The Taste of Crimson

Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all associated characters were created by Minekura Kazuya. I am making no money from this and am merely using the characters and setting for storytelling purposes.

Author's Note: In the manga there are a couple of non-story line splash pages that show Dokugaku smoking. I'm assuming this means he's a casual smoker.

Warning: Disturbing, but non-explicit, things happening to a child.

Gojyo stumbled along through the woods behind his companions, fuzzily contemplating death; either his own or Sanzo's. His mouth felt like something furry had crawled in it and died while the bright afternoon sun stabbed at his eyes even through the sunglasses he'd snagged from Goku. His head was pounding hard enough to make him nauseous and the goddamn monk was whistling loudly. The evil bastard knew he had a hangover.

"If you don't shut the hell up, I'm gonna fuckin' hurl all over you," Gojyo muttered around a cigarette.

The whistling stopped abruptly as Sanzo turned toward him with a narrow-eyed glare. "Try it, roach boy."

"Eeww! Gojyo, that's nasty!" Goku said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

Gojyo winced, hissing slightly at the volume. Well, at least we aren't moving anymore, he thought in misery. They'd been walking through the woods all damn day after being forced awake at the asscrack of dawn by the sadistic monk.

"Shut it, monkey boy," he growled, his bloodshot glare in the kid's direction hidden by the sunglasses. His hangovers usually only lasted a couple of hours, but this one had made itself at home and apparently had no intention of leaving anytime soon. Part of the reason was probably due to only getting about two hours of sleep.

"Why don't you make me, nasty kappa roach?" Goku taunted, his voice still obnoxiously loud.

"Now, now, you two, please settle down," Hakkai cut in soothingly.

"Hn. We've been walking over eight damn hours. How long until we get to the village?" Sanzo asked.

"Ah-ha-ha… well, you see…" Hakkai began, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

Sanzo sighed. "Damn it, we're lost, aren't we?" he grumbled in irritation.

"Ah, yes," Hakkai admitted cheerfully. "A detailed map would be nice, but all we have to work with is a circle in the middle of the woods."

Gojyo blinked, fuzzy memories of the night before floating up to the surface of his mind. "More detailed map…" he muttered. Then he reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out the map he'd won from the half-breed woman. He'd already been pretty wasted when she'd shown up, but that hadn't been enough to impair his gambling skills.

He unfolded the sheet of paper and squinted at it. It showed a few game trails, a cliff wall, and something that looked like a giant rock. Or possibly a sea monster. He turned it around a couple of times, trying to figure it out, then noticed the writing in one of the corners.

Gojyo,

Give the map to Hakkai, dumbass.

Love,

Reishu

"Keh," he snorted and held the map out toward his friend. "Yo, Hakkai, I think this might help."

Hakkai took the paper, frowning slightly as he studied it. "Where did you get this?"

"Won it off a redheaded chick. I think I told you about her." He vaguely remembered it, along with something weird about turning into a woman.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us you had that?" Sanzo asked irritably.

"Ah… I forgot," Gojyo said, bracing himself for what he knew was coming. God, this is gonna hurt.

"You for…" the monk growled. He twitched, the vein in his forehead pulsing slightly. "Useless moron!" He pulled out the fan and smacked Gojyo upside the head with it a couple of times.

"Goddamn bitchy monk!" the redhead snarled. He immediately regretted it. He barely managed to dart over to some bushes and drop to his knees before spitting out his Hi-Lite and throwing up. Someone, probably Hakkai, knelt beside him and pulled his hair back so it wouldn't get messy.

"Kyuu?" A scaly head rubbed against his cheek, followed by a small tongue.

"Guh…hah…." Gojyo reached up and scratched under Hakuryu's chin with one hand while wiping at his mouth with the other.

"We should find a good place to rest up and have lunch, Sanzo," Hakkai said. "It wouldn't be fair to make the villagers feed Goku any more than necessary. Plus it will give me a chance to study this map."

