(A/N): Hey! I've not died from school work...not yet, at least. I've felt the strain of taking too many classes already, but it's not to unbearable. I've decided to use this chapter as a lot of different stuff. Now thinking back on it, I think I may have put too much in here. I'm really sorry that this came out like a week later than I had originally planned...but I was suddenly busy last week and couldn't get this done. There will be one more chapter after this (and I'm hoping it will be 'released' before mid-October...but see how I do.) This chapter may be full of typos. Please point them out to me if you see one...I really don't like them :D

Chapter 11 – Insights

Flames rolled forth from a large pile of sticks – a pyre on which a frail-looking body was laid. Her dress was a faded magenta, her hair still a shimmering orange-red, slightly singed as the fire consumed her. Beside the fire was a man, standing still as a statue. Unashamed tears rolled down his cheeks as, for the first time in his life he muttered prayers.

For, despite all his promises to never let himself fall in love, James had done just so. He was always so cold and emotionless, hoping, in vain, that she could hate him. It was, after all, much easier to disregard his feelings when they were unrequited. His wish came true…but in a much more painful way than he had expected. All but forgotten, Victoria had launched herself in front of him to protect him from a bullet that should have landed in his heart. She gave her life to save his, the silly girl.

More silent tears fell. Through blurry eyes, he saw the blobs of green and brown that made up the forest around him; and the brilliant orange-red of the fire, reminding him so vividly of his Victoria's hair. There were times when she was asleep that he would sit beside her, absentmindedly stroking her soft yet untamed hair; occasionally sliding a finger down her cheeks. Once, he had been daring enough to press a soft kiss on her supple lips.

As he stood there, watching the all-consuming fire ate away at what remained of his love, he remembered what his father had once told him: "Son, there are no pills for regrets. You must not take anything for granted, but rather, enjoy every moment of life as a blessing." How right those words are! There are innumerable things he should never have taken for granted, and now there were innumerable things he regretted not taking full 'advantage' of. All James had left within him was a hard shell encompassing a dark fury – deep hatred for those who had caused him to loose everything he had never known he valued.

Revenge…yes…he will revenge the death of Victoria, and then offer his own life to the heavens so that he could join her. The thought pacified him, calmed his aching heart. As the last of the pyre fire faded away, leaving nothing but ashes, he took out a small pouch. Walking towards the dying fires, he filled his pouch with Victoria's ashes. He shall join her soon with her killers in tow, he hoped, or die trying with a part of her by his side.

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The sun rose gradually over the horizon. Edward leaned against the balcony, his amber-gold eyes staring at the morning glory, deep in thought. The past three days had been worse than hell for him. When Bella left, he felt like his life left. He wanted to cry out – to scream and to run to her, embrace her and keep her there forever, but his reasoning mind stood adamant. She would be in greater danger by his side than if he let her go.

It had torn him apart.

Edward had retreated into his suite where her scent was the strongest, breathing it in as if it was more crucial to his existence than food or air. There he stayed, unmoving, nearly unconscious as he more or less let misery wash over him. He shuddered at the memory of those times. He cocked his head. Not far from him, his sweet Bella lay, fast asleep. Her face still bore unhealed scratches James had caused with his sword, and yet she was more beautiful than ever.

His heart felt suddenly complete as soon as he saw her. He recalled when he first spotted her with James on the dais, James's sword at her delicate neck. He recalled the pure unadulterated terror he felt. There was no way he could live without her. He learned that much.

So why didn't he tell her his feelings? Edward pondered on that question more times than he could count. He was almost positive that she returned his feelings, somehow, completely, and yet, neither would confide. Did she not want to love? Was she still scared, thinking him the ruthless monster that he was? Edward shook his head. She had all right to feel that way. He had imprisoned her in his castle against her will, initially wanting to save her for a snack later despite his promise, but somehow ending up falling deeply in love. He tried to redeem himself in her eyes, trying everything he could, but no one could forgive that easily. No one could trust that easily.

He recalled what Emmett had said – that he should tell her and get it over with; yet one part of him – the more selfish part – doesn't want this to end. He didn't want to release her into the world, but rather, bind her to him in every way possible – make her his forever and ever. But, he was also selfish enough to want everything. She had to willingly give up herself utterly, or he would not take any at all.

