The Taste of Crimson
Chapter Five
Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all associated characters were created by Minekura Kazuya. I am making no money from this and am merely using the characters and setting for storytelling purposes.
Author's Note: Houran is from the movie and Kougyoku is the half-breed woman from episode eight of Gunlock. I made earlier mention of them along with Yanming and her half-breed baby. Those two are from episode 24 of the first Saiyuki anime series.
In the manga version, Gojyo's mother takes an axe to him on the day she tries to kill him, rather than trying to strangle him. I'm going with the manga version, as it has more impact.
Hakkai absently stroked Hakuryu's head, watching Retsuko. An awkward silence had fallen over the camp after his explanation of Gojyo's behavior, and the youkai woman had started fidgeting restlessly, seemingly absorbed in her own uneasy thoughts.
"Hey, where's Kyoko?" Goku suddenly asked, looking up from the crackling fire.
Retsuko glanced at him sharply, a strange, wild gleam in her eyes, before she sprang to her feet. "Kyoko!" she called anxiously, her gaze darting wildly around the area.
"I'm right here, Mommy," the little girl said, running toward them from the trees flanking the left side of the camp.
"Where have you been?" Retsuko shouted hysterically. "I've been worried sick about you!"
Hakkai frowned, troubled by the tone of her voice. The attack in town and her inadvertent prodding of one of Gojyo's sore points had no doubt unsettled her, but she shouldn't take it out on the child by shrieking at her over a relatively minor infraction. He shifted, prepared to step in and calm the woman down if necessary.
"I-I'm sorry, Mommy," Kyoko stuttered nervously. "I just went out into the woods to talk to-"
"Stupid brat! Didn't it occur to you to ask before you left?" Retsuko snarled. "You're a selfish, horrible little creature!"
"Retsuko, what are you doing?" Goku asked in alarm, jumping up.
"Miss Retsuko, stop!" Hakkai yelled, surging to his feet. He had the sickening feeling that she was going to do much more than shout at the girl.
Retsuko ignored them both, raising her hand to strike the frightened six-year-old. Hakkai started toward her, his actions slowed by shock, but then Gojyo was suddenly there, slipping between mother and child and grabbing the woman's arm.
"Don't touch her," he said, his voice filled with the deadly quiet Hakkai had only rarely heard from him. "Don't you fucking touch her."
"Don't hurt Mommy!" Kyoko begged. "You said it's the Minus Wave. It's not her fault she's like this."
Gojyo glanced over his shoulder, and Hakkai froze. The pain in those bright red eyes was like a knife to the heart. Even though the piercing gaze wasn't directed at him, he couldn't look away. That was why he didn't notice Retsuko's actions until it was too late. The spear shaft hit Gojyo's head with a sickening crack, and the half-breed dropped to his knees.
"Filthy, half-human mongrel!" Retsuko screamed, viciously slamming her weapon down on his head over and over again. "I can't believe I let something like you touch me!"
"Gojyo!" Hakkai called franticly, forming a chi ball as Gojyo fell in an unmoving heap. His friend had spent too many years as the helpless victim of an insane woman's wrath to do anything in his own defense.
"Stop it, Mommy!"
The spear shifted, and Kyoko screamed as the shaft hit her with a sweeping blow. The small child was flung through the air, landing in the water with a loud splash.
"Kyoko!" Goku dashed to the river, diving in after the girl.
Retsuko focused on Gojyo again, shrieking raggedly as she took her insane rage out on him. She flipped the spear around, preparing to jab the point into the body at her feet, and Hakkai threw his chi ball, knowing with heart-wrenching certainty that it wouldn't hit in time.
Then there was the sharp crack of a gun firing, and Retsuko fell, a neat hole in the middle of her forehead.
Goku hugged his knees to his chest, wondering how such an amazing day had ended up going so terribly wrong. He'd woken up feeling great, able to stuff himself without getting sick. Then, when they'd finally gotten to another town, he'd been allowed to buy whatever he wanted, and Sanzo had even patted him on the head.
