Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers
Author: Crack God
Chapter Twelve (Chapter 12)
Sasuke and Sakura's Date
This chapter is dedicated to: All of you Sasuke X Sakura fans (sasuXsaku fans)
In the last chapter:
Naruto magically appeared and yelled at Ninja Bunny because he became the Hogake. Then he left the flying limousine through one of its doors, which he left open. Then the suction of the open door threatened to kill them all. Just then, Sakura remembered her plan of telling Ninja Bunny that Rock Lee was evil so that Ninja Bunny would kill Lee. Sakura followed through with her plan and Ninja Bunny through Lee and Gai out of the limousine, and the two managed to close the door that Naruto had opened. Thus, Ninja Bunny saved the day once again.
Now on with the chapter!
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It was now early morning in the limousine in which Ninja Bunny, Sakura, Kakashi, Neji, and Tenten were located inside of. Everyone was asleep, except Ninja Bunny because he has the super power to not have to sleep as much as normal ninja, such as the last Hogake. Go Ninja Bunny!
Sakura flickered her eyes open, slowly awakening. Her skin felt warm, as if someone had slept with her.
'Wow,' Sakura thought to herself. 'I feel so… relaxed.'
She stretched on the limousine's seats, raising her arms into the air. 'Now that Lee and Gai are gone I no longer have to worry about them doing something… strange again. Yeah, ever since the time when Lee did it with me when I was asleep and almost got me pregnant I have been scarred to sleep at night. But now I no longer have to worry!'
The kunoichi kicked some of the blankets off of her. But the faint sound of plastic falling to the ground caught her ears. She quickly looked at the ground only to have herself gaze in horror upon the limousine's floor.
On the floor read a plastic wrapper labeled: "Chocolate Flavored Condom; the best flavor period"
Sakura kicked at her blankets, and out rolled a man who would have been completely naked if he was not wearing his mask that covered only half his face.
"You bastard!" Sakura roared, waking up Neji and Tenten. "You and Lee are the two most perverted bastards in the entire universe, you bastards!"
"Woah, woah, woah!" Kakashi pleaded, now awake as well. "What did I do this time? Its not like I could've gotten you pregnant. You just had your period a little bit ago!"
With that, Sakura grabbed a kunai, slit her perverted sensei's throat, and then walked off to the bathroom to go clean herself.
And with that, another had died. First Lee and Gai, and now Kakashi sensei had died. Was the limousine a foul curse? Or were the deaths related from Sakura wanting the three dead?
As soon as Sakura exited the bathroom, Kakashi got up and took his turn in there. It appeared that Kakashi sensei really wasn't dead. Instead, he was simply… not hurt at all for some magical reason.
"Put some clothes on you pervert!" Sakura roared as she passed Kakashi sensei. "And aren't you afraid of my pink hair for some weird and unexplainable psychological way that no one in the entire universe, including Hogake Ninja Bunny, can even hope to comprehend."
"Nope," Kakashi replied. "I'm not afraid of pink anymore." With that he walked into the bathroom.
Sakura paced herself over to the center of the limousine, which looked quite different than before. About six rows of seats had been folded down and in their place was an enormous poker table. Ninja Bunny, Neji, and Tenten were having a grand old time playing poker.
"Can I play?" Sakura asked the three.
"No girls allowed," Tenten barked back.
"But you're a girl, Tenten," Sakura replied.
"Well then, no girls with pink hair are allowed," Tenten hissed.
"That's not fair!" Sakura protested. "Let me play or I'll kill you all!"
"Okay, okay, okay!" Tenten exclaimed, pulling up a chair for he dearest friend, Sakura.
"Why, thank you!" Sakura said in a fakey tone of voice.
The pink-haired kunoichi took her seat and started playing poker with her 'friends' that meant so much to her.
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At the end of the poker game it was between Neji and Ninja Bunny. Neji looked at Ninja Bunny's cards with his byakugan eye and knew he was outmatched. But he decided to bet all his money on this final hand. Ninja Bunny faltered. In the end he chickened out and Neji won all the cash. (Actually, it really wasn't cash. It was really the magical drug known as crack.)
"I win!" Neji exclaimed.
"Oh well," Ninja Bunny replied. CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCllllllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuunnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Kkkk-kkk-kkk- CCCCCCLLLLLLLUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Suddenly, the limousine's rocket booster thingy mobbobs started making an interesting noise.
"What's all this noise," Kakashi asked, just now coming out of the bathroom fully clothed.
"I don't know," Ninja Bunny replied.
"Who cares?" Neji said.
Then Ninja Bunny looked around, and the others followed. Eventually, they found an ultra high tech vent thingy that powered the rocket boosters on the limousine. Stuck in there was a certain someone's condom wrapper. Everyone glared at Kakashi.
"Whoopdy doo," Kakashi spoke. "At least I'm not the pilot of this limousine who just so happens to NOT be driving this limousine."
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The limousine suddenly turned down, down, down, then up, but then down again from a combination of not having a pilot and from having a certain kind of wrapper in its high tech vent.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sakura screamed in horror.
"HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Tenten screeched.
"CCCCCCCRRRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!" Kakashi exclaimed.
"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!" Ninja Bunny yelled.
"Hn," Neji 'hn'ed.
