Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers

by Crack God

After Sasuke and Naruto go to train together, Sakura feels lonely and is taken to see them. But then all of the ninja are forced to participate in a group competition inside a mansion. With disturbing things happening every day, will they survive?

11. Ninja Bunny's Story

Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers

Author: Crack God

Dedicated to: Everyone who reads this story! So please, everyone review! I have it set up so anyone can review, even if you don't have a fan fiction account!

Chapter Eleven (Chapter 11)

Ninja Bunny's Story

In the last chapter:

Tsunde resigned from being Hogake because she got accepted to work at McDonalds. She then assigned the great Ninja Bunny to be the sixth Hogake. Yay for Ninja Bunny! Oh, and you can't forget my old people poem. Here it is again in case you forgot!

Old People

Old people always use a cane

Old people are hardly ever sane

They try to cut through your bloody vein

And wash your soul down the drain

That's it! No offense to old people, of course!

Anyway, here's the chapter!

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"What the fucking hell!" Naruto exclaimed. "I'm supposed to be the next Hokage! Fucking believe it you psychos! Die in the flaming flames of fucking hell! Mwahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" -cough, cough- "Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Once Naruto was done with his rather… disturbing laugh everyone gazed in horror, even including Lee, upon the insanely insane ninja.

"How did you get inside this limousine?" Sakura asked her teammate who was suppose to be with her precious little Sasuke.

Naruto strangely moved his eyes back and forth. "I was never here," the blonde said slyly. With that, he opened up one of the limousine's doors and jumped out of it.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" everyone left in the limousine exclaimed. Now, if you know anything about the Naruto TV show and my style of writing then you should be asking yourself, "Why do they even give a fucking care about Naruto? I thought they all hated him, that is except Hinata." Well, if you're thinking that, you're correct; they all do hate Naruto in my fic, so… Believe it! The real reason why they exclaimed NO! was because the door that Naruto used to get out was left open and was causing some extreme suction and was attempting to throw all of them out to a painfully painful death that would be unbearably painfully painful atop of painstaking pain of knowing that your death will be painfully painful as you fall and fall and fall and fall and fall some more while you fall and fall and fall from the force of gravity that some how didn't affect the awesomely awesome limousine in which you were riding in. Ah, yes that awesomely awesome and sweetly sweet limousine that the great Ninja Bunny owned because he's the strongest ninja ever, especially now since he's the sixth Hokage. Now back to the awesome limousine. Yes, that awesome limousine that had 36 rows of elegantly fine leather seats. And you can't forget the awesome television sets inside this awesomely awesome limousine that was awesome. Yes, this limousine was absolutely divine. Wait, you say? You're telling me, "What do you mean the limousine WAS absolutely divine? Are you going to do something to it in the future of this story?" If you are asking yourself those questions, which you really should not be doing, then you are going to get your so called 'answer' right now. To answer your questions that you really shouldn't have been asking, to be perfectly honest I have no idea what so ever. Maybe the limousine will suddenly be affected by the force of gravity. Maybe it will be attacked by rampaging squirrels with sharp and pointy weapons. Possibly, it will be struck by a mess of super heavy and deadly feathers while flying through a fluffy cloud. Maybe it won't be hurt at all. Maybe you'll never know because I die three days after I post this chapter. I honestly don't know. Now what was I talking about before the limousine? Oh yes, I remember know. Falling! Falling while knowing that you will die an unbearable painfully painful death as soon as your soon to be lifeless body crashes into the ground of death and despair only to have your entire body explode on impact, showering miles upon miles upon miles upon miles with the blood from your crushed body that just exploded as it hit the ground and caused miles upon miles upon miles to be showered by a blanket of your blood. Falling for hours upon hours while cringing your death that will soon come. Fearing that when you finally do hit the ground that you will die a slow and painful death when in reality your death shall be dramatic but very short and you'll only experience a mere millisecond of painful agony and distress. But that painful agony and distress shall be the most painful agony and distress that anyone in the entire world has experienced. Here's a poem to further illustrate this event.

It is Raining Blood after You Fall

You can feel your body fall, fall, fall, and fall

You wish you're going up but you know you're going down

Your mind pictures your savaged body crashing on a wall

You fear that you will wear your deep red blood as a dark crown

Pain, pain beyond what you hope to imagine even in a dream

Painful agony arises into the horizon of your death

You force your mouth open and let out an agonized scream

And then you just remember where you hid your precious meth

But it is only far to late by this time, right now

The ground appears before you, menacingly and covered in sharp rocks

You remember your once beloved pet, Sweety-tweety-swucker the cow

And then you picture the one who actually did rape you; the fox

But these memories are just broken tools

For your cold body is about to be ripped to shreds

Even though you know that the author of this rules

You shall never be able to see your precious in the beds

Then it is the moment of truth, the awaited impact

Your cold flesh is ruthlessly torn by the landscape

Blood squirts out of your heart and your brains are racked

You are reminded that your intelligence is like an ape

But after the fall, and after the impact your blood rains from the sky

Red, red, and read and shortly after you find yourself dead

Your eyes keep open in pure horror after you die and say good-bye

And you say hello to the life of hell, so much worse than what you have read

But your blood continues to shower and shower

Your life is gone, as the scenery for miles will be stained red as well as life's wall

And your blood shall blossom into an evil, deadly flower

For it is raining blood after you fall

And that is the end of the poem! The cadence is really bad, but I don't care. If you haven't noticed, I typed this poem up while I was making it up. And what abut the paragraph before the poem? That paragraph has to be the longest I have ever typed for fan fiction by far! Anyway, I should get back to the story.

