A Different World
Chapter 8
Randy looked at John with puppy dog eyes.
"Aw, that's cute and all, John but really. I don't know..." Randy said, suddenly interested in the ground.
John looked mortified. "Your...your kidding right?"
"Of course not. Why would I?" Randy said, with a quizzical look.
"I'll kill you. I'll throw this WWE Championship out of a car window, then you'll never have the title, bitch." John said, menacingly.
"I really was kidding. I would never do that to you, Banana Head." Randy said.
"That...no. Never call me that again, please." John said, with deeply amused eyes.
"Go get ready, shit for brains. We're going on our first date." Randy said and turned and walked away.
"Oh no you don't. First...date? What are we doing?" John said, his eyes wide with horror.
"Shopping, of course. Bring the WWE Championship, it makes you look sexy." Randy said, with a huge grin.
"But...people will notice me!" John whined.
"Yes, I'm sure you go unnoticed without it, too." Randy said and walked up the steps, leaving John there. John sulked up the steps and went into his room. He pulled out a fresh pair of boxers and a wife beater and then walked into the bathroom.
"No! I need to shower." Randy said, barging into the room, wearing only tighty whiteys.
"There are other bathrooms, you know." John said and turned the water on.
"Fine. We'll shower together." Randy said.
John stiffened up. He gathered his clothes and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Orton there with a quizzical look.
He's new to this gay thing. Randy thought and stripped naked.
Meanwhile, John walked into the bathroom on the third floor, muttering to himself. It was weird now. He's always been attracted to Orton, but now, they go out and John feels completely different. He turned the water on and stripped naked. He got in the shower and moaned at the warm water as it hit his sweaty body.
It seems as if he has total control over me. John thought, as he lathered up his body, lingering on his nether regions. He remembered that shaking it more then twice was playing with yourself, and quickly stopped. He washed off the soap and then quickly washed his hair and turned off the water. He dried himself off quickly, very anxious for his date. He ran down to his bedroom. He ran past the other bathroom, and Orton tripped him. Orton roared with laughter and sat down on the toilet and started to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
"Who reads that shit?" John said, getting to his feet, now without a smile.
"Who doesn't? Like Voldemort..."
"WHO?"
"Oh, your hopeless. Go..get dressed." Orton said.
"You do the same and stop reading that Harry Plotter shit."
"It's POTTER, John. Potter."
John walked away muttered to himself. Randy thought he heard words such as "wizards" and "Plotter". Randy shook his head and then walked into his bedroom. He pulled on his shirt and put on deodorant. He sprayed some Contradiction cologne on himself and then pulled on khaki shorts. He picked up his shoes, then put them down and slid his sandals on.
John was still muttering as he pulled on an American Eagle tee shirt. He put some Axe deodorant on and then he sprayed some Aqua di Gio cologne on. He pulled on khaki shorts too and slid sandals on. He went to walk out of the room, but he turned around. He slid open a drawer and pulled out his coveted WWE Championship.
"Shoulder or waist, Ran?" John called over to him.
"Waist!" Randy called back.
"Okay then, your gonna need to help me get this on." John called.
John heard Randy shut his bedroom door. He only shut it when he was leaving, so John assumed he was ready. Randy walked into his room and John gasped. He's never seen Randy look so cute. John forced a smile, but was at a loss for words. Randy went behind him and grabbed the WWE Championship. He spun the spinner and then brought it around John's body and clipped it on.
"You smell good, baby." Randy said. Randy turned John around and pressed his lips to his. John moaned and broke the kiss.
"Sorry. I want to go, now." John said, flushing with color.
"Don't you dare complain when you don't get any for a long time. Besides, I'm not ready for sex yet. Are you?" Randy said, suddenly very serious.
"No, I don't think so." John said.
"Okay. Let's go." Randy said and they walked downstairs. John's belt was spinning. Randy opened the door and walked to his Jeep. John clambered in the passenger's seat and sat there, his belt digging into him. Randy turned on his XM radio for his favorite thing. Music.
"But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside. That is not how you want it to be"
It was Elliot Yamin's "Wait for You".John was less then pleased to hear it. He leaned back against the chair. It seemed like an hour, but it was really 15 minutes, before Randy stopped the car. By this time, Randy was jamming to his favorite song.
"SINCE YOU BEEN GONE! I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME! I'M SO MOVING ON!"
