Kay welll.. This chapter isnt much of anything and I dont think it is very good, but i thought this fic needed to be updated. So i'm sorry if after you read it and then realize you have wasted like 4 minutes of your life.

I'll Be Here

When I was a kid someone once told me that if I wished hard enough I could make anything happen. I don't remember who told me this but I know I believed it for a little while, that was until I realised that I did not have those magical powers and abilities and that I was like everyone else. I had to live with all the pain that everyone around me created and no matter how much I would close my eyes and wish that things would get better, I couldn't escape it. It was always going to be there, following me where ever I went. However, I know that if I could turn back time and change a few events that I had let happen, last night would definitely make that cut.

I stumbled down the stairs from my bedroom. I could literally feel my heart beating quicker with every step I took. I'm not perfect, far from it. But I seriously thought I would never make a mistake as big as this one. Sleeping with Scotty, how utterly stupid could I get? The answer to that question; apparently a whole lot more than I ever thought possible.

I left my house, to be greeted by weather even colder than it had been in the last few days. Pushing my hands deep into my pockets, I knew catching a cab would most probably be the smartest thing to do, but I needed some time just to think everything through.

You know, I would be lying if I said I had never thought of Scotty in the same way as I had last night. I mean, what women wouldn't? In the last year I had spent more time with him then anyone else and there was no denying the fact that no matter how you looked at him he always seemed to look good. But these thoughts were supposed to be just that. They were locked in my head, where no one would be able to know of them. Putting these thoughts into actions was not something I had wanted to do, but due to my stupid choices they had been. And know knowing that those thoughts when put into actions were even more amazing then one could imagine, it was going to make it that much harder to get those thoughts out of my head. I would though, that was for sure... I had to get them out of my head.

I can't help but wonder if he was at all like me, if he had had thoughts before everything had happened or if last night he was just making one quick rational decision after the next.

What was I thinking? Of course he never had those thoughts. The only thing I was to him was a friend, nothing more and I am fine with that. Well, I was fine with that. All I am now though, is that person who was there to comfort him when he needed it. Except I wasn't just some random girl feeling sorry for him. I care about him. I do more than anything almost, but now having gone and screwed everything up we would both be struck by pure awkwardness every time we saw each other... I just knew it.

I walked into the department, scanning the room for Scotty then sat down at my desk, thankful that he had yet to arrive. Only moments later I lifted my head to see him walking through the door. His eyes caught mine before I had the chance to pretend I was in the middle of reading something. He slightly curved his lips upwards, giving me a sweet smile. I looked away sharply, though I continued to watch him out of the corner of my eye. He made his way closer towards me. Oh shit. He continued making his way closer, until I felt one of his arms softly brush against my shoulder as he continued to pass by me.

"Hey Lil," I heard him say, without any hint of... of anything in his voice.

I attempted to say hi back, but then decided to shut my mouth after it coming out as a non understandable mumble.

To my surprise over the next few hours Scotty acted relatively normal towards me. He spoke to me no more yet no less than normal and he didn't bring up last night. Me on the other hand, I could hardly manage to get three words out of my mouth and every time I looked at him all I could see was him standing in my doorway, dripping wet almost waiting for me to ruin what work relationship we already had.

For Christ's sake, I was the one who told him to forget about it, wasn't I? He was at least pretending like he had, why the hell can't I act that way?