AN: Hi, happy late Mardi Gras (I'm going to blame the holiday for the fact that I didn't post this when it was done) Hope you like!!
Disclaimer: I don't own, U don't sue
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Lily made it back to the common room before she collapsed with exhaustgen. Her inner turmoil had worn her out more than a 6K early morning run. Non of her friends wanted to leave her, they knew that the news of her parents would be owl-ed threw the window at any moment and they didn't want her to be alone when she got it.
"Guys, I'm fine. Just go to bed alright" Lily said putting on her 'brave' face and trying to act as if she wasn't waiting to see if her parents had been killed.
Right as the five of them began to argue that they where fine and had nothing else better to do a brown owl flew in to the room and landed solemnly in front of Lily.
Lily untied the letter from it's leg and read it quietly to herself. A few moments latter her shoulders sagged and the letter fluttered to the ground from her slack hand.
"Lily, what is it?" James asked quietly.
"My moth- my mother was killed and my father has yet to wake up from his coma" Lily said quietly. She reached down to get the letter and stood up.
"I'm quite tired and think I will rest now" Lily said walking towards the stairs. Mora jumped up and began to follow her best friend not wanting her to be alone in such a time.
Mora looked back at the four boys, Sirius raised his hand and made a writing motion hoping she would write them if anything went wrong.
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Mora was worried she had never seen Lily act this way. Lily was currently sitting at her desk trying to write a letter to her sister explaining why their mother was killed and their father was injured. But Mora could tell it was not going well. After writing a few words she would crumple up the paper and throw it over her shoulder, there was already a small mountain of wasted trees behind Lily's chair and Mora was worried about Lily's stony silence.
"Lil, maybe you should try to get some sleep we have classes in a few hours." Mora said looking at the clock, it was already 3 in the morning, she didn't know how to comfort Lily.
What do you tell someone who had just lost a parent to a war that was only known to some, how would explain this to her sister, what would her father say when he woke up, would her father even wake up.
"I'm fine" Lily said grabbing another sheet of parchment, "I'm fine". Mora had lost count of how many times Lily had said that since they heard the news. 'I'm fine' that was all Lily had said, Mora knew that she was lying, hell a deaf and blind person could figure that out.
"Lily," Mora stopped, she still hadn't figured out what to say "Here's some more paper" She said handing Lily a fresh stack from her own desk. Lily smiled softly and took them from her. Mora was pleased for a second there Lily had lost her icy façade.
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James was early to breakfast, he wanted to wait in the common room until Lily came down, but at the same time he didn't want to smother her. He was wound up, he didn't get much sleep and was worried over what to say.
Sirius was reading over a essay he was turning in two weeks too late, but he was reading the second sentence for the fifth time now, his eyes kept wandering up to the door and back to his paper.
Peter was trying to figure out what to say to Lily, but he was distracting James who was trying to do the same thing, even between the two of them they could not find away to share the sentiment that they were sorry about her loss, that it was not her fault, and they were hear for her.
Remus was trying to keep Peter and James' ideas in the practical range, the two of them left together sure could talk their way in to a very, very deep hole.
They were late, neither Lily nor Mora had sown up for breakfast and they only had ten more minutes until classes started. Finally, with only five more minutes to go the door opened.
James jumped up from the table the moment her saw Lily, but forced himself to sit back down. He didn't want to bring attention to Lily, he didn't know if she was going to make this news public.
Lily made her way over to the table and sat down next to James.
"I'm fine" she said as she reached for a glass of juice.
"That is all she has said about it, and pretty much the only words I can get her to say" Mora whispered to Remus as she reached for a muffin.
The six of them sat in a silence that quickly went from semi-comfortable to painfully awkward as the few minutes they had passed. Just as Peter was going to try and break the ice with a corny joke or story a professor yelled at them to get to their classes.