"I NEVER knew you liked Kelly Clarkson. You always played 50 Cent and Eminem in the house." John said, amused.
"I had to keep some manliness. I'm sure if I jammed to Kelly Clarkson you'd think I was a fruitcake." Randy said, embarrassed.
"Oh, I've had my doubts. Not to mention some fantasies." Cena said and he got out of the car.
"Ohh. Tell me about these...fantasies." Randy said, intrested.
"Can't. Not suitable for ears around here. Besides, do you want our fans to know...we go out?" John said, the last part in a whisper.
"You act like people haven't imagined me and you together and wrote their little stories about how we have jackrabbit sex. I do read, you know." Randy said.
"I didn't know you read about...us...having jackrabbit or whatever animal sex. I prefer to fuck like human beings, don't you?"
Randy smiled and they walked into American Eagle. "I'll find out soon enough, John. Soon enough."
John had a fleeting vision of Michael Myers saying, "I'll get you soon enough." He shook the image out of his head, with a laugh.
"I'd really rather be like Wal Mart. We need groceries, not clothes." John said.
"Okay. Let's go to Wal Mart then." Randy said, disappointed. They walked out of American Eagle and got back in Randy's Jeep. They drove a little up the road and then pulled into the Wal Mart parking lot. They got out of the car. John was extremely excited.
"Oh my God. They got these little rides, where you put a quarter in and they rock back and forth!" John said.
"Yes. I'm sure your two hundred and thirty pound self will be a great addition to those little kid machines. No...John...NO!" Randy had to pull John away, who had a quarter brandished and was intent on getting on a machine, in the shape of a toucan.
"BUT! Randy, it's a toucan!"
"You can find...another...at home...on the Fruit Loops box!" Randy said, finally pulling John away. John looked mad then suddenly remembered something.
He pulled out his Sidekick and signed onto AIM.
chaingang soldier: ash, u'll never believe it
massaro x: try me, just don't mention spider pig. ii really can't stand that pig.
chaingang soldier : LMFAO! he's so cute! but uh...me and randy go out.
massaro x: did u take ur medicine? U told me he punched u in the face last night!! nd now yous...date?
chaingang soldier: idk. We're in walmart. Ill fill u in later.
John signed off and smiled when he looked at Randy. He was looking at sodas. "John, do you like...vanilla creme or black raspberry?"
"I'm pretty fond of your vanilla creme."
Randy dropped the cases of soda, with a howl. He picked up a fresh case of Vanilla Creme and put it in the bottom of the cart. Randy pushed it along and went up the first isle. John had to hold in laughter as Randy picked up maxi pads.
"Do we need these?" Randy asked, curiously.
"Hahahahahahaahah! No. Those are for girls." John said.
Randy hastily put them down. They went up a different isle. This one was all for pads and Depends and diapers. They walked up the 2nd isle. Cena looked over the isles, multiple times.
"Are you waiting for someone?!" Randy asked, impatient.
"That kid is riding toucan!" John said.
"Oh. My...let's go!" Randy said as they went up the 2nd isle. It was the deodorant and other toiletry isle. Randy started looking at Axe and Red Zone deodorant, while John ran up and down the isle, smelling various body washes and deodorant.
"Oh, would you...stop!" Randy said and grabbed John around the collar. "Act your age!" Randy hissed and shoved him away. He put some Axe and Red Zone, unable to decide which one he liked better, and walked to isle 3.
It was the breakfast isle. John picked up Fruit Loops, three boxes, and put them in the cart.
"We have two at the house, unopened, John."
"Okay? What's your point?" John asked, sourly.
"That would mean five boxes of Fruit Loops. The Big Show couldn't eat that much." Randy said.
"Just cause he can't don't mean I can't." John said.
"Oh my god!!! Stop being a little baby! Your really annoying me! This was supposed to be fun seeing as it's a first date! Let's go. We're leaving." Randy said, letting go of his cart and storming out of the store, John following closely behind.
Once John was in the car, Randy exploded. "How dare you? I try and take you out and you go bonkers over a fucking little kid...oh what do you call them?"
"Rides?" John said, timidly.
"RIDES! You acted like it was a fucking dildo! You couldn't wait to ride it!" Randy said. "It's fucking embarrassing. How are you gonna like this? No sex. For a whole MONTH."
Oh fuck. That toucan wasn't THAT important.