Tears began sliding down her cheeks when she suddenly realized that if they continued to save the souls from the veil, in the way in which they were doing at the moment, they would lose Sirius, perhaps lose them all. But, it was too late to stop and she knew she had no choice other than to continue. Sirius seemed to know that as well, and he solemnly nodded his head to her while pulling her hand away from his shoulder, keeping his eyes locked on hers as his body faded further and further into the fogginess that matched those around him.
"NO!" Remus and Harry shouted together, both grabbing Sirius and trying desperately to ground him before he became lost to them once more-this time forever.
In all of the confusion--the screams from startled mortals, the buzzing from the lost souls that were half there and half not, and Harry and Remus trying to hold on to Sirius--no one noticed the hands that suddenly materialized from behind her until it was too late, until Hermione screamed in surprise and panic only seconds before her tired body was pushed forward and engulfed by the veil itself. They all stopped to watch, stunned, as the lost souls screeched with ungodly sounds and Hermione floated away from them like a leaf on a gentle breeze.
The second her chanting stopped, Sirius returned to his physical body with a giant shake and it was obvious he was trying desperately to take air into his shocked lungs. Remus only registered that fact for a fraction of a second before he watched Hermione fly into the veil. The souls still floating around them screamed in such a way that everyone in the room clutched their head and felt as if their brain would explode inside their very skulls. Remus, however, only watched as the woman he suddenly realized he loved began to leave him forever. Without conscious thought, he immediately ran after her; somewhere in the back of his mind reminding himself that he once kept Harry from doing the very thing he was going to do himself.
The second his body touched the shadowy air, he felt as though his own soul was ripped from him and breathing became the most difficult task he had ever attempted. The pain was incredible, but he felt the wolf push through his senses and dull the sensations.
"Hermione!" he croaked, before swallowing dryly and trying again. "Hermione, can you hear me?"
"Remus," she whispered, so softly he would have questioned the voice had it not been for the wolf's hearing.
Suddenly, however, he felt a vise-like grip around his ankles and his body began to move of it's on accord. "NO!" screamed the wolf as he realized someone was pulling him away from his mate. "Hermione!"
"Moony!" he heard her reply and realized she was close to him. Remus' arms flew out and, even though he couldn't see anything in the darkness, he felt the fabric of her shirt against his cold fingers and jerked her to him just in time to feel the grip around his ankles tighten and his own body jerk backwards.
They fell in a tangle of arms and legs onto the hard floor, all gasping for breath and shaking uncontrollably as Sirius and Harry moved out from under them, Harry went to speak to Kingsley, while Sirius remained where he was; his own memories being relived had taken their toll on the shaken man. Remus sat up, his arms helping Hermione to sit with him when he noticed her eyes roll back in her head and her body go limp.
"Hermione!" he yelled weakly. "Hermione, wake up!" He cradled her limp form to him and rocked her gently back and forth, fear such as he'd never known coursing through his body and he knew the wolf felt the same.
Suddenly the air around them shifted and everything went still. In the back of his mind, Remus heard surprised exclamations from those around him, but it wasn't until Sirius' sharp intake of breath that he actually looked up--and almost fainted himself.
"Very impressive witch you have there, Moony," a familiar voice said.
"Bloody hell, it worked! It actually worked!" Sirius screamed, jumping up and throwing his arms around his best friend. James Potter, however, did not look as happy.
"Yes, it worked, but not in the way you're thinking, Pads." He untangled himself from Sirius and they both crouched on the ground with Remus, who held on tightly to Hermione.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked desperately.
"What she has done is nothing short of incredible and it almost worked the way my intelligent Moony thought it would, but she was forced to stop too soon. Therefore, we can't come back as earthly beings."
Sirius yelled in protest, but James' familiar, and extremely missed smile stopped him short. "But you're here now," Sirius whined, making both Remus and James grin at him.
"But only for a moment. She has given us a true gift, Moony, and you should both be proud. We're no longer stuck in purgatory as murdered souls, or lost in the veil…we're free. We finally get to move on as we should have all those years ago. Look around boys, we also get the gift of saying our last farewells."
The two men looked around and were shocked by what they saw. Unspeakables of old were speaking to the new, Aurors were talking to other Aurors, and Lily was talking to her son, tears streaming down his face as his mother held him for the first time that he could remember.
"My son is incredible, is he not? And now I'll get to watch him grow as a man, watch as he gets married and has children of his own." He turned back to Remus, gently stroking Hermione's hair from her forehead as she slowly began to stir. "You gave me that gift, Moony, and I can never thank you enough. Take care of your witch, she's the only one deserving of you. You both are the brothers I never had and I will love you even more in death than I did in life."