Sanzo sighed and lit a cigarette. "All right," he finally agreed after taking a long drag. "And see if you can do something about that idiot's hangover. He deserves it, but at this rate, he probably will end up puking on me. Then I'd have to kill him, and I'd have to carry around two lighters."

"Keh." Gojyo slowly got to his feet and glanced at the monk. "And we can't have the great and wonderful Master Sanzo inconvenienced," he drawled sarcastically.

"Damn straight," Sanzo said. He smirked and blew smoke in the other man's face before turning to lead the hunt for a short-term camp site.

The break took longer than Sanzo was happy with, but it served its purpose. The monkey was temporarily sated, Gojyo was no longer suffering the well-deserved effects of his drunken binge, and Hakkai had figured out the map.

Or at least that was what the brunet youkai had claimed. Sanzo doubted it briefly when they reached a dead end at the base of a cliff. Then he felt the telltale energy signature of an illusion barrier.

"Hm. The map shows this as our destination," Hakkai said, frowning slightly. His expression suddenly turned thoughtful. "Of course, Reishu did say-"

He was cut off by Gojyo's low whistle of appreciation. "Damn, this place is impressive," he said, looking at the cliff face with obvious admiration.

Goku laughed at him. "It's just a cliff, Gojyo. You're so lame sometimes."

Gojyo looked at him incredulously. "Teacher," he called out in a singsong tone. "The monkey needs to see the nurse. His case of stupid just got a lot worse."

"You take that back, pervy kappa!" Goku demanded, scowling.

"Why don't you make me, tiny chimp?" the redhead taunted.

Sanzo tuned them out, focusing on the solid wall of rock before them. As he concentrated, the image wavered slightly, showing a hint of the reality behind the illusion.

"Gojyo, what do you see?" he asked, cutting into the moronic argument.

"Eh?" the kappa blinked at him, then his eyes widened slightly in sudden comprehension. He had his moments of colossal idiocy, but in general, he was able to catch onto things fairly quickly. Well, quicker than Goku anyway, which wasn't saying much. "A hugeass wooden wall with a buncha giant trees behind it."

"Huh?" Goku looked back and forth between the cliff, Gojyo, and Sanzo, utterly bewildered. "Am I the only one who sees a cliff?" he asked unhappily. He couldn't stand being left out of things.

"No," Sanzo answered shortly. "I see a cliff because I'm human. You and Hakkai see a cliff because you're youkai."

"But Gojyo's a youkai too," Goku protested, still confused. "How come he sees something different? Is it because he's a nasty pervert?"

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "Half human, dork brain, remember?" He rapped his knuckles against the monkey's head, clicking his tongue a couple of times to simulate the sound of something hollow. "That's why I've been persona non grata around these parts."

"Persa what?"

"It means an unwelcome person, Goku," Hakkai said, slipping easily into teacher mode. "Though it's the youkai half that's making Gojyo unwelcome, not the human."

"Nn. Yeah, well, whatever," Gojyo mumbled uncomfortably, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at the ground.

Sanzo grunted softly and turned his attention back to the illusion. He'd be glad when they were out of the region. Despite his myriad other flaws, Gojyo was pretty good at keeping his fucked up issues to himself, where they belonged, when his mixed heritage and shitty childhood weren't constantly being shoved in his face.

"Hey, shit for brains, if it doesn't interfere too much with your little angst fest, think you could, oh, I don't know, maybe tell us if there's a way in?" he asked.

Gojyo glared at him. "Asshole," he muttered. Then he glanced around. "Ah, yeah."

The half-breed strode toward the cliff and grabbed a vine, tugging hard. There were several loud bird calls, but, since he knew it was illusion, Sanzo was able to just barely make out the ringing of a bell.

A few minutes later, there was a rustling sound from a tree near the cliff. Sanzo tensed, only relaxing slightly when Reishu jumped down from the tree, the two thin braids behind her ears bouncing as she landed.

