I woke up feeling sharp pains in my lower stomach I threw the covers off of me and checked the clock it was 3 in the morning. I looked over to see if Drake had come home but the bed was empty I tried to stand up but it hurt so bad I look over and saw a huge red spot where I was laying.

"Josh! Josh! Help! Josh!"

I yelled from the top of my lungs afraid to move.

"Josh!"

Josh came running in and knelled down by my side.

"What's wrong?"

"Something's wrong I'm bleeding badly."

"I'm going to call an ambulance."

"Where's Drake I need him."

"What an idiot." Josh mumbled under his breath. He was probably so sick of taking care of me and filling in for Drake.

Josh walked back in to the room and picked me up like a baby cradling me and carrying me down the stairs.

"I'm so sorry Josh. You should have to take care of me all the time." I apologized though tears.

"Ash I love you your one of my closest friends I will be there for you when ever you need me."

The ambulance showed up shortly after and we were driven to the hospital.

I blacked out from the blood lose and woke up to drake crying by my bed side.

"What happened?"

"You lost the baby." He said sobbing Josh was sitting in the corner with his hands over his face.

I didn't want to deal with this I was so tired I just rolled on my side and shut my eyes. I was so disconnected with the world my body was there but not me it wasn't me. I was so sad for someone I didn't know yet. But in my head I thought maybe this is the way it was supposed to be me and Drake went ready we had so much life to live and there would be a better time to settle down.

I slept a few more hours until I heard drake get up to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I just need to go for a walk."

"I need you Drake."

"Ash I don't know I just need to get out of here I hate hospitals."

"Okay."

I rolled back over and cried, I cried myself to sleep.

I was allowed to go home the next day Josh came to pick me up Drake was at the studio he said he would lose the money he used to reserve it. I didn't say much to josh just thank you, I didn't want to make things awkward between us, especially now that Drake would be leaving for his tour in a few days.

We finally reached the house I just got out of the car and went right to the bath room and took a shower I smelled like sick people. I got dressed and went down the stairs to sit on the couch. I had a lot of time to think I couldn't sleep last night and I decided I needed Drake I had this huge empty hole when he wasn't around and I was going to do anything I had to, to make this work.

I called him on his cell but no one answered I kept myself busy cleaning the house and cooking a huge dinner even though I was the only one home. I waited up for Drake to come home I needed to talk to him. I heard a car pull up to the drive way it was two in the morning. I waited a few minutes for someone to walk through the door but nothing happened. I peeked my head outside to see who it was. I opened the door quietly hearing a girl giggle. My heart stopped beating when my eyes came across Drake making out with a girl and I mean a girl she couldn't have even been seventeen. I didn't say anything and they didn't even notice me because they were so engorged in each other, I just started to cry. Drake looked over at me and stumbled over my way.

"Hey baby. Why are you up so late?" He slurred forcing the words out of his mouth.

"Drake what were you going to do bring her in our house? What were you going to do fuck her on the couch while I was sleeping up stairs?"

"No baby you know I love you."

"Yeah I can see that. Come on lets go in the house."

The girl stared in awl while trying to hide the guilt on her face.

"Baby you know I love you? You know I never slept with another girl while I was with you?"

"What are you on?" I said throw my gritted teeth I wanted to pull my hair out I wanted to pull her hair out. I wanted this to be all her fault.

He laughed off the question stumbling up the stairs to our bedroom.

"Why aren't you mad?"

"Why should I yell at you now you'll just forget in the morning? Look, don't go anywhere tomorrow and if you do leave without talking to me first I'm gone. I'm not kidding by the time you come home I'll already be in Jersey."

I sat on the couch not able to sleep because my brain was running a thousand miles a minute. I fucking love him I love him so much it hurts. What's wrong with me? Why is okay in my mind to have him going out and cheat on me? Why would I forgive him right this moment? I was to tired to analyze myself.

Just as I was walking up the stairs Josh walked in the door.

"Hey Ash what are you doing up? Waiting for Drake?"

"No… he's already in bed."

"Really?"

"Yeah he came home about an hour ago high on something with a girl. I found them making out next to the stairs."

I couldn't hold back my tears or my feelings anymore I felt hurt, confused, betrayed, and worse of all not myself. Josh took me in his arms and held me speaking to me softly.

"Ash your such a good person… You don't deserve this… Why can't he see what I see?" He talked to me for about 45 minutes. I never felt so loved or cared for as I did in those 45 minutes. Finally he told me I should go to bed if where going to deal with this problem in the morning.

"Can I stay in your room? So many things have happened and I don't want to be in there with him I just might kill him."

"Sure."

Josh draped his arm over my shoulder as we walked up the stairs together. I snuggled in bed with him it didn't feel awkward it was like climbing in bed with your best friend at a sleep over. I put my head on Josh's chest; Josh put his arms around my back as we fell asleep.

Please review I don't know if you guys like it or not… Definitely would like some ideas or if you like the direction I'm putting it in!