Written by: Crack God
A/N: I was going to have the end of chapter special in this chapter, but then I decided to make it in the next chapter. Please don't kill me! I'll tell you what it is going to be about anyway; it shall be about how I killed the Kool Aid man (remember; from the other note at the end of chapter 14). The reason why I am postponing it is because I want some of you, my faithful readers, to be in it. The person who gives me my 153rd review will automatically be in the end of chapter special. Why 153, you ask? I honestly don't know, I just picked a number at random. If you do happen to be the one who gives this fic its 153rd review I will send you a form making sure that you want to be in the end of chapter special and that asks what you want your role to be. But never fear; even if you are not the one who gives this story its 153rd review you still have a chance of being in the end of chapter special! I will pick two additional people at random that have reviewed this chapter and put them in the end of chapter special as well. I will also send these two people a form confirming that they are willing to be in the end of chapter special and asking them what they want their role to be. If this chapter gets over 153 reviews then I will pick three people at random as well as the 153rd reviewer to be in the end of chapter special and if this fic reaches its 160th reviewer then I will pick 6, yes 6, people at random to be in the end of chapter special as well as the 153rd reviewer. So the more reviews this fic gets the better your chance of being in the end of chapter special is!
In the previous chapter: Neji HATES Kool Aid
Neji and Gaara stumbled across a beach while thye were high. They saw 'purple bunnies' and ran over to them to play. Then things got better; the 'purple bunnies' gave them 'pocky'! But after that the two ninja found out that the 'purple bunnies' were weird, so they ran away. Mean while, in the restaurant Choji, Ino, Shikamaru, Kurenai, Asuma, Kiba, Shino, and Hinata fell through the ceiling and magically appeared. Upon further investigation, Kakashi found out that Kurenai and Asuma were on their honeymoon, and they brought their squads so that their students could learn a thing or to about S- E- X. Then Neji and Gaara hurried into the restaurant and slammed the door shut after they checked to make sure that the 'purple bunnies' weren't inside. Sasuke yelled at Gaara for being in his precious garden, and soon Kurenai and Asuma were scolding Kakashi sensei for letting his students do drugs. Then Gai sensei appeared, the 'purple bunnies', that were actually turkey vultures, attacking him. Then Gai, followed by the others, ran to the freezer room to save Lee, only to see that Lee was with Ino. Rock Lee jumped out of the freezer and offered some Kool Aid to everyone. Neji started freaking out and he had a flashback to Lee's birthday party and how the 'white' Kool Aid man was there with all the little boys and how he himself had to hide in a closet. Then when the flash back was over, Neji sucked his thumb, terrified of the horrible event. Well, that was pretty much it.
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Chapter Fifteen (Chapter 15)
Chapter Title: Ninja Bunny's New Mansion
Now on with this installment of Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers!
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"Neji, hello," Tenten spoke. "Snap out of it! Stop sucking your thumb!"
"I'm afraid it's useless, Tenten," Gai sensei spoke, knowing why Neji snapped but the green clad sensei didn't bother to tell the others why.
"Well, let's eat!" Choji exclaimed. "After all, this IS a restaurant."
"You know what?" Kakashi sensei spoke. "That's a great idea!"
"It does make perfect sense," Asuma remarked.
With that all of them walked out of the freezer room, except Neji whom Tenten carried, and took a seat at a huge wooden table that had a circular frame. Naruto sat at the very north. To Naruto's right was Hinata, and to her other side was Kiba, Akamaru on his head like always. To the other side of Kiba was Gai, who was sitting next to Lee, who was also sitting by Sakura. On the other side of Sakura was Sasuke and the Uchiha was also, unwillingly for that matter, sitting next to Ino. Choji sat between Ino and Shikamaru and to the other side of Shikamaru was Tenten. On the other side of Tenten was Neji. The Hyuga also sat next Kakashi. The silver haired ninja sat next to Kurenai, who in turn sat next to Asuma. To the other side of Asuma was Shino. On they other side of Shino was Gaara, and on the other side of Gaara was an empty chair. On the other side of the Empty chair was Naruto.
After about another hour of the waitresses fighting over who would get to serve the seventeen ninjas, the same waitress that served Sakura and Sasuke with the French moustache was victorious and walked over to the table to serve them.
"What can I get you huns?" the waitress spoke.
"I'd like your naruto, please," Sakura stated.
"I'd like some naruto as well," Sasuke said.
"Me too!" Naruto exclaimed. "I want to know what I taste like!"
"Naruto sounds good," Kakashi remarked.
"I'll have the naruto as well," Neji spoke.
"Same here," Shikamaru spoke. "It would be far to troublesome to eat anything else."
"Naruto, please," Tenten replied.