"I suppose you boys want in?" she asked unhappily.

Sanzo frowned slightly, studying her body language. She was tense and agitated, and clearly didn't want them around. Which didn't make any sense, considering they never would have found the place if not for her map.

"No, we just thought we'd stand here like idiots and admire the scenery," he said sarcastically. Hakkai, no doubt, could have sweet talked her into a more welcoming mood, but the monk had always preferred riling people up if possible. It was faster.

The left side of her mouth quirked up in an evil little smile. "Well, in that case, I'll leave you to it." She turned toward the illusion barrier.

"Wait, Miss Reishu," Hakkai called, shooting Sanzo an exasperated look. "We would, indeed, like to enter your village. I believe you mentioned something about payment of some sort?"

Reishu turned back to face them, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yes, I did. I also said that I wouldn't push things if request gets turned down. After what happened yesterday, the deal has changed. If you boys want in, you have to agree to what I want."

"And if we don't?" Sanzo asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Then you can haul your asses right back the way you came to get equipment for traveling through the pass. It's a nasty and treacherous path, with a lot of narrow places where only one person can walk through at a time."

"Hn." Part of him wanted to just turn back without even hearing what she wanted, but an even larger part was dead set against any unnecessary delays. It couldn't hurt to at least hear her out. "What do you want?"

"I don't like humans or youkai," Reishu said bluntly.

"Lovely sentiment," Sanzo said dryly. "I don't like humans or youkai either. Or anything in between for that matter. What does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't like humans or youkai," she repeated, "but sometimes a woman likes a little… companionship now and then."

"Oh, hell no," Sanzo growled, just barely avoiding drawing his gun. Gojyo annoyed the hell out of him half the time – and the other half he was asleep – and seemed to get some sort of perverse pleasure out of pissing him off, but that didn't mean he was willing to whore the man out.

The subject of his thoughts laughed suddenly and moved in beside him, resting an elbow on his shoulder. "Aw, it's sweet of you to try to protect my virtue, but I'm willing to take one for the team in this case."

"Keh. Whatever," the monk muttered, shoving Gojyo away from him. "Whore yourself out for all I care."

"I'm not a whore," the redhead protested in indignation. Then he grinned cheerfully. "I'm a slut. Women would willingly pay for the Sha Gojyo experience, but I'm such a nice guy that I give it out for free."

Reishu laughed while Goku made gagging sounds. Sanzo sympathized with the monkey, wondering what power Gojyo had that made otherwise sensible women find him inexplicably charming.

"And would you 'give it for free' to someone like me despite my looks?" she asked, her single eye gleaming with both amusement and challenge.

"Hell, I'd do it because of your looks. Your hairstyle is a bit… um… unique, but you're pretty damn hot." She shot him a disbelieving look, and he continued. "Hey, I may have a lot of flaws, but hypocrisy ain't one of 'em. If I thought a few facial scars made a person hideous, I'd run around with a sack over my head, being as moody and bitter as the damn monk."

Reishu smiled softly, her eye locking on the barely noticeable lines half hidden behind his hair. Then she reached out to lightly pat him on the head. "You're a sweet kid. Come on." She turned and walked into the rock wall, vanishing from sight.

Gojyo winced slightly at being called a kid, but followed after her. He glanced over his shoulder at the rest of them. "Gate's open," he said before disappearing as well.

As they passed through the boundaries of the illusion barrier, Sanzo couldn't help being impressed. The wall was roughly eight feet thick and enveloped a place that looked more like a park than a village.

"Welcome to the Village of Taboo," Reishu said, giving them a moment to look around.

A couple of dozen or so children ranging from about four to twelve ran through a big grassy clearing and played in a pond while some older children and a few women kept an eye on them. Except for two large buildings at ground level near the gate, everything was built into the giant trees that surrounded the clearing.

"It's beautiful," Hakkai murmured in appreciation. He smiled warmly at Reishu. "It seems like a perfect place for children to grow up."

