The Taste of Crimson

Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all associated characters were created by Minekura Kazuya. I am making no money from this and am merely using the characters and setting for storytelling purposes.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter posted and for the shortness of it. I've got a sick ferret who's going in for surgery on October 10, and that's distracted me from writing.

Warning: There's a disturbing flashback to Dokugaku and Gojyo's childhoods at one point in this chapter.

Sanzo and Goku had made it to the inn only moments before the rain started. Now the monk was in his room, taking a deep drag from his cigarette as he gazed out the window, slowly losing himself in his memories.

Heartrending loss and feelings of worthlessness filled him, as intense now as a decade ago, when he had failed to protect the most important person in his life. He could almost feel his master's blood on him again and the agony of his soul trying to follow the man into death.

As he descended into ever-increasing melancholy, something tugged at his awareness, the unusualness of it enough to catch his interest. What the hell? he thought with a frown, suddenly able to clearly feel Gojyo from down the hall. The half-breed had enough of a youkai aura to be identified as one, but he had always felt strangely muffled, like part of his power was tucked away. Now that muffled feeling was gone.

Enhanced strength, speed, and reflexes plus the ability to summon a weapon were the only aspects of his youkai heritage that Gojyo had ever revealed, but Sanzo had long suspected he could do more. What had happened to make him suddenly unleash his hidden power? A problem with humans wouldn't have caused that kind of reaction, and Sanzo didn't sense any youkai other than his three companions.

As long as it didn't affect him in any way, the blond was usually content to let them do whatever the hell they wanted. In this case, though, finding out what was going on with Gojyo would provide a much-needed distraction from his rain-induced depression. That was just motivation enough for Sanzo to take one last drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray and heading out of his room to investigate.

He gave a perfunctory knock, barging into the room in time to see Gojyo slither out the window while Hakkai frantically called his name. The brunet rushed to the window and put his hands on the sill, looking like he was about to go out into the storm after his friend.

"Your nagging is annoying as hell, but I never thought it'd actually make someone dive out a window to escape," Sanzo commented dryly. He knew that wasn't what had happened, but it would hopefully cure Hakkai of his temporary stupidity.

Hakkai glanced over his shoulder at Sanzo's words, automatically masking his worry with a cheerful smile. "Ah-ha-ha…. I'm afraid it's a bit more serious than that, Sanzo. He started using youkai powers he's never exhibited before, and I believe they've overwhelmed him."

"Shit." Sanzo sighed wearily and rubbed at the space between his eyes.

Maybe those superstitious morons who consider children of taboo bad luck are right after all, he thought. That idiot has more than his share of craptastic luck, and it tends to rub off on those around him.

"Sanzo!" Goku's voice called out just as the monk turned to leave the room. The boy skidded to a halt at the doorway, Nyoi-bo out and clutched in both hands. "I'm sensing some weird energy. Are we about to be attacked?" he asked eagerly.

"No," Sanzo said. The monkey slumped in disappointment, his weapon vanishing. "The energy you're feeling is your fellow moron running around in the rain, using youkai powers he never bothered to tell anyone he had."

Goku immediately perked up. "Gojyo has powers? Cool! Let's go find him!"

Sanzo sighed and followed as Goku raced off toward the front door, Hakkai quickly outpacing them both.

The rain swirled and danced for him like a live thing, glowing with soft silver light as it drank down his power. It was gradually getting harder to breathe, but he didn't notice, too absorbed in listening to the song of the rain. It was the most hauntingly beautiful thing he'd ever heard. A song of sorrow, but also of freedom and fierce, wild joy.

As he knelt there in the mud, his heart and smoke-abused lungs struggled to keep him alive. He had forced his powers into dormancy before they were fully developed. Now they had awakened at full potency, and it was more than his half-human body could handle. He watched and listened to the rain with a dreamy smile, his system beginning to shut down.

Hakkai quickly spotted the small patch of glowing rain. Gojyo hadn't gotten very far. He was only a few yards from the inn, on his knees in the mud while silvery rain twisted and writhed around him in a complex pattern. He seemed fine, but Hakkai's unease grew as he ran toward his best friend, Goku and Sanzo only a few steps behind.

"Gojyo?" he called tentatively, coming to a stop a few feet from where the redhead knelt. Gojyo slowly looked over his shoulder at him, his eyes glowing like the fiery pits of hell while his hair practically stood on end, the strands twitching and twining in reaction to his power.

Goku brushed past Hakkai and stuck his hand into the winding path of a swatch of rain. The silver drops hit his hand and slid across his skin, continuing the pattern. Goku grinned down at Gojyo and laughed. "Really pretty, but kinda lame. Your powers would be so totally useless in a fight."

