Chapter 5- Not a word- Taker.
It seems there are those who think I don't pull my own weight… no pun intended. But the fact of the matter is… I don't like to brag… second… I don't want this used against me later on. While Kane and his family have been doing realm jobs together… I got a job of my own at a different place... reluctantly. Kahn came up to me and told me about it. "You going?" he asked.
I laughed him off. "PUNK! THORN REALM JOB!" I called, no answer. "MATT? JOHN?" no answer for that either. "BATISTA!" every… every dragon was gone, Kahn smirked to me knowing that in the first place. "There's no other dragon to go and do this?" I demanded.
"You're the one with the empty gut, you'll be the only one with an empty gut as soon as those guys get back" he explained. Aw Hell, I HAVE to go to this one. "The realm needs help and on the brink of dying. You don't go it's going to make all you dragons look bad…"
"Oh shut up already! I get it," I growled back at him. Kahn took me there and dropped me off at the realm. Luckily I can teleport back. Kane taught us one lazy afternoon, I think he go tried of always being the one to come and pick us up.
The realm looked magnificent! A lush land that appeared to not have a problem at all, however, I only saw one side of it. The moment I arrived people were in great celebration of me, that I didn't mind.
It almost felt like I won on the grandest stage of them all, all over again. But the leader of this place told my why everyone was so joyous. "We are in great need of you dragon… this is the only land we have left." She explained.
"Only land you have left?" I asked. She took me to the mountains were we hiked just a little, and then she pointed. Across the mountain was nothing, absolutely nothing! "They devoured everything," she said shedding a tear. "We have lost all of our livestock and nearly the crops. Many have starved…" she didn't need to give me the whole story, the last thing I need is a guilt trip on a jobsite.
"How many are there?" I asked of her.
"Last we counted six"
Six… six swine did this? ALL of this? And I can end it with one stomach, I knew then and there I was in over my head… again. Damn Raiden. Damn Kane for starting all of this.
"Where are they?" I asked of her.
"We contained them in a prison, they will not be held there for much longer, they grow restless!"
"Do you have honey, or King's gold?" I asked. I remember Jeff telling me the story of that, thing is I ain't drinking no twenty pounds of bee barf! She nodded to me saying that was in great plenty.
"Feed what you can spare to the swine," I told her. She was stunned.
"Why dragon?"
"Trust me and I will get rid of them all the more faster" My gut was saying otherwise. I have only done this once, and that was with Kane's boys showing me how to get ten years younger. I thought it would be the last time I had to deal with these swine, I waited for the people to feed them the honey however the leader came to me.
"They won't drink it! They refuse to drink it!" she said in utter panic.
I decided to go and check it out, I found the swine being held in a wooden pen, it was cracking under pressure and the things looked as ugly as ever. They snorted to me. "Dragon"
"Pigs" I replied back. "Why ain't you drinking this great stuff huh?" I asked.
The swine weren't that stupid, but still dumb enough to trick. "It's poisoned!" One sneered. "We won't drink it!"
Great, just great, now I got to prove it's not poisoned. Taking a grail of the stuff I showed the swines it wasn't toxic, dipping my fingers into it and licking them clean. The honey wasn't that bad come to think of it. "Cleaver trick, that's just a small amount, a grail will kill the likes of us!" said another swine.
Rolling my eyes I sucked it up and drank down a grail of the honey, proving to them it wasn't poisonous. Still, they didn't believe me. "It's a lie!"
"OH GROW UP! You want to be such babies about it then I challenge you to a drinking contest!" I snapped back.
This… intrigued the swine. "Go on"
"You will face me in the drinking of King's Gold, he who drinks the most… wins. And if it's poisonous like you claim it is, you get a dead dragon out of it"
The swine still believed the honey was cursed or something but agreed to the contest and drank. We matched each other pint for pint, grail for grail until I was getting sick of the stuff after my third drink. My gut began to look and sound weird from all the honey, but I lucked out, since the swine had not eaten in days… they passed out after the fourth grail of honey. Ordering the cage to be lifted, the people did so cautiously. I stared down at the drunken swine who passed out. This wasn't going to be pretty… especially for me!
I downed them one by one, I don't know how Hardy made it through all of this. But I could feel my gut get weighed down. My stomach expanding beyond its intention, by the third swine I had to really force it down. Slapping my chest hard to work it down into my gut. But there were still three to go. I remembered if you pace yourself you get feel fuller that way… what I have to go is choke these pigs back as fast as possible! I shoved one into my mouth and used the other to shove the one in my mouth down into my gut… it seemed like a good idea at the time… yet when I came to the last one, I was damn full! "Please, even if one lives it can destroy everything still" the leader begged.
My gut was about to say otherwise. I sounded more like a full water balloon with a water cooler than anything. "Ok, ok… one more can't hurt… right?" I asked myself. Note to self… never talk to myself again!
The sixth swine got stuck half way, I made the mistake of swallowing it feet first thinking it would be easier, no… it came out of it's drunken state the moment it was at the back of my throat! But I seriously had no more room! I managed to close my mouth and chew it for a while, force of habit when I got something in there. I must have spent a good twenty minutes doing this, and keep it within my… contained sort of speak. "Is it down?" the leader asked.
Moving its arms and head to the side of my cheek I told her. "Not quite, but it ain't going no where…" Just then it's arm came out my mouth unexpectedly, making the people gasp in utter horror to the sight of it. I managed to slurp it down, and somehow… I found room to stick that son of a pig.
I remember passing out soon after that… and coming too with a very full gut… There was a celebration all around me and I was decorated with flowers and gold! The gold was quite nice if I do say so. I was thanked for my services and was allowed to leave at any time. But… I think I'll go back once the big ass gut is gone…
That was about two days later when I remembered all my past injured. My hips in particular… how ironic huh? The swines went right to them, and now they are better than ever! I returned home with my gold haul as I saw Punk and Thorn resting in a locker room on full stomach, they spoke lazily about their task and adventure. But the gold and treasures they were given. "I could get use to this" Punk said as he rubbed his gut.
"Ditto on that… How do we claim this at tax time though?"
I rolled my eyes as I walked away from the boys; I've been concerned about Kane though. He's not losing anything he eats and it never happened before, makes me wonder if there's something else going on.