"There aren't enough adults to give them the individual attention they need, but we try our best to keep them happy and healthy," she said quietly.

A group of five children ran past, playing with a brightly colored ball. The child in control of the toy dropped it and froze when he saw the four strangers. The ball bounced toward them, slowing to a roll before coming to a stop at Sanzo's feet. He slowly knelt down and scooped it up, a little unnerved by all the bright crimson eyes staring at him in something close to fear.

Shit, he thought unhappily. Kids had a tendency to annoy him, but he didn't like the thought of a bunch of little brats being terrified of him.

The children shifted uneasily as he held the ball out, but none of them were brave enough to approach. Finally, a little girl, her long red hair pulled up in a pair of high pigtails, took a few steps toward him. She didn't come any closer though, and Sanzo was thinking of just handing the damn ball over to Reishu.

Then Gojyo dropped down into a squat beside him and patted him on the head. "Don't worry, princess, he's a good human. And I trained him myself, so he won't bite at all."

The girl giggled and darted forward, grabbing the ball before taking off with her friends.

"When we leave here, you are dead," Sanzo muttered as he stood up, glaring murderously at Gojyo.

"I know," the redhead chirped, straightening from his crouch and smirking at him. "But it was so fuckin' worth it."

"You guys are so weird," Reishu said, clearly amused.

Hakkai laughed. "Indeed. Ah, Miss Reishu, if you don't mind me asking, why were you so upset about us being here? You practically invited us the last time we met and then left a map for Gojyo."

She sighed wearily. "A youkai showed up yesterday. Said his name was Dokugakuji."

Gojyo made a small sound of dismay, but his expression was perfectly blank when Reishu glanced back at him. "You killed him?" he asked, his voice equally neutral.

Reishu cocked her head slightly. "No, actually. He was in control of himself, and the kid he was with got upset at the thought of him being hurt. He's sticking around until she's settled. He also said that he was going to wait and see if his little brother showed up. I'm assuming he was talking about you."

Gojyo nodded jerkily. "Heh. Yeah. He's not much of a brother, but he's mi- OOF!" He was cut off as something slammed into him, knocking him to the ground. The something turned out to be a very happy little girl. "K-Kyoko!"

"Kyoko, you're alive!" Goku shouted, practically squirming with joy.

"Doody head!" the little girl called out cheerfully.

"Eh?" Goku slumped in dejection. "Aw man, she's still calling me that."

Sanzo snorted and took the time to light a cigarette since it didn't seem like they'd be moving any time soon. He was glad the kid wasn't dead, of course, but he felt no need to express it. Dumb and Dumber were already fawning all over her, and even Hakkai was making his relief obvious.

"How'd you get here, kid?" Gojyo asked.

"I brought her." Dokugakuji stepped out from one of the large buildings and approached them. A half-breed woman followed, watching him warily. "Good to see you again, brat," he said, reaching down to affectionately ruffle Gojyo's hair.

"Hey, quit it, assface!" Gojyo growled, swiping at his brother's hand.

"Where are your friends?" Sanzo asked, tensing. Reishu had mentioned only Dokugaku, but if the others were anywhere in the vicinity, Lirin would no doubt show up. Being sat on by a hyperactive kitten child was not something he was looking forward to.

"Back at the castle as far as I know," Dokugaku answered. "I volunteered to bring Kyoko here while they headed home."

"Hn. I'm surprised you'd go out of your way to travel around with a little child of taboo kid," Gojyo muttered.

Dokugaku frowned and started to say something, but he was cut off by Kyoko.

"Gojyo, do you know when Mommy will be better and come to get me?" she asked.

He looked away, then took a deep breath and looked straight into her eyes. "She's-"

"She's dead," Sanzo said quietly. He had been the one to kill the woman; it was only right for him to be the one to tell her child.

Kyoko turned her head to stare at him in wide-eyed incomprehension. Then she pressed her face against Gojyo's chest and cried.

