Despair
Some said despair was a hot, angry thing, borne out of frustration and inability to succeed at something.
Lee knew better.
Despair was cold, isolating ... it clung to you like icy fingers, gripping your heart and soul and freezing you from the inside out. It was borne not out of frustration but loss. Having had something precious and lost it ... possibly forever.
Despair was lonely. Anger, frustration - those were emotions one could experience with others. They could be shared, and in their shared-ness they could be alleviated. It was impossible to despair with others. It was something that only took hold in the darkest and loneliest of times, haunting you, taunting you ... making you so cold that you felt nothing could warm you ever again.
Kara had caused him to feel many things. Rage, anger, frustration, confusion, lust, love ... but her retreat to New Caprica had left him with nothing. Nothing but despair. The cold emptiness that beckoned suicide.
For what purpose was there in living when you couldn't feel anything?