CRASH!
BAM!
BOOM!
SNAP!
CRACKLE!
POP!
RICE CRISPIES!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The limousine crashed into a certain land mass that just so happened to be the island in which Sasuke and Naruto (That is if Naruto didn't die when he fell from the limousine.) were located upon. Luckily, for everyone, the limousine did not crash into the garden of drugs.
Out of the hazy smoke around the limousine, Ninja Bunny, Kakashi, Neji and Tenten stepped out of their prized limousine.
"We might be here a while," Ninja bunny stated. "I'll stay here and fix the limousine. You guys can go and look for your friends."
"Okay," Sakura replied. With that the four (Sakura, Kakashi, Tenten, and Neji) went to go look for Sasuke. But the four decided to split up and each go in a different direction. If any of them found Sasuke, or Naruto for that matter, they were to signal the others with a confusing system of chakra that was on a red card that each one of them had. If one of them found Sasuke or Naruto they would release chakra into the card, causing it to turn blue. As soon as one card turned blue, all of the others would as well.
So Sakura began the journey of finding her one true love. (Cough- she- cough- also -cough -has -cough -a- cough-crush- cough- on- cough- Neji…Just kidding! Though I did probably make most of you Sakura X Sasuke fans mad with rage…)
To make a short journey even shorter, Sakura found Sasuke leaning on the base of a tree after only two minutes of searching for the Uchiha. She immediately released chakra into her red card, turning it blue and signally the others.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaimed in joy, sprinting to the black haired ninja. "I missed you so much!"
Sasuke stood up and turned away, secretly hiding the fact that he was blushing.
"What's wrong, Sasuke?" Sakura asked in a worried tone, halting from a sprint to a slow walk.
"Why are you here?" Sasuke coldly responded trying to act like he didn't like the cherry blossomed Sakura.
"I- I just wanted to be with you, Sasuke-kun," Sakura cried. "You already know that I care about you more than everything else in the world."
"So?" the Uchiha spoke.
Tears poured down the emerald-eyed kunoichi. She rushed towards Sasuke and turned him around. However, in this process Sasuke supposedly 'tripped' over an acorn and fell face first into Sakura's breasts.
"What the fuck!" Sakura squealed, pushing Sasuke out of her breasts.
"Dammit!" Sasuke roared. "Damn, damn, damn! I like you too, Sakura!"
Sakura's eyes changed from sorrowful to joyful in an instant. "Do you really mean it, Sasuke-kun?" the girl asked.
"Hn," Sasuke replied. "Yeah."
"I love you so much, Sasuke!" Sakura exclaimed, hugging him tightly.
"Well… umm… would you like to go to this Japanese, Chinese, and French restaurant with me?" Sasuke questioned.
"Hell yes!" Sakura shouted. "I can't believe it! My first date with Sasuke!"
So with that, Sasuke lead his new girlfriend to the restaurant. It was an enormous building. So enormous, in fact, that it was nearly impossible that you could not see it, but yet Sasuke and Naruto had just discovered its existence the previous night.
The two walked in and took a seat. They were the only customers in the building, but the place was bustling with staff. After about 500 waitresses were done fighting to serve Sasuke and Sakura, a waitress wearing a pink kimono and that had a curly French mustache greeted the two.
"What could I get you two huns?" She spoke.
After horrifically gazing at the waitress's mustache for half an hour, Sasuke finally replied.
"We'll just have today's special," the Uchiha answered.
"Okay," the waitress replied. "I'll be back in just a little bit, you two huns." With that she left.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Naruto's voice could be heard screaming in agony.
Soon the screams died out and the waitress came back to Sasuke and Sakura with a silver platter. "Eat up, you huns," she spoke. "Enjoy."
She set the platter in the center of the table, revealing a mass of a cooked substance. Then she left.
Sasuke shoved his fork into the food, and then shoved the food into his mouth. He chewed the food vigorously, making sure it was up to his standards.
"Hey!" Sasuke exclaimed after thoroughly chewing his food. "This stuff tastes great!" He hastily shoved some more into his mouth.
Quickly, Sakura tried some for herself. "Wow!" she shouted. "This is AWESOME!"
For about an hour the two 'huns' gobbled down the mystery food.
As soon as the mustached waitress came by again, Sasuke asked her, "What is this wonderful food?"
"It's Naruto," she calmly replied, then left.
Sasuke and Sakura gazed at each other in horror. They had just eaten their teammate!
Sasuke took action by puking on the floor. Sakura, however, rushed to the bathroom. In about five minutes she came back with tangled hair and eyes that made her look as if she hadn't slept in months.
"Hi, guys!" Naruto said obnoxiously, magically appearing on top of the table, missing an arm and a foot. "Did you like how I tasted?"
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Alas, but the twelfth chapter is at an end. I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry to the Ninja Bunny fans that he wasn't a significant character in this chapter, but I had a few reviews saying that Ninja Bunny was just making the story off topic. So I'd like you to vote on how significant Ninja Bunny should be when you review. So now, if you review, the story will have a better chance of going the way you want it to! Oh, and thanks for all the reviews! I exceeded my 15 new review mark, even if not all of the new reviews were for the last chapter. So remember, please review! REVIEW PLEASE!