He was still a monster. He knew what his love confession could lead to. He could break his curse – his entire family's curse, if his feelings were requited. The curse knows truth; it would not break if she did not mean it. Deep inside, he was still a coward. Of course he was afraid! If she had just said it to be nice and kind, he would know. Edward didn't think he could take that kind of rejection. He wasn't even ready for that possibility.

Suddenly, warm hands clasped around his waist, a very warm body flushed against him, drawing a badly-concealed gasp from him. He wanted this – God, he loved this woman; his heart swelled with pleasure.

Swiftly he turned to embrace his beauty – his Belle, pressing kisses wherever he could. Her breath became ragged, her heart thumped erratically. He smirked in a bout of pure masculine satisfaction. "Breathe, Bella," he whispered. She drew a shaky breath.

He stopped, his eyes glowing and smoldering; her eyes wide but clouded staring back at him with an intricate mix of confusion, curiosity, and desire. His heart melted and trembled under her intimate gaze – he was drowning in them but he did not care. Without realizing it, he leaned closer to her, watched her eyes flutter shut in anticipation. How he loved her! He thought as, with the lightest of pressure, his cold lips met her soft full ones. Her heady floral scent enveloped him, bringing him to a state of both hyper-awareness and unawareness. It made him want…desire…need…

A sudden piercing screech echoed throughout the castle. Bella jumped back in shock, suddenly realizing that there was no 'back' to jump to, as Edward had somehow pinned her against the wall. His eyes were unfocused; his body stiff.

"Edward?" she called, uncertain.

Slowly, his eyes cleared. A string of profanities came out of his mouth as he ran through all the swears he knew in the twenty-some odd languages he knew. His arms were protective around her. Far below, muffled sounds of fighting and furniture-breaking could be heard.

"James led the village here. Not Forks; but another gullible village. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie are going to keep them off to give you time to hide away." Edward's voice was soft, hiding his emotions well. Yet, his eyes betrayed the fear and anxiety he had within. "James wants one of us to pay for his Victoria." The last was barely a whisper.

He tried to lead her away – to hide her in the most secret part of the castle; to save her so she might live. She didn't budge. She knew what he was doing; she detested it. In a low voice, she replied, "Edward Cullen. If you think for one second that I'm going to let you give up your life to James so that I could live, you've got another think coming." She almost smiled. This was the second time she said this. The moment was short lived. Tears formed in her eyes as she said the next words. "The first time didn't work. It did make me realize one thing: I can't live without you. You can't leave me…it would kill me…" She wanted to hit herself over the head for being so selfish. His family needed his help; and yet…yet…

His eyes darkened at her reply. He stood still…so still; barely breathing. And then he sighed. "You're right. I put us both through hell for forcing you to leave. I can't do that again." His eyes, when they gazed into hers, were gentle and loving. Edward's head snapped up, staring off into the distance. Without warning, he scooped her into his arms and ran through the castle with a dizzying frenzy. Doors opened silently, as if opened by some unknown hand; walls sped past. The old paintings looking similar and familiar.

He was spreading a web of their scent so that it was harder to find. He stopped all of a sudden facing a blank wall. It took a moment for Bella to realize that the painting that hung there had been moved. Edward tapped on a brick three times; a sliver appeared. He pushed upon it to reveal a door that quickly shut behind them. Narrow passages extending several different ways webbed the dim atmosphere.

Silently, he led her down the wider one, zigzagging through the maze until she felt like she had walked the same place seven times. Just as she was about to give up, Edward stopped again. He pushed on another wall to reveal a door leading into a lighted, comfortable room. The door shut to reveal a seamless wall. She would never have know there was a door there had she not came through it.

"We are safe here…there is no way James could find us. My family and I are the only ones who can recognize which room has occupants." He took a deep breath. "Now we wait."

He made no more sound. Rather, Edward lapsed into a deep silence. Bella cuddled at his side, feeling him tense and relax periodically, feeling incredibly guilty when he tensed up for a move he would have taken. (A/N: the next part would sound incredibly like eclipse. I didn't realize until Eclipse was out that my story outline takes after it in a way. It won't be a great spoiler…I don't think it spoils at all…but just to let you know :D)

And then, Edward crumpled, holding his head and cringing against the plush flooring as if in some great pain. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands pulled aimlessly on his hair as if to alleviate some of the pain by making it real. Shocked, Bella kneeled by him, her hands fluttering helplessly along his body – trying, attempting to find the source of his distress.

"Edward? Edward, what's wrong? Speak," she cried.