"Someone, hurry and close the door!" Tenten shrieked. The suction from the open door was slowly but surely sucking everyone inside the limousine out to the empty, un- supporting air.

"That damn Naruto just had to come in and kill us!" Sakura roared in anger.

"Gai Sensei!" Lee exclaimed.

"Lee!" Gai exclaimed.

"GAI!"

"LEE!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Beep- Beep- Beep--------- We interrupt this moment because of the gay unicorns are acting, well… gay, to put it bluntly. The author of this fic, Crack God, is too afraid to type this moment up, for he is afraid of these creatures- the gay unicorns. We shall fast forward the seen to a part that does not scare Crack God as much.

Fast forwarding - Fast forwarding- Fast forwarding- Fast forwarding- Fast Forwarding- Fast Forwarding

Fast forwarding completed! Now we return you to the scheduled program. Please enjoy. Enjoy or die. Thank you for your cooperation.

Lee and Gai then pulled their spandex garments back on.

"That was fun, Gai Sensei!" Lee exclaimed.

"You bet it was my boy," Gai sensei replied. "You bet it was."

"My eyes!" everyone else shrieked in pain and horror.

"Just close the door, someone!" Kakashi yelled, shielding his eyes with his arm.

"I nominate Lee and Gai!" Neji called out.

"That's good with me," Tenten replied.

Then it clicked within Sakura's head. Now was the perfect time to tell Ninja bunny that Lee was a villain (refer to chapter eight if you are lost) and then Ninja Bunny would be forced to destroy Lee.

"Yeah, Ninja Bunny! Lee's evil anyway!" Sakura shouted.

"Did I hear 'evil'?" Ninja Bunny questioned.

With that Ninja Bunny darted over to Lee and Gai and with his super superness he made them fly out of the door, and right before they fell down to their eventual death the closed the door and saved all of the others.

"We love you Ninja Bunny!" Kakashi, Sakura, Neji, and Tenten exclaimed. "You're the best ninja in the world! All hail the great sixth Hogake!" Then the four got on their hands and knees and bowed down to the great Ninja Bunny.

"Thank you," Ninja Bunny replied.

"I love you the most, Ninja Bunny!" Kakashi sensei exclaimed.

"No! I love him the most!" Tenten argued.

"Stop, stop," Ninja Bunny spoke. "Right now is story time!"

"Yay! Story Time!" Neji shouted.

"What story are you going to tell us, Ninja Bunny?" Sakura questioned.

"I'm going to tell you guys the story of how I was inspired to become a ninja." Ninja Bunny replied.

"Yay!" the four exclaimed.

"Okay then," Ninja Bunny started. "It all started about four years ago. I was a pet rabbit in a small hutch."

"How cruel!" Kakashi gasped.

"I know," Ninja Bunny replied. "Anyway, back then I looked quite different. I was a whit bunny back then. But how I longed to venture out into the wild. It didn't matter to me how I would get my food. I just wanted to be free from my tiny hutch."

"How poetic!" Sakura stated.

"Yes, very poetic indeed," the sixth Hogake spoke. "So then one day, when my owner came to feed me, I just hopped out. I ran outside before he could catch me and I darted into some bushes. Of course, he never found me. But then, out of no where, a weapon came through the bushes and almost hit me square in the head!"

"How terrible!" Neji spoke.

"Yes, I was extremely frightened," Ninja Bunny spoke. "In fact, I blacked out for a little bit. But when I came back, there was this obnoxious boy holding me in his arms. He wore a orange and blue track suit and had blood hair."

"Hmm," Kakashi spoke. "He sounds some what familiar."

"Is that so?" Ninja Bunny said. "How interesting. Anyway, after the boy let me go I ran off. Abut a week later I was confronted by a vicious pack of wolves. The cornered me up against a tree. But then I remembered how that boy threw a weapon at me. I hastily grabbed a nearby twig with my mouth and I threw it at the leader of the pack. The twig hit the wolf's nose and caused it to bleed. Then the entire pack whimpered and left me alone. From that day on I honed my skills. Soon I learned how to use my paws to fight, and that helped me a lot. From then on I started learning ninjutsu. Eventually, I got so good that I didn't eve have to use hand symbols to perform it."

"Wow!" Tenten spoke.

"Thank you," Ninja Bunny spoke. "So then I thought that I should use my skills to protect people, so I did. One day, when I was at the market, I spotted a nasty ninja who stole a woman's purse. I rocketed on the seen and I caught the ninja. When I returned the woman's purse back to her she was so happy that she taught me how to speak. From then on I earned the title Ninja Bunny, and now I'm the sixth Hogake."

"Woah!" the four listeners exclaimed. "You're amazing, Ninja Bunny!"

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A/N: That's the end of chapter 11! It was a quite bit longer than the last chapter and it has my longest fan fiction paragraph yet! And I have to say, this chapter was enjoyable to type. Oh, and Ninja Bunny's story was suppose to explain that he is the bunny in what I believe is volume 3 in the manga. You know, way back with Zabuza. Now, remember last chapter I told you to review and you'd get a better story. Well, since I had some new reviewers as well as some old ones, I made the story better in this chapter, don't you think so? Now, if you review again, or if you review for the first time I'll put even more effort into writing this fic. So please review! I won't update until I get 15 reviews, and this time I'm serious. And remember, if you review the story will get even better! REVIEW PLEASE AND THANK YOU!