School is the torture technique of all parents that they used on their children to induce death by boredom and desperation for the end of the day.
Disclaimer- I do not in any circumstances own Petshop of Horrors or Harry Potter 'cause if I did their world would be in utter chaos that is not done by anyone from the magical world, only by my friends and me. I also do not own any other name/object/toy that might be recognised in this fanfic.
"………" talking
'………' thoughts
"………" Parseltongue
/……/ mental talk
-……- other languages that is not English
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Chapter Fourteen
Harry sat by the lake with Nema, Limbo, Kai and Li Tao sunning themselves as he read a spell from Salazar's book with interest. "Ne, Yami," called out Nema as Harry tilted his head in acknowledgement without his eyes leaving the page. "When do we blow up Lord Dickhead's base?"
This caused the others to stare at him blankly while Harry looked up with a raised eyebrow. "Why do you want to blow up his base?" asked Harry with curiosity and amusement colouring his voice.
"Cause it gets this job over and done with," answered Nema with confidence. "And it gives me a chance to see people running around like headless chickens when the building falls around them."
"You are an idiot," said Kai blankly as Li Tao and Harry snickered at the start of another argument while Limbo chuckled. "There would be no point in blowing up the base if the so-called 'Dark Lord' comes here to Hogwarts for the final battle."
"But it gives the others something to do," whined Nema slightly as Harry decided to interrupt before it became a full on fight.
"Look you two," spoke up Harry as Kai ignored Nema for the moment. "Why don't we do both? After I cast this little spell, I'll be able to be in both places at once and T-Chan and I can use the explosives that we……borrowed from those yakuza to blow up the place after we get out any of the living prisoners.
"And since this spell has the benefit that should one of the bodies die, from either natural or super natural causes, the conscience in one would just go to the other living body without the complications of the 'dead' body affecting the 'living' one."
Limbo gave Harry a curious glance as Harry explained all this with a happy face and a smile. "Where did you find this spell Harry?" asked Limbo as Harry only gave them a large grin before showing them a page in Slytherin's book.
"Right here," chirped Harry with a rather dark grin as he tapped the page with his index finger.
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Meanwhile in the dungeons, the whole Slytherin House was having a meeting to discuss their new treaty/agreement with the former 'Golden Boy' of the 'Light'.
"How do we know that he isn't going to turn on us when the war's over?" asked a third year as the majority of the House nodded while murmurs filled the air.
Draco, Blaise and the two seventh year representatives that were there at the meeting waited until the Common Room quieted before speaking.
"Potter won't do that," said Draco calmly and confidently to the rest of the House. "He not only signed a magically binding contract to ensure our safety, he also swore a magical oath."
Mentally laughing at his fellow Slytherin's rather shocked faces, Blaise chose to speak up then and add another little tidbit. "He also seemed to be acting like quite the Slytherin when he told us, subtly mind you, about a book that would spill everything about Dumbledore with no false leads in it at all," said Blaise with mirth at the ensuing chatter and exclamations of disbelief.
-By the lake-
"ACHOO!" sneezed Harry loudly as the book fell onto the grass which startled Nema and Li Tao, distracting them from their plans of destroying Voldemort's base
"Bless you," said Limbo with a smile as Harry thanked him while pulling out a tissue from his pocket.
"Wonder if I got a cold," muttered Harry as Li Tao grinned.
"Maybe someone's talking 'bout ya Yami," said Li Tao with a rather wicked glint in her eyes. "You got a girlfriend we don't know about?"
A blade of grass transfigured into a very sharp and very pointy dagger was thrown and landed behind her, sticking out of the ground like a sore thumb. "Ah," she said with a sage-like tone. "So it's a guy, not a girl."
Now, an anvil could be seen flying for her head before she ran away into the forest with Harry throwing more sharp and/or heavy things after her while the others laughed.
