Title: Rumble in the Jungle

Genre: Humour

Paring/s: - /

Line: 'Now can somebody please untie me'

Never piss a guy off with pink hair. I'd learnt this the hard way. Don't get me wrong, the newest member of our Organisation was great in all… but we really picked an odd duck this time.

Everyone sat in awkward silence at the long dining table. We were used to new members popping up, but none had been this hard to start a conversation up. I could see that Xigbar was bursting to say something. When didn't he? However, I think the Superior was kicking him under the table to stop him saying anything rude.

Every time Marluxia moved a shower of, I kid you not, bright pink flowers appeared. We didn't know what to make of it. I'd never seen someone's powers being used so… flamboyantly? In fact I'd never heard of flower powers. It was pretty hippy.

Luxord was in danger of swallowing his fork; he was laughing so much.

Demyx was staring at Marluxia with interest. I knew he was going to be the person to ask the question.

"Are you gay?"

Where's the punchline you say? Well I think Demyx ate that one as well. Marluxia seemed to brush it off, and casually leant towards Demyx. A single petal landed on his plate. "I can be if you want me to be"

Thunk!

With a grunt of surprise, Marluxia fell backwards onto the floor. I'd thrown a salt shaker at his face. And that's about all you need to know about our newest member.

"Please! Pair me up with Zexion," I clutched the oak desk for support. The Superior narrowed his glowing eyes. "I'll do anything.. and when I say that, I mean it."

"Be quiet," Xemnas snapped, slamming his hands flat to the desk making me jump in surprise. "Listen, Number Eight. This is your punishment, so you can take your medicine with little whinging and moaning. You got Number Nine lost in the first place," he added tartly.

I pressed my lips together. "Excuse me, sir. But I don't like to be blamed for Number Nine's own stupidity and might I add his clumsiness."

"Oh yes. He supposedly 'tripped' and fell head first into a portal you opened up," was that sarcasm? The Superior never cracked jokes.

"Okay, maybe my foot might have been in the way, but in my defence, I didn't see him in the first place," I held up my hands as if to reflex Xemnas' glares.

"Never the less," Xemnas looked at his desk in a tired manner. "You're to find him, and bring him back. With Number Eleven's help."

I ground my teeth in pure indignation. "Wait, hear me out," I deemed it safe to put my hands back on his desk and lent down. "I don't see why it can't be Zexion. He can just smell Demyx out," I reasoned.

Xemnas' face twitched for a second. "As marvellous as Number Six's.. sniffing abilities are, I still want you to-"

"Come on!" I said, raising my voice a few notches. "He's like a dog for Kingdom sake!"

"Do you people mind!" The rather disgruntled voice of Zexion floated out. Oops. He stalked over to us, a white mask covering up his mouth and nose. "As much as I'd love to go with you," his voice dripped with contempt. "I can't, as you can see."

"Oh great. Did you catch my cold?" I asked, eyeing the mask.

"No I did not," he growled. "Thanks to Number Eleven's annoying habit of casting his powers left right and centre, I've reacted to the flowers."

"So you have allergies," I grumbled, almost throwing my arms into the air. "So you can't-" I nearly cracked another nose joke, but decided not to. "-come.. alright fine, I'll take the pretty boy with me."

Smack. Fwap.

I pushed aside a few more branches, then let them sail back to hit my comrades face. I smirked each time I heard the satisfying thwack. "Axel," Marluxia growled behind me. "Do you mind?"

"No, not really," I peered over my shoulder.

Marluxia brushed roughly passed me, tail swishing dangerously. "Just be careful in the under growth, never know what's hiding in there," he jeered. A second later I fell flat on my chest, the breath whooshing out of my lungs. Vines had wrapped around my ankles and pulled me to the ground. I struggled to get up. No dice.

The wolf ahead of me grinned toothily. "Marluxia, you better let me go," I warned, snapping at the vines.

With a flick of tufted tail, Marluxia strode off, leaving me behind. "MARLUXIA!" I roared after him. I frowned, trying to wiggle my way out. Something tittered in the tree above me. Glancing up, I spied moving shapes among the lush trees.

Something heavy and furry landed in front of my face. "What's this?" it asked, prodding my soft nose.

"That's a tiger, that is," another one chittered, it's clawed hands fiddling with it's golden fur.

"Rather a long way from home, isn't 'cha?" the first one that had spoke asked. I snarled, and snapped at it. With a shriek of alarm, they all skittered a few metres back. Another growl rumbled in my throat as.. what ever it was moved closer again. "Look!" It pointed excitedly. "It's tied down."

"What should we do?" mumbled a brown hared one. "Should we take it with us?"

"Yes yes," the first one nodded. It started to stroke my head. "Such pretty fur.. I'm sure your hid will look lovely with the others," it grinned, showing broken, ugly teeth. "Let's get some more vines, to make sure it won't escape!" it barked at it's companions.

Soon, I was on my back, tied up to a thick tree branch, and being hoisted through the trees.

I had no idea where these things were taking me.

My rump hit the low branches every so often, making me wince in pain. A few leaves swatted my face, brushing my whiskers. Finally, the golden creatures swung me into a clearing. It looked like a run down old temple. White stones littered the ground, and pillars of white marked the edges.

I was dumped roughly on the ground, back on the floor. I growled indignantly. The things lopped away, calling out; "King Louie!"

