My next chapter (MrRichards1 can you please not steal this one, thanks), hope your still liking this story everyone. This chapter isnt very long i guess but i found it really hard to write so i hope its worth my effort haha but seriously. Oh yeah, i still dont own anything or anyone in this fic.. so yeahh. im gonna stop taking now so you can read this chapter and hopefully review it :)

I'll Be Here

"Hey," he said giving me a small smile. I returned it with a slightly bigger one. He walked closer to me and started to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Lil." His voice was quiet.
"Yeah"
"Sorry," He waited a second. "You know, bout' before," he said this with such sincerity as his eyes sunk into mine like a brick in deep waters. His smile faded, "I just don't need anyone feeling sorry for me or nothin', you know"
"I didn't mean to.. i don't know, i was only trying to help. It's just i know how easy it is to build up walls, to try and forget about something, forget about everything and just keep living like everything is ok when, i don't know, when it's just.. not. And people try to help you, but you just push them away and then one day you wake up and you realise it's to late to get help and your stuck in a worse place then you were before and there is no way to get out," The words i was saying were tumbling from my mouth uncontrollably, it was as though i had left my actual body and was watching someone else take control of my words and actions and i was just here to watch the mistakes unfold in a front row seat. What the hell was i saying to him? What the hell was i doing? I had to start figuring out an escape route.
I looked to the ground, trying to hide from the concerned look on Scotty's face which he was giving to me.
"Lil, what happened?" he whispered. What did i getting myself into? I searched for words, something clever to cover up my foolishness.. but nothing came to mind quick enough, so i stood there literally speechless. I jumped as i felt his hand gently rest on top of mine which i had previously clung to the bench as a means for support. I pulled my hand out from underneath his and quickly took a step back. "No one. Nothing. I am sorry i should have kept my mouth shut. Can we just forget i ever said anything," I spoke quickly, yet my words came out dry and rasp. I felt my throat burn and eyes become wet. I had to get out of here.
"But, I.." "Please Scotty," I cut him off. I quickly turned my back against him and walked out of the room.
"Lil, Wait," He called after me. I rushed through the desks that were scattered throughout the department, hurrying towards the restroom, i couldn't dare let anyone see me right now.

Once inside i stared at my reflection, about a million and one thoughts pushing their way through my head like busy traffic. A tear ran down my cheek, i quickly wiped it away. I don't even know why i was crying. Was it purely the fact that i had come so close to telling someone how i really felt? Letting someone know i was as human as the rest, did stupid things, made mistakes?
I had no idea why i had let myself keep talking, could i not have just stopped speaking after telling him that i was only trying to help? Or even better just have nodded and left it as that?
No, i had to keep rambling on and make a complete fool of myself.

I felt stupid, scared but mostly embarrassed. Stupid that i had made myself feel like this. I don't tell people things for a reason. This being the main one that comes to mind.
Scared because i knew Scotty would ask questions, want to know what had happened, want to know more then i was willing to tell.
And just plain embarrassed because here i was taking his problem and twisting it in the most abnormal way possible to be about me.

He was the one going through hard times right now and i knew he didn't need to hear about my screwed up past any more then the next person did, yet there i was trying to make things better but due to my amazing luck things are always ready to backfire,
right?
Great, another mistake to add onto my forever growing list.

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