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The next morning Harry, who was still a bit sour from Li Tao's comments, sat down at the Great Hall mentally laughing maniacally in glee at what was going to happen once everyone was there for breakfast. Fireworks were going to fly………literally.
Piling food onto his plate, Harry ate his food at a normal pace as he waited for the last person, a first year Hufflepuff, to sit down on their table as the doors closed for a short time.
Not five minutes had passed when the sounds of fireworks filled the air and people yelped in surprise as fireworks sprang out from under the tables in their respective House colours. Some even came out from the Head Table, the most noticeable one being the one that came out from the Headmaster's chair causing both the chair and him to jump about half a meter(1) into the air.
Everyone stared at the fireworks in surprise, shock or amusement as they flew around the ceiling leaving trailing sparks in the air, dive bombing students and teachers alike before they all blew up. They were even more surprised when chocolate started to rain down on them.
There were cries of amazement when the Muggle-raised witches and wizards saw the familiar labels of Wonka Chocolate Factory, from the movie 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', when the door slammed open to reveal a small group of six little men with orange skin, grass green hair, chocolate brown turtlenecks and white overalls as they cart wheel into the Great Hall.
The 'Oompa Loompa' song could be heard as four more Oompa Loompas walk in with a large round, yellow bowl –about a meter in diameter and forty centimeters deep- overflowing with the one candy that had the rest of the school…………what was the word? 'Speechless'? 'Resigned'?
'Hmm,' thought Harry as he studied everyone's faces as the lemon drop bowl was brought to the Headmaster. 'I think it's a mixture of both along with shock, amusement and…is that fear?'
Blinking, Harry took a harder look at McGonagall's face and saw that she did have a resigned and slightly scared look on her face. "Wonder what has her ready to dash?" hissed Harry quietly to Kai who shrugged.
Dumbledore, however, had such bright twinkling eyes many people mistook them for brightly coloured Puffskins that had the rather evil intention of blinding them. Heh, buy two sparkly Puffskins and get a bag of sherbet lemons free!
Harry covered his face with his hands when that thought popped into his head as his shoulders shook with laughter. All the other students were eating their Wonka chocolate bars as they watched the Oompa Loompas march up to Dumbledore with the sherbet lemons while the first group 'poof'ed away after they finished their dance and song number.
"This gift is for one Albus Dumbledore," said one of the Oompa Loompas in a surprisingly deep voice. "'I hope you enjoy all these, my boy.'"
In those last two words, the mocking tone was easily distinguishable the undertone of sarcasm, loathing, and disgust was barely heard.
Once the Oompa Loompas placed the bowl in front of the Headmaster; they 'poof'ed away, leaving Dumbledore staring at the bowl of sherbet lemons happily. He picked one up and was about to put it into his mouth when the ceiling of the Great Hall turned stormy and a cackling laughter could be heard.
Everyone looked around to find the source of the laughter when one Muggleborn looked up and gasped. "Look!" cried a second year Ravenclaw. "It's the Wicked Witch of the West!"
All heads looked up to see a witch dressed in all black with green skin, a long nose that had a wart on the end and a pointed hat on her head. "Eh heheheheheheheheheheh!" cackled the witch.
"So you are the great Albus Dumbledore," sneered the Wicked Witch from where she hovered in midair on her broom. Dumbledore just gave her a slightly confused glance. "Well, since you love sherbet lemons so much, why don't we see how good you look as one?"
Before anyone could pull out their wands, the Wicked Witch of the West pointed her index finger at the large bowl and a streak of red light appeared. It hit the bowl, making it glow an angry red before it disappeared.
Cackling once more, the Wicked Witch of the West circled the room before dive-bombing the Head Table and flying out of the open doors of the Great Hall. All eyes stared at the diminishing figure of the Wicked Witch of the West before their heads snapped to the opposite side of the room when they heard a yelp of pain and surprise.