"I'm sorry, princess," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm so sorry."

One of the two ground-level buildings was a play room and communal bedroom for the younger children, the two sections separated by a curtain. Gojyo carried Kyoko into the sleeping area and settled her onto one of the small cots. It was only early evening, but the emotional trauma had worn her out.

Poor kid, he thought, tucking her in and gently stroking her hair. At least she'd been spared having to see her mother killed right in front of her. That would have fucked her up for a good long while, though she wouldn't have been left to fend for herself afterwards.

He heard a small sound and glanced over his shoulder. His brother was standing near the curtain, half hidden in the shadows of the nearly dark room. He had an odd expression, lost somewhere between sadness and affection.

"Gojyo," he said quietly. "Come with me for a bit. We need to talk."

Gojyo looked back at Kyoko. She wasn't going to wake up anytime soon, and when she did, it'd be better if one of the village women was with her. She was already attached enough to him that he was pretty sure it was going to break her heart when he had to leave.

"Nn. Sure," he said, giving the girl a soft kiss on the forehead before standing up. She was too deeply asleep to even notice, but it seemed wrong to just wander off without some sort of goodbye gesture.

He and Dokugaku left the nursery building, walking together in quiet companionship until they reached the pond. All of the children were in the other large building for dinner, leaving the area deserted except for the two of them as the sun began to slowly set.

"What did you want to talk about?" Gojyo asked, gazing to the west as he lit a Hi-Lite. The cigarette was almost immediately snatched from his mouth.

"Still smoking Mom's brand, huh?" Dokugaku said after a slow drag.

"Asshole," Gojyo muttered, taking another cigarette from his pack. Rather than getting his lighter out again, he leaned in toward his brother and held the tip of his cigarette against the one that'd been stolen from him. "I thought you quit or something."

"For the most part," Dokugaku said, blowing out a stream of smoke. "Every once in a while, I'll light up just to relax for a bit, though."

They were both silent for a few moments. Gojyo had no idea what Dokugaku wanted to talk to him about. He supposed most siblings would reminisce about their childhoods and talk about their lives. While there had been some good times, their shared past had been dominated by their mother and was filled with more painful memories than good. And as for talking about the present…. Well, they were technically enemies; they couldn't really tell each other what they'd been up to.

Dokugaku finally sighed and started to speak. "About what you said earlier…" His words trailed off, as if he was uncertain of what he wanted to say.

Gojyo winced slightly. "Yeah, man, sorry about that. It hurt being left behind with her corpse, but I understand why you did it. You were only eighteen, little more than a kid really, and you'd just killed your own mother. You couldn't deal, so you took off."

"That's… that's not why I left you behind," Dokugaku said quietly.

"…oh." Gojyo had often wondered if he'd been abandoned because his brother couldn't stand the thought of being around him anymore. He couldn't blame him, it was his fault Mom had gone insane and made their lives hell, but he wasn't particularly happy to have it confirmed.

"I regret that I had to kill her, but I don't regret the actual deed. Your life was more precious to me than hers, and if I had to do it again, I would. I'd also leave you behind again. I couldn't trust myself around you anymore, not after what I did to you the night before that."

"Er… what?" Gojyo asked, glancing at him uneasily. He didn't know what the hell Dokugaku was talking about, but it made him feel uncomfortable.

"You don't remember." Dokugaku closed his eyes, clearly struggling with something.

Gojyo almost told him to just let it go, that there was no point in stirring up memories that were safely buried away, but the other man obviously did remember whatever it was and needed to talk about it.

Dokugaku took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "Mom wanted to kill you that day because she saw me try to molest you the night before," he said bluntly.

"…That's not fucking funny, Jien," Gojyo said shakily, rattled enough he slipped and used his brother's old name. He didn't want to believe it, but it didn't seem like the sort of thing Dokugaku would just make up. And it explained a fragment of memory that occasionally haunted his nightmares.

