That noise of tires on pavement, the thrumming of the engine, and the sounds of wind rushing by; these were a familiar sounds to John. In a strange sort of way, he perceived the shimmering asphalt and concrete as his true home, the only place he really belonged. This is where the Connors truly lived, constantly on the run, constantly driving away from anything they ever loved. Never stay in one place, never become too attached and above all, never feel safe. These were axioms that defined his existence in a way that had to be similar to the programmed directives of the relentless machines.
He glanced over at Cameron, sitting next to him in the back seat of the stolen Mercedes, her face a blank stare devoid of emotion. Yet despite that cold, business-like expression, John knew she felt far more than she let on. It was different for her, he couldn't say she was human, that she clearly was not, but she was something that could feel, that could love, that could hate.
His own feelings on the matter had been conflicted and confused, yet now he was beginning to understand. He liked Cameron for who she was, not for the equivalent human she emulated. The distinction was important to John, especially after seeing the emulated behavior of Vick through that machine's own eyes. He had been simulating human behavior, copying human mannerisms, speech patterns and gestures. Though Cameron did that when necessary to blend in, around him she did not pretend to be anything else but a cyborg. It was simply that her machine-self had feelings; had emotions of her own. They were different than human emotions, they had an odd manner about them, but John understood them to be genuine. "Uncle Bob" had a similar, stilted manner about him as he had attempted to sort through his own sense of feeling, and he had understood it in the end.
"I know now why you cry... but it is something I could never do."
The memory of the damaged terminator descending into the molten metal, sacrificing himself in his own attempt to halt Judgment day, confirmed to John that there was more to the terminators than programmed directives. That had never been Uncle Bob's programmed mission, yet he had done it anyway, overcoming the barriers of calculation to truly feel for those around him. Still, as his protector had told him without saying it, humanemotions were different. He understood sadness and felt a version of it himself, but knew that the gesture of crying would be a false one. He had his own way of expressing the emotion.
"I have to go now..."
Careful to avoid his mother's gaze, his hand reached for Cameron's and held it for a moment. The cyborg's expression didn't change, her blank, cold stare continued unabated, but she squeezed his hand gently in reply. Letting go, John leaned forward, watching the silent pair in front of him.
"So can I ask now? Where are we heading?" John asked simply.
"The Mojave desert, north of Victorville. I have a hunch about this Sarkissian..." Sarah's voice was a dead-pan monotone, almost machine-like.
"Why that location?" Cameron inquired.
"There are military bases up there, one that I'm interested in." Sarah continued.
"Ah. I know of two such installations. The first is Edwards Air Force Base, a major defense installation and a former base of operations for the nuclear arm of Strategic Air Command prior to 1991. The second is China Lake Naval Weapons Center, experimental test facility for the development of advanced airborne weapons. Which of these do you 'have a hunch' about?" Cameron rattled off mechanically. She had significantly more data available, but thought better of continuing. Humans had a very low tolerance for processing large amounts of data.
"Well that's the thing. Sarkissian is an Armenian name, and though it isn't much to go on, there is a large Armenian community in the desert city south of China Lake. Sarkissian may be trying to do something with the Turk there." Sarah added, her anger growing.
"A logical deduction. One of China Lake's primary functions is the development of computer systems to control the missile batteries of large surface warships. That is a similar function to Skynet's original purpose of controlling ballistic missile arsenals." Cameron responded quickly.
Sarah seemed about to reply, but Cameron interrupted her, leaning forward, her head almost up against Sarah's seat. Her voice turned heavy and dark, her expression foreboding. "If you are right, China Lake will be defended by more than just humans. This is a great risk you are taking, Cromartie might make a similar deduction."
"Don't talk to me about risks." Sarah replied angrily as she sped up.
"My concern is for John's protection." Cameron began, analyzing the speed of the vehicle. 95 miles per hour, 20 units over the legal limit. The speed was reasonably safe for the vehicle, but could draw attention from local authorities. Cameron briefly entertained the notion of commandeering the front seat of the car from Sarah, deciding after a moment to postpone the decision to a speed greater than 100 units.
"Yeah, and what do you think Sarah's concern is for, tin can? He's her fucking son." Derek interrupted.
"It's okay Cam, if mom is right, we've got to take that chance." John gripped her hand, pulling her gently backward into her seat. Cameron allowed herself to fall backward, her expression softening with his touch. Silence fell over them again, leaving only the road noise, as the Mercedes sped down the dusty two lane highway designated US 395.
Sarah slowed the vehicle, turning into a gas station at the dusty town of Four Corners. Dirty, dry places like this were all too familiar to her, and she felt a twinge of guilt at subjecting John to this life. Far worse awaited him in the future though, and Sarah wished only that she could spare him that fate. She didn't realistically expect to stop Skynet's creation; if the destruction of Cyberdyne hadn't accomplished that task, there was little hope that it could be stopped now. Yet she had to try, she couldn't live with herself if she simply stood idly by; she would fight until her last breath. Kyle had taught her that much.
She watched John walk into the store with Cameron, the inevitability of their relationship hitting her full force. Her son always had a different view of the machines, and such could not be helped. Sarah would never forget that a machine had taken Kyle from her, that she had only one night to hold on to in her memory. Jealousy clouded her vision of the cyborgs, though she understood it to be such. That future-version of her son sent himself this machine to do the job that should have been hers, and hers alone. Yet perhaps John needed to fall for the machine, perhaps it was precisely his deeper understanding of them that enabled him to ultimately defeat Skynet where she, in all likelihood, would fail.
Topping off the tank she turned to face Derek, watching the bitter man stare off into the horizon. His face was a mask of pain as he gazed across the dusty plains to the mountain ranges beyond, his eyes lingering on the crimson sunset.
"I know this place." He began, bitterness creeping into his voice. "It was crawling with metal. We lost a lot of good men out here..."
"I can only imagine what it must have been like..." Sarah answered sympathetically.
"No, I think you have it worse. That was all we knew, we were used to it. Eventually you just write yourself off as walking dead, and it doesn't matter anymore. We forgot all of this... you have to live in both worlds." Derek replied wistfully.
"I'd never have expected that from you."
"You think just because I'm not dreaming fool my brother was, that I'm some simpleton?" Derek tried to be angry, but the tirade ended in a resigned sigh.
"No, you're not Kyle," she agreed, "but John sent you back, so you can't be a fool."
"Yeah. John's not all-knowing any more than we, though. Not even then." Derek answered as Sarah watched her son and the machine exit the store carrying several bags of supplies. Even to the untrained eye, it would have appeared that they were together, despite the lack of contact. It was in the way they walked close to each other, just slightly too close to each other to be completely casual. Just the way John's face was smiling, and even the way the machine's icy expression seemed to thaw around him, spoke far louder than words.
"I know. But I trust him, I trust his judgment, I have to. Someday he'll win, even if we fail, so I suppose we should trust that he knows what he's doing." Sarah's eyes lingered on Cameron, a hint not lost on Derek. The scarred resistance fighter frowned knowingly, but prudently said nothing.
"There is no fate but what we make for ourselves..." Sarah whispered beneath her breath, her eyes lingering on the dusty road ahead, lit by the fading sunlight. Her memories of Kyle came to the surface again, as they often did in times like these. A bittersweet smile crossed her features.