar tightly. Heck, he was almost on my lap in his desperation to stop me maiming him. Was this the climatic point? I kind of ruined it by laughing so hard my ribs ached.
Demyx was not happy with me after that. He sat in sulky silence as I explained how the room worked. It was very frustrating to teach someone whose trying very hard not to listen to you. I suddenly felt a rush of sympathy to Xemnas, and vowed to always listen to him for now on. Well, maybe.
"Demyx!" I yelled for the fifth time. "Are you listening to me?"
With a small huff, he turned his nose up at me. I wanted to punch his lights out for that. This was clearly going know where. I summoned back my chakrams, and took a swing at him with the blades.
There was a nasty rip, and Demyx managed to jump backwards. I caught a little of his clothing however.
"What the hell was that for!" First time Demyx had come close to yelling before. At least I had his attention now.
"Oh look, you're talking to me," I said, spinning a chakram on my index finger. Xemnas had told me to practise his fighting abilities, so I guess this was the perfect time to do it. "Get out your sitar."
"I'm not fighting you," he said, looking stubborn. He had crossed his arms defensively. I took another slash, ripping apart the fabric on his shoulder. He dropped his arms sharpish.
"I'm not bothered hurting you," I warned. "Honestly, Demyx, your such a-"
WHAM!
A column of water sent me spinning into the back wall. I swear my shoulder blade popped out for a second. It was back in by the time I'd recovered. "Better." I looked back over at Demyx, but he looked a lot weaker than before. He wasn't used to using a large amount of power in one go. The ground was slipper and wet, making it hard to walk. I shifted my power to my feet, and soon the water was steaming up. The air got a lot thicker. Demyx was backing away, looking frightened. Clearly fighting was not his strong point. Before all the puddles evaporated, a clone was rising up out of the water. A faceless sheet of water faced me, looking a lot more threatening than it's original self.
There was a small pop, and a bubble of solid water burst over my hair. My hair flattened at once, blinding me. His attacks were cute, but they only irritated me further. At once strong, slimy arms were forcing me at the wall, holding me steady. Stupid clone.
"You loose," the sharper end of the sitar was pointing at me.
"I don't think so," I tossed my chakram. There was a loud tearing of material, and Demyx's coat was split up the middle, bring with him a fresh amount of blood. With an alarmed squeal, Demyx fell over, the clone splashing away.
My anger got the better of me. I pounced at once, landing on top of him, ready to bash the hell out of that pretty face. I must have crossed some line, because Demyx showed a surprisingly amount of strength, and flipped me. Our weapons were long gone, and it had developed into some kind of cat fight.
I struggled as his palms dug into my shoulder joints. Finally I got my leg free, and kicked him hard in the jaw. He backed off then. I got up awkwardly, watching as Demyx inspected his now ruined coat. From about his rib cage up, it had split along the zipper exposing his bare chest. There was a nice gash from my chakrams, and blood all over the place. The human body sure bleed alot from the smallest of knicks.
I licked my lips nervously. Xemnas was going to kill me for this. I don't think I was supposed to physically hurt him. When I'd trained with Sai'x, we'd only channelled my fire powers. At least I knew he was a tough little cookie.
"What am I going to do about this?" Demyx wailed helplessly.
"I'm sure we've got spares. Somewhere," I said, just as helplessly. I pulled him to his feet. The neck kept slipping down his shoulders because of how it had been cut. I looked round the room, hands on hips. There were blood smears all over the place. I tried to ask Demyx to use water to clean it up, but he gave me a filthy look in reply.
Leaving it, hoping the Dusks would clean it up, I opened up a Darkness portal and shoved Demyx in. We reappeared in my room. It was perfectly tidy, thanks to the Dusks. I ordered him to sit on my bed, and I went to get the first aid kit. It was very risky to try out potions on new comers. We didn't know how they would react. Some of us were allergic. Like me. Poor
When I came back in, Demyx was fiddling with the bed sheets. Frowning, I sat cross legged next to him. "Let me look at the cut."
"It's not deep."
"I know. But it'll get infected."
"It's fine."
"I need to clean it, Demyx!"
