Thank you for all you reviews - and a VERY VERY BIG thank you to Shakaylay for being my wonderful beta that have made this part even better than it ever could have been in just my hands!! Thank you mama!!
Well on with this continuation of the last part - Enjoy!!
Our Time - Part two...
Slowly all of the diplomatic affairs started to consume us
Slowly all of the diplomatic affairs started to consume us. This, of course, meant that we didn't see as much of each other as we used to. Rupert worked non stop and had several weeks out of country in an effort to strengthen the bonds with our allies. The more he travelled, the less time he was with us. What little time that he did have at home was spent with the children. When we finally were alone, he was too tired to even talk. As a result, we were rarely intimate. I would read in the papers what my husband was doing; he read what I was doing. We once went for an entire month without speaking to each other.
We finally had the chance to be intimate one afternoon in his office. He had just unbuttoned my shirt and unzipped my skirt; I had pulled his shirt of off him. We were kissing, making up for lost time, when a knock on the door interrupted us. Rupert moved quickly to the door, leaving me vulnerable and exposed in his haste. He cracked it open; but not so much that the person couldn't see that he was in a state of undress. I was left utterly embarrassed that he didn't hide from the intruder what was happening behind the closed door. Rupert was being given information that advised that a meeting with the French President had been scheduled. Just as quickly as our afternoon had started, it had ended. He turned and his only words to me were, "I'm sorry darling; I'm afraid I must go. I'll see you next Friday upon my return. Good bye."
With those words, he left me there in his office. I made myself look presentable again before I left his office. I went quickly to my own office and slammed the door shut after my entrance. Luckily no one was in there, so I was free to cry, which I did. When I heard a small knock on my door I dried my eyes. "Entré!" I said.
"Your Majesty, I must request that you do not change locations so quickly when inside the palace it makes it more difficu…Your Majesty, are you alright?" Joseph asked softly while closing the distance between us.
"No I am not. My husband just left me for the French President, even though I was half naked." I sniffled
"Your Majesty? I am not sure I follow." Joseph questioned.
"Clarisse. Please, Joseph, will you call me Clarisse?" I implored him as I felt the tears press against my eye lids.
"I'm sorry…Clarisse. I'm just not completely comfortable with this first name basis. Now tell me again who you think your husband left you for?" He asked.
"It was more important to Rupert to go to France right away to meet with the French President tomorrow than stay and be my husband." I felt the tears starting to slowly make their way down my cheeks.
"I'm sure that His Majesty didn't plan on it. He just wants to do what is best for Genovia and that apparently invol…" He was cut off by my lips crashing down on his. I desperately wanted him to react to my advances…if for no other reason than to reassure myself that I was desirable. He continued to stand there, immobile. He slowly pushed me back looking me in the eyes. "Clarisse, Your Majesty…what are you trying to accomplish here?" He asked.
"Am I not a desirable woman, Joseph?" I asked as I gazed upon him, the tears clouding my vision. Months and months of being alone had left my psyche in a fragile state. I just wanted to feel something…anything and have those feelings returned. I made one last effort to fill the gaping void that had been present in my life since Rupert had given himself wholly to the monarch.
I covered Joseph's lips, once again, this time softening my attempt. I did receive a small response. I suppose, in retrospect, that it would have been impossible for him to not respond at all…he was an honourable man; but he was…a man. My arms went around his neck as I relished the feel of a warm, solid body against mine. Feelings of guilt coursed through my veins, though, as I realized that the warm body was not my husband's and that I was taking unfair advantage of someone that I cared about, perhaps more than I wanted to admit. I slowly pulled back and stood there, just looking at him.
He returned my gaze for several minutes before softly answering my question. "Of course you are desirable; but this situation is…well, let's just say it's not in any of our best interests to continue down this path. Not mine, not yours; and, certainly, not the King's. You hold a very special place in my heart and I think you are an amazing Queen and woman. It's very possible – no probable - that the feelings I have for you are improper and something that I, alone, must deal with. You should focus on your husband and restoring that relationship. I know you love him and he loves you; you must find your way back to each other." He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it and then quietly left my office.
My husband returned a week later. I, along with our three children, welcomed him home with open arms and eagerness. Unfortunately, to the big disappointment of the children, especially Pierre, Rupert was rushed by his aide and secretary to his office to finish of a deal with the Spanish government. One look at my children's disappointed expressions and my fury rose to new heights. It was one thing to neglect me…I was NOT having him disappoint our children as well. I marched down the hall and just opened the door to Rupert's office and immediately dismissed all employees in the room.
"Clarisse, what is wrong?" He questioned while placing the phone back on the receiver.
"What is wrong? What is wrong? How can you even ask such a question, Rupert? You just marched right past your three children who you haven't seen you for over a week. My anger doesn't even take into account that the last time we saw each other, I was half dressed and throwing myself at you right here in this very office, only to have you rush out and leave me frustrated and alone. You are making it difficult to be a family, my King. You are making being the King more important to you than being a father or a husband. While I might understand your duty to your country, your children do not. So know this…I will never again allow you to pass your children like that, is that understood?"
"Clarisse, I'm sorry; but I needed to get all these different affairs straightened out." Rupert offered.