Harry only took one look before he snorted in laughter and laid his head on his arm while the other banged on the table, advertising his hysteria. Other people started to laugh as well when they saw the Headmaster's new look. Albus Dumbledore was now all yellow, round and smelling like sherbet lemons with a crown on his head and a sash across his body saying 'The Sherbet Lemon King'. He was also surrounded by sherbet lemons that were as tall as 390mL bottles of Coca-Cola(2)
As it turned out, Dumbledore had popped one of the sherbet lemons into his mouth before the Witch came in, but sadly for him it had also been spiked and turned him into his new form. By now, everyone was laughing but the fun didn't stop there.
'Poof'. The sound was heard again as a scream echoed through the Hall due to the rather amazing acoustics of the room that the Founders had installed a millennium ago. The laughter drowned out the screaming of the newly turned students. THREE tenths of the school, mainly junior Death Eaters along with Granger and Weasley were now candy like the Headmaster each with a small following of little candy peoples the same size as the Headmaster's.
"Maybe I should have added the ants," gasped out Harry to his reptile companions as he tried to rein in his hysterical laughter. "It would have been nice to see them jumping."
Weasley had become an Allen's Redskin, Granger a sour Gummi Worm while the rest became various Muggle candy. There was even an Allen's Minties which had some people staring at the unfortunate soul in hunger.
The glint of hunger in their eyes making Harry laugh harder as Li Tao commented on whether they would resort to cannibalism or not. While the person in question started to sweat slightly as he tried to move away from where all the little Minties were dancing round in a circle. There were even a few calculating glances from some Ravenclaws as their brains frantically tried to come up with a plan that would allow them to get some candy that they hadn't eaten all year, without their fellow students seeing them lose their dignity.
Sadly, that all flew out of the window when some of the little candy followers were taken and the remaining animated treats promptly attacked the perpetrator…………by throwing more candy at him.
Still laughing his head off, Harry watched out of the corner of his eye as Dumbledore sneaked; stormed subtly more likely, out the annex door and away from the public eye. 'Revenge is a dish best served piping hot,' thought Harry as he wiped away his tears of laughter. 'Despite what other people say about serving it cold.'
Noticing one of the little Allen's Strawberry and Cream running his way, Harry quickly swiped the little thing without the others noticing and bit into it which got rid of the animation spell placed on it. "Yum," said Harry with a grin as he chewed on it while watching the Great Hall descend into a frenzy as they all tried to get the candy and eat it before their fellow students.
He then caught Draco's eye and, with a smirk, raised his goblet to toast him before taking a sip of the Morning cocktail he had made from the pumpkin juice.
He snickered when Draco raised an eyebrow before he went back to his breakfast. "I love chaos," murmured Harry with a small quirk of his lips before downing the rest of the cocktail. "It lends a bit more excitement to life."
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To be continued………
Done! I swear, sometimes I hate being the oldest. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed this chapter despite it being so late and I want to give a big thank you for my Beta, Nightshadow3 or Shadow, for editing my work. Even though they were the only one to answer the little ad I had on my profile. -.-
(1) half a meter- fifty centimeters- a foot and four inches in Imperial measurements (I think)
(2) 390mL- 15.6 fl oz (I think, don't kill me if it's wrong)
Oh, before I forget, the recipe for the cocktail I mentioned is down there so take a peek if you're a little curious to what's in it, though I do warn you; I have no idea where to buy all this stuff. It's just in a little cocktail book I bought. Oh, and a 'bar measure' is 25mL (i.e 1 fl oz in Imperial measurements).
Morning cocktail (serves 1)-
4-5 ice cubes
3 dashes of Angostura bitters
5 dashes Pernod
½ teaspoon of grenadine
½ teaspoon of dry vermouth
1 measure Curacao (there is an accent on the second 'c')
3 measures brandy
Cocktail cherries to decorate
Put the ice cubes into the cocktail shaker. Shake the bitters over the ice, and add the Pernod. Pour in the grenadine, vermouth, Curacao and brandy, shake well then strain into a chilled cocktail glass and decorate with cocktail cherries on a stick.