"It's not some sick joke, Gojyo. I pinned you down and kissed you. I would have gone a lot further than that if I hadn't come to my senses. I had to leave you behind to keep you safe from me."

He's in bed, and the terrible creaking and moaning from the next room has finally ceased. Jien slips into bed beside him, smelling like her, and he curls up against his older brother, feeling safe even though Jien has been acting a little weird lately.

Jien pets his hair and….

Even after what Dokugaku had just told him, his mind refused to acknowledge anything beyond that point. He quietly watched the sun sink below the horizon, unsure what to think or feel.

Being pinned and kissed didn't really sound all that bad, especially considering some of the shit he did remember, but he supposed the fact that it involved Jien made it more painful to contemplate. His brother had been his protector and the only person who had given a damn about him. The thought of him doing anything to him made about as much sense as the sun turning green or the sky brown.

"Say something," Dokugaku blurted suddenly.

Gojyo stared at him blankly for a moment. He really couldn't think of anything meaningful, so he went with the first thing to pop into his head. "Huh… wow…. That's just… that's just really fuckin' pathetic, man," he said flippantly, finishing his cigarette and immediately lighting another. "You should seriously be ashamed. You must be a really lousy kisser if it makes people repress memories of it."

"Damn it, Gojyo!" Dokugaku growled, grabbing his shoulder.

Gojyo jerked away from him, glaring angrily. What he'd been told still didn't truly feel real to him. At least, nowhere near as real as the pain and loneliness of being abandoned. "What the hell do you want me to say? That now that you've explained, I think leaving me behind was the right thing? Sorry, but I don't think that. You stopped yourself, Jien, and Mom was dead. She couldn't fuck you up anymore than she already had. You would have been less likely to do anything, not more, fuckin' dumbass."

"There's no way of knowing that for sure."

"Do you have any fucking idea what happens to kids left to fend for themselves on the streets?" Gojyo hissed angrily. Part of him was viciously pleased by the look of sick horror on the other man's face. The rest of him felt like a total jackass.

"Oh, god… you were…." Dokugaku stared down at the ground. "You were such a cute, resourceful kid," he said hoarsely. "I always told myself you'd be able to charm you way into a good family once you found a place where they didn't know you were a child of taboo."

Gojyo sighed, his anger draining away at the sight of his brother's pain. "It'd serve you right if I let you think I was attacked by pervs, but, no, I wasn't." He slung his arm around Dokugaku's shoulders, smiling reassuringly. "Come on, bro, let's see if they got anything for adults to drink in this glorified daycare."

"Mm. Yeah," Dokugaku said, smiling back.

"I actually ended up as the personal errand boy of the madam of a whorehouse. It was awesome, and, no offense, she was a hell of a lot prettier than you…. And apparently a better kisser."

Dokugaku snorted and lightly smacked him upside the head. Then they headed off together in search of alcohol.

Four days after being left behind by the two most important people in his life, a young boy crouches defensively in an alley. He's cold and exhausted and the two infected cuts across his left cheek throb with pain.

He pants for breath, watching the man who slowly approaches him. The man's companions are on the ground, one feebly whimpering in pain as he clutches the pitiful remains of his manhood. The other is still and quiet, a broken beer bottle rammed into his gut.

"I'm gonna have to kill you, little rat," the man says. "But first, I think I'm gonna have a bit of fun. Teach you a lesson before I send you on to the next life."

"I'll just bite yours off too," the boy snarls, glaring defiantly. They both know he doesn't really have the energy to do anything, but he isn't just going to quietly give in.

The man just laughs and pins the boy face down. "Sorry, rat, but you don't got no teeth where I'm going."

It hurts, but the boy doesn't scream. People have hurt him his entire life. He's tired of it. He's tired of everything really….

He's only vaguely aware of anything when there's a loud thump followed by a strangled cry from above him. The pain stops, and he drifts off into the soft embrace of unconsciousness.