Tears were pouring down their faces and no one made a move to wipe them away. It no longer mattered that Sirius had survived and the others wouldn't, only that they were given this amazing gift of goodbye. Lily and Harry walked over to join them, father and son staring at each other for seconds before embracing and starting a new wave of happy tears.
"We must go now. Take care of my son, you two," Lily said sweetly.
Remus growled suddenly and they all looked at him shocked, except for James. "It's okay, Moony. I know about Severus and I forgave her a long time ago."
Remus stared wide-eyed as the startling realizations entered his mind and he finally understood why the wolf hated her so much. "Seventh year…you and Severus? During the holidays? And after?" he stammered in disbelief, listening to the wolf try to explain himself. Why had he not thought to ask before now?
She cast her eyes downward and shook her head. "Until I realized I was pregnant with Harry. Then I told James everything and he forgave me. I suppose you smelled him on me."
"Yea," Remus mumbled, "I guess so."
"Love requires forgiveness, Moony, and compromise. I loved Lily from the moment I laid eyes on her and I'll love her through eternity. Just as I love my son and the two of you. I only hope you all find that as well."
With those last words, Lily and James began to fade into the misty figures they were before and float to the ceiling. A blazing light engulfed them and they disappeared with more words of love and hope. Instead of anger or despair, the men left behind felt nothing but peace and love, and the satisfaction of having at least those last few moments with the ones they cared so deeply about.
Remus stood with Hermione, slowly walking with Sirius to the stairs when the commotion to their left gained their attention.
"The souls attacked her and knocked her out!"
"I've never heard of such a thing!"
"She pushed the Granger girl into the veil on purpose!"
"I can't believe the girl did it, she brought them all out!"
"The wolf won't be happy," another muttered.
There, laying in an unconscious heap on the floor was Tonks, Harry's invisibility cloak under her body and a terrified look frozen on her face.
Remus sat in the chair beside her bed, his head lay on his forearm and his hand encasing hers so completely that if she so much as twitched, he would feel it. Worry and guilt warred for dominance over his features, but a newfound love shown most brightly from his heart.
"Aren't you in the wrong room?" Harry asked coldly, the underlying meaning of his words more than evident to the man he felt had betrayed him and whose actions almost resulted in the death of his best friend.
He looked up at the young man who was so much like his father, yet tainted by war and murders that no one should have had to witness. Before he could respond, the others walked in behind him, matching looks of accusation firmly in place as they glanced at Hermione and then glared back at him.
"I was, uh, just leaving," he said softly as he stood from his chair and released her hand.
Slowly, he made his way down the hall to Tonks' room. Hermione deserved so much more than he could ever hope to offer her and he knew, no matter what it cost him, he would do as originally intended and leave. As a werewolf, he could have the marriage easily annulled within hours and spare Tonks the trouble and embarrassment. 'Again, blame the wolf,' he thought, and was rather surprised to realize that it was indeed his own thought.
What marriage? He asked himself gloomily as he leaned against the doorframe and watched his sleeping wife. A marriage based on lies and deception was not a marriage at all. He had once thought that providing her with children would solve their problems, and he knew she believed that still, but he could no longer love a woman who had tried to kill another and in one of the cruelest ways possible.
Hermione would be fine, he told himself again. The healer had reassured him of that only moments before Harry had come in. She had her friends and family to help take care of her and he knew that Sirius would keep her safe. And, when the wolf reminded him that they would die without their mate, he thought bitterly that perhaps she might feel inclined to attend his funeral and say farewell.
"Remus? You stayed." Tonks' weak voice pulled him back from his thoughts and he slowly walked over to her; noting the silence from the wolf, but feeling the anger and uneasiness nonetheless.
"I'm here," he said stiffly, then asked the question that had been plaguing him all along. "Why, Tonks? How could you?"
Silent tears slid down her cheeks as her hands bunched in the crisp, white sheets. She couldn't even pretend to misunderstand his question. "I honestly don't know. You know I would never intentionally hurt someone, but…" she trailed off.
"Yea, I know," he said honestly, "but why were you there in the first place?"
"When I told Kingsley what I had found, he didn't take my interfering too nicely and forbid me to join you, so I had to think of another way. I wanted to see if it could be done, so, I borrowed Harry's cloak and followed you."
"You were in the room when we spoke to Kings and the other Aurors, weren't you? That's why the wolf kept smelling you," he added absentmindedly and she nodded with confusion.
"So, it's for real then?" she asked with a sharp bite in her voice.
He sighed with exasperation. "I have never lied to you, Tonks, and this is not something I would make up."
Her eyes narrowed slightly at the reversion back to her name, but, before she could comment, they were interrupted.
"Remus," Sirius said quietly from the doorway, "she's asking for you." At Remus' hesitant look, he added, "Harry and the others left shortly after you. The Healers say both Tonks and Hermione can leave now."
