Chapter 1 – Beginning
The fall of 1920 was the hardest years in my entire immortal life. I didn't know where I was, I only knew I needed to break free. For unknown sufferable years I slept in the bitingly cold confines of the black cell without light, without company, without love. Everything changed its course when I awoke. Somehow, things were different. Any blind person could tell.
The blood pulsated in my veins giving me more power than I ever thought I could possess. The strength frightened me to no end but I knew I had to make full use of it. After all, things happened for a reason. My memories were limited until the times when I had woken up alone in a never ending blackness. The dark scared me.
When I opened my eyes, I did not have a clue as to where I was or what I was doing there. A faint smell of kerosene lit my nose. Fire. Something was burning. Like a lost child, I did not know what to do. And like any lost child would, I ran.
My legs kept pumping and the adrenaline rush was intoxicating. My breath was even although I had to be going faster than a station wagon. As I leaned against an old oak tree to catch my breath, I realized I was not even breathing at all.
Startled, a hand flew to my chest. Then my brain went numb. I could not feel it; I could not feel my heartbeat! Where was it? Frantically, I stumbled around the dense forest. My hands reached out for something to support my weight. I caught a frail-looking tree bark and as my fingers tightened around its thick exterior, it crumbled in my hands like dust.
As I stared down at my trembling hands with horror, panic and confusion ran through my mind, a thousand unanswered questions. The wind howled, the leaves whispered to each other. A distant gurgling sound of a stream came to my ears even though they had to be far off. The limp grass beneath my feet bowed as I kicked up and sprinted barefooted.
For the first time I noticed what I had on; a black dress with tears and rips at the ends. Leaves and debris found their way to my messy, tangled hair. My fingers ran through them and stayed there as I planned out my next move. What should I do? Was I supposed to be dead? Fear tightened my throat at the single word; dead.
As a lump formed in the base of my throat, my vision remained unparalleled. I prepared for the endless stream of tears but there were none. Not even one drop threatening to spill. Suddenly, I tripped over a pebble by a calm stream. I ended up sprawling inches away from the water.
I waited for the pain to come as I held my breath. I could have stayed in that position had I not seen the reflection in the water. A piercing scream rang through the forest. My eyes stared into the image in horror. Complete revulsion. Making sure it was truly me, I lifted a pale hand to my face. The person in the stream mimicked my movement. If I had any tears, I would have cried them dry.
That awful monster in the water could not be me! I refused to believe the mirror image in the surging stream. As I continued gazing into the reflection, the wind picked up and the sky darkened considerably. It had to be nighttime now. A hand wandered across the ghastly white face with the unearthly flaming red eyes that were murderous.
This was what I was? How did this happen? When did this happen? As I was staring intently at the face that seemed to be mine, a twig snapped somewhere behind me. My eyes flew away from the calm waters to see a dark figure looming in the blackness. Muscles tensed under my pale skin that was whiter than paper. I pulled my lips back, ready to attack should the need arises.
I was almost thrown off balance. The scent that came off the stranger's skin was simply mouth watering. My feet coiled, ready to spring forward to attack him but I caught myself, shocked and disgusted. My nose burned, my lips clamped shut by my teeth.
I breathed heavily as I tried to focus my thoughts elsewhere but the thirst was undying, it still burned strongly. Questions swam in my mind; why was I acting this way? I could not answer my own uncertainty. I had to be going crazy. It was the only logical explanation. I was pretty sure sane people would not be wandering around without any memories or have the urge to kill somebody, to taste their blood. It was just sickening and I hated it
Since every single tissue in my body wanted to lurch forward to pounce on him, I had to keep my eyes to the towering trees that were shaking gently in the night breeze. At first the man stopped and I wondered if he was terrified of the monstrosity standing before him but a smile played on his thin lips. Finally, I allowed myself a look at him while breathing through my mouth. It did not stop the smell but it helped just a bit.
Now that I could see him clearly, I was surprised at the wrinkled face he bore. He kept his eyes to the ground but he was smiling at me warmly as though we were best friends. He was insane. His hair was peppery grey with whites everywhere and was thinning. The loose white shirt he wore clung to his skeletal frame like a cloth over a hook.
A black weather-beaten leather belt held his baggy brown pants around his waist. His feet were dirty and his toenails blackened by the dirt. Even though we were a good distance apart, I could make out the outline of his ribcage as he wheezed through the thin shirt. His brown skin was shriveled and there were wizened lines running on his face. His bare arms were spotted. I realized he had to be homeless. He was practically just skin and bones.
Then he shivered violently. My eyes widened in surprise. Was it cold? I could not feel it. Suddenly I felt a strong sense of sympathy towards this old man. However, he kept his eyes to the littered ground. Had he seen my eyes? Had they frightened him just as they did me? I resisted the impulse to reach out and hold his bony hand. The thirst was still as strong as ever but I vehemently fought it as hard as I could.
"Is anyone there?" he rasped. I froze in my tracks. Slowly, he lifted his head up. A hand flew to my mouth. His rheumy eyes were a pale blue and he had no pupils. He was blind. Carefully, I stepped closer to him. I nodded my head then felt silly. He could not see me. A hand stretched out to me. I hesitated.
"It's all right, there's no need to be afraid, child." I politely ignored his invitation. Shrugging to himself, he walked past me quietly. I almost tore out at him when he passed me but my fingernail dug hard into my cold skin. He sat himself down on the grass by the stream and looked in no particular direction. He patted the patch of green blades next to him. Cautiously, I sat down.
"So child, why are you out here all alone? Lost your family?" he asked me kindly. My back stiffened. What should I tell him? That I had no clue as to where I was? Let alone who I was? "I don't know," came my muted reply. He nodded understandingly. His eyes were wise as he turned towards me.
"Ah, I know the feeling," he murmured to no one in particular. No you don't, I thought bitterly to myself. "Is there something wrong?" I turned slowly to face him. I began to question whether he was truly blind. He seemed to be able to see more than I could.
"Nothing. Not at all." I told him without feeling. He nodded once again. "Do not think no one is looking for you. What you want may be right in your hands just that you do not know it yet. Everyone, everyone born in this world is somebody. Nobody is no one. We are all special you know. You will find your place in this hard world one day," he said quietly. I just hugged my knees as he spoke, staring into the water. Luckily from where I was sitting, I could not see myself.
"What is your name, child?" his question caught me off-guard. It was when I realized I did not know my own name. Then I remembered the white paper tag around my left wrist. I tore it off and held it up against the dim light to read it. Thanks to my ruthlessness, the strip was torn into bits but a piece held. It read "ALIC" the last alphabet was slightly smudged but I could still make out the last word, "E". Alice. My name was Alice. At least now I had an identity. I clutched the thin strip of paper close to my chest.
The man waited patiently for my answer. My lower lip trembled as the word rolled off my tongue.
Then I whispered into the wind, "Alice."