Who ever this.. king was, he didn't appear to be home. Using the time, I pulled my paws down, and started to gnaw my way free. There was a screech and I was ripped away from the vines.

The ground jumped, as something large made it's way over to me. The creatures had me pinned to the ground. The thing was large, much larger than the other critters. He was a soft gold, and had a wide flabby mouth. He lent down to peer at me.

"What's this?" he asked.

"A tiger," one piped up.

"I can see that, you idiot," he snapped, hitting him over the head.

"Ow!" he whimpered. "We-we thought we could use his pretty fur for a rug.."

"What an excellent idea!" He gushed, brightening up. "Put him with the other prisoners," he ordered. Again, I was hoisted off my paws, and being swung up the stone steps. I hit my head on each one.

I was then tossed tail first into a cage. It had been made from the white stones, and old metal bars they must have dug up from somewhere. The bars clanked shut. Suddenly I felt fits pummel my fur, and somebody yelling.

"Stop it!" I roared, and whoever it was, backed off at once. I pivoted on my back, to see who was trying to attack me. I saw an upside down brown skinned boy. He was staring at me with savage eyes.

"You must die," the boy said, holding up a sharp looking rock. "You killed my people."

"No wait," a timid voice said, and a golden furred creature appeared on the kids shoulder. The fur around his face was fluffed out like a lions. "Don't hurt him, he's been taken like us."

"But, Demyx .. he's a tiger," the boy tried to explain. Everything else the kid said, I was oblivious to.

"Demyx?!" I yelped. "Is that you?"

The creature stared at me with a confused look.

"Oh you idiot," I sighed. "It's me, Axel! Oh thank God. Now Xemnas won't kill me, 'cos I found you!" I said ecstatically, rolling around on my back. "Now can somebody please untie me!!"

After a lengthy discussion, with many questions on Demyx' part, everyone had their story straight. The little boy was Mowgli, and had grown up in the forest raised by a pack of wolves. He's been taken by the apes because they believed they could give them fire. Demyx had found Mowgli in the forest when he had been separated from his friends ( a panther and bear ) and had come for the ride. Demyx was apparently a Golden Lion Tamarin, whatever that hell that was.

"Well," I sighed, my tail twitching absentmindedly. "Now we have that sorted out, we can go home," I nodded at Demyx's cherub like face.

"Hold on," he interrupted with a frown. "We can't just leave Mowgli."

"..Yes we can. Demyx, we're not supposed to interfere with the worlds," I growled quietly. "And this world doesn't even have heartless."

"But… but we can't just leave him," he whined pathetically. My lip curl in distant. "Look," he tried to reason with me. "You have fire powers. So, the apes will be happy if you show them. Then Mowgli can be set free."

I scowled, my whiskers pulling up with the action.

Five minutes later, I was melting the steel bars. We then found ourselves surrounded by angry monkeys. They must have smelt the burning metal. "You want fire?" I asked, stepping forward. "Here!" I took a breath, and blew out, and flicker of flame escaping my mouth.

Then a few things happened at once. Little darkness portals opened up around us, jittering heartless appearing. The monkeys all started to panic. A jet black panther and blue bear came crashing through the jungle, screaming bloody murder as another pack of heartless chased after them. By creating the fire, I'd weakened the worlds 'heart' so the heartless had found their way in.

The way worlds worked was like this. The world is created. As it's created, the world's life is planned out. Anything that disrupts the worlds life, can cause a massive rip in time, weakening the world for about a second before it repairs it's self. It's a little like time travel. If you destroy something, then something bad happens. Technically, nobody should be able to travel to different worlds. Our presents enough was disturbing the balance.

I frowned at Demyx, who grinned sheepishly at me.

"This is all your fault!" I roared, as we launched ourselves at the heartless.

"And that's what happened," I finished, as I flicked a few smudges of ashes off my nose. Behind me, Demyx had collapsed into a high back chair; his face cut in many places. The only person unharmed, was Marluxia.

Xemnas and Xigbar both had 'the deer in the head lights' look. Xigbar had one hand on Xemnas's shoulder; the other was pinching the bridge of his nose. One was to stable his body, the other to stable his train of though.

"So… you started a forest fire?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said soberly. "On the bright side, it wiped out the heartless."

"On the down side, you nearly wiped out the world," Xemnas spat out. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Well obviously you weren't thinking."

"The world will repair it's self," I said nervously, twiddling my fingers.

"Do you know what you just caused?" Xemnas asked dangerously, deeming it safe to stand on his feet without having the need to sit back down. "You just caused a bottleneck to appear. No wait," he stared at the wall, deep in thought. He glanced at Xigbar. "I want you, and Number Ten to go back, and rewrite time."

"Since when do you care?" I yelled incredulously.

"I don't 'care'," he smirked. "I just don't approve of neophytes screwing up! If a world disappears, the whole of the universe will be thrown out of balance. Like it isn't out of balance enough," he muttered. "The point is, now that world had darkness in it. There's a high chance the Keyblade wielder will go there."

My shoulders literally caved in. Of course. "Now, the pair of you can bugger off," Xigbar said, pushing them towards the door. "We picked up a new member while you were away. You can help her settle in."

"'Her'?" I inquired hesitantly.

"Don't worry, her personality is electrifying."

END

-shot for corniest ending eva and probably title as well-

I could have kept prattling on. I'd like to move this along frankly

-Ixi