"I'll try some naruto, too," Ino spoke, squeezing her breasts in front of Sasuke.
"Naruto," Kiba replied.
"N-naruto, p-please," Hinata stuttered, looking down, secretly at the lump in Naruto's pants that showed where his penis was located.
"Naruto, or I'll kill you with my sand," Gaara harshly replied.
"Naruto, or I'll send my bugs after you," Shino replied, trying to beat Gaara.
"Some youthful naruto, please!" Lee exclaimed.
"Whatever Lee eats, I eat," Gai replied.
"I'd like some naruto as well, please," Asuma replied.
"Same here, please," Kurenai said.
"Okay, so that's seventeen orders of naruto," the waitress spoke. "I'll be right back, you huns."
"You better make that eighteen orders of naruto," Ninja Bunny said, magically appearing and taking the empty chair. Since he became Hokage everyone knew who he was so an introduction to everyone and anyone was unnecessary
"Congratulations!" The waitress exclaimed. "You, Ninja Bunny, are our 1,000,000th customer! You have one the grand prize of a brand new mansion!"
"What the fuck!" Sasuke exclaimed. "You haven't even had fifty customers!"
"That's what they want you to think," the waitress replied. "Now, Ninja Bunny, would you like your naruto to go so we can immediately fly you to your new mansion. It is on an island off of the village hidden in the waves."
"Sure," Ninja Bunny replied. "But can all of my friends here accompany me?"
"Why not," the waitress replied. "After all, you ARE the Hokage."
"Okay then," Ninja Bunny replied. "When can we leave?"
"Now," the waitress replied. "There is a jet plane waiting as we speak."
"What about my awesome limousine?" the new Hokage spoke. "I just finished fixing it. Can the jet take it as well?"
"Most certainly," the mustached woman said. "I'll go fetch all you huns your naruto so you can eat on the go." With that she left.
Ninja Bunny then took a moment to view his surroundings. But of course, he knew everyone there because he's awesome. Upon further investigation, however, he realized that Naruto's arm was missing.
"Naruto, what happened to your arm?" Ninja Bunny questioned.
"The red haired dude next to you tore it off," Naruto replied.
"Well you can't just leave it like that," the Hokage replied. "Here, I'll perform a jutsu to have your arm instantly grow back."
Ninja Bunny started moving his paws in various formations, then placed them upon the bloody stub that Naruto had left for an arm. Green and violet chakra came out of the rabbits paws in erupting amounts. Within mere seconds the fox boy whose inner demon's healing should have, but did not, given him a new had a new arm from the almighty Ninja Bunny.
A single minute later, the waitress returned and gave them all their naruto- to- go.
"Please follow me and I shall escort you huns to your jet plane," she spoke. "And Ninja Bunny, your limousine has already been loaded."
With that, they all followed the waitress to the jet plane, including Neji whom was perfectly sane now. But something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. The only thing was that Gaara couldn't place his finger on it.
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Meanwhile, in the jungle on the island that Naruto and the others were about to leave, several cries could be heard. But the cries were not cries that you might expect from within a jungle, such as sex moans. Instead they were something no one would ever expect from within a savage jungle. They were cries of fear. I mean, cries of fear are for when you're trapped in a closet and the Kool Aid man is on the other side of the door, not for when you're in a savage jungle!
Several orange blurred figures jumped from spot to spot. They were small, but they were the top predators on the island. And their prey were two ninja from the Village Hidden in the Sand. Kankuro and Temari.
"Okay, this is not fucking funny," Kankuro whined. He had wet himself six times now within the last five minutes.
"Pull yourself together!" Temari hollered. "And stop peeing your damn pants! You're making it smell foul!"
"But the foxes are going to kill us!" the puppet master whined. "They already got our sensei!"
"Yeah, they did," Temari stated. "But since they got him their bellies will be full for a while."
"But he can't feed all of them!" Kankuro shouted. "There are thousands of them!"
Then, from a tree branch, a red fox jumped down and attacked the two with vicious fangs and abnormally long claws.
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"Hey Gaara," Neji spoke to his new friend. "What's wrong? You don't seem like yourself."
"Oh, nothing," Gaara replied. "I'm just getting this feeling as though something is wrong."
"It is probably nothing," Neji said.
"Yeah, I bet you're right," Gaara spoke.
Then the boarding stairs for the plane was lowered and the eighteen, nineteen if you include Kiba's little doggy, boarded the plane. The plane was a whole lot bigger than Ninja Bunny's limo, but it wasn't even close to being as nice. But still, it was nice all the same. It had seats bigger the beds and a few high definition televisions, so it was pretty darn good.
By now it was already nighttime and everyone got ready to call it a day and go to sleep right after they ate their naruto. Everyone had their own sleeping area, and Sakura made sure Kakashi was far away from her while Sasuke made sure that the fucking whore Ino was as far away from him as possible.