Gojyo glared at him, the rain under his influence reacting to his anger and flinging itself at Goku. The teenager laughed at the ineffective attack, but abruptly turned serious when the rain suddenly went back to normal, the silver glow, plus the red glow of Gojyo's eyes, fading while his hair settled back down. The redhead gasped vainly for air, then keeled over into the mud.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai cried, shoving Goku out of the way and dropping to his knees at his friend's side. He grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, only vaguely aware of Sanzo kneeling beside him to check for a pulse in Gojyo's wrist.

"He's dead," the monk announced in disbelief and anger, almost as if he suspected Gojyo had dropped dead just to annoy him.

That really would be a very Gojyo thing to do, Hakkai thought inanely. Then he roughly shook his head to clear it, shifting Gojyo to lay flat on his back.

Don't you dare die on me! he thought, holding the other man's nose shut before covering his mouth with his own and blowing twice, forcing air into the redhead's lungs.

He pulled back and put his hands over Gojyo's chest, sending chi into him as he began the set of thirty compressions. "One, two, three…"

Dokugakuji sat near the campfire, listening uneasily to the sound of distant thunder. Something felt wrong, and he hoped his friends were all right. Kougaiji, Yaone, and Lirin had gone back to Houtou Castle, leaving him to take care of Kyoko. The girl had told them about the Village of Taboo, but even if she had known the exact location, Yaone didn't want her moving around much for at least a week.

The healer had originally planned to stay with her, but Dokugaku had requested that it be him. The first time had been for the best, but he couldn't bring himself to once again abandon a defenseless half-breed child.

He shuddered as he remembered that night, roughly ten years ago, when his own sick actions had destroyed the last shred of his poor mother's sanity, driving her to take an axe to an innocent little boy.

He staggers to his room, feeling dirty and sick. He hates what she makes him do with her, but it's the only way to calm her down. He slips into bed with his little brother, the boy turning to snuggle against him.

He pets the child's hair and holds him close, breathing in the familiar scent of little boy, rain, and cigarettes. He knows he should keep the boy from smoking, but he suspects nicotine highs are one of the few things that allow him to cope with the constant abuse. He also knows he should keep Gojyo's hair short like his own so Mother can't grab him as easily, but red has always been his favorite color, and he can't bring himself to cut the pretty scarlet locks.

His hand shifts from his brother's hair, trailing lightly down Gojyo's back before sliding under his shirt. He thinks of what Mother makes him do as he slowly caresses the boy's warm skin.

She says she does those things to him and makes him touch her like that because she loves him. He doesn't think she really loves him, and he knows he doesn't love her, though he wants to. She clings to him because he's the only thing left from her old life, and he tries desperately to love her because of who she used to be. That woman died with his father, and he is beginning to accept that nothing will ever bring her back.

The only one who has really loved him, purely and unconditionally, since that night twelve years ago is the child in his arms. What if Mother is right? What if the things they do in her bedroom really are things you should do with the people you love? Part of him knows it isn't right, but he can't seem to stop himself from closing his eyes and slowly kissing his brother.

The boy squirms, and he rolls, pinning Gojyo under him as he slides his tongue into his small mouth. Maybe sex won't feel so dirty and wrong if it's with someone he truly loves.

He hears a sound and pulls away from the boy under him, looking out into the hallway beyond the partially open door. He doesn't see anything, but he knows Mother must have been there, watching.

He looks back at his little brother, intending to continue where he left off, but he's frozen by the look in the crimson eyes staring up at him. Confusion and, beyond that, utter trust. He feels sick, suddenly certain that what he tried to do is wrong and equally certain that Gojyo would have let him do it. He knows then that he can do anything to his brother, even kill him, and the boy won't protest or try to stop him.

"What's wrong, Jien?"

He swallows hard. "Nothing, kid," he says hoarsely, rolling back onto his side and hugging Gojyo tightly. "Just go back to sleep, okay?"

"…Okay."

Dokugaku took a deep, shuddering breath. The next day, his mother had seemed calmer than usual, and he had left the house, trying to sort things out. He'd come home just in time to kill his mother to keep her from murdering Gojyo. Then he ran away, confused and sure of only one thing: his dear little brother would be better off without him.

Some day, I have to tell him why I abandoned him like that, he thought. There was another crash of thunder from the west, and Dokugaku suddenly had the chilling feeling that he might never get the chance.