"I know, but you don't have to do that as soon as you enter the door. I'm sure no permanent harm will come to our great nation if you delay for just thirty minutes so you could say hello, at least, to your children. I can wait if it has to be that way…I can always hope that you will find me when you retire for the night as I am still sharing your bed…" I let my voice trail away.
"Still? What do you mean? Are you planning on moving out?" Rupert finally seemed to focus on our conversation and now was a little confused and appeared worried.
"Rupert you haven't been home much…and when you are home, you have paid even less attention to me as I do not carry around reports that need your signature. I'm not planning on moving out…but if there is not room for me in your life and you want me to…I will understand."
I hesitated a little before I continued, first silencing him with my hand "The day you left me here in your office, I was devastated. I felt rejected and alone. I ran to my office and tried to find solace in my tears. Joseph came in shortly thereafter and found me in a sad state. I'm not quite sure how to explain what happened next; perhaps I shouldn't even tell you…but, I feel as though I must…to clear my conscience and to persuade you of the seriousness of our situation."
I ventured a gaze at Rupert and saw that I did, indeed, have his undivided attention. I let out a deep breath and continued. "I'm not sure I can adequately explain to you what I felt like…I needed to feel desirable, to believe that you did not leave because you didn't want ME. Joseph walked in and I used him to prove to myself that I was still someone to be sought after. I kissed him, Rupert. When he didn't respond, I redoubled my efforts. I used my anger towards you and my need to feel wanted into something that was improper and that I can't understand myself. I'm sorry I betrayed you." I steeled myself and summoned the courage to say all that was truly in my heart. "While I accept the responsibility and any ensuing consequences for my action, you must acknowledge your part in my betrayal as well. I am your wife, Rupert, and while I know your duty to your country must come first; as your wife, I need to feel as though I am of some importance to you as well. I deserve at least that, don't I?"
Rupert seemed to be lost in thought; then he asked. "Did he return your affection?"
I didn't follow him at first. "What? Who?"
"Joseph. You said he didn't respond and then you said you redoubled your efforts. Did he respond the second time?"
I warred with myself regarding how truthfully to answer; I was willing to accept whatever came my way but didn't want to get Joseph in trouble. I looked up to see Rupert had closed the distance between us and his hand cupped my cheek. His face held a hint of sadness as he said, "He would have to have ice water in his veins not to respond to a woman as beautiful and desirable as you; and I must be a fool for making you feel that you are anything less."
"I'm truly sorry, Rupert. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
Rupert had a far away look in his eyes; I wasn't sure that his mind had fully registered all that I had just told him. "I…I'm going to need to be alone, Clarisse. I need time to think. I promise to seek you out when I'm ready to fully discuss this. Please…leave me now."
His voice was as far away as the look in his eyes and I decided that now would not be the best time to press him. I quietly answered, "Of course, Rupert," and left immediately.
Rupert divided his time the rest of the day between his duties and spending time with the children; he didn't seek me out, however, until bedtime. He came into the suite, his stride quick and purposeful. The doors slammed shut behind him. Once he reached me at the chaise he kneeled in front of me. His words were quiet, but sincere. "Clarisse I've thought about us all day. I know I haven't been much of a husband or father lately. Also, I promised you that before we were married that I would never forget that I had a duty to my family as well as my country. It seems that I may have lost sight of that. I need to make the family the most important thing in my life."
I had to know where we stood. "So you forgive me?"
"If you'll forgive me…perhaps we can start over?" His hands were holding mine as he looked intently into my eyes. "Let's consider this a closed chapter in our lives: One that we will not open or discuss again; for my sake, for your sake and…for Joseph's sake. Understood?" I nodded a definite yes and kissed him the way that I had been wanting to for weeks now.
Things changed after that night. We felt a renewed connection and devotion to each other after our talk. It took a few weeks, but I regained an ease with Joseph again, too. Once he was convinced I wasn't going to break down or throw myself at him again, our friendship became stronger as well. Rupert and I took on new projects that focused on strengthening Genovia. While any changes can sometimes be met with resistance, Rupert did a good job of leading the country to a stronger and better place.
In other political matters, Rupert's dear friend, King Constantine, and his wife were exiled. We invited them to stay in Genovia for a while. Although the circumstances were unfortunate, it worked out nicely as Rupert and Constantine had a great deal of fun together. It was a nice diversion for Rupert as he allowed some of the burdens of ruling to be pushed aside for a brief period. They couldn't stay long in Genovia, however, and moved on after six months to England, where they would be safer.
With all that is going on, political and otherwise, in Europe here as we enter the 1970's, it seems like we won't be able to take it slow anytime soon. We always make time for each other, though; and, most importantly, our children. Pierre has found an interest in the church; Christelle seems to be more materialistic, concerned only if her newest doll has curly hair instead of straight. Phillipe is obsessed with cars, of all sizes. I'm confident that if he could get permission, he would be in the garage all day long. They are all growing so fast. If I let myself slow down and think, I worry about the fact that I'm still young and already have three children who are very independent. I know Rupert feels the same way…so at least we're in it together. I know as long as we are together, as a family, we will survive and the great nation of Genovia will prosper.
I'm sorry for the long wait on an update, but I don't have as much time as I use to - so be paitient for the next part. Thank you!!