Here is the next chapter... I dont think there will be many more chapters to come, maybe 2 or 3. or more I actually dont know. But i think you should review... that's pretty much all i know actually.

I'll Be Here

Have you ever noticed that whenever it is you need a pen, you can't seem to find one? You have to search the whole house before you eventually find a red biro, when the form you are trying to fill out says No Red Pen, in small print at the bottom of the page?

Well, sometimes I feel like my whole life is composed of only 'No Red Pen' situations.

Escape. At times that is the only thing I want to do. Take right now for instance, but like always I can't seem to think of an easy way out of this mistake.

I got up, ever so quietly and stood there literally not breathing as I looked at Scotty who was lying asleep on my couch. Shit, along with many other words of profanity, were just about the only things crossing my mind at the moment. Why... How did I even think for a split second sleeping with my co-worker would make anything better? When has that ever helped anyone, seriously?

Heading to the bathroom I tried to think of something or someone to blame, anything at all really. Alcohol would seem to be a pretty good one... Shame I haven't even had a drop of let alone cough syrup in the last week. You would think I might be able come up with more than just that one un-believably, pointless excuse for my actions, wouldn't you? But no for me, that was my first and last idea.

I headed back out to the living room, fully clothed after having a shower. I saw Scotty sitting on the couch, putting his clothes back on. I quickly stopped, turned around and back tracked my way to the bathroom. I leaned on the sink, looking into the square mirror. I breathed in deeply and then let the air back out, trying to calm myself. After doing that a few times, counting to ten and trying every other possible way that there is to make you feel even slightly more relaxed, failing on me I walked slowly back into the living room.

Scotty smiled at me as he stood up, "Morning," he said as though this was all just a normal scenario. I gave him back what I could only describe as a 'sarcastic smile,' as he walked closer to me. "Last night was amazing..." I don't think he realised this was not a 'happy' smile.

"Scotty. Last night... well, last night was... It shouldn't have happened," I explained searching for words.

"So, You didn't think it was amazing?" He asked with a small smile.

"I didn't say that, that isn't what I am trying to say. I am trying to tell you that we shouldn't have done it. It was a mistake...you know that don't you?" I asked him, knowing the answer already.

He stood there, obviously trying to plan what he was about to say. "I didn't think it was a mistake..."

That was not the answer I was hoping for.

"Look, I know you just miss Elissa and I don't expect anything from you, Ok? Except that I would like it if you pretended this never happened."

He looked down, clearly a bit disappointed. He didn't want anything more then to be just friends, did he? Did I? I still needed to figure out answers for both those two questions.

"If that's what you really want," He replied, looking down.

I nodded my head, "That's what you want too, isn't it?" I knew the only reason I was asking this was to assure myself that was in fact what I really wanted.

"Yeah, Lil," He answered, his voice only a fraction louder than a whisper. "We'll just forget it. For the best, right?."

See, he didn't think of me as anything more than just a work colleague anyway.

"I'll let myself out," he said after we both stood in silence for at least a minute. He turned around and walked towards the door.

"I'll see you later," I said quietly after him, as he left my house.

I slunk into the nearest chair, instantly feeling sick. Not the regular sick, this was something different. This was just a sick of everything sick. I wanted him to want to pretend this didn't happen, didn't I? I was suddenly so unsure of everything. I had wanted him to agree with me, but the instant he did my stomach had dropped, almost fallen, I felt disappointed... at least I think that it was disappointment.

But if I felt like this then that wasn't the answer I wanted. Was it? What else could I want though? Did I want him to tell me he didn't want to pretend but he would, only because he wanted what was best? I guess I did a little. Did I want him to tell me he wouldn't forget, because it wasn't a mistake and he actually felt something more the just a friendship between us? That idea seemed a lot more appealing to me. Could that be what I really wanted? I had a bit of an idea that it was...

Maybe he was that blue pen that I would be needing and maybe escaping wasn't the best idea.

Usually, I get someone else to read my story before i post it, but no one is home right now so if there are heaps of things that make no sense, Im sorry.