Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers
By: Crack God
Chapter Eight (Chapter 8)
Dedicated to: All of my faithful reviewers (ZukoKrazy, The warmth of the Afterglow, and wolf-girl87, just to name a few)
In the Last chapter:
The fan girls (Sasuke's fan girls) attacked Kakashi, Sakura, and the judge/ cow sucker because Sakura was careless enough to say Sasuke's name in public. But before the fan girls could kill them all, Sasuke showed up. However, upon further investigation the Sasuke that saved Kakashi, Sakura, and the judge/ cow sucker was only a rabbit that could use the transformation jutsu and turned into Sasuke, or so Rock Lee says. On the island, Naruto got bored so he and Sasuke visited their precious garden of marijuana. Yeah, that was pretty much it.
Now on with the chapter!
"Lee, don't be stupid," Sakura said annoyed. "We all know that rabbits can't become ninja, or use any jutsus for that matter." Cha! Has that bastard Rock Lee finally gone insane! Yes! Now we have a reason to persecute him. Cha, Inner Sakura exclaimed.
"Yeah, that's even strange for you, Lee," Gai sensei said in disbelief. "Rabbits are just youthfully youthful creatures, and nothing more than that.
"Wait!" Kakashi exclaimed. "Not to long ago I heard a rumor of a bunny that goes around and helps people in need. I think they called him Ninja Bunny."
Everyone stared at the famed copy cat ninja, them all giving him what the fuck kind of looks, except for Lee who gave him a… well… let's just say that Lee gave Kakashi a very disturbing and gleeful look.
"Never fear, Ninja Bunny has survived. Suddenly, a copper colored rabbit with floppy ears and some black markings around its paws, face, and ears that wore a blue and orange cape flew in on the seen. "But I have to admit, the fan girls were vicious. For a moment there I thought that my tail was a goner."
"See! I told you it was just a rabbit transformed as Sasuke!" Lee exclaimed, looking away from Kakashi.
"Yeah, I told you that Ninja Bunny helped those in need!" Kakashi shouted as if he was Lee himself.
Then the ground moved as strong pulsations cracked into the earth's crust- pulsations far stronger than what even the rabid fan girls could possibly create when stampeding upon the ones who say Sasuke's name. Boulders rocketed down upon the village, coming from the massive rocky area where the Hogake had their faces carved into.
"What's happening!" a worried Sakura questioned.
"I don't know, but it is definitely a job for me, the great Ninja Bunny!" Ninja Bunny exclaimed. "Hop, hop and away!" Instantly, Ninja Bunny flew into the sky to investigate, Kakashi, Sakura, Gai, and Lee following by foot.
"We know you can defeat this evil disaster, Ninja Bunny!" Kakashi joyfully exclaimed.
"Go Ninja Bunny!" Lee yelled youthfully. "I love you, Ninja Bunny! You will succeed against this new rival, I know you will because you're Ninja Bunny! Go Ninja Bunny!"
As soon as Ninja Bunny, Kakashi sensei, Gai sensei, Rock Lee, and Sakura reached the area where the Hogake's faces were carved out a giant snake showed its face amongst the rocks. The snake was about 650 feet long and made out of a substance that Kakashi was extremely familiar with, but he just couldn't remember what is was nor what it was called or what it did.
"I shall defeat any opponent!" Ninja Bunny triumphantly spoke. "Prepare to die, evil snake of unyouthfulness, death, unyouthfulness, vindictiveness, death, and unyouthfulness!"
The evil, unyouthful snake dove its head towards Ninja Bunny, but the highly skilled rabbit easily dodged the assault. Suddenly, a kunai appeared in Ninja Bunny's mouth. With a fierce stab, Ninja Bunny pushed the kunai into the giant snake's throat.
"Kakashi, shouldn't we be helping Ninja Bunny?" Sakura asked her sensei. "I mean, what if he gets hurt or something?"
"Ninja Bunny can't lose!" Kakashi replied.
"Go Ninja Bunny!" Lee and Gai exclaimed at the same time.
Then the snake jolted its head, throwing the kunai in its neck to the ground. It lunged its fangs forward and ripped Ninja Bunny's cape off, swallowing it in one gulp.
The light bulb turned on inside Kakashi's head. He just remembered what the giant snake was made of! It was crack! The giant snake was made of a tremendously enormous joint of crack!
