I'm updating once again. I was planning on updating yesterday but for the first time in five years it SNOWED in Georgia! So I was enjoying it, unfortunately it didn't get me out of school. Okay this chapter is Paul's funeral and how Ponyboy deals with it. Read and Please Review.

Funeral-

Williams had in fact been right; I had come back a hero. Everyone was congratulating me and every girl seemed to want to go out with me but I never deserved to be congratulated and I really didn't want to go out with anyone. As Steve put it 'I was in a slump'.

I had gotten out of the hospital in mid-April. It was now late May. My wrist had healed but my knee never got better. Doctors said that I would have to use crutches or some other supportive device to get around. Darry and Soda can't ease up; they are as protective as ever.

I was sitting on the hood of our 1966 Chevy surveying the scene around me. I missed home, not necessarily Oklahoma but America. The laid back feel was what I really missed the much; you can just lay around for hours.

The DX was busier than it used to be. Soda and Steve were moving around tiring to get everything done. It was amusing to watch, in fact I was so focused on the scene in front of me that I never noticed the girl coming close to me. Sara. Her long blonde hair was blowing in the wind; her blue eyes were sparkling in the sun. She looked better than I remembered.

"Your back! We were all real worried about you, I mean you went off to war and then news about you just stopped. But look at you! Alive and healthy."

"I wouldn't really say healthy" I said as I showed her the crutches. "So, what do you want Sara?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to say hi. I mean you have been gone for so long and I thought you might want to get a coke or something." She sounded sincere but I knew Sara she wanted to date the town hero.

"No thanks. I think I'll just head home." She looked shocked that she had gotten turned down but I really couldn't care less. Sara glared at me for a minute before storming off.

"Come on Pone, she was a looker. She would have been fun to date." Steve said as he walked towards me.

"Maybe."

"Kid look just find a girl friend and things will start looking up. Hey it works for me." Steve said as he walked back to work.

"Yeah." I said to no one as I grabbed the crutches and stated to walk back home. It was a long walk but that was what I needed to do, walk. I passed by the people and the cars and made my way back home.

The town looked different. The innocence that used to reside here seemed to have disappeared. The fun of seeing a movie or hanging with the gang was gone. The main question that I always seemed to ponder was 'what if I had died there?' I wished I had, living knowing that we had left a buddy behind was unbearable, the fact that I was being revered for things I didn't deserve was repulsing and even though I was 20 I was still being treated as though I was still a small child made me wish that I had never returned.

Before I realized I was home. The thought was sickening, home. Why was I home? I was home but I still would never truly be home. I walked towards the mailbox and found a letter addressed to me. I slowly opened it and sat down on the front steps and slowly read the letter.

Dear Mr. Curtis,

You may remember me from the hospital, Mrs. Pamela Walker. My husband was in the military and never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that my son would be in the military also. You see when I nearly lost my husband in the war vowed never to let any of my children join but here I am planning the funeral of my only son. Excuse me for my bluntness.

I do not blame you for his death, nor do I blame Sergeant Williams, or the military. On the contrary I blame myself. I blame myself for not knowing he was in trouble. I blame myself for him going in the first place, even though it was a draft. Lastly I blame myself for being a gold star mother.

The service will be on June 7th at the Catholic Church a few minutes from here at 11am. The burial will be in the cemetery near the church. It would be a great pleasure to the memory of Paul if you would attend, if you would like your brothers may also come. Sergeant Williams and his family are coming, Please attend it would mean the world to me and my husband, Retired Second Lieutenant David Walker. If this wouldn't be too much I request you to do the eulogy, you may say no if you wish. God Bless-

Pamela Walker

Mrs. Walker's letter was well written in small print with tear drop smudges. I looked up from the letter that I was wrapped up in. The scene was still quiet and empty. I stood up and walked inside and awaited the 7th.

I walked into the church in my army uniform supported by my crutches, My brothers walked behind me. We took one of the seats in the middle of the church that was beginning to fill up. I saw Mr. and Mrs. Walker sitting in the front. I also saw Williams with his family.

The priest walked down the isle and we stood (I followed the crowd) and sat again. The priest stood and began to talk.

"Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here today to say goodbye to a friend, Paul David Walker. His soul now rests with God and as we pray together he watches over all of us. Paul's army friend Ponyboy Curtis will be doing the eulogy."

I stood up and hobbled up to the podium that was at the front. I looked out at all of the people and spoke. "I knew Paul for a short time. We were friend ever since the day we met on the bus to basic training. We trained together and fought together. I suppose the best way to describe us was war buddies. We passed the time with jokes and protected each other to the best of our ability. Paul died over a year ago and still today it hurts. We were as close as we ever could be. He died away from home with friends and enemies. Those who really knew him will always miss him and remember why he died, for the safety of others. Thank you." I said what I felt as I heard applause from the people in the pews. Paul's mother was crying into her husbands shoulder. I walked back to my seat as the rest of the mass continued.

We arrived at the cemetery, everyone was in silence. We gathered around a coffin that had an American flag draped over it. We said goodbye and they lowered the coffin that held no body into the soft earth. The sound of guns firing woke me from my trance.

Seven gunmen; three rounds. 21 gun solute exactly what he deserved. We walked away from the gravesite. I saw Williams with his wife. The Walkers talking to old friends and then me. I was lost in a crowd full of people with lives.

I needed to live. I needed to get away from this God forsaken town.

Okay I did my best with this chapter but the next one will be better because a big fight will erupt and someone will be gone for good. Please Review, I mean it Review- Kat