The plane wasn't scheduled to reach Ninja Bunny's new mansion until 11 o'clock a.m. the preceding morning. Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, and Neji went to sleep after eating but the others stayed up a little later before hitting the hay. To keep warm they all had their own blankets.
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Sakura's emerald eyes flickered open as the warm rays of sunlight tickled her face. It was now early morning and Sakura was the first one to wake up. She sat up and stretched her arms out, followed by her legs.
They young kunoichi felt a warm object brush against her feet. It was just the right temperature to be someone else's skin. The girl hurriedly looked around, discovery that Kakashi was quit a distance away, as well as Sasuke.
She eerily cranked her head only to see spiky blonde hair poking out of the same blanket that she was under.
"Naruto, you bastard!" Sakura roared. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"
Naruto hastily jumped out from under the blanket, revealing the fact that he was completely nude.
"Woah, woah!" Naruto yelled. "I swear I didn't do anything! Gaara dared me to do it! I swear he did!"
"You're telling me that Gaara dared you to sleep with me while you were NAKED!" Sakura roared.
"Well, not the naked part," Naruto replied. "I just wanted to try that out to see how it felt."
"Just put some damn clothes on!" Sakura yelled.
"Okay, okay, okay!" Naruto cried. "Which reminds me; my only pair of boxers that I brought are still under the blanket."
"And why in fucking hell do you only have one pair of boxers!" Sakura hissed. "That is completely disgusting!"
"So I under- pack! Whoopdie doo!" Naruto spoke. "Just give me my boxers or do you want be to stay nude right in front of you!"
Sakura threw the blanket up, snatched Naruto's boxers, then chucked them at the blonde. Naruto hastily put them on then walked over to his own sleeping area.
Naruto is a complete fucking bastard! Sakura furiously thought. I wish I could just kill that damn kid!
After about ten or fifteen minutes, Hinata came and walked over to Sakura. She was doing her usual thing with her two index fingers; pressing them together.
"Oh, hi Hinata," Sakura greeted her fellow kunoichi.
"H-hi," Hinata stuttered. "I w-wanted to ask y-you s-something."
"Hit me," Sakura replied.
"W-well, did y-you see… did you s-see N-Naruto's… th-thing?"
"You mean his penis?" Sakura questioned, realizing that Hinata had observed her quarrel with the hyper- active blonde ninja.
"Y-yes," Hinata answered. "D-did you s-see it?"
"Yeah," Sakura replied. "What about it?"
"W-well," Hinata started, "was it big?"
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A/N: This may be hard to believe, but to tell the truth the main story line hasn't even started yet, and will most likely start next chapter. There is a specific, important reason why this fic is called 'Perverts, Freaks, and Lovers', and this reason will become evident soon. Wait, you say, why am I telling you this now? Well, to answer that question, Ninja Bunny's new mansion will be the location of the main plot of the story. Sorry, but I ain't gonna say any more.
Now about this chapter. My sister was the one to force me to make Hinata ask Sakura at the end and all that shit, so I was NOT the one who came up with that, just to let you know. Hn. Originally, this chapter wasn't funny at all so I had to add some parts to it and attempt to spice it up, but I honestly think that I didn't do that great of a job. I really appreciate you for reading and please review. Yes, you too, read-n-review! Hn. Remember, the 153rd reviewer gets to be in the end of chapter special as well as some others! I don't feel like retyping it so I'll just copy and paste the original one.
I was going to have the end of chapter special in this chapter, but then I decided to make it in the next chapter. Please don't kill me! I'll tell you what it is going to be about anyway; it shall be about how I killed the Kool Aid man (remember; from the other note at the end of chapter 14). The reason why I am postponing it is because I want some of you, my faithful readers, to be in it. The person who gives me my 153rd review will automatically be in the end of chapter special. Why 153, you ask? I honestly don't know, I just picked a number at random. If you do happen to be the one who gives this fic its 153rd review I will send you a form making sure that you want to be in the end of chapter special and that asks what you want your role to be. But never fear; even if you are not the one who gives this story its 153rd review you still have a chance of being in the end of chapter special! I will pick two additional people at random that have reviewed this chapter and put them in the end of chapter special as well. I will also send these two people a form confirming that they are willing to be in the end of chapter special and asking them what they want their role to be. If this chapter gets over 153 reviews then I will pick three people at random as well as the 153rd reviewer to be in the end of chapter special and if this fic reaches its 160th reviewer then I will pick 6, yes 6, people at random to be in the end of chapter special as well as the 153rd reviewer. So the more reviews this fic gets the better your chance of being in the end of chapter special is!
Please review and thanks for reading all of what you've read and please continue to read!