Written by: Crack God
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Chapter Twenty-ThreeKakashi's Proposal
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The morning sun finally revealed itself after a very long night. The lovers team had stayed up all night to lose the weight they had gained from the night they had eaten watermelon. Choji was still missing, but Tenten was currently fixing that problem. She found a broomstick and stuck a pumpkin at the end of it. Now, she was drawing Choji's face on the orange sphere with a black permanent marker. For a final touch, she put Ino's lace thong on 'Choji's' head.
Tenten, however, needed one final touch: to turn the fake Choji into a puppet. And there was only one puppet master in the house.
-Knock, knock, knock-
After much wandering around the mansion, finding a cookie on the ground, and resisting the sudden urge to eat it, Tenten softly rapped on Kankuro's door. A loud shuffling noise could be heard, including the sound of a pant zipper going up. Soon, however, the kitty boy answered the door, opening it only enough so that Tenten couldn't see inside.
"Yes?" he replied slowly, having no idea who Tenten was.
"Teach me how to make and use puppets," the kunoichi replied slyly, "or I'll make sure everyone in the mansion gets to see these." She pulled out a think yellow envelope from behind her back.
"And… what exactly… are they?" Kankuro replied hesitantly. He really did have a pretty good idea of what they were.
Tenten opened the envelope and began flipping through a stack of photographs. One was of him trying on Temari's make up, another of him sleeping in the same bed as Gaara, and the last one was the worst of all: Kankuro dancing to 'Firgilicious' while singing along in his underwear. His whitey tighties.
"What exactly do you want from me?" Kankuro asked. "And how the hell did you get these?"
"Lee gave them to me. He's been spying on you this whole time," Tenten replied with a big smile on her face. "You see, I'm bribing him with something else. And no, you don't want to know the details."
"…Come on in," Kankuro ever so graciously allowed Tenten to enter. Now it was apparent why he didn't want her to see the inside of his room. 'My Little Ponies' were everywhere. Upon seeing the newcomer, they hid under Kankuro's bed, however.
Tenten ignored as Sugar, Chocolate, and Cherry disappeared. Kankuro opened his closet and began throwing out playboy magazines until he found a very dusty black book that had various bloodstains upon its pages.
"Sugar, go get my wire box," Kankuro ordered one of his three henchmen. "It should be there under my bed…"
Sugar obeyed and dropped a yellow box by Kankuro's feet.
"Do you have anything started yet?" the kitty boy asked Tenten.
In a matter of seconds, Tenten shoved her broomstick and pumpkin head in Kankuro's arms.
With the help of Sugar, Chocolate, and Cherry, Kankuro got the job done in five minutes. He then thrust the book into Tenten's hand.
"It's finished. Here's the instruction manual," he spoke, giving her the stained book.
Tenten looked at Kankuro's work. Choji now had two plastic arms, two new log legs… and had two enormous breasts made via balloons.
"He's perfect," Tenten announced, and smuggled the puppet down the halls back to her own room.
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The Freaks, Perverts, and Lovers group walked towards the place where the results for the weight loss competition would be announced. One person was missing from the Freaks team, and another from the Perverts
"Umm… where's Shikamaru and Shino?" Ninja Bunny asked. By now he was used to asking questions. A lot of them.
"Shikamaru will be joining us shortly," Asuma answered. "He has some… issues to be taken care of."
"And Shino?"
"He's dead," Gai replied.
"Okay then," Ninja Bunny said, not the least bit concerned. "Let's weigh you guys in."
"Umm, one question, please," Neji asked. "How do you know our weights from before."
"I had Lee stalk you all in your sleep to find out," the sixth Hokage casually replied. "Now let's get into the weigh-ins. I would have Anko call out your names, but she seems to be in the bathroom, so I'll do the honors."
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-Knock, knock, knock-
Anko knocked on the already open door to Sasuke's bathroom. She then just walked in.
Shikamaru was pulling his pants up, which were now much to big to fit around his waist, so they kept on falling down.
"Ya, know," Anko sexily said. "Teenage boys have a lot of stuff pent up. Do you wanna get it all out now?"
The two then proceeded to have sex until Shikamaru didn't have any sperm left. And, as it turned out, the weight of his sperm had been the only thing keeping him on the ground. So he then began floating on air.
So then, he started floating down the stairs to reach the meeting place.
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"Hinata, please step on the scale," Ninja Bunny said. Magically, a scale had appeared right next to the Hokage.
The once-again perfectly slender Hinata went up and took a step on the scale. She now weighed 123.1 pounds.
"Congratulations, Hinata, you've lost fifty-one pounds," Ninja Bunny announced. "Tenten, please step on the scale."
Hinata got off of the scale and was replaced with the weapons kunoichi. After standing for a few seconds, the scale confirmed her weight to be 119 pounds.
"Congratulations," Ninja Bunny said. "With this, the Lovers group has lost a grand total of 103 pounds. Kurenai, it is your turn."
Tenten joined the rest of the girls and Kurenai to her place on the scale. She was now 132 pounds.
"The Lovers team has now lost a total of 153 pounds. Does any one have a chance at beating them?" Ninja Bunny asked dramatically. "Sakura, it's your turn."
Sakura walked up and stood on the scale. She was now 122 pounds. "Take that Kakashi!" she exclaimed. "I'm NOT fat! In your face!"
"I'm so sorry I doubted you, honey," Kakashi sloppily apologized. He ran up to the scale to give his girlfriend a hug. After a long one, he then bent down on his knee and pulled something out of his pocket.
"Sakura, will you marry me?"
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A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review.