He hissed incoherently…something that sounded like Jasper. And then he disappeared. Just like that, he was gone. The door was ajar – a hole in the wall. Bella broke down. She had hoped that he could care for her, requite her love. Yet, his family was more valuable than her. She knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn't help it. She had dreamed of maybe joining his family. She wanted to be with him – there was no other. And yet…

Determined, she hastily brushed her tears away. She need no longer feel guilty. She would sacrifice herself for the cause of Edward. Better she die than he! If such was the truth, she'd rather not face it.

Stumbling to her feet, she followed the long-gone Edward out of the room and into the dark maze of corridors beyond. By chance or luck, she found another door and opened it. The corridor outside was bright; sunlight streamed in. She found the way to the ramparts. Distant fighting floated up, almost like faint tinkering bells swaying in the breeze, although not as charming.

She wandered along the castle tops, her mind surprisingly blank. She felt like walking in a dream – a dream where the danger seemed so unreal. And there, she saw it. She saw them, fighting a hand-to-sword combat at the top of the tallest spire. James had drawn his dark obsidian blade. Edward was dancing, blocking each move with perfect grace. One had the weapon; the other had unmatched agility. A dangerous dance – the tiniest mistake could be fatal. Her mental haze had not cleared. The sun had disappeared behind clouds. Edward's skin was faintly sparkling. James and his dark blade absorbed all the light around.

Unconscious of what she was doing, Bella meandered closer. There was a turn in the walkway that led to that tall spire. She took it, keeping her eyes fixed on the combat. All thoughts scattered; only one was prominent: If all else failed, she would die; if not, then she would spill her deepest secret to the world and hope for the best.

She entered the silent spire, quietly stepping up the twirling steps. It was taller and much bigger than she had thought – one could dance atop it without ever falling. The staircase ended at the far side of the spire, almost hidden from view. Yet, as soon as she emerged, Edward cursed. He knew she was here; he knew what she planned to do. James had not noticed…not yet at least. Bella's mind still lived in a dream.

She watched their swordplay. James was good; but Edward was better. Their dance was surprisingly silent, yet the tension between them was palpable. The sword twirled and whirled; Edward dodged and blocked, occasionally sending James stumbling. The dance quickened, as if each had known that the end was near. It was no longer silent. Occasional masculine grunts sounded; but both moved too quickly for her eyes to discern. And then it suddenly ended. A flash of black and Edward held James' sword against his neck. James stilled, his eyes narrowed in fury and anguish, staring at the place where Bella hid. He laughed cruelly.

"Your skills are far superior than mine, but everyone has a weakness," he proclaimed loudly. Edward's eyes narrowed; he did not reply. James continued. "Your little love over there doubts herself and doubts your skills. You should've killed me already, yet you haven't. Why the waste of time?"

Edward's eyes hardened, yet he still didn't reply. James laughed again. "You doubt yourself too, don't you?" From her hiding place, she saw James shift slightly. Edward was immobile - frozen and tense. Suddenly, James raised an uppercut that sent the sword flying straight into the air. He then drew a dagger from his boot and stabbed Edward with a graceful swing. Bella gasped silently, rooted in place; but Edward wasn't finished…he jumped into the air with one easy leap, caught the spinning sword by the hilt and slashed James's throat. He struck the sword into the ground, leaning heavily upon it as James slowly collapsed with a faint smile of triumph.

As if suddenly unfrozen, Bella ran to Edward's side just as he sank to the floor. "Edward!" she called, crying. "Don't die…please don't die! You'll be okay, you'll be alright…" Edward smiled.

"I told you to stay hidden," he reprimanded her. Weakly, he brought his hands up to cup her wet cheeks. "But I'm glad you came. I love you, you know? You've had my heart for a long time. You always will."

"I love you, too," she replied, hiccupping. "You stole my heart and I didn't even notice it! How careless of me." She chuckled, though it sounded forced. "But I don't want it back. I don't ever want it back."

He smiled in happiness as darkness took him over.

It's NOT the END! Not yet, anyway...although I might be killed with the kinda-sorta cliffie I left. The next chapter will be my last one for this story, and then I'll probably get all settled down in school before I'll start another story and/or a collection of short works that may or may not be made up of all oneshots. But, I'll see how it goes.

As always, please leave a review! I like to hear what you think of it. Constructive criticism most welcomed! Cookies for those who review ;) Please don't hesitate to point out any typos to me...I will occasionally check through, but there may be some that I missed!

Cathy