The townspeople attacking Retsuko had sucked, but then she had cooked for them. The food had been so good, and everything had been wonderful until the stupid kappa got all pissy just because Retsuko was nicer than his mom had been. After that, Sanzo had left camp, and things had felt weird and tense.
He couldn't believe Retsuko had snapped like that. She had been such a good cook. How could she have knocked Kyoko into the river like that? He hugged his knees tighter at that thought. He hadn't been able to find her. She'd been swept away by the strong current before he'd even splashed in after her.
Now they were deeper in the woods, in a cave, and Gojyo wouldn't wake up, even though Hakkai had closed his wounds. Goku stared at the tall redhead in misery. He was lying in the middle of the cave, his head supported by his brown jacket. His face was pale and his breathing harsh and shallow. Every once in a while, he would twitch and whimper, like he was trapped in a nightmare with no hope of escape.
Goku bit his lip, remembering a conversation they'd had at the last inn they'd been able to stay at.
"Tch. This sucks," Gojyo mutters. "Why do I always have to share a room with the stupid monkey?"
Goku lays quietly in the dark, disturbed by the other man's words. They both always complain when forced to share a room, but it's usually just good-natured squabbling. This time, though, Gojyo sounds serious.
"…Oi, Gojyo, is sharing a room with me really that bad?"
"Hn. You snore, and you aren't a woman for me to snuggle against."
Goku silently considers this. He's never heard himself snore, so he doesn't know if it's really a problem. And there's nothing he can do about not being a woman. He wonders why Gojyo is so obsessed with women, why he sleeps around so much. But wondering doesn't bring answers, so he asks, "Why do you sleep around so much anyway?"
"When I was little, our house was small, so I had to share a bed with my older brother. It made me feel… safe, you know? Anyway, that was a long time ago, but I still don't sleep well unless I'm touching someone else's skin."
Goku thinks about that for a while. Then he gets up and crosses to the other side of the room, crawling into bed with Gojyo.
"Oi, what the hell do you think you're doing?" the other man asks, rising up on his elbows.
"Shut up and go to sleep, cockroach," Goku murmurs, cuddling against him and draping an arm across his waist. As he drifts off to sleep, he drowsily thinks that this must be what it feels like to be a puppy warmly curled up with a littermate.
"Sanzo, we need more wood and water," Goku said suddenly. The little fire set up near Gojyo wouldn't last through the rest of the night, and they hadn't stocked up much on water before leaving the river.
The monk looked up from cleaning his gun and grunted. "If you want to go get some, go ahead. Just don't go off too far on your own."
Goku hesitated a moment before speaking again. "I was wondering… if maybe you and Hakkai could do it."
Sanzo looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"Please?"
"Keh, useless monkey," Sanzo muttered, putting his gun away and standing up. "Come on, Hakkai, we've got work to do."
"Hm?" Hakkai blinked and looked up from Gojyo's comatose form. "What was that, Sanzo?"
Sanzo grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet. "We need more water and firewood."
"But-" Hakkai started to protest, clearly not wanting to leave his best friend's side.
"If that idiot kappa dies, it'll be because he's too weak to live," Sanzo said bluntly, ignoring the brunet youkai's cold, angry glare. "Your presence isn't going to have any impact on that. Water and a well-maintained fire will help him though, especially if he develops a fever."
Hakkai took a deep, calming breath and nodded jerkily. "Yes, you're right about that, Sanzo. Let's go."
Once they were gone, Goku crawled over to Gojyo and snuggled up against him. He didn't know if it would help, but it couldn't hurt. Maybe Gojyo would come back to them if he felt safe.
He is a child again. He's on the floor, blood dripping from the twin slashes across his cheek as he watches her raise the axe. At first he's frightened, but then a sense of peace fills him. It's okay for her to kill him, because then she'll stop crying. His death is the only gift he can give her to make her happy.