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Mora was trying to write Lily a letter, but Lily was sitting next to her but Mora knew with this hazy she was in she didn't even notice what Mora was doing. Mora always felt that she could word things in a letter better than in a conversation and she knew that Lily had to snap out of this.
Lily was walking out of class with Mora and got to the stair case where they parted, they didn't have their next class together, she looked up to say her normal 'see ya latter' to Mora when she noticed that Mora has stopped walking a few steps behind her. Lily turned around and saw Mora grab a letter from her bag.
"Here, I want you to read this, I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn't figure out what to say." Mora handed Lily the letter and descended the stairs to head out to her Magical Creature class that she had with James and Remus.
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"I think I have signed my own death slip" Mora complained as she reached James and Remus.
"What do you mean?" James asked picking at a leaf that he picked up.
"I wrote Lily a letter,…. I said all the things that I find to hard to tell her in person. I don't know how she will take it." Mora was worried, while she and Lily were close, she had never had to be brutally honest with her about anything other than telling her that bright pink was not really her color.
"I think she will understand, she is your best friend, and she know you." Remus said trying to help Mora feel as if she had done the right thing.
"Yeah, I hope that she understands" Mora said not really paying any attention to their lesson of the day but instead listing the ways she could try and explain her letter if it didn't go over well.
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Lily was sitting in the back of her charms class, while she loved this subject and always wanted to do well, but she rather sit in the back than the front. She did her work, so teachers always assumed that she paid attention all the time. But there had been times, like today, where the influence of her boyfriend and his friends was evident as she used her 'smarts' to hide the fact that she was not being her normal 'goody' self. She pulled the letter Mora gave her out of her bag and unfolded it
" 'Dearest Lily,
What can I say to you? I don't know, I want you to know that you have all of us to get through this with, in no way are you going through this alone. I am so sorry that your mother, who was so kind and wonderful and gave those traits to you, was killed. The men that killed her are evil people who want to mold the world in to their own twisted view of it. They have stolen so many lives, and are darkening all of ours.
It in no way could have been prevented, I am sorry that it happened. But even if you had no magical powers, or If you never came to school here it still would have happened, Fait works that way, and while it is unfair and has no reasoning behind it, it is something that controls us all.
Lily, I want to you know something, you have to live your life. If you let this destroy yourself then they have won. I know that this is a lot to go through. When my father died I had no idea how to act, to know that he would no longer be in my life to experience all of the things I had yet to do, that realization saddened me to no end, but I know that he is happy that I have lived my life. I know that he celebrated in my joy and in my happiness.
Lily, we love you, we all do. You are like the sister I always wanted (and sometimes am glad I never had… haha… little joke). I hope that you know that James loves you, Remus sees you as a little sister, Sirius would protect you through anything and Peter is as loyal to you as anyone could be. I want you to know that we will always feel this way for you, but it would be easier if you would snap out of this icy, British, I-don't-feel-anything-and-cant-show-any-emotions thing you have going on.
Well that is all I can write we have only a few more minutes before we have to leave class and I give you this note, I am here for you, I will go home with you when you have to deal with your horse-necked shrew of a sister if you would like.
Much love, Mora (your friend, that you shouldn't get mad at… another little joke)"
Lily re-folded the letter and thought for a minute, she was normally so level headed, so logical, but this. This death,. She had no way to prepare for this, this was something he never really thought she would have to deal with. This 'war' was not even official but now her mother was a casualty and her father was in a coma, and her sister would blame her,
How could she deal with this, there were no books on this, there was no teacher that could just solve her problem with one simple fact that she had overlooked.
But she did have her friends, who were more like family anyway, she knew that she could get threw this, she didn't know when she would get over this, but she knew that Mora was right, she did have to live her life.
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Thanks for review, I love them
I have half of the next chapter done (so it shouldn't been all that long before I finish and post it)
Songs:
The Way I Am- Ingrid Michaelson
Vampire - Antsy Pants
Thanks for review, I love them (I know I said it before, this is a shameless hint ..lol)