After Drake had left I sat on my couch wondering if I should go after Johnny, I know I hurt him even if I didn't mean to. Johnny's my best friend, he's really my family, and I don't really talk to my own family. I always go to him for everything. I need to see him…now.

I rode around town looking for Johnny. I went to his apartment, the construction site, his dad's house, and I even went to Gavin's house but I had no luck I was just about ready to give up when I drove past his apartment and saw a light on. I ran out of the car and up the 4 flights of stairs. I stopped in front of his door which was very unusual because I usually just barge right in without even knocking; ha I guess that's why he got caught so many times. I took one long deep breath and knocked hard on the door once as a warning and opened the door actually scared of what I would find on the other side.

"Johnny… Hey are you here?"

I yelled down the hallway making sure that he would hear me where ever he was in the apartment.

"Ugh… Ash this isn't a good time."

Johnny hung on to the doorway of his bedroom half dressed.

"Well I wanna talk, and I wanna talk now!"

I was so pissed I don't even know why I was so pissed.

"Ash seriously just go."

"NO! You owe me at least a minute."

My rant was disrupted by a half naked female body slinking around in the back ground struggling to find her clothes.

"Oh I see that's why you can't talk to me your cheating… You're cheating on me!"

I yelled from the top of my lungs and the girl scurried along much faster now! "Wow dejavu" I laughed to myself. At least this time I really didn't care I wasn't even hurt I was just doing this to mess with him like he did with me this morning.

"Ash stop yelling!"

He said with that look again. God that look hurt it pierced right through me.

"I'm so sorry I didn't know."

A mousey voice said as the teeny bopper ran passed me. I guess Johnny didn't really care because he just let her walk out he must have already got what he wanted from her.

"Now do you have time?"

He didn't answer just sat down on his bed.

"Johnny I love you, I love you so much you mean the world to me. But you have to let me go sometime, right?"

I said trying to hold back my tears. I loved him but he didn't deserve my tears anymore. I didn't deserve to be treated like sloppy seconds; I made up my mind long ago that I wasn't waiting around for him.

"Johnny we spent two years together and four more as friends, not once have you ever said I love you. When all my girl friends were getting engaged I walked around not even knowing if I could call you my boyfriend. Everyone told me to leave you to stop taking your shit, but I loved you. I…"

Again my ranting was being stopped but this time by Johnny's lips on mine. God this felt good but I couldn't.

"Johnny please stop!"

My tears rolled down my face uncontrollably.

"Isn't this was you want Ash?" He said really believing that.

"That's what you got out of all that? That I want to be manhandled? I want something real I want a fiancé and someone I can come home to at night and vent and snuggle with. Johnny your not that guy, even if you wanted to be that guy you couldn't."

"Why?"

He looked me straight in the eyes awaiting my answer.

"Because Drakes gone in a day and you're not going to want me the way you do now after he's gone."

"Ash look I'm sorry are we cool?"

"Yeah, were good."

I smiled and sat down on the bed in complete exhaustion.

"Listen I need to have fun, I need to be myself. Johnny things have to be different if I want to see a guy I can without you busting in the next morning embarrassing the shit out of me. Okay?"

"I understand I'm sorry."

Johnny leaned over and put his arms around making sure that everything was alright when I felt a vibration coming from my pants. My phone was ringing, Johnny loosened up his grip to let me answer my phone. I didn't recognize the number.

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Me: "Hello"

Caller: "Ashlee?"

My face must have brightened up like a light bulb I automatically knew the voice coming from the other end, how could I forget it.

Me: "yeah, hi."

Drake: "I'm done my interview I was wondering if you would like to get together, maybe dinner."

Me: "Sure but can I call you back in a little bit?"

Drake: "umm… yeah sure ... are you going to the concert tonight? It's our last night and I would really like to see you there and then maybe after we can talk about dinner."

Me: "Definitely I'll see you there."