"You were going to let that woman kill you," she says accusingly.
He looks up at her in confusion. Something isn't right. She's supposed to try to kill him, and then Jien will…. He shies away from that thought. It's already different. Maybe this time things will go the way they should have. Maybe this time he will die, and Mother will live.
"You gave your death to me, it's mine!" she shouts. "How dare you try to give it to that woman!"
She starts to bring the axe down. Then she falls, and Jien is the one crying now. He doesn't know what to feel as he looks up at his older brother. Gratitude, resentment, love, hatred, despair, and hope all tangle together inside of him. He's been saved, but now he'll never be able to win her love. He'll never be able to make her happy.
Then Jien leaves him, and he's alone. Why is he always so alone? Why-
He blinks and finds himself on the branch of a sakura tree. He looks down into a pond and can clearly see another sakura tree. A dark-haired man in black leather with his face sits in the branches of the other tree. At first, he thinks the man is his father, but that can't be. This man looks human, except for the bracketed chakra on his forehead.
He stands up on the branch and looks more intently at the pond and the man within. He suddenly knows that if he falls into the calm water, he'll break something that was never meant to be broken.
He leans forward, closing his eyes as he falls toward the pond….
…He's on the floor, looking up at Mother as she raises the axe. He accepts his coming death while a small voice franticly screams that his death won't be the result of this. He has to stop her before…. She falls to the ground, and Jien cries….
…It's the night before Mother tries to kill him. He's in bed, and the terrible creaking and moaning from the next room has finally ceased. Jien slips into bed beside him, smelling like her, and he curls up against his older brother, feeling safe even though Jien has been acting a little weird lately.
Jien pets his hair and…. He doesn't want to think about this. It never happened….
He's in the sakura tree again, looking down at the dark-haired man with his face. He gets to his feet and jumps. Maybe this time he'll hit the water and come out on the other side, where the dark-haired man waits….
…He's on the floor, looking up at Mother as she raises the axe. Despair fills him because he knows that it will always be the same. There is nothing he can do to change what will happen next.
He closes his eyes, not wanting to see her die again. Then a familiar scent that doesn't belong fills the air. He frowns and opens his eyes, watching in disbelief as cute little monkeys fill the room.
Most of them climb onto Mother, burying her under a pile of soft fur, but one golden-eyed monkey comes to him. He clings to the tiny animal like a lifeline, breathing in the scent of the little brother of his soul, who will always love him, no matter what, because the monkey loves everyone, even worthless, pathetic little mutts like him.
Gojyo moaned in pain as he slowly opened his eyes. His head felt like Hakuryu had run over it a few times in jeep form.
"Fuck," he croaked hoarsely. What the hell had happened?
The warm weight curled against him shifted, and Goku was suddenly in his face, his golden eyes bright with relief. "Gojyo, you're awake!"
Gojyo blinked up at Goku in confusion, trying to figure out why he was lying under the monkey with a splitting headache. The first thought to pop into his battered head was unlikely, but he blurted it out anyway. "Please tell me you didn't get me drunk and try to have your way with me."
Goku stared at him in horror, his nose wrinkling in disgust at the thought. "EEEEEEEEWWW! You perverted jackass, don't say things like that! I've been really worried about you!"
Gojyo winced at the volume. "Heh. Sorry, kid. Not so loud, okay?" His memories of what had happened with Retsuko slowly swam back to the surface. He closed his eyes as he remembered the gunshot he'd heard right before passing out. "Sanzo shot her, didn't he?"
"He saved your life, you know," Goku pointed out quietly.
Gojyo sighed heavily and opened his eyes. "Why are people always killing beautiful women to save my worthless hide?" he muttered.
"Huh?"
"Nothing." He slowly sat up as Goku got off of him and looked around. They were in a cave with no one else in sight. "Where's Kyoko?"
Goku hugged his knees to his chest and looked down. "Retsuko knocked her into the river."