Remus nodded his head slowly, then looked between Tonks and Sirius. "I have a duty to Tonks," he said, raising his hand to stop Sirius' irritated rebuttal. "No matter how horrid her actions, she is still my wife."
"Have it your way," he said angrily, glaring at Tonks before storming back down the hallway.
"Thank you," Tonks muttered. "They're all going to hate me now, aren't they?"
"Yes and don't thank me," he replied through gritted teeth. "When we get home, you are not to go near her, do you understand? Don't talk to her, don't even look at her. I don't care if you're in the middle of eating a meal, when she enters the room, you are to get up and leave without a word."
He glared down at her as she slowly stood up, steeling himself against the emotions playing on her face. The woman that used to be his strong, caring wife, had become someone he no longer recognized. Of course, it wasn't as though he was the same man either.
Hermione still felt the cold and lonely ache within her body. The Healers had rechecked her just yesterday and were under the assumption that, due to her incredible magical weakness, the veil had a much larger impact on her than it did Remus. Sirius had gently apparated her home and tended to her in the three days since. He also seemed to understand her completely and, when curling up into a ball and weeping miserably for hours on end was all she wanted to do, he held her tightly against him and sheltered her from the world. The world, it would appear, also included Remus, as she hadn't seen him since they returned. Sometimes, when she felt the loneliness most acutely, she would smile sadly to herself and think that perhaps Remus thought Tonks was in the right by trying to send her into the veil.
Sirius had tried explaining her reclusive behavior to the others, but no one seemed to understand enough to leave her alone. How could they understand? She had dangled Lily and James in front of them only to have her plan fail when she went into the veil and they escaped purgatory as souls, not humans. Not to mention that the Lily and Snape revelation had almost killed Harry.
They had blamed her, even if not to her face, and they blamed Tonks, but most of all, they lay the blame at Remus' feet and, from what Sirius had told her, he accepted it without at word. Thinking about it made her angry, so she tried not to, but to no avail. He had started to feel loved and accepted for the first time since his younger days at Hogwarts, but ever since their first kiss in the kitchen a mere week and a half ago, his life as he knew it began to change--rapidly.
She couldn't understand how her 'family' could judge without first becoming intelligent of the situation. No one knew of her connection to him and she had hid the faint ring around her finger well, but they all suspected a cheap affair between them. She also couldn't tell them anything related to the situation, because every time she spoke, she was interrupted by someone asking her about her own welfare. The entire thing was ludicrous!
Her bitter thoughts seemed to bring about another wave of nausea and she tried breathing deeply in hopes that it would abate somewhat before she joined the party downstairs. The Healers had informed her that, although strange that she had this effect while Sirius and Remus did not, the side effects of the veil just weren't known to completion yet and she should wait it out.
There was a soft knock on her door, followed by someone calling, "Hermione?" Sirius opened the door slowly and peered inside. Seeing that she was dressed and ready, he walked over to her and gently grabbed her shoulders. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
"No, but I have to face him…them sometime. Might as well do it with a house full of partying Weasleys. I just wish," she started, then paused to regroup. "I just wish he would talk to me, tell me he never wants to see me again, and then let me get on with my life. I hate not knowing things and this is no different."
"I know," he said softly as he pulled her into his arms. "He refuses to talk to me about it as well. I think, maybe, he's finally gotten control of the wolf and is resorting back to the way things were. Being away from you has helped that, I'm sure. I just don't know."
"Will you keep the Firewhiskey nearby?" she asked when he finally pulled away from her.
He grinned and nodded knowingly. Later, he could tell her how he had learned in the last week that getting pissed wasn't the answer. James made him realize three days ago, that happiness includes compromise and, if he could forgive Lily for screwing the greasy git, then surely Sirius could stop drinking himself back into an early grave.
Hermione, however, wanted to stay in a permanent state of numbness and was sure that seeing Remus wouldn't help her cause. However, she gathered her courage and took Sirius' proffered arm as they walked through her door and down the steps. Shouts immediately rang out for the guest of honor, who grinned and joined the festivities. Funny, Hermione could swear his smile was forced and his charm practiced.
It wasn't an hour later that he joined her on the couch, on the outskirts of the partying, but sober, crowd. She grinned at him and patted his shoulder knowingly.
"How long you figure before the guest of honor can leave without being rude?"
She chuckled, but before she could reply, someone began tapping their glass and she looked up to see Tonks trying to get everyone's attention. Hermione thought it fairly humorous that only Tonks' parents seemed happy to see her today, yet everyone spoke to her as they usually did and not as the murderess she almost became.
"Since everyone is here that matters," she announced nervously as she smiled at her husband, "I have a surprise. Remus and I are going to have a baby!"
