ANOTHER JOAN?

Chapter 6 Joan Charges into Action

(Author's Note: Joan the Klutz is back, for one chapter)

It seemed a good plan at the time, Joan reflected, trying to tune out the smell of horse dung.

Her plan had seemed an elegant chain of reasoning, like one of those logical exercises that Luke called "proofs". They needed to find the O'Brien girl, and the one thing that they knew about her activities was that she sometimes rode horses in the city park. Saturday was a logical day for the girl to pursue her hobby. Therefore, Joan and Adam should station themselves beside the bridle path and look for her.

Of course they'd look silly hovering around the bridle path without a horse of their own, but one was readily available. Grace's palomino Polly was still being stabled at the Begh horse farm while Rabbi Polonski sought a suitable charity to donate it to. The rabbi knew how much Grace trusted Adam and Joan, and saw nothing odd in loaning the horse to them. Maggie Begh drove the animal to the park in a horse van and agreed to retrieve it later in the day. Naturally neither Maggie nor the Rabbi knew what the Girardi-Rove couple was up to.

The catch was that neither Joan nor Adam had any experience in the saddle, unless one counted the occasion when Joan rode behind Grace in a rural section in Italy. Adam's artistic skills came to the rescue again. He had often been seen in the park sketching trees and flowers to be incorporated in his artworks. Who would be suspicious of the artist sketching a beautiful woman holding an equally beautiful palomino? (The "beautiful woman" description was Adam's addition. Joan wasn't that conceited.)

And so Joan had been standing for more than an hour, holding Polly by the reins. It was August and quite hot, and the horse droppings on the bridle path stank. What was scarier, Polly kept shaking her head and stomping her feet. Joan had no idea whether that was normal horsy behavior or a preliminary to a rebellion. If she did rebel, Joan was uneasily aware that Polly was much larger and heavier than Joan herself was. Joan had once had a phobia about horses, and it threatened to erupt again.

"I see her, Jane." Adam muttered. "She's several yards behind you, on the path."

"Thank God. I don't dare turn around, Adam; you'll have to get her attention."

Joan heard horses' hooves behind her and to her left, on the path. At the proper moment, Adam feigned surprise. "Oh! Hello again."

Joan turned to see an attractive young girl on horseback. "What---? Oh!" said the girl. She reined in her mount. "It's you, the artist guy, Mr., um---"

"Rove. Adam Rove. And this is my wife, Joan."

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Rove," said the girl with well-programmed politeness. Joan actually preferred to style herself "Joan Girardi-Rove", but she kept her mouth shut; the girl might get suspicious as to why Joan had the same name as the counselor at the church. "That's a lovely horse you've got."

"Actually it's a friend's," said Joan conversationally. Put the girl at ease. "Adam wanted to draw a sketch of it."

Adam waved his book. "I collect lots of sketches, in case I want to incorporate them into artworks later. It's one of the ways we work. Say, I remember you telling me about your, ahem, Friend. Do you think I could draw a sketch of Him? As you pointed out, I'd be the only artist with an accurate likeness."

The O'Brien girl fidgeted in her saddle. Apparently she regretted that earlier revelation. "Um, I don't think so. I can't even talk Him into meeting my parents." She picked up the reins again, obviously wanting to end the conversation and lacking adult experience with tact. "I gotta go. Bye." She urged her horse into a trot and Joan found herself watching its receding rump.

"Adam, she's getting away!"

"I know, Jane, but what can we do about it? We can't outrun a horse."

Joan looked at Polly. Maggie Begh had saddled her before leaving the area, because Adam supposedly wanted to paint Joan as an equestrienne. Joan backed up a couple of steps and put her left foot in the stirrup.

"Jane, what the hell are you doing? You don't know how to ride!"

"I've watched Grace enough times," she insisted. On her third attempt she managed to hoist herself up onto Polly's back. "I think I know what to--"

At which point Polly bolted.

"Whoa!" Joan shouted. "Whoa!" But the horse paid no attention. Adam had to dodge out of the way while the horse and rider dashed forward.

Joan knew she should pull on the reins to signal the horse to stop. But those handy controls were still hanging down from Polly's head; Joan had forgotten to keep hold on them while mounting the horse. She bent forward to try to grab them, but nearly lost her balance.

The one piece of good news was that she was headed in the general direction of the O'Brien girl. Within about twenty seconds, she caught up with the other horse and rider and passed them.

Up ahead was Sidney Street, which formed the park's eastern boundary, and was one of Arcadia's main thoroughfares. If the horse got in traffic, it could get hit, or create an accident One of the drivers saw the danger and honked his horn, as if Joan was too dumb to know what she was doing. The noise spooked Polly, who reared up. Joan held on desperately and managed to stay on the mare.

The O'Brien girl rushed up from behind Joan. She soothed the mare, patting her head and saying some words that Joan was too frazzled to follow. Finally Polly stopped jerking around and Joan thought it safe to dismount. But she lost her footing in the stirrup, and wound up landing on her rear. That was painful, but nowhere near as bruising as the blow to Joan's ego.

Even after three years of being lectured by Little Girl God, few things were more humiliating than for a grownup married woman to be rescued by a fourteen-year-old girl.

TBC