Invisible
Chapter 6
authors notes: for the sake of this story, Jay and Mia did know each other before JTs death
Jay decided anger was a rather tangible feeling at two in the morning, when he woke up. The stiff underboards of Mia's couch jabbed him and prevented his mind from lulling himself to sleep.
He coughed slightly, his spine rigid against them. He had a right to be angry. He worked so hard to try and build himself a life, and so fast it had been taken from him.
His mind lingered on the smell scent of honey, as he glanced to a shadow that moved from the hallway.
Sitting up, he glanced to the moving darkness. Mia peered back.
"Sorry, I have trouble sleeping sometimes," she mumbled, a hand to her head. She took baby steps past him, past the couch, sitting on the love seat opposite the coffee table.
Jay said nothing, choosing simply to stare. She had on a pair of loose work out shorts, and a long sleeved shirt on. The shirt was made of black material. Those things called long johns, which Jay simply knew because his mother had made him wear them everyday under his clothes through elementary schools.
"So I take it your fixing your car tomorrow," Mia said, a finger grazing her kneecap as she sighed.
Jay was quiet, his eyes scanning the room. He nodded, "Got to," he said finally, clearing his throat.
Mia nodded, accepting his answer.
"Jay do you," Mia swallowed, "Ever think that maybe if we all would have done things a little differently, that things wouldn't have ended up like this?"
Jay frowned. What was she referring to?
Scanning his brain, he came across a shoe box of memories, and began mentally digging through to it.
Rest assured, he decided she must be talking about last time. Jay had never exactly liked JT. He tolerated him, when the situation presented itself.
For awhile though, Pre-Emma, Jay had a thing for Mia. She was this exotic looking thing, real as they come, and honest eyes. He'd watched her from afar with Bella, though never dared to get close.
Mia was the kind of girl who was like a puzzle, and Jay was sure there were pieces missing.
One day, he came across her, sitting rather grounded on the steps of Degrassi. She was quiet, her eyes lost somewhere else.
"What do you have to mope about?" Jay asked. For the life of him, he couldn't figure it out. The girl had everything.
She shook her head, "You wouldn't understand," she said softly. Maybe that day he should have listened. For he surely didn't know the turmoil behind her eyes.
Her answer plagued him, and he shook his head finally, nearly missing her hand as he continued his trudge up the steps.
That had been his chance. If he'd have just listened, Mia would have been his. Yet, thank god he didn't listen. For then, he never would have come across Emma, sitting just as mopingly on the bench in front of the window. That was the day Sean had told her he'd been cheating on her.
He'd always had a soft spot for Mia though.
"What's wrong?" he asked finally, clearing his throat. "I mean, why can't you sleep?" he said as an after thought.
Mia smiled, a nervous chuckle, "I just. Everyday. For years now. I just think about what would happen if I'd have been by his side. But then, everyday, I wonder, about...I just wonder," she said finally.
Jay's eyes blinked, as he consumed the information. He had no clue what she wondered about, but she obviousley wasn't going to tell him.
"Mia, uhh, sometimes," he paused to lick his lips, "It's okay to wonder," he said, offering a comforting smile.
Mias mind drifted back to the moment Toby had told her JT was still in love with Liberty.
"What was wrong that day?" Jay asked suddenly.
Mia caught her breath as she broke out of thought. "What?" she asked, confused.
"That day, you were almost crying on the steps. And I asked what you had to mope about," Jay asked again.
Mia frowned, thinking back to the day. "I was thinking about JT," she said finally.
"JT was already dead then," Jay responded.
Mia turned to him, an innocent blink.
"Sometimes, you got to move on. Even if you don't want to, you just got to move on, when you know it's right," he said, trying to help her.
Mia nodded, "And how do you know when its right to move on?" she asked softly.
Jay thought for a moment. Perhaps Emma really never would forgive him. Yet she was still on his mind, He was the worst person for that question. He still didn't know when it was time to move on.
"Good night Jay," was the last thing he heard Mia mumble before she disapeared back down the hallway.
He blinked, trying to comprehend the situation. He struggled with himself, deciding he'd go to Emmas first thing in the morning.
Two wrongs never made a right. But he was a mechanic. He could fix anything he damn well pleased if he tried hard enough.
His breathing was shallow, as his body struggled back, sinking into the couch. Maybe he'd bring Bella. Then Emma would see how responsible he was. After all, he made that deal with Mia. To watch Bella.
It honestly couldn't be that hard to watch a toddler. A baby would be even easier, he thought to himself drifting off finally.
Across town, a certain blonde lay awake also, her arms clutched to her chest. Lindsey was sleeping for once. Although Emma was tired, she knew it was simply her body that craved rest. Raising a baby alone wasn't exactly an easy task.
She used to wish Jay would be around to help, but now she just lay bitterly, thinking about it. She didn't need his help. She'd show him. After today, she had a feeling he was going to fight her every step of the way.
At least he was still trying to make that so out of reach right he was always trying to make, she huffed to herself as she stared at the ceiling.