He is somewhere cold and gray. It's barren and featureless except for a bright spot of light. He has nothing better to do, so he walks toward it. It grows gradually larger, and he eventually sees a figure standing in the light. As he gets closer, the figure is revealed as a pretty human woman with long black hair and bright green eyes. She smiles at him, and it's a familiar sight. He's seen that same smile reflected back at him in the mirror.

He steps back from her in confusion, his thoughts acknowledging who she must be while his emotions violently reject the label his mind gives her.

She isn't my mother, he denies.

"Come with me, Gojyo," she says, holding out her hand to him.

"Who are you?" he demands harshly.

"Your mother. I'm here to lead you on to the next life."

"No!" hi insists, shaking his head. "Maybe you gave birth to me, but that doesn't make you my mother. It just makes you a stupid bitch who didn't have the guts to kill me before I could be born."

"Gojyo-" she begins, her voice and expression filled with pain and sympathy.

"No." The cold denial that cuts her off isn't his. He feels a tug on his hair, and suddenly he's a child again, looking up at the youkai woman who is the only parent he's ever known. "This filthy thing isn't mine, but he is my husband's, so I will never let him be yours!"

The human woman's eyes narrow. "Ignore her, Gojyo, she's just a memory. She can't hurt you anymore." She holds out her hand again. "Come with me, baby. It's time to move on from this pain-filled life."

His mother releases her grip on his hair, letting him chose between her and the woman who bore him. He takes a hesitant step toward the human and her tempting offer of escape from his miserable life, but then stops and looks back at his mother. She's crying, just like always. He can't just leave her when she's crying.

"Mom?" He hesitantly reaches out to touch her arm, yelping in surprise and fear when she grabs him. He relaxes as she pulls him into a hug, her long nails slashing his back over and over again. It hurts, but he doesn't care. He's used to pain, and it's worth it to feel her arms around him.

She laughs bitterly. "You're a spirit, and I'm just a memory, but I still have more of a hold over your worthless brat," she says to the other woman. "You took everything from me. I took your boy and damaged him beyond repair."

"Come on, Gojyo, breathe! You can't leave me!"

He blinks and pulls away from his mother, not really noticing as he becomes an adult again while the memory image of his stepmother fades away. "Hakkai?"

He frowns. Of course he can't leave Hakkai. Hakkai needs him. His friend needs to be needed, and he desperately needs Hakkai so he won't be alone. Behind him, his birth mother smiles sadly and vanishes, taking the light with her.

Hakkai put his mouth over Gojyo's again, blowing air into the other man. "Come on, Gojyo, breathe!" he said, going back to the chest compressions. "You can't leave me!"

"He's gone, Hakkai," Sanzo said quietly. Hakkai ignored him, pouring more of his chi into his friend to replace the energy he'd lost while using his reawakened powers. "Damn it, stop, Hakkai! There's nothing else you can do."

"Shut up!" the normally calm man snarled, almost losing count. Part of him knew Sanzo was right, but he couldn't just give up. He couldn't just helplessly watch again while someone he cared about died.

Sanzo cursed and grabbed him, pulling him away from Gojyo's body. He viciously shoved his elbow back into the blond's ribs, immediately dropping back to his knees when he was released. He started mouth-to-mouth again, pulling away when he felt sudden resistance.

Gojyo coughed, finally breathing on his own again. His eyes slowly opened. "Jeez, Hakkai," he said weakly, "couldn't you've found a hot chick to do the smooching back to life thing? My mouth is gonna taste like dude for the rest of the night."

Hakkai smiled and laughed shakily. "Next time, I'll just let you die while hunting for a pretty girl to revive you."

Gojyo grinned up at him. "Yeah, you do that."

Sanyin sat in the unused library within her clan's fortress, considering her options. Capturing Heniao's prey would be simple enough, just open a portal to the Shadowed Ways and drag him through before his companions could react, but that didn't seem like the best course of action. Countless youkai had died because they had underestimated the Sanzo Party. Sanyin didn't intend to become one of them.

She looked up as Heniao burst into the library, clearly agitated. "My bond with the prey was temporarily broken."

"He was dead, but revived before your connection could be permanently severed," the silver-haired youkai calmly hypothesized.

"We need to do something before those idiots he travels with manage to kill him again!" Heniao insisted, pacing angrily.

Sanyin smiled. "Don't worry, dear cousin, you've given me the perfect idea."

Heniao stopped pacing and blinked. "What do you mean? What's your plan?"

"Tomorrow night, we attack. We'll lose on purpose and make them think you're dead. Then, the next time your prey is alone, collecting him will be quite easy."

Sanyin smiled again. It really was a lovely plan, especially since the simplest way to convince the Sanzo Party that Heniao was dead was for her to truly die.