He gave his best 'make me' face, and hunched up his shoulders. Was this all because I'd laughed at him? Demyx was normally a pretty forgiving guy, so I doubt it. I got out the disinfectant, with an equally stubborn look. "Last chance," I said, waving the cream under his nose. Before he could answer, I shoved him down. Actions speak louder than words. I wrestled to get the cream on him.
Of course that's when the door opened. I was starting to wonder if my day could possibly get any worse.
"Ugh… what are you doing?"
I somehow managed to turn the bad position into a good one. "Perfect timing, Zexy. Get over here and help me," I was willing to bet Zexion's jaw would have hit the floor in astonishment. Good thing he had a little more composer than that.
He also had the politeness to not ask why Demyx was bleeding from multiple wounds. Demyx was red from embarrassment, and humiliation from being held down by two men, just to have dressing applied.
Demyx had gone off with Zexion to find new clothes. Mean while all I got was a trip to Xemnas' office.
Xemnas was furious. He didn't care what started the fight, because that didn't mean I had to go and attack him like that. No matter what I said, tried to justify myself that I was innocent, he wouldn't listen.
I slumped miserably into an armchair. I felt like I was the victim of some horrible murder. What had I done to get Demyx so anti towards me? And now Xemnas was breathing down my neck. Well whatever it was, I wasn't going to own up to it. Demyx was the one who needed to grow up.
Was I contradicting myself?
I sighed again, and restlessly flopped over the arm of the chair. My hand brushed over something. Poking up my head, I looked down. Xigbar's head was looking up at me. He'd transported half his body through a darkness portal.
"I've got your next assignment with, Demyx," he said, a hand appearing holding some files. "Xemnas also says to go back to that room, and get his Nobody."
"Well go give the job to, Zexion, because Demyx's has gone off with him."
"Heck, first date and he's cheating on you." Xigbar had the courtesy to wriggle the rest of the way out, and sat cross legged on the floor.
"Of for- argh, nevermind..." I was too weary to argue the whole date thing. "I don't even know what I did wrong!"
"Must have been bad to get Demyx on your bad side," Xigbar nodded. "Have you thought about saying sorry?"
"He doesn't have a heart, he shouldn't be feeling upset!"
Xigbar gazed at me steadily. "Must be a good actor," and disappeared.
For some reason, that really pissed me off.
The lampshade was on; letting me read my book in a warm glow of light. It was night, and I still hadn't made up with Demyx. I hadn't seen him for the rest of the day. Grumbling, I turned the page, and took a swig from a milk carton I'd nicked from the fridge earlier that evening.
There was a shy knock at the door. I looked up. Hardly anyone dared go into someone's room at night. Demyx was by the door, looking edgy. I put down my book and invited him inside. With a snap, the door clicked shut.
"What's up?" I said, like we'd never fought a few hours ago. Ouch, that hurt. I drew up my knees as he sat down on my bed. He was looking pretty miserably himself.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."
"For being a kid?"
"Axel!"
"Hey, I'm not the one saying sorry."
We looked at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing. The atmosphere got a lot lighter after that. "Um, why did you get so upset about that anyways?"
Demyx opened his mouth, probably to answer, then closed it. He winked and put a finger to his lips. "It's a secret."
I rolled my eyes. I offered him the milk carton. He looked at it suspiciously. "Did you drink from this?"
"Of course. Who uses glasses?"
"Most civilised people."
"Your not gonna get Axel-germs, if that's why your worried," Demyx screwed up his nose, but took a draft anyway.
"You just kissed me," I echoed Sai'x's words as I snatched the carton back off him.
"Would have been better if I could have done it properly."
Demyx chose the exact moment when I was taking the last of the milk. I spat the whole thing out at once.
"Got you," I chucked the empty carton at his head.
"That's so-"
"What?"
"…"
"Gay?"
"Yeah."
"I know."
He happily crawled in beside me, and hugged me close, complaining to turn off the light. Later that night, my good mood had vanished and I'd pushed him out of my bed.
Demyx always reminds me of a puppy. No matter how many times you kick him, he always comes back.
END