The silver haired sensei sprang up upon the snake. "I'll take it from here, Ninja Bunny," Kakashi told the crime fighting rabbit. "This kind of thing is my specialty."
"Well, if you're sure," Ninja Bunny replied. "I need to buy a new cape anyway. Is there a costume store in this village?"
"Yeah, there is," Kakashi replied. "Just go south on North Avenue, then turn left to Marijuana Street. From there go north till you get on Opium Road. Then go east on Cocaine Avenue. From Cocaine go to Crack, and from Crack go to Speed. Once on Speed you should go through and end up back on Marijuana. From there go south to Halucunagens Street and the costume store is right there on the corner."
"Thanks," Ninja Bunny replied. Within two seconds the crime fighting rabbit was flying away to go buy a new cape.
Kakashi started performing fire style hand signs. Before you could say 'Mary Jane' Kakashi had created flames. Then he lit the giant crack snake's tail and instantaneously got high. Within thirty seconds the snake was dead.
It was evening now and Kakashi just got done smoking the entire giant joint of crack. He was currently sitting in his house watching the television in his mind that had been created from the ever so lovely crack.
Knock, knock, knock. Some one was knocking on Kakashi's door, but the sensei was just too high to give a damn about it. The knocking got louder, and louder, and louder, but Kakashi sensei could only ignore it because of his current state. Before the masked ninja could even comprehend what was happening his door had been bolted down and a certain emerald-eyed kunoichi stormed into her sensei's house.
"Kakashi! When are you going to take me to see Sasuke!" Sakura yelled. "I want to see Sasuke NOW!"
"Crack… crack is… CRACK IS FUN!" Kakashi laughed, his eyes looking extraordinarily high, considering the fact that they always look high.
"Oh no, you didn't smoke that entire giant joint of crack, did you!" Sakura questioned, her fist raised, ready to attack. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAVE SOME FOR SASUKE AND ME!"
The kunoichi stomped out of Kakashi's house in rage. What the fucking hell is up with Kakashi! Cha! He knew that we agreed that Sasuke and I would get our fair share of that giant joint of crack! Inner Sakura roared. But no! He just had to smoke it all himself! Cha! And now he'll be high for at least all of tomorrow so he won't be able to take me to see Sasuke when I want to see him now!
"Is there something wrong? Never fear for Ninja Bunny is here!" Ninja Bunny said, flying in from the sky. Now the crime fighting rabbit was wearing a red cape with blue and green polka dots.
"Oh, hello Ninja Bunny," Sakura said. "Kakashi is suppose to take me to see one of my teammates, Sasuke. The only problem is that he got high off of the entire giant joint of crack from the snake that he was suppose to share with Sasuke and myself."
"That just sucks!" Ninja Bunny exclaimed. "I'll tell you a little secret though. I have this awesome Bunny-mobile that can fly, and since I'm not doing anything tonight or tomorrow I'll take you over to Sasuke in it."
"Do you really mean it!" Sakura joyfully exclaimed.
"Of course! Why would I, Ninja Bunny, lie?" Ninja Bunny replied. "Just meet me by the costume store in a half an hour. Bring anyone else you can find that wants to see Sasuke if you want."
"Thank you so much, Ninja Bunny!" Sakura exclaimed. "I love you sooo much!"
"All right then," Ninja Bunny replied. "I'll see you in half an hour." With that Ninja Bunny flew off into the sky and Sakura ran back into Kakashi's house.
"Kakashi!" Sakura shouted. "Ninja Bunny is going to take us to see Sasuke!"
"CRACK IS FUN!" Kakashi crackled. "Ninja Bunny + Crack Ninja Bunny on Crack Super Hero on Crack x 34.6729024 to the seventh power. Negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus two a b divided by two a. A squared minus b squared. A squared plus or minus two a b plus b squared."
"Kakashi, come on! We don't have time to recite algebra equations!" Sakura whined. "We have to meet Ninja Bunny in just a little bit, so come on!"
"CRACK!" Kakashi yelled. Annoyed, Sakura grabbed her sensei's arm and started to drag him down to the costume store.
Twenty-five minutes later Sakura was still dragging her extremely high sensei, but the costume store was just behind the corner. But before the kunoichi could pass the corner the bug-eyed freak showed up.