The room erupted in cheers and the past almost two weeks were completely forgotten as Molly and Andromeda rushed over to hug her. Fleur, Ginny, and Daphne started bombarding her with question after question about the baby's name and their plans for its' future. Ted clapped Remus on the shoulder before walking over to the gaggle of women laughing and crying in the middle of the room and hugging his daughter. Remus, however, looked as though someone influential had just told him that Earth really was flat and Wizards were just a myth.
"So, a baby, eh?" Harry asked Remus, excitement shining in the young man's eyes.
Remus looked across the room, his gaze landing on Hermione for the millionth time that night. He had tried to ignore her, tried to distance himself so that when he left tomorrow it would be much easier, but seeing her tonight made him realize he would never forget her, not even a minute amount. Now with this impossible pregnancy, he didn't know what he should do. The wolf had been strangely quiet for some time now and he thought it might be possible that without his interference, Tonks could be pregnant. He just really didn't know enough about it to understand yet, and she had sprung this on him in the middle of everyone. He watched Hermione, who stood still, talking to Sirius and shaking her head in confusion, but, when his eyes locked with hers, he could see she was quickly becoming angry. What gave her the right to be angry with him?
"A toast," called Ted, "to my grandchild!"
The room erupted in cheers, but when Remus looked again to Hermione and saw the despair in her eyes, his world began to collapse around him. The wolf was back and he was angry!
"Looks like the new father-to-be is shell shocked!" Came another shout and all eyes turned to Remus.
Turning his attention back to Tonks, he saw her walking slowly his way.
'SHE LIES!' the wolf suddenly roared inside of him. Anger such as he'd never known surged through his body, integrated into his veins, and began to mould into his very being. Remus tried desperately to still his emotions, but to no avail. The anger burning inside of him hurt physically and he watched in horror as his fingernails seemed to grow into claws and he could feel hair erupting through the skin of his arms. The wolf was breaking free and Remus fell to his knees, clutching his head in his hands as he prayed his skull wasn't actually splitting in two and trying to ignor the concerned cries around him.
'She lies!' came the roar again.
'Shut up!' he screamed, hopefully inside his own head as he then pleaded, 'Just stop!'
The wolf slowly began to take control and Remus grabbed his chest in agony, desperately trying to keep the beast at bay and suddenly fearing an impossible transformation that wasn't related to the moon.
"Remus! What is wrong with you?" he heard Tonks shout and could swear she was walking towards him though he wasn't at all sure.
'She will pay for this treachery!' the wolf snarled as he glared at Tonks. 'Pay for her lies and pay for hurting our mate!'
'What in the bloody hell are you talking about? Please, just stop!'
'I will kill her for this!'
"NO!" Remus shouted, falling further onto the floor and scaring everyone in the room as they continued to stare at him in shock. "I won't let you touch her!"
Then a new voice flew from his mouth, raspy and full of venom that was directed solely at Tonks. "You will pay for your treachery, bitch!"
"Oh, shit!" Sirius exclaimed as the hair on Remus' chest stood out and his canines began to elongate. "Everyone get out! Get out now!" Both he and Hermione had been just as shocked by the display as the others, but now both came back to reality and realized the extreme severity of the situation.
There was mass confusion and murmurs of concern while everyone shuffled out of the door--giving the crazed man on the floor a very wide berth.
Remus continued to struggle with the wolf who was slowly taking over. Even as he watched Tonks look at him with eyes full of hatred, he knew he couldn't let the wolf out.
And then, he felt her. Her gentle hands cupped his head, drawing him into the circle of her embrace and calming the wolf in ways he could never do alone. He clung to her, silently begging her to never let him go as he felt his canines recede a fraction and the misplaced hair on his body disappear.
The others all stopped and watched fearfully when Hermione, instead of walking to the door with them, walked over to Remus. Their own fear was forgotten and turned to curiosity when they saw her fall to the floor beside him and then saw the way in which he responded to her. Tonks looked furious, but Sirius' hands wrapped roughly around her arm held her back and she seethed in both fear and anger.
"Shh, it's okay," Hermione murmured softly, holding him to her as she would a child in need of comfort. Stroking his hair gently and rocking him back and forth, she ignored those around her and concentrated fully on him--the man she had fallen in love with so long ago and the wolf who easily claimed her heart. "I know she's not having your child, Moony, it doesn't matter to me what she says. You must calm down."
And he did. The wolf receded back inside of him, his breathing returned to normal, along with his features, and a collective sigh of relief spread throughout the room.
Remus looked up into her calm face, his blue eyes so full of shame and turmoil that her heart broke for him. "It's okay," she whispered, cupping his face in her hands before repeating, "It's okay."
His body sagged against hers in exhaustion, but in that moment he knew…he knew.