I'm sick of wanting to cry
Because of what I can't have
What I really need
What I've wanted all my life
And to know that it's all my fault that I can't get what I want
Because of who I am.
No matter how hard I try
And then when I think about it
Everything else gets destroyed
And it happens all the time.
Although I tell myself that I won't do it again
It happens.
What's the point of living
If I don't have someone to tell me it's ok
To laugh with me
To cry with me
No matter how or what things are like.
To understand with more than a word or two,
A pat on the back
Which means nothing
And then come to me
And expect me to give everything for them.
And sometimes I just want to die.
I give you all that I can
And I hope to get something back
To pick me up from the dumps
Or just to hold me tight
Or to laugh with me through the night.
Because there is respect
There is no class
No boundaries
Pushing me back
From the things that I want to deserve
That I know I deserve
I give all I can
To those that I love
And all I get back
Are your simple demands.
So when I ask for a favor
I am scared, ashamed
Scared it might hurt you
Ashamed at my weakness
Afraid of what you might say…
Better to say what you want
Than let you down and loose whatever respect I have been spared.