"Hello, my cherry-blossomed Sakura!" Lee youthfully exclaimed. "Where are you going?"
"Oh, no where really," Sakura casually said. "Ninja Bunny is taking Kakashi and me to see Sasuke and that's about it."
"Well, what good timing," Lee remarked. "Gai sensei just announced that me and my teammates will be visiting the island where Sasuke and Naruto are on. May we join you?"
"Sure, why not? Derrrrr!" Kakashi said, high as possible.
"Great!" Lee said. "I shall be back here with my team in less than five minutes." Then Rock Lee youthfully leapt away to gather his team.
"Why the hell did you say that he could come?" Sakura angrily asked her high sensei.
"Lee + Ninja Bunny Dead Lee," Kakashi answered.
"… That actually makes sense," Sakura commented. "All we have to do is have Ninja Bunny think that Lee is evil and Ninja Bunny will take it from there! Good plan, Kakashi sensei!"
"CRACK!" Kakashi smugly said, his eyes looking even higher, if that was even possible.
Just as Sakura passed the corner while dragging her sensei, Lee, Tenten, Neji, and Gai sensei appeared. Two minutes later, a flying black limousine with attached crime fighting weapons swooped down to the ground.
"Never fear, for Ninja Bunny is here!" Ninja bunny chanted, getting out the driver's seat. "All aboard for those who wish to visit the island where Sasuke is located."
"Ninja Bunny!" Lee and Gai sensei exclaimed.
"OHMIGOD!" Tenten shrieked. "I can't believe I'm meeting THE Ninja Bunny! It's like a dream come true!"
"Hn," Neji 'hn'ed.
"CRACK IS FUN!" Kakashi yelled.
Then the seven ninja, including Ninja Bunny, hopped into the Bunny-mobile. The outside of the Bunny-mobile looked awesome, but the inside looked even better. It had thirty-six rows of black leather seats, four wishing-well style fountains, a dozen king sized beds, three ovens, sixteen microwaves, fifty-two toasters, twenty refrigerators, two swimming pools, thirty-eight big-screen televisions, two dozen stereo systems, and, the best part of all, one heaping bowl of crack.
"Wow!" Tenten gasped. "This has to be like the best limousine in the entire universe. I love you so much, Ninja Bunny!"
"This place really is awesome," Neji commented. "I wouldn't mind living in this, not one bit. This is better than the Hokage's mansion."
"I'm saved!" Kakashi yelled, eyeing the bowl of crack. "CCCRRRAAACCCKKK! My oh so precious crack!"
"What a youthfully youthful environment!" Lee said.
"Youthfully youthful indeed," Gai commented.
"Wow! Ninja Bunny, you have the best crime fighting vehicle period," Sakura said in awe. "This place is so spacious, even with all of the accessories inside. Where did you get this?"
"I built it myself," Ninja bunny replied proudly. "Okay, according to my Ninja Bunny time system, we should arrive at the island by noon tomorrow if we leave now."
"Woah, how far away is the island?" Sakura asked.
"It's quite a bit west of the Village Hidden in the Sand," Ninja Bunny answered. "So that's why it will take so long to get there."
"That's fine," Neji remarked. "We all like this limousine, so that won't be a problem at all."
And with that, Ninja Bunny hopped into the driver's seat while Sakura and Kakashi went into the fifth row of seats, Rock Lee and Gai sensei climbed I to the twentieth row ofd seats, and Neji and Tenten went all the way to the back, the thirty-sixth row of seats. Then Ninja Bunny started the ignition and drove his awesome limousine into the sky, heading west towards the island.
A/N: That's the end of chapter eight! I think it was my longest chapter yet! Yeah, I got bored of waiting for the thirty reviews so I posted this chapter quite a bit early. I decided that it doesn't matter if I get a lot of reviews, just as long as my few faithful reviewers keep reviewing. I appreciate all of the support of those that review. If you didn't notice, the End of Chapter Special from last chapter inspired a lot of this chapter. And for those of you who said I should get back to the main story, I did that in this chapter, even if it didn't seem like it. You see, by having Ninja Bunny take them to the island it is taking Sakura to Sasuke at last, which was of course part of the initial plan. So what I did in this chapter was beneficial to getting the main plot back on action, although I don't believe I ever got off, for all of that randomness was needed in a weird way. Anyway, I hoped you like the chapter and please review! REVIEW PLEASE!