"Sanzo and Hakkai have taken her to a doctor, right?" he demanded. He didn't like Goku's tone and posture. Either Kyoko was seriously injured or….
No! he thought harshly. She's not dead, damn it. I got between them to save her. If she's dead then it's my fault for being too much of a fucking pussy-whipped asshole to even put up a fight against someone else's crazy stepmom.
Sorrow-filled eyes rose to meet his. "I couldn't find her, Gojyo. I looked and looked, but I couldn't find her!"
"Shit," he said softly. He reached out to ruffle the monkey's hair, knowing that the kid was blaming himself. "It's not your fault, Goku." It's mine. Just like every other shitty thing that's happened in my life. "She tried to stop her mom, didn't she?"
Goku looked away and didn't say anything, which was answer enough. Gojyo closed his eyes again, thinking of all of the women who had died so that he would live.
Mom, Houran, Kougyoku, and now Retsuko and Kyoko. I guess Houran died for all of us, but she was put into that situation because she couldn't bring herself to kill a fellow child of taboo.
Without really realizing what he was doing, he reached into his pocket for a ponytail holder and started combing his fingers through his hair. His eyes snapped open, and he jerked his hands away from his head in disgust at the feel of matted blood.
"Eeew…. Damn it, I need a shower," he grumbled. He also needed a cigarette, which was easily obtained. He pulled one out of the nearly full pack in his pocket and lit it. He needed to think of something to distract both himself and the monkey. "So, why exactly were you lying on me, anyway?"
Goku looked at him, relieved by the change of topic. "Hakkai closed your wounds, but you wouldn't wake up, an' you kept twitching and making noises like you were having really bad dreams. I remembered what you told me about sleeping with other people touching you, so I thought maybe it would help if I curled up against you. I even got Sanzo and Hakkai to go after wood and water, 'cause I didn't think you'd like it if they saw me do it."
"Nn." Gojyo sucked in a lungful of smoke, holding it a moment before blowing it out in a thin stream. Then he flashed Goku a lopsided grin. "Thanks, little monkey. Remind me to get you a banana the next time we get to a town I can actually go in."
Goku scowled. "Don't call me a monkey, you stupid kappa!" He tilted his head thoughtfully. "I do want the banana though."
Gojyo laughed, sending a spike of increased pain through his head. "Ow, shit, don't make me laugh, chimp, it hurts."
Goku leaned toward him suddenly and hugged him. "I'm really glad you woke up, Gojyo."
The redhead snorted and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Stupid monkey."
Kougaiji looked up into the branches of a tree and sighed in exasperation. One of the long-distance dragons had been tied to the trunk, and his little sister was curled up on a branch, sound asleep. She had run off shortly after her bedtime, thinking no one would notice she was missing so late at night.
"What did I do to deserve this," he muttered to himself.
Dokugakuji chuckled. "Little siblings are a handful, aren't they?" he said with a bittersweet smile as he thought of his own younger sibling. "They're worth the trouble they cause, though."
"Yeah," Kougaiji agreed, smiling up the sleeping girl. "Though I bet you never had to pull yours out of a tree in the middle of the night."
The swordsman grinned. "That's what you think. One night, Gojyo got a hold of enough sugar to kill a small animal and ran off into the woods naked. By the time I found him, he was up in a tree, pretending to be a monkey."
The dragon whimpered pathetically, catching their attention. Kougaiji frowned at the animal. "Could you take him to the river for some water while Yaone and I get Lirin down?"
"Sure thing, Kou," the other man responded, untying the dragon.
He led the thirsty animal through a tangle of bushes, stopping abruptly when he got a good look at the water. The moon was full and bright, clearly illuminating the lazy patch of river. A log slowly floated by, a small, red-haired child clinging to it weakly.
Dokugaku dropped the dragon's lead rope and rushed into the water. The little girl looked up at the sound of splashing, and he was confronted with the achingly familiar sight of despondent red eyes staring at him from a child's battered face. Then those eyes slid shut as she lost her grip and sank away into the water.