Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers
Chapter Nine (Chapter 9)
By: Crack God (Who else? You should know the author of this story by now!)
Dedicated to: Everyone who likes Neji and Tenten paired together!
In the last chapter:
Ninja Bunny showed himself. Then a giant snake attacked, so Ninja Bunny went to fight it, followed by Kakashi, Sakura, Lee, and Gai. The snake seemed familiar to Kakashi, but the masked ninja just couldn't place his finger on why. Ninja bunny attacked the snake with a kunai and was saving the day until Kakashi remembered why the snake was familiar: It was made of an enormous joint of crack, yay crack! Then Kakashi took the fight from there and killed the snake with a fire style jutsu. After the snake was dead the silver haired jounin smoked the giant joint of crack until evening. After Kakashi had smoked the entire joint, Sakura whined about wanting to see Sasuke, and about how her sensei was supposed to have shared the joint with Sasuke and herself. Then the kunoichi left only to meet Ninja Bunny! Ninja bunny offered to take Sakura and anyone else who wanted to see the Uchiha to see Sasuke. Sakura readily accepted and within half an hour Sakura, Kakashi, Lee, Gai, Tenten, and Neji were inside of Ninja Bunny's awesome limousine that could fly. With Ninja Bunny in the Driver's seat, the limousine was driven off into the sky.
Now on with the ninth chapter!
"Ninja Bunny, may I pleases have some of the crack now?" Kakashi politely asked the crime fighting rabbit.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Sakura yelled loudly. "THIS CRACK IS FOR SASUKE, MYSELF, AND NO ONE ELSE! GOT THAT!"
"Fine," Kakashi spoke in an annoyed tone of voice. As soon as the emerald-eyed kunoichi was not looking, Kakashi sensei snook some of the crack from the crack bowl and hid the joints in his pocket.
Now, far, far away in the thirty-sixth row of seats in the awesome limousine, one ninja and a kunoichi were having a conversation.
"Neji, you do know what today is, don't you?" Tenten asked her black-haired, white-eyed teammate.
"Yeah. Today's the day when we got put on the same squad, and also, and unfortunately with Lee and Gai sensei," Neji answered.
"Don't you think that we should do something special, you know, since it's the anniversary of the day we meat and everything?" Tenten said.
"But what should we do?" Neji asked cluelessly.
Tenten bent over and whispered something into Neji's ear. Neji's face gained a look of surprise, followed by a look of pleasure. Then the Hyuga nodded his head in agreement.
"Why not?" Neji replied to Tenten's whispers. "We have nothing better to do while riding in this limousine."
"Thanks, Neji," Tenten spoke in response. "I promise that you won't regret this."
"I hope I won't," Neji said. "But, like I said, I don't have anything better to be doing."
"Okay then. Should we tell Lee and them all that we're just going to bed early so they won't come up and check up on it when we're in the middle of doing it?" Tenten questioned.
"No, I don't think so," Neji answered. "They might think it's suspicious. Besides, you know how Lee likes to stare at us when we're sleeping."
"True," Tenten replied. "Very true."
"All right, I'll go get everything we need and you can preheat the oven," Neji spoke slyly.
"Oh, but I think it has already been preheated," Tenten remarked suggestively. "I'll just turn it on to full heat."
Neji then left, searching in some of the nearby cupboards for something very important, very important indeed.
Five minutes later, Neji came back with a bowl that was hiding something inside. He took something out of the bowl, unwrapped it, then put the article of whatever on.
Tenten emptied the bowl and put a powder-like substance inside. Oddly, she also put a sticky, yolkish substance in as well. Then it all began.
"All right, Neji," Tenten spoke. "Let's get this thing started!"
"Yes, let's," Neji Hyuga replied. "This should be rather… interesting."
Now back to the island, Sasuke's marijuana had almost completely worn off, but Naruto was still in his own little world. Then, the horrible visions returned into Sasuke's mind.
Stop doing that Lee! Sasuke yelled in his head. I'll kill you if you go to bed with Sakura and with Gai one more time!
Ooooooooooooooooooh! So you are finally admitting to liking Sakura! Inner Sasuke remarked, just returning inside Sasuke's head. So tell me Sasuke, when are you and Sakura getting married?
Shut the fucking hell up! Sasuke fought with his own Inner Self. I don't like Sakura! And when did you come back?
I just got back from vacation this morning Inner Sasuke spoke. But when I got back you were too high, way, waaaaaaaaaaaaay too high, to notice that I had returned.
I wasn't that high! Sasuke yelled in his mind. And I don't like Sakura!
Of course you do. In fact, right now you're wishing that I would go away so you could crawl into bed with her Inner Sasuke argued. In fact, you were wishing from day one that your precious Sakura would visit you.
Sasuke then lightly blushed. He was so mad at his Inner Self, but he just couldn't stop blushing. Fine! I like her, okay! But so what! Sasuke spoke to Inner Sasuke. There, you heard it! Now what? Is it even that big of a deal!
Finally you admit it! Inner Sasuke exclaimed. Now was it really that hard to admit that? No, I didn't think so. Well, I'm off on another vacation! I'll see you later!
How is that you can just leave and come back? Sasuke asked.
You make me, kid. Inner Sasuke said. I'm just a figment of you're imagination. You made me up so you could stop being so selfish and admit that you love your cherry-blossomed Sakura. It is as simple as that.
Whatever, Sasuke said in his head.
"Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!" Tenten shrieked in delight. "FAAAAASSSSSSTTTTEEEEEEERRRRR! Ooooooooooh! Faster!" A whirring sound could be heard as Neji tightly grasped something.
"Okay then," Neji replied. "Super speed is on its way!" Then it went even faster.
"Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oooooooooooooooh!" Tenten moaned with great pleasure. "This is so exciting! And to think that it is only your first time."
"Well, I don't really have a lot of access to this kind of stuff that often," Neji said in response. "Should I stop now? I think it's about ready."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Tenten said. "We have to make sure its ready first. Completely ready."
"Okay," Neji agreed. "A few more minutes won't hurt, I guess."
"I just hope that Lee or any one else doesn't notice," Tenten spoke.
"That's for sure," Neji agreed again.
A few minutes later the whirring noise slowed to a steady halt. "If we go any longer they just might break off," Neji said.
"All right," Tenten responded. "We shouldn't over do it or our precious baby may not come out all right."
Then Neji grabbed the bowl from earlier and dumped its liquidy substances into a large circular pan. "We should save some of this stuff for later. You know, in case I can't find anything next time."
"No, just put it all in now," Tenten ordered.
"If you insist," Neji said, shrugging his shoulders. "Here it comes!" Neji took the bowl and poured the rest in.
Then footsteps were heard coming to investigate the seen. "Quick!" Tenten exclaimed. "Put the pan in the oven so the don't notice!"
Neji hastily put the pan in the nearest oven. "Hurry, put some blankets over your body so Lee doesn't see you like that!"
Tenten readily obeyed, putting blankets over her body as Neji did the same. Then the two sat down on the limousine's seats, both about seven feet away from each other.
Lee walked by and youthfully said, "Hello, my youthfully youthful teammates! What might you two be up to?"
"Nothing really," Tenten lied.
"Hn," Neji said Sasuke-style. (In my world there are Neji style 'hn's and Sasuke style 'hn's, just to let you know)
"Do you want to play 'Guess That Spandex' with Gai sensei and myself!" Lee jubilantly exclaimed youthfully.
"No thanks," Tenten spoke in a creeped out tone of voice. "I just don't think that umm… that my parents … umm… that my parents would approve of it."
"All right then," Lee said. "I shall see you later."
Then Rock Lee left to return to his sensei. Neji and Tenten sighed in relief, both at the same time. Lee was just so unpredictable they didn't know whether or not to continue. But in the end, they both had no choice. They had to finish up their business or the ingredients would spoil.
Two hours later, a white substance was squirting out of a tube-like structure that belonged to Neji. The white substance went onto the bare surface of a skin-tone colored area that was Tenten's.
"Oooooooooh!" Tenten gasped. "I can't believe that the time has passed so quickly! Especially since this is your first time Neji."
"Well, I do think that I'm good at it. Don't you?" Neji questioned.
"You're very good at it," Tenten answered. "You're the best I've ever seen at it!"
"Okay then, now for the final touch," Neji spoke. He then shoved a certain something into a certain place.
"Harder Neji, harder!" Tenten yelled enthusiastically. "Come on! For a great Ninja and compared to what you were just doing before, right now you're just a weakling!"
"But I don't want to bust it up!" Neji exclaimed. But surely enough, within a minutes he had put it all the way in.
Then, Neji and Tenten had finished their goal.
Tenten grabbed the pan and she and Neji walked up to the seats where Kakashi and Sakura were sitting, which was now just in front of where Gai and Lee were sitting.
"Mmmmm! What smells so youthfully delicious!" Gai sensei said.
"Yes, what smells of youthfulness?" Lee questioned.
"Wow, that does smell good!" Sakura exclaimed.
"It smells better than even crack!" Kakashi spoke in delight.
"It does!" Ninja Bunny spoke in delight as well.
"Aren't you suppose to be driving, Ninja Bunny?" Tenten asked.
"Eah, I just put the limousine on auto pilot," Ninja Bunny answered.
"Whatever," Neji replied. "Tenten and I made this cake for you guys for the anniversary of our squad and stuff."
"A cake! For us!" Lee said, tears running down his face. "You to actually remembered that today is the anniversary of Team Gai! I feel so joyous and youthful that you two, my fellow teammates, actually remembered, and on to of that you even made a cake to celebrate!"
"Yeah, whatever," Sakura said. "Just give me a slice of cake already!"
"Of course, my cherry-blossomed Sakura!" Lee exclaimed.
Then everyone got a single piece of cake, except for Ninja Bunny (he got half of the entire cake) because Ninja Bunny is the strongest ninja period.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the ninth chapter! Okay, just to clear up any confusion, I'm going to explain the Neji and Tenten situation. Well, Neji and Tenten really weren't having sex with each other. Instead, they were making the cake that they all ate at the end of the chapter. When Tenten and Neji were talking about heating the oven up, the literally meant heating the oven up. And the article of whatever that was in the bowl and the Neji wore was an oven mitten. The faster part with the whirring sound was the two using a blender to mix the cake ingredients. And it was Neji's first time making baked goods, not his first time having sex. And the harder part was Neji putting a candle in the center of the cake, the only place that it had not been frosted in so it was still skin-color in that area. Oh, and the white substance coming out of a tube-like structure was just vanilla frosting out of a cylindrical can of frosting. Yeah, I think that's about it. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. Thanks for reading and please review! REVIEW PLEASE!